What Home Looks Like
Chapter Seven: Hand and Hand
A/N: Wow, all this angst is killing me, but it's so fun to write haha. I just want to thank all the supporters of this story because I know it's not a well-known ship and this story is pretty hard hitting so I'm glad people are reading and reviewing, it means the world to me :)
"Loki, where did you go?" Dean asked, opening the door to the room Loki had been staying in, but the bed was made and the room was empty.
Dean had a thought, it was a bit of a long shot but he tried it anyway.
Dean crossed the corridor to his own bedroom and, sure enough, found Loki sat on his bed, holding his knees to his chest and staring at the floor.
Dean visibly deflated. "Jesus, man. I was worried about you."
Loki didn't say anything.
Dean hovered in the door way for a minute before it occurred to him that this was no time to be awkward. He crossed the room to his bed and climbed on, sitting cross legged in front of Loki.
Loki didn't look up at him. He continued to stare, unseeing, in front of him.
Dean sighed. "Listen, Loki. I know you don't want to talk about it. I can't believe she said that to you..."
Loki was looking at him, eyes portraying no emotion. "Can't you?" He asked.
Dean's shoulders slumped. "Look, she's a dick, okay? People like that are always gonna be dicks, you need to get away from it. The stuff she was talking about, it's your business. You don't need to justify it to her, you don't even need to justify it to me, but I promise that if you ever need to talk about this kind of stuff, I'll always be here for you."
Loki blinked a few times, his eyes suddenly going softer, like the ice blue in his irises was melting.
"Thanks." Was all he said, but it was barely audible.
"Shit." Dean said after a moment, scratching his head. He had to say something, he couldn't just leave this, he knew he couldn't.
"What is it?" Loki asked.
Dean closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and extending a hand out to the Asgardian. However, his hand froze in mid air before it could reach it's target. He wasn't sure what he was doing, or what he had even intended to do.
Loki watched his arm for a moment before he tentatively reached his own hand out and wrapped his pale fingers around Dean's tan ones.
Loki's hand was cool, Dean's was hot. Just like the first time.
"I'm your friend." Dean told him. "And I can't...you're not a failure because you're alive, if anything, it makes you a winner because you came back from it."
Loki's eyes searched his for a moment. "You really know what you're talking about, don't you?" It wasn't a question.
"Yes, I do." Dean told him. "You wouldn't believe how long I've lived thinking I was a loser, thinking the world would be better off without me. I still struggle with that today, but I was wrong. You're wrong, too."
"I don't know what would have happened to me if you hadn't found me before," Loki admitted quietly. "Or, if Thor hadn't found me the first time."
Dean nodded slightly. "Yeah, Sif said 'twice'."
Slowly, Loki took his hand from Dean's and went to his shirt. Dean watched his hand travel to his collar and pull it down.
Dean looked at the alabaster skin of Loki's chest for a moment before he looked back to Loki's face. "I don't understand." He admitted.
With his other hand, Loki outlined a section of exposed skin, Dean could see a faint outline against the white. A scar?
"This was my first try." Loki explained.
Dean found it hard to tear his gaze away from the suddenly very visible scar indented into Loki's skin. "What happened?" He asked.
"Well, because of the magic and everything, people think I'm sneaky, so they've always called me 'serpent'. Someone said it, I don't even know who, and I was holding my sceptre at the time..." Loki's voice suddenly broke and his hand left his collar, covering the scar once more.
"Hey, it's okay." Dean assured him.
Loki swallowed. "I buried my sceptre in my chest, hoping it would be quick but it wasn't. It was some of the most excruciating pain I'd ever experienced..."
Dean felt a tear he didn't even know was there fall down his cheek. He'd never empathised with someone's pain as much as he empathised with Loki's, and he knew why.
It was because they were the same, they had suffered through the same struggles. And it scared Dean how easily he could have buried a knife in his chest, or how easily he could have died alone in a parking lot.
Would anyone have found him?
Would anyone have cared enough to pick him up, take him home and change his mind?
"Oh." Loki said, "you're crying. I'm sorry..."
"Don't." Dean told him immediately. "Don't you dare say sorry for being a victim. If only I'd known you before, I could have done something..."
Dean suddenly felt the weight of Loki's arms around him, Dean squeezed his eyes shut as he put his own arms around the Asgardian's lean frame and pulled him tighter into him, trying to make them one person so they would always be protected by the other.
Loki realised, in that moment, that he could have any home, any bed, any realm but he would never be more comfortable than when he was in the arms of Dean Winchester.
He had no idea how he felt about the human, unsure if it was love, platonic or romantic, or if it was simply a need for protection. But he felt like their souls were the same, and they'd found each other again.
…
Thor was twiddling Mjolnir around in his fingers, racked with guilt at what he should do. Part of him wanted to find Loki but then another part of him felt too guilty to go looking for him.
Dean had been right, he should have been there for him.
He didn't know where Sif had gone or whether or not she was still close, he knew the warriors three had followed her out instead of following Loki, but they had never been his friends, he'd never had any friends.
But these humans, they seemed to show him kindness enough. He wondered what Midgard saw in Loki that Asgard did not.
Sam was sat across the room from him, not saying a word. Thor supposed he didn't know what to say. Not only had he just discovered that the God of mischief had tried to kill himself twice, he'd also had the shock of hearing it being said in such a disgraceful manner, he probably didn't know what to think.
Although Thor was sure that Sam had judged him on his actions, for not being there for his brother, in fact, for not being any use to anyone since he had gotten to Earth. Thor felt such a failure in that moment that he suddenly felt the need to apologise to the youngest Winchester.
Thor looked up to Sam and frowned. Sam's eyes flashed the brightest blue for a split second before returning to their natural colour.
"Sam?" Thor asked quizzically.
Sam merely stood silently, suddenly stiff, and walked towards the door.
"Sam?" Thor called again, perplexed. He stood, ready to follow Sam out of the bunker. "Sam, what is wrong?" Again, no reply.
Thor frowned to himself, sure he had seen Sam's eyes change colour before he had left.
Was it some kind of Midgardian sickness? Or witchcraft?
Realising there was only one person with an intimate knowledge of magic in the vicinity, Thor crossed the room to the corridor and began opening doors at random.
When he came across his brother, he backed out of the room immediately as he saw Loki embracing Dean upon the humans bed.
Upon seeing him, the pair immediately broke apart. Thor watched as Dean blushed and Loki's hand flew to his head, his fingers contrasting with his dark hair.
"Thor?" Loki exclaimed. "Err..."
"I apologise for interrupting," Thor began, trying to ignore the pit in his stomach that was quickly forming. Trying to ignore the fact that Loki seemed to find more comfort in this human than in his own brother. Although Thor was aware he wasn't being much of a brother lately.
Dean still wasn't looking at him.
"It is about your brother." He said, and Dean's eyes immediately found his; blush dissipating.
"Why? What happened to him?" He asked quickly.
"His eyes appeared to change colour," Thor explained, frowning at the memory. "And he left the bunker. I was going to follow him but I thought I should consult Loki first."
"Oh, God." Dean said desperately, running his hand through his short hair. "Oh shit, we have to find him."
"What?" Asked Loki, confused, as Dean jumped off of the bed. "Dean, calm down."
"We need to get to him." He told them quickly before leaving the room.
Thor looked quizzically to Loki, who merely shrugged back.
...
They found Dean in the conference room, loading his gun.
"Dean?" Asked Loki.
"We need to find him." Dean told him without turning around.
"I know." Said Loki quickly, "I just...how do we find him?"
"I can search for him." Thor said, causing Loki to swivel round a stare at him.
"What?" He asked.
"I can fly," Thor informed him, somewhat redundantly. "I can do a much wider search, he can't have gone far."
"He must have taken a car," Dean told him. "We can check which one is missing and then you can look for that."
Thor nodded and followed Dean down to the garage, Loki stood around in the conference room, glancing around.
Come on Loki, you're smart. He told himself. Think. What would Sam...or Sam's subconscious...do?
"Shit." Loki said to himself. "Metatron, he's gone after Metatron."
With that, he ran after Thor and Dean.
"He's going after Metatron!" He called out again as soon as he reached the garage, Thor and Dean turned to him immediately.
"He's going after Metatron?" Thor asked. "Did he tell you this?"
"No, but where else would he go?" Loki pointed out.
Dean's face dropped. "Shit, of course. We need to get after him." He looked around quickly and Loki sent a worrying look to his brother which Thor returned.
A few minutes later, Dean returned to them. "He took the black Cadillac," he informed them, turning to Thor. "You've seen it before, it was the last one he used."
Thor nodded once. "I remember, I'll trace it immediately." And with that, he walked out of the garage.
A few seconds after Thor had disappeared, Dean went to follow in the same direction. As he passed, Loki held out a hand and pulled him back. Dean was shocked at his superior strength.
"Where are you going?" Asked Loki. "We can't do anything until Thor gets back." He said firmly.
Dean had to meant to pull away, if he could, and follow Thor anyway but there was something in Loki's voice that grounded him. The voice of reason. It wasn't often he listened to reason.
Upon seeing Dean's expression change, Loki released his arm. Dean moved the appendage awkwardly; Loki frowned.
"Sorry," he said, clenching his fingers.
Dean shook his head. "Don't be. You're right, I feel like I'm losing my head."
Loki tried his best comforting smile. "It's okay, you're looking out for your brother. I would go a little crazy if something happened to Thor. I mean, I have."
Dean found himself smiling. There was such a comforting presence about Loki for some reason, just looking at his now familiar face made Dean feel relaxed. There was no pressure with Loki, he wasn't hiding anything from him, he didn't need to protect him. They could just be.
"I'm really glad you're here." Dean admitted honestly.
Loki put a hand on Dean's shoulder, albeit softer this time. The cool touch of Loki's hand made Dean's own skin feel extremely overheated even though Dean knew it wasn't. His touch felt like a balm upon a nasty burn.
Loki took his hand away and Dean was disappointed at the loss.
"We should go back upstairs." He said, gathering himself.
He walked past the God and jogged up the flight of stairs back to the upper level, Loki followed.
...
Thor didn't return for a while. Loki and Dean sat on opposite sides of the conference table.
Loki watched Dean staring numbly at the ground and wished he could say something to comfort the hunter but could think of nothing.
The silence between the pair was almost deafening in it's intensity, Loki could feel the worry coming off of Dean in droves.
"This is all my fault." Dean said after a moment, to no one in particular.
Loki shook his head. "Have you ever noticed how much you do that? Blame yourself for stuff that couldn't possibly be your fault?"
Dean looked at him and his expression was suddenly so hard that Loki was taken aback. He knew there was something going on with Sam that Dean couldn't tell him about, but it couldn't really be that horrific, could it? Dean wasn't like that, he didn't have a malicious bone in his body.
"What I'm saying," Loki pressed on, "is that it would help everyone, including Sam, if you weren't so hard on yourself. My selfish acts put my family through hell."
Dean shook his head to himself. Selfish acts...that's what Loki's twisted family had convinced him his suicide attempts were.
Dean opened his mouth to reply when a crash sounded outside.
Looking at each other, Loki and Dean got to their feet immediately and rushed out of the bunker.
Dean's jaw dropped when he saw Thor stood outside, hammer on the ground and surrounded by splinters where the ground had literally cracked under his weight.
"Did you find him?" Asked Loki immediately, apparently more used to Thor's dramatic displays than Dean was.
"Yes," Thor told them, "I followed his car through the air, 300 miles north. He appeared to park outside of some form of large building and hasn't moved."
"300 miles North." Dean echoed. "If I drive there, can you direct me to the building?" He asked Thor.
Thor nodded. "Of course, my friend. It is the least I can do."
Dean turned to Loki. "Okay, come with me. We'll go and get the Impala."
Loki nodded once. "Is it with the other cars?"
Dean nodded before heading back into the bunker, Loki went to follow him before he was stopped by Thor calling after him.
"Brother...I am..." Began Thor, but Loki held up a hand to silence him.
"There are bigger things happening here." Was all he said before he turned and disappeared into the bunker.
Thor frowned. Loki followed this Winchester the way he used to follow him. It made him feel uneasy and alone at the same time.
He picked up Mjolnir.
…
Loki found Dean in the bunker, standing with his legs apart and his arms crossed.
Loki frowned, unsure why Dean had adopted a protective stance until he saw who Dean was talking to.
Sif was stood before Dean. Hogan, Fandral and Volstagg were leant against various vehicles that Loki couldn't identify.
When his gaze reached them, they looked away.
"You should allow us to help, if your brother truly is going after Metatron. It is why we were sent to Earth." Sif was telling Dean.
"I don't need your help." Dean told her coldly, "why don't you just go back to Asgard? You're not needed here."
Sif turned her gaze to Loki who was stood behind Dean, unsure what to do with himself.
"Loki..." She began reproachfully, as if looking for his support.
"Don't talk to him." Dean said, unconsciously moving in front of the Frost Giant. "Just go."
Sif's eyes didn't leave Loki's for a long a moment and Loki looked away, uncomfortable. He finally heard Sif call the warriors three to follow her, telling them they were to await Thor's direction until the party ascended the stairs to the bunker.
Loki kept his eyes on Dean's back, watching the hunter visibly deflate in front of him.
"Sorry about that." He said without turning to Loki. "I know you can look after yourself."
Loki smiled to himself, glad that Dean couldn't see him. "It's fine." He said quietly, although what he really meant was, thank you.
…
The drive was a tense one, mainly because they had to keep rendezvousing with Thor to make sure they were going in the right direction but also because there was the ever-present fear that Sam may have left before they even got there.
Apparently, however, luck was on their side as they saw a black Cadillac parked where Thor had told them to stop.
The large building looked like a school to Dean, he shook his head to himself. Why would Zeke drag Sam to a school to track down Metatron? He would never understand angels.
Dean watched as Loki shrugged out of his coat and threw it onto the back seat, leaving him dressed in only the tunic of his armour.
His bare arms seemed more muscular now than when Dean had first saw them when they'd met a year ago, but he couldn't he sure.
He watched as Loki pulled a hair tie from his wrist and quickly pulled his hair up into a loose ponytail, a few stray strands of raven fringe falling into his eyes.
"Why don't you just cut it off?" Dean asked as Loki pushed the errant strands behind his ear.
Loki smiled shallowly as he walked over to the Winchester. "My mother would kill me, it's an Asgardian thing."
Dean bit back a comment that he liked Loki's hair just the way it was because he felt this wasn't necessarily the time or the place to hit on an ancient trickster god, he merely nodded in agreement.
"This is where human's and Asgardian's differ, my dad would have killed me if I grew my hair out that long."
"Sam's is pretty long." Loki observed as the pair made the walk to the entrance of the school.
"Sam was always a bit of a rebel."
Loki laughed but the sound died in his throat when he saw Thor stood next to what remained of the glass entrance door.
"Did you do that?" He asked, glancing at Mjolnir.
Thor shook his head. "Sam did this, I watched him punch through it with his bare hands. I have never seen such strength in a human."
"No, nor I." Loki said, confused. He turned to Dean but he was already through the door.
Loki sighed lightly and followed after him, hoping one day Dean would trust him enough to share the information with him as he was beginning to get quite curious.
"Why would Sam go to a place of learning?" Asked Thor after a moment, startling Loki momentarily as he hadn't realised that the God of thunder was walking behind him.
"I think something must have brought him here." Began Dean, producing a torch from his coat pocket and illuminating some of the space around them. "Ze...Sam is an efficient tracker."
Efficient tracker. Loki repeated in his head. Dean would have never said anything like that around Sam.
Loki looked curiously at the plastic chairs and blue walls illuminated by Dean's torch, unsure how anything here could have stimulated learning. He vaguely recalled the golden spires and pristine framework of Asgardian schools with a nostalgic sigh. Things weren't as perfect on Asgard when you grew up.
Dean heard the sigh and swiveled, lighting Loki with the torch. "What's wrong?" He asked a little edgily.
Loki lifted his hand to protect his eyes from the glare of artificial light. "Ah, nothing. I just remembered something useless."
The light danced off of the muscles in Loki's bare arms and Dean was momentarily mesmerised by it before he remembered that he was supposed to be worried about Sam.
Thor laughed slightly. "Brother, you look like me."
Loki echoed his brothers laugh a little humourlessly, not able to tell Thor he actually thought his armour was a little restricting and was glad for the chance to finally shed some of it.
Dean swiveled the torch back to the front and the group continued to walk through the corridors until Loki stopped them.
"What?" Asked Dean.
Loki put a hand up to shush him and listened carefully. "I think I can hear something."
"What?" Dean repeated. "I can't hear anything."
"It's coming from over there." Loki said, pointing north.
A man's shout came from that direction and Dean's eyes widened. "Okay, now I hear it." He said before all three took off in the same direction.
Dean was momentarily shocked at how fast Loki could run until he reminded himself that he needed to stop doing that. Loki was a strong, powerful Asgardian who didn't need Dean to watch over him. It was somewhat liberating.
Thor was the first one to skid into the upturned classroom. His eyes bulged from his skull as he saw Metatron sat on a plastic chair with Sam looming over him, brandishing some form of silver blade.
Metatron already had numerous cuts on his face.
"Where is the angel tablet?" Sam roared at him.
"Jesus, Zeke. What are you doing?!" Dean raged, storming into the room.
Zeke turned suddenly in their direction, distracted by their sudden entrance.
Metatron wasn't wasting any time, he immediately ran from his chair and to the door but Loki wasn't about to let him go again. He extended his arm and concentrated, watching the red mist jump from his hand and wrap itself around Metatron, becoming stronger than steel.
Of all of Loki's power, physical projection was one of the most taxing. He found himself getting tired immediately.
"Where is the angel tablet?" Zeke thundered again.
"What are you going on about?" Asked Dean. "What are you doing?"
"We need to break the angel tablet, that will open the doors to heaven again."
"What?" Dean repeated, unsure what the hell was going on.
He looked at Metatron, struggling against his bonds. "Is it true? Is that how you break the spell, by destroying the tablet?"
Metatron stopped thrashing and suddenly Dean had his answer.
"Where is it?" He asked, turning to Zeke. "Where did you find him?"
"Here." Zeke told them, gesturing around the room. "I tracked him to this school, he seemed to think no one would look for him here."
"What is your brother going to say when he finds out what you've done to him?" Sneered Metatron. "You're a monster!"
Dean shook his head quickly. "You're the monster here. You can't confuse me with your damn trickery, where is the tablet?"
Metatron didn't say anything.
"Wait, you said this was a school?" Thor suddenly asked from across the room. "And you said he hid here because no one would suspect him? I think I know where it might be."
Dean turned to Loki, who was now looking a little worse for wear. "Loki, I know it's bad, but can you hold him just a little longer?"
"Do what you need to do." Loki said, surprisingly calmly. "I'll wait as long as you need me to."
Dean sent him a quick smile, comforted by the fact that he knew that he didn't have to worry about Loki, and turned to Thor.
"Where is it?"
"Come with me." Thor told him, leaving the room, Dean followed.
"Tablet's are essentially stones with engraved script, are they not?" Thor asked as they walked.
"Yeah, I guess."
"So it is little more than a book. And we are in a school."
Dean blinked. "You think it's in the library."
"This scribe appears to have a twisted sense of humour, and people might ignore such a thing if it is surrounded by other books of similar shape and..."
"Thor, you're a genius!" Dean praised, looking around himself for some sort of sign board. "Where is the library?"
…
They located the library around 20 minutes later and Dean began to get worried as they entered.
"How long can Loki sustain that level of magic?" He asked.
"I do not know." Thor admitted. "He often hides the extent of his magic from us."
"What, why?"
"Because he is worried it makes him an outsider."
"And does it?"
"..."
Dean shook his head. "Can Loki do anything right on Asgard?" He asked incredulously, walking quickly down an aisle to avoid Thor's answer.
Where would the scribe of God hide a tablet in a library? Dean asked himself, before stopping in front of a sign.
Crime and Mystery
Dean sighed to himself, never feeling more done than he did in that moment.
It took him less than 2 minutes to locate the tablet, wedged in-between a dog-eared Miss Marple and a gigantic volume of Sherlock Holmes.
"Oh, you found it." Thor said, sounding a little disheartened.
"I know." Dean agreed. "This seems a little anti-climatic."
The pair made their way down to Loki and Zeke and when they got in there Dean was at least expecting Metatron to have escaped or something but Loki was still holding him, looking a little bored. Zeke was leaning against the wall, waiting, but immediately straightened when he saw what Dean was holding.
"You found it?" He said, sounding a little surprised.
Dean nodded. "Don't get too excited. Shit hiding place, dude." Dean said, facing Metatron.
He scowled."Well, I wasn't expecting you to have anyone as powerful as him with you who could track me down."
Dean's face remained stony. "Smash it."
Dean placed the tablet on the ground and Thor walked forward, hammer at the ready. With an almighty blast, the angel tablet was reduced to rubble.
Everything was eerily silent.
"Is that it?" Asked Thor after a moment.
"I can feel the veil lifting." Zeke said, closing his eyes. Dean could swear he saw his mouth twitching up into a small smile. "The doors to heaven have opened again."
"Yay." Said Dean a little sullenly. "What now?"
"I don't want to worry anyone..." Came Loki's voice from across the room.
Dean and Thor swiveled to see Loki straining as his magic started to loose it's colour. Thor strode forward two steps and seized Metatron with his giant grip.
Loki allowed his magic to dissipate and staggered back as the red mist swirled in the air.
Dean surged forward and caught the God before he fell to the floor.
"Hey, you okay?" Dean asked softly.
Loki nodded and risked a tired smile.
"They can ascend to heaven now." Came Zeke's voice from across the room, like he wasn't particularly addressing anyone.
Now that the adrenalin was starting to wear off, Dean finally allowed the anger he was feeling consume him. He carefully let Loki go and rounded on Zeke.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Asked Dean angrily. "You can't just take control of Sam like that. What if Metatron had hurt you?"
"I had to stop Metatron!" Zeke replied. "When no one else could."
Loki rolled his eyes. "I suppose we should take him to the Asgardian prisons, until Shield figure out what to do with him."
Zeke nodded. "That is satisfactory." He said before leaning his head back, his eyes momentarily flashed blue.
"Hey, no! Don't change!" Dean shouted, moving forward suddenly.
Zeke looked back at him and frowned. "Why? Do you not want your brother back?"
"Of course I do!" Dean snapped. "Just, wait until we get back to the bunker. Then I can make up some story to satisfy Sam."
"As you wish."
…
Loki perched on the hood of the Impala, casting a glance back at the school.
"Hey." Dean said, walking up next to him. "How long is this going to take?"
Loki shrugged. "Not long, I guess. People don't generally argue with Thor's authority."
Dean nodded. The pair lapsed into silence.
"Do you feel like that went too easily?" Loki frowned.
"What do you mean?" Dean asked.
"I don't know. I just feel like this isn't the end."
Dean smirked. "Aren't you cheery? It's done."
"Yeah, it's done." Loki echoed. "Time to go home." He said dejectedly.
Dean remained quiet for a moment. "Yeah."
All feelings of sadness were immediately banished from the Winchester as the heavens opened and a cylinder of golden light erupted down to the ground. Within it's casing, Dean saw Thor striding towards them until the light dissipated, leaving nothing but burn marks on the ground in it's wake.
"Jesus." Said Dean quietly. "What was that?"
"The Bifrost." Loki explained. "It's how we get around. I suppose it is a little flash."
"Metatron is contained." Thor said as he approached them.
"And Odin?" Asked Loki.
"I didn't see him." Thor explained. "But he will be pleased."
Loki didn't look as happy as Thor did.
"Uh, we should probably get back to the bunker." Dean cut in. "You can collect your, uh, friends."
He turned on his heel and got into the driver's seat of the Impala. Not sure if he trusted Zeke alone in the Cadillac.
"Dean's right, we should go." Said Loki, clambering off of the hood.
Thor frowned slightly. "What is wrong with Sam?" He asked quietly.
"I don't know." Loki admitted after a moment.
"Is is magic?"
"If it is, it is nothing I've ever seen before. It seems as if he is some internal shape changer, but that in itself seems a little unlikely for Midgard."
Thor laughed. "In this world of angels and demons and you think a shape changer is unlikely."
Loki shook his head, refusing to laugh. "Whatever it is, it's none of our business, it is between brothers."
"Yes." Thor agreed, looking a little uncertain. "Speaking of brothers, Loki..." Thor straightened up slightly. "I am sorry for not standing up for you before. Sif's behaviour was abhorrent."
"You can't control Sif's behaviour." Loki told him, he smiled slightly when he remembered Dean's words from earlier. "Some people are just dicks."
Thor smiled in response. "You are not among them, brother."
"I know," Loki repeated, feeling just a little hopeful. He hoped he could convey the feeling back to Asgard.
The drive back to the bunker was a quiet one. Dean was unusually quiet and Loki tried his best not to worry too much, Dean was a grown man, after all.
Dean deposited Zeke in Sam's bedroom and walked back into the conference room to see Loki and Thor stood awkwardly with Sif, Fandral, Volstagg and Hogan.
Dean could immediately sense the atmosphere but barely had time to say anything before Sam bounded up behind him like an excited puppy.
"Where did you guys go?!" He asked incredulously.
Loki watched in confusion as Dean closed his eyes momentarily before turning to his brother. "Hey, we got wind of Metatron's hideout and didn't want to...wake you."
"And?" He asked. "What happened?"
"We...err, tracked him down. Broke the tablet. Everything is fine."
"Oh." Said Sam, frowning. "Was it easy?"
"Shockingly so."
Thor sent a concerned sideways glance to Loki that he returned as the Winchesters continued to converse.
"I suppose that means you're all leaving." Sam said after a while, sounding a little sullen.
"Yes." Thor said. "Thank you for your hospitality." He said.
Sam nodded and Thor walked past him towards the door, regarding the younger Winchester with curiosity. "Sif, Warriors...with me."
Dean saw Loki angle his head away when they passed, Sif sent a nod in the Winchesters direction but the warriors ignored them completely.
Dean knew now that whatever fractured relationship Loki had had with them was now irreparably broken, he wondered exactly how that would go down on Asgard.
Now it was only Sam, Dean and Loki left in the bunker.
Loki had put his trench coat back on and had let his hair down, he looked exactly as he did when they'd first met, as if nothing had changed.
"Thank you for everything." Sam said genuinely.
Loki waved his hand. "I did little. It was your doing." He addressed them both.
Sam smiled a little awkwardly, obviously remembering the last events that had occurred in the room. "A...are you okay?"
Loki smiled softly at him and nodded once.
Sam nodded a little quickly in response but Dean really believed Loki, he really felt like he was okay. Like things were going to be okay. He couldn't pinpoint exactly why he felt that way, it was just in the air.
Loki turned to Dean and his eyes wavered a little, unsure what he was supposed to say to the human that had changed his life, to the human he was leaving behind.
"I suppose this is it." He said.
"I thought I'd never see you again the first time," Dean said, trying to keep a brave face. "Who knows what's next?"
Loki nodded. "That's true."
Dean held out a hand and Loki regarded it for a moment but did not reciprocate.
"Better not." He said, smiling.
Dean smiled back in response and the pair locked eyes again before Loki walked away and the brothers heard the bunker door close.
Sam didn't necessarily understand the strange exchange between his brother and the God but he saw the way Dean's face fell when Loki walked away.
"What's wrong?" Sam asked, Dean didn't answer. "Dean, did something happen with you and Loki?"
Dean shook his head. "It's just ridiculous."
"What is?"
"Loki! His life. It's fucking tragic. I thought we had it bad but I always had you, and no one hates us like that."
"Look," began Sam, "it's only natural for you to feel sorry for him, you've always had caring instincts for everyone, including me. It always sucks to see someone go through a shit time."
"It's not like that." Dean told him, collapsing into one of the chairs. "The other day, we were looking at this ad for a rom com and I wanted to ask him something but I didn't."
Sam's forehead creased. "What?"
Dean sighed. "I wanted to ask him if he'd ever been in love before. Because he seemed so confused by it. I thought maybe he'd been hurt by someone and it had made him cold but...that's not it. I don't think he trusts love, I think he has his mom, and a complicated relationship with his brother...and that's it. I'm worried about him."
Sam smiled and patted Dean firmly on the back. "It'll be alright. He's an ancient God, he can look after himself."
Although Dean didn't look convinced.
Sam left the room and frowned. He'd never known Dean to obsess over someone's welfare like this, anyone other than him, anyway.
Dean was in deep.
…
They'd walked a little way away from the bunker, into the forest so the Bifrost wouldn't attract any unwanted attention.
Thor could feel the chill of the evening on his skin but Loki seemed unperturbed. A perk of being a Frost Giant, he supposed.
Thor had no idea what was going to happen at home, there was no way Sif and Loki would ever be civil around each other again.
They were walking a good 5 feet apart, refusing to make eye contact with each other. Thor regarded them warily.
He was unsure of his own feelings for Sif, he was angry with her, certainly, but if he finished his friendship with her then Asgard's protection would suffer.
Maybe this could be repaired.
"So," began Thor cheerily, "another triumph for Asgard."
"Come now, it's not as if we did anything." Fandral commented almost lazily. "Apparently the famous Winchesters are Frost Giant fangirls.
Loki ground his teeth together, Fandral didn't even have the decency to whisper. He stopped walking.
"What is your problem, all of you?" He asked loudly, glad they were well away from civilization.
The party stopped walking and turned to him.
"Sorry?" Asked Fandral, looking confused.
"You've always hated me." Loki pointed out loudly, "you'd have to be an idiot not to see that. What exactly have I done wrong, because it is not about the Frost Giant's because you hated me long before any of that."
"We have never exactly seen eye to eye." Hogan commented.
Volstagg stepped closer to Loki. "Maybe it would have been better," he began almost kindly, "if Odin had left you in Jotenheim. For all of us."
Loki felt himself freeze to the spot, paralysed suddenly by the sincerity of Volstagg's words. He felt tears pricking at his eyes but refused to cry.
"You know I was abandoned, in the snow." He told him softly. "I would have died if Odin left me."
"I fail to see the downside." Sif muttered, but everyone heard her.
Thor grimaced, expecting Loki to lunge forward or to attack her with his magic but he didn't.
He looked a little shocked for a moment before he simply turned and walked away from them.
"Loki?" Thor asked uncertainly.
"Do not follow me." Loki replied softly, voice devoid of emotion.
"Loki!" Thor called again, meaning to run after him until he felt Sif's hand on his arm, pulling him back.
"Leave him. He's made his choice." Sif told him.
Thor pulled his arm roughly away from her reach. She frowned.
"I am respecting his wishes, not yours." He told her in a hard voice before turning away and calling for Heimdall.
Thor cast a look back but he could barely make out Loki's outline in the dark. He felt a pit in his stomach form.
…
Dean nursed a glass of Whiskey and looked at his watch, wondering whether he should even bother going to bed.
He raised an eyebrow when he heard a knock at the door.
He carefully took his gun from the table and walked to the door, really not in the mood for any of Crowley's henchmen.
He stepped back in shock when he saw Loki stood there, the God appeared to have dried tear tracks running down his cheeks.
"Loki?" Dean asked, voice a mixture of shock and concern. "What happened? What are you doing here?"
"Remember when we first met," Loki began softly, "and you said I always had a choice? You were right."
Dean blinked a few times. Loki had left them.
He reached a hand out and quickly pulled Loki into the safety of the bunker, and into the safety of his arms.
