Chapter 7
So in a manner of speaking
I just want to say
That just like you I should find a way
To tell you everything
By saying nothing
-In a Manner of Speaking by Nouvelle Vague
Carlisle had left the room to make a phone call to one of his old colleagues at Forks Hospital that he felt could possibly help Quil recover, leaving the kitchen in an uproar of mini-discussions. Jake and Embry were muttering in voices I knew were intentionally too quiet for me to hear, while Paul and Jared seemed oblivious to my presence as they discussed the possibility of ever forgetting their imprints.
Geeze, way to be considerate guys.
Sam decided after a few minutes that it was a good time to send Seth, Brady and Collin out on patrol, probably just to clear up some space in the house that was currently overflowing with wolves. Then he resumed his position standing close to Emily. I watched as Sam and Emily stared at each other with almost sickening adoration and decided it was time for me to get the hell out of this kitchen.
Rising up from my chair as noiselessly as possible, I moved around the table and slipped out of the room. Apparently no one seemed to notice or mind that I had left and I walked down the dim hallway with a feeling of relief.
I think it's time to check on Quil…
My nerves were painfully on edge as I slowly came to as stop in front of the master bedroom door and I took a breath to try and calm myself. It was ridiculous how anxious I felt, when it was only Quil on the other side of this door. Just my best friend in the entire world who knew me better than anyone and yet who would now think of me as a stranger.
Just open the door Claire. You need to get this over with.
Steeling myself for whatever situation might come my way, I grabbed the door knob and began to turn. Unfortunately, the knob was already turning from the inside and the door flung open causing me to stumble forward with surprising momentum. The only thing that prevented me from falling flat on my face was that I collided with a hard, solid body that didn't even flinch at the impact.
Two hot hands gripped my arms and steadied me in place. "Woah there! You okay?"
I knew that deep, velvety voice almost as well as my own. It was my Quil.
"Yea. Sorry. I was just-just you know trying to open the door. I mean obviously. I wouldn't just crash up into you if I could help it." Oh god. Remove foot from mouth. Why was I suddenly a nonsensical idiot?
Quil's eyebrows rose in confusion or amusement. Maybe both. "Well alright then. No harm done yea?"
I nodded vigorously like I was some weird bobble-head toy before I realized what I was doing and mentally kicked myself.
"So you're Claire right?" Quil said in a way that showed he already knew the answer to his question.
I inwardly flinched a little that he even had to ask such a thing, but tried not to show my discomfort. "Yes I'm Claire."
I didn't really know what else to say. It was a weird feeling, since I usually blabbered on non-stop when Quil was around. He eyed me for a moment before hesitantly speaking again.
"So apparently I should know who you are, but my stupid brain injury is really screwing things up. I guess I'm well…sorry about that."
His sincerity was heart-breaking. "It's not your fault Quil. Everyone is just glad you're okay. I'm glad you're okay."
Quil didn't seem to pick up on the earnest tone I had used in my last statement, but nodded just the same. "It seems like the guys are pretty upset about this though. Like Embry seriously looked like he wanted to punch me after he came back from taking you out of the room last night."
He frowned, obviously still confused about this, before glancing down at my face.
"You wouldn't have any idea about that would you?" He questioned softly while I struggled to keep my face expressionless. All I wanted to do was reach out and pull him into a hug like I always did.
"Well the guys are kind of protective of me and they were probably worried about how I would react to all this," I managed to say in one long breath.
Quil's face relaxed a little. "Oh okay. So since your Emily's niece, you're like a sister to all us guys then?"
Oh hell to the NO.
"No!" I suddenly proclaimed without thinking.
"No?" Quil repeated with a puzzled expression and I gave an awkward laugh.
"It's uh just that I'm more of a friend to the guys! Like we all hang out and do stuff together as-as peers."
As peers? What the fuck?
Quil was staring at me like I had just spoken in Japanese, but he slowly began to nod his head. "Okay. So you and I are friends?"
And magically bound soulmates, but that part can wait til later I suppose.
"Yes! We're friends." I would take what I could get at this point. Anything had to be better than being Quil's sister.
"Great," Quil said with a smile lacking in the usual joyful adoration I was accustomed to. It was going to be difficult getting used to that.
I cleared my throat so that I wouldn't do something stupid like spontaneously burst into tears over the loss of my 'Quil-smile.' Carlisle had made it very clear that I needed to keep things relaxed and casual for Quil's sake. "So are you feeling all rested up now?"
I watched closely as Quil cracked his neck with a sideways movement. "Yea I'm feeling pretty good. Well except for one thing…"
Is he still hurting? Didn't Carlisle check everything?
Automatically my hand reached up toward him, seeking to soothe away any ailment he might be experiencing. "What's bothering you? Should I get Carlisle?"
My voice was much too panicky, but I couldn't help it and my hand finally came to rest on Quil's upper arm where it gripped the sleeve of his t-shirt. Quil looked taken aback by my reaction and leaned a little away from me. The painful fissure in my heart expanded a bit more.
"Um actually I'm just really hungry." Quil's stomach let out a loud rumble to emphasize his point.
"Oh of course you are," I muttered in an embarrassingly high-pitched voice. Quil's eyes flicked over to where I was still clutching his shirt and my fingers withdrew as if they had been burned.
"Sorry. I'm still kind of freaked out since the vampire incident yesterday." It wasn't the full truth, but my nerves were pretty fried from this whole ordeal. Quil's expression softened in understanding and I suppressed another urge to hug him.
"I'm sure that was really scary for you. That leech didn't hurt you, right?" He gave my body a once-over apparently checking to see if I was unharmed. It would have been comforting except for the fact that my safety would have normally been Quil's first and most pressing concern. Now I fell somewhere behind his desire to get some food.
"No no. You got there before anything could happen." I ended up whispering, but I knew Quil's sharp hearing could pick up every word.
He seemed genuinely pleased. "That's a relief."
"Yea I never said thank you for that actually. So thank you for…saving me Quil. And I'm-I'm so sorry I was even out there to begin with. I was stupid. And now look what's happened…" I was getting choked up now, the tears pooling in my eyes with alarming speed.
Quil seemed surprised again by the intensity of my emotions and ended up looking at a point over my head instead of meeting my gaze. "Don't apologize Claire." I shivered a little when he said my name. "The pack is made to protect the tribe and I was doing my job. We all know the risks that go along with this."
Just doing his job? I'm like a stranger to him now.
An awkward silence settled over us as Quil seemed to be unnerved by my teary-eyed expression, but didn't know how to comfort me. Luckily for him however, Jake and Embry picked that particular moment to interrupt us.
"What's going on back here?" Jake chimed as he and Embry came to stand in the doorway.
Quil was instantly more relaxed in the presence of his two closest friends and he flashed a bright smile. "Just talking to Claire."
Jake grinned back at him before responding with his characteristic "Sure, sure."
"So is there any food left for me out there? I swear I smell waffles. And bacon." I could practically see the drool forming in Quil's mouth as he sniffed the air excitedly.
"Nope. I ate it all sorry," Jake said with a laugh and Quil reached around me to swat at him.
Embry sighed before pulling me to his side, away from Quil and Jake. "It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt," he remarked with a pointed glance at the two men currently exchanging playful blows.
Quil reached over and mussed up Embry's hair affectionately. "Oh c'mon Embry you know we wouldn't hurt her!"
It was extremely bizarre hearing Quil tell someone else that he wouldn't hurt me. How many times had the other pack members repeated that exact statement to calm him down?
Embry contradicted himself by punching Quil in the arm in retaliation for the hair-ruffling and I felt a fleeting urge to giggle. The three of them acted like kindergartners when they were all together, reunited like this.
Such cute giant man-children.
"Okay enough of this. I'm checking out the food situation!" Quil called out before bolting down the hallway in the direction of the kitchen. A wolf could only last so long without succumbing to the call of his stomach.
"Typical Quil," Embry muttered before glancing toward where I was standing immobile in the doorway.
"He wasn't a jerk to you, was he?" Jake asked me before Embry could say anything.
"No, he was as nice as he always is with people he doesn't know very well." My tone was sourer than I had intended, but reflected my mood accurately.
"Don't take it to heart Claire, this is only the first time he's talked to you since the accident." Jake was trying to remain optimistic, but it didn't make me feel any better. I shrugged my shoulders and gave a little huff.
"Yea he just treats me like I'm a complete stranger…doesn't even know what to say to me. No big deal." The tears were creeping up again and I cursed my weakness. This whole pity party thing was so not me, but I kept indulging in it anyway.
Grow up Claire. This won't help things.
Embry shot a worried glance in Jake's direction before patting me on the shoulder. "C'mon Claire, he just needs everyone to help him remember. You especially."
"But how do I even start? It's kind of hard to explain that we became best friends when I was like two years old."
Jake let out a chuckle. "Show Quil some pictures of the princess makeover you did on him for your third birthday. I'm sure that'll jog his memory!"
I giggled a little as I imagined Quil's reaction to his face covered in brightly-colored makeup. "I don't know if he can handle that information just yet. Carlisle said we need to take it slow, remember?"
"True. That's probably something he wants to forget anyway," Jake said with a grin. Embry's face on the other hand was scrunched up in concentration.
"You know," he began, "that picture thing isn't a bad idea. Showing him some photos of the two of you together could help him remember something."
Jake nodded. "See, I'm pretty much a genius."
"And better yet…" Embry continued, ignoring him, "You could take Quil places that are significant to you both and see if experiencing it with you has any effect."
"Like the beach," I mumbled, the wheels already turning in my head. Embry was right. I needed to be proactive about this memory loss thing or I was going to drive myself crazy.
"That's the spirit! Operation Quil Memory Refresh commences!" Jake's giant fist was suddenly close to my face, waiting to be bumped. I complied and knocked our knuckles together, trying to be as positive about the situation as he was.
"Operation Quil Memory Refresh? God that's terrible," a familiar voice drawled and I looked up to see Collin in the hallway, dirt streaked across his faded cut-offs.
Jake rolled his eyes. "And you think you can do better?"
Collin's face lit up excitedly and he leaned in with a conspiratorial grin. "Duh. If you're going to start a covert operation, it needs to have a secret code name. You can't just hatch the chicks with the wolf in the hen house!"
I laughed my first real laugh of the day and it felt surprisingly good. "That is not a legitimate saying!"
Collin waved off my statement with a fluttery hand gesture. "What it means, is that we can't be going around saying Operation Get Quil's Memory Back right in front of him! It needs to be clandestine."
"Wow I'm impressed. I didn't even think you knew any three syllable words," Embry dead-panned and Collin shot him a glare.
"So what name ideas do you have for us Agent Collin?" I tried to remain as serious as possible, but listening to Collin's spiel about secret missions was just too damn funny.
He motioned for us to all move in closer and began speaking in a hushed voice. "I was thinking Operation QUICKSAND."
I could feel my forehead wrinkling in confusion. "What does quicksand have to do with anything?"
"It's an acronym of course! QUICKSAND or rather 'Quil's Unremembered Imprint Can Keenly Stand Against Needless Destruction!' Isn't it brilliant? Like it explains how you can overcome anything, even Quil's memory loss…and also the idea of Quicksand is cool because it's like you're, y'know pulling him back into the imprint!"
His eyes shifted around the circle, waiting for us to respond with the same level of enthusiasm. "I'll just let that sink in for a bit," he chirped when none of us responded.
I knew he couldn't eat 20 Strawberry Pop-Tarts everyday and not somehow be affected…
"Holy shit Collin, that's strangely awesome," Jake finally said, effectively breaking the silence.
Embry turned to him in surprise. "Wait, what?"
"You have to admit, the little psycho's idea is pretty unique. I like it." Jake clapped Collin on the shoulder and the younger wolf beamed in pride. I knew there was no way we could change the name of our 'mission' now.
"Okay then. Operation Quicksand it is," I remarked while Embry sighed resignedly. My statement was met with a little cheer from Collin and he grabbed me into a hug, spinning me around. Seriously, for being technically older than me Collin sure as hell didn't act like it.
"You'll see Claire, this is going to work. Quil will be back to normal in no time!" Collin's words warmed my currently fractured heart because I knew he was doing all of this ultimately to help me. I loved my big, cuddly wolf family.
After a brief discussion regarding secret code names—I was now dubbed 'Triple C' which stood for Chocolate Chip Claire in a nod to my love for chocolate chip waffles—the guys were pushing me back toward the kitchen to begin the first "phase" of our operation. According to Jake, Quil needed to acclimate to my presence, so I would have to casually hang around him until he got used to me again.
Unfortunately my entrance into the kitchen wasn't so casual because Collin shouted "Triple C in the house!" when we reached the doorway and gave me a shove that caused me to stumble into the back of Quil's chair. Quil promptly began choking on an over-sized bite of waffle that he had been working on and I instinctively clapped him hard on the back to help dislodge it.
"Triple C?" I heard Paul mumbling from his spot at the table. "Isn't that the street name for some over-the counter cough medicine that people trip out on?"
Only Collin would give me a fucking drug code name.
"Well that definitely makes the name more badass!" Collin called out happily while I watched Quil continue to gag on his waffle. This whole casual thing was not working out well. Noticing that Quil's glass was empty, I quickly trotted over to the sink and filled it up with water before shoving it toward him.
"Thanks," he rasped after he finished drinking and could properly breathe again.
"No problem, I save lives all the time." I grinned happily at him, basking in the close proximity to his warm body. Quil's returning smile made me melt.
"I guess now we're even then," he replied. I nodded while Collin sent me a thumbs up from across the room. Maybe this wouldn't be as horrible as I thought it would be. Quil would eventually have to see how perfect I was for him…I just had to do like Collin said and "pull him in."
Operation Quicksand commence!
A/N: Yay go Claire go :) Hope you guys enjoyed it! Would love to hear your thoughts thanks! xoxoxo :)
