Chapter 7: Hold Me
Bella POV
I anxiously waited for him to come. All I've done is busy myself with house chores. Charlie seemed to be surprised by my sudden change of mood, but he left it alone. I silently thanked him for not prying. No matter what I did, I just couldn't keep my eyes off of the clock. It's nearly nine pm now. How much longer am I going to have to wait?
"I'm going to crash Bella. Will you be okay?" Charlie asked.
"I'll be okay," I assured him. He walked over to me and crushed me to his chest.
"Whatever's happening between you and Jake, I hope you guys work it out," he whispered in my ear. I nodded. He sighed and trudged up the stairs. I let out a sigh of relief. I was glad he didn't press on further with the cutting issue.
Deciding that it was late enough, I turned off all of the lights downstairs and headed up into my room. I got changed into a pair of navy blue sweat pants and a black tank top. My nerves were wrecking. Get a hold of yourself Bella. It's only Jake. I tied my hair up in a loose pony tail and did the rest of my necessities.
10:30. I groaned and got on my bed. I could already hear Charlie's deafening snores.
He's not going to come.
I jumped slightly when I heard a loud thump on my bedroom floor. Next to my ancient computer stood Jacob Black, in all his glory. "Jake," I whispered.
He almost immediately made his way over to me and crushed me to his chest. "You have no idea how much I've missed you," he breathed into my hair. "I'm sorry for all the things I said. I promise I didn't mean any of it," he apologized. I sighed and relaxed the creases on his forehead.
"It's okay Jake, but you need to tell me what's going on," I told him.
"Here's the thing, I'm a wol – " and just like that, his mouth closed shut. I don't even think it was on his own accord.
"You can't tell me?" I asked softly. He clenched his eyes shut. I lifted my hand up and caressed his face. Soon enough, he was once again relaxed.
"No, I can't," he replied painfully, "What makes it worse, is that you already know it Bella. Can't you remember?" I looked at him in confusion and shook my head. He cupped my cheeks and forced me to look in his eyes. "You have to remember. What did I tell you about my tribe's ancestors that day at the beach?" he asked me. I tried to recall the things he told me but nothing would come up.
"All I can remember is the Cold One's," I answered.
"Of course that's all you would remember," he muttered harshly. Damn it.
"Can you stop this? This isn't you. What happened to my sunny-all-the time Jacob?" I pleaded with him.
"A lot can happen in two weeks Bella. I'm not the same anymore," he replied sadly. He was stroking my hair gently with a focused expression.
"I know that somewhere deep inside you, my Jacob is still there. Don't let him fade away. Please," I whispered. He gave me a small, curt nod.
"I love you Bella. I still do. Please try to remember," he begged. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him to me. "Bella?" he asked.
"Just hold me," I murmured. I heard him sigh before wrapping his arms around me. I leaned closer into his touch and closed my eyes. His musky scent brought me back to the day at the beach.
"The Protectors of our tribe made a treaty with the bloodsuckers, the Cullens"
"Members of our tribe are supposedly descendants of wolves"
"Our tribe's ancestors were what we call Shape-shifters. Men that could transform into wolves"
My eyes snapped open. "Wolves," I whispered. Jake tensed under me for the slightest bit, before beaming into a huge, bright smile.
"You remember!" he exclaimed happily.
"I remember," I smiled brightly before jumping back into his arms.
"Do you still want me?" he asked sadly.
I cradled his face between my hands and rested our foreheads against each other. "I don't think I could ever not want you Jake. You burst into a furry wolf at random times, who cares? I still love you," I declared.
"You really do love me?" he asked lowly. Silly boy.
"I really, really do," I smiled softly. He grinned at me happily.
"I love you too," he murmured before kissing me again. How did I survive without kissing him like this?
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I plunged my tongue inside his mouth and explored him. His fingers intertwined behind my back as he pulled me closer to his body. I had to get on my tippy-toes to be able to kiss him better. He had gotten much taller for his own good.
His lips were so warm. So soft. He nibbled on my lower lip and I couldn't help but give out a moan. I pushed myself closer to his touch and he just willingly obliged. "I love you," I murmured, "I love you." I pulled away and placed a butterfly kiss on his nose. "I love you," I breathed out once again.
"I never thought I'd ever hear you say that to me," I felt his smile on my skin. He buried his head in my hair and I sensed him sniffing my scent. I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed.
"Is that why you couldn't talk to me?" I finally asked.
"I was scared Bella. When you're a young wolf, you don't have a very good sense of control. If I was to get mad, even just the slightest bit, I could have hurt you. I could never live with myself if I ever hurt you physically," he replied through gritted teeth.
"I know that you would never hurt me Jacob," I assured him.
"That's the exact same thing Emily said to Sam. One day, he got mad and she was way too close. Now, he has to live with the fact that Emily is permanently scarred, and it's all because of him," I felt him clench his fist.
"Calm down," I soothed, taking his hands into my own. He relaxed under my touch and he muttered a thank you before kissing me on the forehead. "You see? You can't hurt me," I said softly, placing a kiss on his lips.
"You're so good with weird," he chuckled.
"When you're a danger magnet, that tends to happen," I joked lightly. He held me back into his arms.
"I still can't believe that you're actually here," he whispered.
"I'll always be here," I vowed.
He breathed out a sigh of relief. "Let's get you to sleep," he announced.
"Will you stay?" I asked hopefully. I saw the hesitance in his eyes. "You don't have to," I quickly contradicted.
"No, no. I'll stay," he smiled at me. I tucked myself in the bed and patted the spot next to me. "There's no way we're going to fit in that," he laughed.
"Guess we'll just have to hold onto each other for dear life?" I suggested with a grin.
"Guess so," he agreed, smiling.
He laid on the bed with me, making it a tight fit. Our position ended up with me curling into his warm body while his arms were kept at my waist, holding me tight. I sighed contently and buried my head against his chest. I felt him tracing patterns on the cuts that were on my left arm.
"Don't ever cut yourself again," he said in a stern voice. I felt shame pool in my stomach. I weakly nodded. Suddenly, I felt something warm and wet drop on my neck. Confused, I looked up to see Jake with trails of tears down his cheeks.
"What's wrong?" I asked softly as I wiped his tears away.
"God Bella, I can't believe that I'm the one that did this to you. I can never forgive myself," he replied through gritted teeth.
"Stop," I ordered him. "I was just being stupid, okay? This was not your fault," I contradicted him firmly.
"But – " I cut him off by placing my lips on his. His grip on my body got tighter.
"No buts. It's not your fault and that's the end of it," I interrupted.
"Okay," he replied, defeated.
"Good," I managed to give him a small smile.
"Can I do anything for the time we lost?" he asked hopefully.
"Just hold me," I whispered, before completely melting my body against his. I heard him let out a sigh, but he tightened his grip on me. He placed one last kiss on my forehead, before closing his eyes along with me. With his comforting warmth and love, I was able to sleep. Nightmare-free.
Charlie POV
Without needing an alarm clock, I automatically got out of bed at around three am. That was usually the time that Bella had her nightmares. Surprisingly, I still hadn't heard her scream one bit. Worried, I bounded over to her room and carefully opened the door. I felt my heart clench at the sight before me.
Bella and Jake were sleeping peacefully in each other's arms.
For the first time, Bella actually looked peaceful. Happy.
I was seriously going to do some damage to that boy, especially after what he made Bella go through. Seeing this, everything goes out the window. I can see that he's the only one that can save her now. He loves her. I can tell. She loves him too, but she's got to learn how to let go of that fucker first.
Keep holding on, Bella.
Jacob POV
In the middle of the night, I heard the door of Bella's bedroom squeak open. Crap. Charlie. I was shocked when I heard it close back up. There was no doubt that he saw us, but he let it go. Just like that? Bella may forgive me, but I would greatly appreciate it if Charlie yelled at me and made me feel horrible. As if I didn't already.
I can't believe that she started cutting herself. Depressed or not, she shouldn't damage her body like that. She's frail and fragile enough as it is. What hurts the most is that I was the one who caused her to do that. Jake, you fucking idiot!
I wanted to kill myself the moment my eyes landed on her scars. I saw that one of them was still fresh and I knew that she had just recently cut herself. She cut herself. Because of me.
I also wanted to beat the living shit out of the rest of the guys. I wouldn't have had to stay away from her if only they didn't order me to. True, I was mad that she knew about the bloodsuckers, but it was something that I knew would eventually blow over. Like Bella said, I could never hurt her physically, even if I tried. Okay, so maybe the scars were physical, but they weren't inflicted on by me.
Still holding her small body, I looked over to her and smiled. Her face was flushed red from the heat rolling off of my body and her hair was a matted mess. She looks beautiful.
As I continued staring at her face, I heard the howl of one of my pack brothers. I scowled but did not move from my spot. I don't think I could anyways. Bella had tightened her grip on me as if she heard the howl as well.
Well, you know what? Screw you guys! You're the reason I was ripped away from Bella in the first place. I'm staying here with her and you'll just have to deal with it.
The howl was not a cry for help, but it was a howl that meant they were searching for someone. Someone, meaning me. I shook my head and decided that I wasn't going to do crap. Let them search for me all night if they want to. I. Am. Not. Leaving.
Not again.
Even with my keen senses, I didn't hear someone approaching so I jumped slightly when someone knocked loudly on Bella's window. Seeing who it was, I groaned lowly and flipped him off before burying my head into Bella's hair. Hmmm, strawberries.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing Jake?" Paul asked angrily.
REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!
