S

The incantation was sound, the pronunciation perfect.

It began with a quick draw of power, worrisome in it strength. It only grew from there. More and more till it was a wild thing and lashing with a mind of its own.

"Ground it, Ichigo!"

The earth shook as it thundered with power, blinding and tossing anyone near enough.

S

It wasn't the first time Hirako Shinji had to comfort a distraught Vizard. Their life was not an easy one. Even for those that deliberately became Vizard, the reality of the situation was always different from even the most well-thought out expectations.

Ironically Vizards of circumstance usually took the change better. To change, sacrifice and will were tested; they were purged if they were found wanting. Kurosaki Ichigo won the first battle as a mortal boy.

Had never stopped fighting; against his enemies, against his darker impulses, against hopelessness. During the war it was sometimes all Hirako had to hold on to.

But it wasn't the time to think about the past. Memories like those didn't belong in the same sun-lit room as a boy stubbornly pretending he couldn't see the older Vizard reading next to him, waiting for the dam to break. Pretend he hadn't noticed him enter the library and pull out a book from the many shelves. Hadn't realized Hirako was there specifically to talk about the incident that very morning.

Hirako continued to smile as his keen ears picked up every impatient shift in the boy's posture. It was probably a good thing he was as familiar with Ichigo as he had been. Otherwise it might take just as long as the first time to talk some sense into the boy. As he recalled, Ichigo had always been remarkably adept at outlasting anyone's patience. If one didn't know how to talk to the boy, they would only irritate the orange-haired Vizard into foul-mouthed rage or stubborn silence.

And no one had ever been able to pry an unwilling secret from that stubborn child.
The Arrancar had learned that the hard way.

"I…lost control." Ichigo muttered, resolutely starring at the same page he'd been looking at for the last half-hour.

Hirako nodded silently, never looking up from his book. Ichigo had never taken to sharing personal stuff very well either.

"And?"

He'd also had the odd habit of blaming everything on himself. Guilt and shame colored his voice, "And…I nearly blew the training building."

Hirako hummed softly, absentmindedly flipping a page in his book though he could not tell anyone a word of what he had just read. "You would not be the first one."

He waited till a curious orange-head titled up, guilt-ridden eyes half-hopeful and half-disbelieving. Hirako tilted his own head to meet brown eyes. "It's true, you know."

Ichigo snorted, looking away. "Bet you no one else in the Shinigami Academy came as close as I did to killing their entire class."

Hirako scoffed. "Since when were we Shinigami? We are Vizard—rarer, true, but in general more powerful in the beginning; harder to control our powers because their conflicting nature. So logically the training of those within our ranks will be more…reactive. Besides, since when did you listen to what anyone said much less what Sai said?"

Ichigo shrugged, looking away.

Hirako continued to wait, knowing that was not all that was troubling the boy.

"You…knew me from Before, right?"

Hirako nodded.

"So, was I always…this…uncontrollable?"

"You I fear have entirely too high a definition of what control means, Ichigo."

"Please Hirako. I nearly blew up eight people because I couldn't control myself."

Hirako sighed, vaguely wondering if the boy would ever make anything easy. "It's not a comparison that can be done easily, Ichigo. The first time you were older and as baffling as it might seem you actually had more time that you did this time around to unlock your power; time enough to gradually built your control.

"This time you haven't had that nearly enough time to help you adjust—you've gone through technique after technique, learning as much as you can but even that is no substitute for time. This time around a great deal of your power, more than you ever had to handle last time as an inexperienced novice, is all unlocked. It's pushing you to use it as you once did, giving you knowledge and instincts that you aren't ready for.

"It is to be expected your techniques will be overpowered."

Ichigo was silent as he mulled over the words. "So I'll eventually learn control?"

"All things come with time." Hirako admitted.

The boy glared, sharp eyed as always. "So last time I never did."

"Well, Ichigo, last time you never finished your training." He protested weakly. "You were adamnent on staying with your friends rather than return with us and what training you could get was all found in the battle-field. In the end you simply ran out of time."

"So you don't know if I'll ever learn control." Ichigo nettled.

"And neither do you." Hirako retorted back. "You're learning—properly for the first time. In terms of knowledge you have moved past your previous level—last time the demon arts were beyond you."

"But the demon arts are what started the whole thing." The boy pointed out. "I was trying to do one of the spells and instead I nearly blew everything up. And it was a binding spell. How much worse would it have been if I had done something offensive like a fire spell?"

"That's the whole point, Ichigo. You didn't begin with a fire spell and you won't till you can control a binding spell. Don't expect perfection. It is common for students to take weeks to gather enough power for a binding spell but because you naturally possess a larger reservoir you'll be working from the other end of the spectrum. It will take you some time to control the amount of reiatsu you release."

The boy retreated back into his book. Glancing at Hirako from the corner of his eye, he shrugged. "If you say so."

Smiling, Hirako shook his head. Ichigo would never change.

S

"Get lost Sai." Takuya snapped, hands helpfully pushing the Vizard-in-training on his way.

Sai violently shrugged Takuya off, shaking back unfairly silky black hair. "My, my, little Takuya. There must be something in the air; you are usually never so…spirited.

Takuya's lips tightent, her body awkwardly planted in front of a stretching Ichigo and a bigger Sai. Takuya knew well enough what Sai was refereeing too. Meek little Takuya, just a silly girl that would probably lose the battle to her Hollow soon enough.

"I'm sure you were going to begin your own stretches, Sai. Love-sensei said we were going to spar today and I was so…hoping to go up against you." Takashi towered over them, interrupting the tense pair.

Sai openly let his face twist in distaste as the sight of the other Vizard-in-training, taking in his mesh of Shinigami clothes and blue haori.

"Another time Ichigo," Sai called back, knowing better than to continue after being so heavily outnumbered. "When your pet Shinigami isn't here to defend you and your little playmate."

Ichigo's face flushed angrily but the smaller boy didn't move stiff muscles. He wasn't afraid of the boy. He was afraid of what he would do to the boy.

"I know hundreds of ways to kill arrogant little make-believe Vizards." His Other whispered, bloodthirsty and unhindered by human restraint. "I could teach you…"

Ichigo would love to run at the bastard. Call Zangetsu and slide into steps from a dance that was as part of him as breathing. But he couldn't.

Sai stepped back, dark eyes that should have remained locked on the most visible threat—Takashi—never leaving Ichigo.

But Ichigo wasn't a little boy anymore or an idealistic teenager with too much power, not enough training, but will enough to make his way. He was also an old man who lived and loved, raised a family, and guided them in a world of his own making. He'd lived a life and paid his days in wisdom earned. As such he knew what Sai saw; what Sai feared.

Sai feared him.

Because Ichigo wasn't another miracle child that survived the Vizard transformation. Ichigo was powerful, too powerful. It wasn't enough for the older Vizards to glance at the orange-haired boy with familiarity and something like deference. It wasn't even enough for the boy to be the only one to call his zanpakuto by name. The boy had to show the destructive extent of his powers by mangling a binding spell so badly he nearly incinerated everyone around him when he released the power. Sai still had the bruises to prove it.

And Sai did not know how a child younger than him, less trained, less experienced could surpass him without even trying.

"Forget it." Ichigo muttered at his defenders sullenly. No one had ever had sense enough to fear him. Ichigo found he did not like the feeling at all.

Takuya hovered nervously next to him, her momentary courage having deserted her.

"Let's stretch." Ichigo prodded the girl.

The former Shinigami Takeshi didn't say anything as he moved to do his own stretches near them. Ichigo didn't have to see to know the ex-Shinigami would not stray far.

Though he was a tall imposing figure, Takeshi was a quiet man with a sad air much like Chad but for entirely different reasons.

Already Ichigo had learned Takeshi had been an assistant of one of the twelfth division scientists; a scientist who experimented a little too freely on the Vizard phenomenon. Five Shinigami died, Takeshi being the only one that managed to walk away. He had known enough not to stick around in a place where he might very well grace the test tubes. He'd been made outcast among his former colleagues.

Though the Vizard took him in (and he had known where to find him, his boss had researched that much at least) it did not mean he was trusted. An outcast among his new colleagues.

A Shinigami did not leave Seireitei easily.

Ichigo had known what it meant to step between two worlds. Had not what it meant to be outcast. And though the older Vizard accepted him readily it not mean he was not singled out.

Too powerful a child; it had always been his fate.

S

Renji shifted stiff muscles, futilely trying to wake limbs that had remained motionless for a great deal of hours.

He was a fool, Renji admitted. A complete idiot.

Dead, dead, dead. So many dead. Names and names that Renji wouldn't read, knowing them so well as to half believe them to be ingrained in his very soul. He wondered, like he always did if things could have been better. If there was a way for victory to not have asked such a steep price.

He was a fool for continuing this practice; returning to the memorial pillar to spend the day tormenting himself. If Ichigo were around he would have punched Renji out of his self-imposed pity party. If Ichigo were around Renji wondered if it would have been any different. If Renji would have been strong enough to face the memories he couldn't help but remember without falling.

They fought and fought, bloody and desperate. And they had been loosing. Despite their numbers, their skill, their determination—they had been losing. All their dead, all their sacrifices, all the friends paid to war's alter hadn't been enough.

Their venerated leaders hadn't been able to change anything.

Like in all things, Ichigo had stepped in when they had faltered. At the time their failed campaign casting shadow and suspicion, rumors of traitors springing from every corner. Ichigo had called them useless.

"War is as old as time—why haven't you learnt anything?"

They hadn't wanted to believe; hadn't wanted to know.

"Aizen knows you. Studied each of you while he schemed and painted your little corner of his plot. The only reason I am alive right now—despite everything—is because he only knew Uruhara would send me here but not how far I would go for what I wanted.

"Stop fighting like he expects. Find another way."

They hadn't all believed. Not enough to sway the General anyway. To be exposed to such a degree was not something all of them could admit. Some would die with the delusion they were cleverer; that they hadn't betrayed everything they were to their former smooth-spoken companion.

"Guerilla Warfare." Ichigo had spat, heavy and angry, still bloody from the latest skirmish. "It's stupid to wait for him to attack; for him to set the battlefield in his favor. You're letting him come at you when he is strongest. Stop being stupid."

Zaraki had howled his agreement.

The General had sighed deeply, withered fingers pressed together as he considered the impetuous youth. "Kurosaki, I cannot change our battle plans to fit your views. However…if it is something you are willing to risk your life and that of others, then I will grant this: you may form a squad of volunteer Shinigami. In four months time your success or failure will be brought before me. Choose well, Kurosaki."

It was an idea that not everyone had accepted. To willingly be led by an inexperienced ryoka was more than some could fathom.

"Just as well." Ichigo had snorted. "I'm still surprised some of the dumb-asses here haven't dropped their zanpakuto on their own foot."

Ichigo had always called to Renji. In the beginning it had been spitting rage at his own passiveness in the face of Rukia's condemnation. Later it was courage and fortitude to stand even when he knew the sheer impossibleness of a task. He'd taken Rukia from her death alter, ready to defy his very own captain.

"Do not follow him, Renji." Captain Kuchiki Byakuya had ordered. "He is powerful, of that there is no doubt, but his inexperience will kill all those who follow him."

Renji had bitten down every bitterness that had touched him but he could not stop it all. "We're dying as it is. Better to have some hope than none at all."

Byakuya had only ever wanted to save his vice-captain. "If you leave you will no longer be my vice-captain, Renji."

He remember laughing hollowly. "You've taught me many things, captain, but that is not all that I have learned. I've watched too many of my friends die for that to stop me."

Ichigo's squad was as unofficial as one could get. It was under no division, was under no supervisor, was officially never even recorded in the archives for all that it wasn't even a secret in later years. It was also something Aizen had never expected the Gotei 13 to sanction. It worked better than they could have hoped.

Twenty-two Shinigami, Ryoka, Vizard, and a rebel Arrancar. Twenty-two souls who were asked in secret; sworn into the guerilla squad, who in those days disappeared. They should have hated each other; destroyed their comrades before they ever had a chance to destroy their common enemy. But it worked.

Knowledge enough, speed swift, skill sharp, cunning sharp—they ventured into Hueco Mundo time and time again. Deeper into Aizen's territory.

They made the bastard pay.

"Your aptitude for brooding remains surprising." A soft voice commented behind him. Renji closed his eyes, tilting his head back.

"It never seemed to bother you before." Renji responded.

The figure moved to stand besides him, small hands winding into the crook of his elbow. Rukia's dark head nestled into his side. Together both Shinigami stared at the memorial pillar.

"We all handled the aftermath differently. Some drink, some hunt, you brood, and I forget." Rukia said in the same soft tone. "It never seems fair, you know? We left Rukongai to live; to live when everyone around us kept dying. And here we are—hands still holding the dead."

"I know." Renji said. It had never been fair. "The memories just seem closer tonight than they have in a while. I remember."

"The General's proclamation." Rukia surmised in a blank voice, a poor attempt to hide just how much the news was troubling her. "He will resign in three months time…"

"…and he has enacted a purge on those who conspired with the enemy." Renji finished. "I've heard stories the General accented to power through blood, to settle Seireitei's civil war. Guess he wants to end his reign the same way."

Neither Shinigami said anything, cynical enough do see beyond duty, order, and right and wrong.

Rukia burrowed her head in Renji's side. She whispered, worry blatant. "Soifon's men have been asking questions about Yuzu."

"Ichigo's…"

"Yes." Rukia confirmed. Kurosaki Yuzu might have an auspicious name but they had been careful to never link her closely to the former Kurosaki Ichigo. The Living Shinigami had a habit of disrupting the most carefully laid out plans. As a consequence there were still some that remembered him less than fondly.

"You think its revenge?" To kill the Living Shinigami's sister was a coup some would find worth their while.

Rukia sighed. "I don't know. Who could influence the General enough for the proclamation to include Yuzu's name? It would be justified murder and nothing anyone could do to stop it."

"I won't let them."

She shook her head. "You were part of Ichigo's squad, Renji. Though you brought in Aizen the squad included too many distrusted people for your word to be taken unbiasedly."

His hand drifted next to her, clenching the white haori he was robed in. "I am a captain of the Gotei 13, Rukia. I will not set of an example of cowardness."

It was Kuchiki Byakuya who moved toward him, hands holding a folded white haori Renji was positive was not for him. When he followed Ichigo the red-haired Shinigami had admitted to himself he'd killed his career. He'd be lucky if he ever reached rank within a division.

"You left in defiance of my orders. You have grown." Captain Kuchiki had stated, impassive face not revealing a thing to a nervous Renji. "To be a captain of the Gotei 13 means more than reaching final release of a zanpakuto. A captain is not led, they lead. Congratulations Captain Abarai Renji of the Third Division."

"It's a witch-hunt." Renji stated. "My Division was once Gin's division. They have been looking at us all closely. The General is determined to retire without another Aizen brewing in the wings."

"Be careful, Renji."

S

Bright orange and blinding white were splayed next to each other, two heads tilted to stare at the blue sky. In the distance gray clouds threatened.

"Do not fear our power." His Other instructed. "Do not deny a part of ourselves."

"I…" Ichigo halted, uncertain. "I don't know if I can control it."

His Other bobbed him on the head, "Then don't. It is our power, it will never hurt us. You understood that well enough last time you were half-trained. Do not fear what is part of you."

Ichigo gazed at the bright blue sky.

S

TBC…

A/N: Sorry update was a little slow. Exams that determine my whole future were just slightly more urgent. If it helps, I got an A.

Thanks for the support, I actually feel like I have an audience now.

REVIEW!...please? (Shameless begging)