Well, I just got this chapter up on Tumblr, so I might as well drop it here too before I decide to wait for too much longer!

The Raven of Dark Moon Death - Poor Fordsy indeed.

Northgalus2002 - Ma Pines' name of Cassandra actually is a fandom-made name that a lot of people on Tumblr use! I was just joining the bandwagon. ;) And it is likely that we will see her again, but she can't get directly involved in what the Pines are up to, unfortunately. It's likely that we'll just catch glimpses of her. And getting you to feel bad for Filbrick only makes Bill worse, yeah? That's kind of what I'm going for at this point.

And yeah. Everything that Ford stood for has fallen apart by this point. If he still had the power to fight back, he'd probably be a lot more vocal about trying to fight back than he is. *chuckles nervously* Yeah, the ending...that's a long way off. Finding fluff between chapter postings is a good thing to do at this point, though. I do it myself, even.

Anyway, here's the next chapter! No death in this one, but Cipher is definitely up to something...

Chapter 7 – Publicity Stunt

Ford wasn't sure how long he had been sitting in front of the Master's throne when He returned, laughing loud enough that he probably would have cringed from the sound if his ears hadn't been looking for it.

"HEY-O, FORDSY! I BROUGHT FEZ BACK! SEEMS HE WASN'T ABLE TO GET TOO FAR WITH THE WHOLE GOVERNMENT THING, BUT HEY! THEY'RE ALL COLLAPSED ANYWAY, SO WHO CARES?"

Ford opened his eyes and looked up as the Master placed Stan – now back in his original, familiar form – to his left in a kneeling position. While he was curious about what exactly had happened, he wasn't allowed to voice his questions, so he remained silent.

"I'M GONNA HAVE TO SEND NO HUMOR BACK, THOUGH – I CHECKED IN ON THE GUY AND MAN, DOES HE LOOK LIKE HE'S IN THE MOOD TO GET OTHER PEOPLE LAUGHING JUST LIKE HIM! HE'S GOT HIMSELF ALL DECKED OUT LIKE HE'S SOME KIND OF SUIT-WEARING CLOWN. I THINK THE PEOPLE'LL LIKE HIM!" The Master snapped his fingers, and a figure in a bright purple suit with green hair appeared in his hand.

Ford's eyes widened slightly when he realized that the cackling man in the Master's hand was, in fact, the other agent who had attempted to find the Master's weakness – Powers, he recalled. Was giving him a sense of humor really that detrimental to his mental health?

Stan winced next to him, but said nothing.

"TIME TO LET YOU LOOSE ON THE WORLD!" The Master snapped His fingers again, and Powers' cackling stopped abruptly, leaving the Fearamid strangely quiet compared to the noise level that Powers had been letting out. "OKAY. NOW, LET'S SEE – GOVERNMENT'S COLLAPSED, I'VE LIBERATED THIS WORLD AND IT'S STARTING TO SPREAD ACROSS THE UNIVERSE – THAT'S GOING TO TAKE SOME TIME; ANTI-MATTER'S GOING TO CAUSE SOME ISSUES…AND I THINK I'D LIKE TO SEE IF THERE'S ANYTHING THAT I CAN DO TO GET SOME PROPER FOLLOWERS AROUND HERE. ANY IDEAS, YOU TWO?"

"Television," Stan responded instantly.

Ford looked at his brother with some surprise at that.

"YOU MEAN THOSE LITTLE ELECTRONIC BOX THINGS?"

"Yes, Master." Stan's voice came out as a growl. "They're practically glued to 'em. Radio, too."

The Master hummed thoughtfully. "INTERESTING. PERHAPS YOU HUMANS HAVE SOMETHING THAT CAN BE USEFUL TO ME AFTER ALL. HOW DO WE GET THE MOST ATTENTION?"

"Press conference?" Stan shrugged. "It's what those government leeches did, at any rate."

"I LIKE IT!" The Master practically thrummed with approval. "YOU AND THE KIDS – FIND A WAY TO GET THEIR ATTENTION AND BRING AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN INTO ONE PLACE – RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FEARAMID. WHY NOT IN THAT STUPID TOWN WHERE IT ALL STARTED? AND MAKE SURE THEY BRING WHAT THEY NEED IN ORDER TO SPREAD THE NEWS ABOUT ME AS FAR AS POSSIBLE – I WANT TO SEE IF I CAN FIND SOME PROPER PARTIERS IN THIS DIMENSION!"

Ford and Stan bowed their heads. "Yes, Master."

Time Break

Finding the television studios was the easy part. Finding reporters and working cameras that could actually document the Master's "press conference"? That was a little more difficult, but they managed to find some hidden among the skeleton crews that were left behind to man the studios in California when everyone else had fled for what probably counted as shelter to them.

Actually getting them out to Gravity Falls required the entire family practically dragging the reporters and cameramen there themselves – literally, in Dipper's case, by making use of the vines that he was able to grow practically out of nowhere. Ford, Stan, and Mabel made use of threats instead, demonstrating their abilities on nearby objects – or people who had been hiding nearby, in Stan's case.

"Man, if the rest of the world is going to be hit as bad as this place was, I'm more than a little concerned about what that triangle guy has in mind," remarked the driver of the van Ford was sitting in.

Ford watched the red wasteland pass by outside impassively. The rest of the world certainly didn't look this bad yet – the road had stopped rather abruptly as soon as they had crossed over into the valley, along with the trees – but he knew that it was only a matter of time before the entire world reached that point, on account of the chaos that Bill brought with him.

The driver – a skinny young man who gave the deceiving impression that he couldn't lift twice his own weight – drummed his fingers against the wheel nervously. "W-we just need to get up to that pyramid thing up there, right?"

"Right." Ford's answer was short and terse. He eyed the van that was ahead of them, watching the greenery that seemed to be merging with the metal of the vehicle – an added effect of Dipper's powers pulling the van along ahead of them. He was the one leading their little caravan, and Stan was the one bringing up the rear – mostly because he'd be able to see if anyone tried to turn and flee.

Dipper ended up being the one who directed the caravan to come to a stop by reaching what used to be part of the town, if the ruins that were scattered around the area were of any indication of what it might have been.

The driver stopped the camera van as the other vans moved up to make a half-circle around the remains of a melted statue. He sat still for only a moment, looking more and more jittery by the second, before squeezing his eyes shut and forcing himself to get out of the driver's seat and into the wasteland that had once been Oregon woods.

Ford stepped wordlessly out of the van and moved to join Dipper, Mabel, and Stan as they got out of their respective vehicles and over to the melted base of the statue. His tail shifted and twisted in order to work out the kinks that had settled in during the drive.

Ford made a mental note that sitting down in a chair without some kind of hole in the back was going to be very uncomfortable for him in the future, then prepared himself to wait for the Master's inevitable appearance.

It didn't take the Master long to make himself known.

Ford watched the reporters' reactions as they finally activated their cameras and looked up, only to balk when a now-familiar presence came down from the Fearamid behind them.

"THIS IS ALL YOU COULD GET?" The Master sounded disapproving. "I WAS EXPECTING A LITTLE MORE THAN THIS."

"Well, most of us are trying to survive rather than continue our jobs," responded one of the reporters – a woman wearing a blouse and jeans, clearly not having been expecting to be dragged out of the studio for an interview with the dream demon. "What you see is what you get – I bet that New York doesn't even have their studios running anymore."

"HMPH. WELL THEN, THIS THING HAD BETTER BROADCAST ON EVERY ONE OF THOSE ELECTRIC BOXES FROM HERE TO THE ENDS OF THIS WORLD, BECAUSE I DON'T PLAN TO REPEAT MYSELF." The Master snapped his fingers, causing the satellite dishes on the tops of the vans to start glowing with an aura of blue, sparking energy. "I HOPE YOU MEATSACKS ARE READY, BECAUSE I DON'T PLAN ON REPEATING MYSELF TWICE!"

"A-ah…right." The reporter woman looked at the other people who had been assembled, meeting the eyes of various men and women as they gave her thumbs-up in response. Then she nodded and looked back up at the Master. "What exactly is your name, anyway? Your…servants were less than helpful in answering our questions on the way here."

Ford noticed her gaze go to him, and one of the cameras turned in their direction.

"I ONLY SENT THEM TO FIND YOU; I DIDN'T SEND THEM TO ANSWER QUESTIONS. AS FOR WHO I AM – I'M BILL CIPHER, YOUR NEW LORD AND MASTER FOR ALL ETERNITY! IT SHOULD BE EASY ENOUGH FOR YOU MEATBAGS TO GRASP."

The reporters and cameramen exchanged unnerved expressions at that.

"Ah…I see." A young male reporter in a suit – clearly, he had been expecting to go on camera, just not like this – cleared his throat. "We were told that you had a message you wanted spread? Is that right?"

"YES, THAT'S RIGHT!" The Master summoned his cane and twirled it around in one hand lazily, which at his presently monstrous size made it look like he was swinging around a tall, thin tree trunk, which only made the reporters more nervous. "YOU SEE, I'M DISAPPOINTED THAT THERE AREN'T VERY MANY OF YOU WHO ARE ACTUALLY FOLLOWING THE LEAD OF MY HENCHMANIACS AND PARTYING. PART OF THE REASON I CAME TO THIS DIMENSION WAS SO THAT I COULD LIBERATE THIS ONE OF ALL THE RULES YOU MEATSACKS HAD TO FOLLOW. YOU SHOULD BE CELEBRATING, NOT PANICKING LIKE THE ONE-LIFE-SPAN LOSERS YOU ARE."

"Our definition of 'partying' is a lot different from yours," the woman reporter spoke up again. "And it's a lot more tame in comparison. I doubt that you're going to be able to find anyone here who is going to join you."

"THAT'S YOUR OPINION! THERE'S PROBABLY A FEW MEMBERS OF YOUR SPECIES WHO WOULD BE MORE THAN WILLING TO SIDE WITH ME – IF THEY CAN MAKE IT HERE, THAT IS." The Master's eye crinkled up into a smile. "CONSIDER IT YOUR INITIATION TEST – MAKE YOUR WAY UP HERE TO MY FEARAMID AND FIND A WAY IN. WHOEVER GETS UP HERE AND SWEARS FEALTY TO ME IN FRONT OF ME OR ONE OF MY PUPPETS GETS TO JOIN THE HENCHMANIACS! I'LL EVEN LET YOU PICK YOUR OWN POWERS TO USE!"

The group exchanged looks again while Ford's mind turned over the offer that the Master was throwing out in the open. It was obvious that there had to be a catch to this – the Master wasn't one to just give something away so easily.

"What about them?" the male reporter pointed towards Ford and the others with his microphone. "Are they willing 'partygoers'?"

The Master burst out laughing. "NOPE! THEY'RE MY PUPPETS – WELL, FORDSY IS MORE OF A PET THAN A PUPPET, BUT WHO REALLY CARES ABOUT TERMINOLOGY LIKE THAT AT A PARTY, HUH?" He waved his cane around lazily. "YOU'LL SEE THEM AROUND HERE AND THERE IF I NEED ANYTHING ENTERTAINING. THEY'LL ONLY LISTEN TO ME, THOUGH, SO IF YOU TRY TO GET ANYTHING OUT OF THEM WITHOUT ME GIVING THEM PERMISSION, I CAN TELL YOU THAT IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!"

The Master moved out of Ford's line of sight for a moment, only to reappear again in his smaller form, hovering over his left shoulder. He put a hand on Ford's head – right between his ears – and started scratching in an almost absentminded manner.

The female reporter cleared her throat again. "Is there going to be any sort of catch to these super abilities that you're proposing to give to anyone who manages to reach you here?"

Ford's right ear twitched at the question, and the Master paused in his scratching.

"CATCH?" The Master chuckled. "YOU'LL ONLY HAVE TO BE A PART OF MY HENCHMANIACS FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY! TRY TO LEAVE THE PARTY AND DO ANYTHING TO REVERSE WHAT I'VE DONE, AND I'LL MAKE SURE THAT YOU PAY IN FULL FOR GOING AGAINST ME. I HAD A WHOLE TORTURE LINE-UP FOR FORDSY HERE UNTIL I PRESSED HIM INTO SERVICE – I COULD MOVE THAT TO WHOEVER DECIDES TO GO BACK ON THEIR DEAL WITH ME."

Ford's tail twitched at the Master's choice of wording. He was deliberately avoiding saying what exactly it was that he'd done – why? Was he going to keep the exact process a secret from others in case they intended to copy him?

"ANY OTHER POSSIBLY ANNOYING QUESTIONS FOR ME?" The Master sounded a tad annoyed himself. "BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU'RE DONE HERE."

The reporters exchanged looks at that, appearing uncertain at the Master's comment.

"One last question." The female reporter stepped forward. "If anyone were to join you to, say, discover if you had a weakness and if you could possibly be defeated—"

The Master burst out laughing. "WEAKNESS? LIKE THEY'D EVER BE ABLE TO FIND THAT! IT'D BE A REAL HOOT IF THEY TRIED, BUT I'VE ALREADY HAD PEOPLE ATTEMPT IT AND FAIL. SO IF YOU REALLY WANT TO TRY TO TAKE ME OUT, GO AHEAD – GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT! I COULD GO FOR SOME ENTERTAINMENT AROUND HERE, AND I'M SURE MY HENCHMANIACS WOULD, TOO! I DOUBT YOU'RE GOING TO BE AS GOOD AS THE FIRST ATTEMPT, THOUGH – I MEAN, A GIANT ROBOT THAT USED TO BE A HOUSE? HOW MANY OF YOU MEATSACKS ARE GOING TO BE ABLE TO TOP THAT, HUH?"

As the Master broke out into another round of laughter, Ford caught sight of something flashing in the eyes of one or two of the reporters and their cameramen. It took him a moment to remember what exact word best described the reaction he was seeing.

Determination.

Ford felt an aching twinge in his chest and pushed the word out of his mind quickly.

"WELL, I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE OVERSTAYING YOUR WELCOME." The Master's voice took on a more serious tone. "GO ON, GET OUT OF HERE – GO HIDE IF YOU WANT. SEE IF I CARE." He made a dismissive motion with the hand holding his cane – which had shrunk down with him – and went right back to scratching Ford's head.

It felt…strange, to have the Master petting him like one would a normal animal. But the Master had said that Ford was essentially a pet to him, so Ford came to the conclusion that it was probably something that he was going to have to get used to.

Still, he couldn't help but feel unnerved by the feeling that was bubbling up inside him, telling him to lean against the hand to get the fingers to go a little deeper, to relax and just let the Master continue to do what he was doing.

In the meantime, the reporters and cameramen they'd brought up from California were scrambling to pack up their equipment and move out of the area as quickly as they could, barking orders at each other to get moving before "the triangle eldritch abomination decides to get any ideas and kills us for not getting out of his sight fast enough."

As Ford felt his shoulders relax – his more animalistic instincts taking hold as the Master continued to scratch – he noticed that one of the cameramen kept looking rather calmly in their direction. He certainly didn't seem to be terrified by the possibility that he could be killed by the Master or any one of Ford's family, and there was something about the way that he threw his camera into the back of one of the vans that almost suggested he didn't really care for their present situation very much.

Ford learned why as everyone except for the cameraman – a young man who certainly had some visible muscle – walked towards them instead of climbing into the back of the van.

"Kevin, what do you think you're doing?!" barked the skinny driver that Ford had sat next to on the way up to Gravity Falls.

"I'm going to join them," the boy – Kevin, apparently – replied without looking back. His voice was unusually calm, considering who it was that he was moving towards. He stopped about a foot and a half in front of Ford and the Master before dropping down on one knee, bowing his head. "My life is yours."

Ford was horrified. This young man – probably only just having gotten out of college – was willing to turn his entire life over to the Master? If the boy had a proper head on his shoulders, he would have turned and run with his crew instead of doing this!

He kept these thoughts to himself, however, simply eyeing the young man as the Master stopped scratching Ford's head and looked at the human with an expression of minor interest. Ford was trapped in his fate – there was nothing he could do to possibly convince the young man in front of him to rethink his decision.

"WELL, THIS IS CERTAINLY AN INTERESTING TURN," the Master remarked. "I WASN'T EXPECTING A FOLLOWER SO SOON! SINCE MY PUPPETS BROUGHT YOU TO ME, I'LL LET THE FACT THAT YOU DIDN'T HUNT THIS PLACE DOWN ON YOUR OWN SLIDE. DON'T THINK THAT EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE THIS EASY, HOWEVER! YA GOT A POWER IN MIND?"

Kevin looked up at Bill with an almost bloodthirsty gaze in his eyes. "Control over lightning."

"NICE CHOICE! DON'T HAVE ONE OF THOSE YET – AND PYRONICA'S GONNA HAVE ANOTHER ELEMENTAL TO PLAY WITH." The Master's eye shone with pleasure, and he snapped his fingers.

A bolt of blue-purple lightning suddenly blasted down from above, striking Kevin in the head. He screamed as the energy coursed into his body, causing his appearance to change into something far more demonic and monstrous: horns and a long tail that were jagged like the very lightning he'd been struck with, light purple skin, and clawed hands and feet that tore Kevin's shoes apart.

The boy's scream turned into crazed laughter as the lightning faded, and he rose to his feet and looked himself over with an eager, fanged grin. "This is incredible."

"NOW, GO OUT AND SPREAD THE PARTY!" The Master declared. "AND IF ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS ASK, TELL 'EM TO COME UP HERE AND PAY ME A VISIT!"

"Yes, sir!" Kevin gave Bill a salute, then turned to look at the vans that he had originally come to Gravity Falls with, now driving down the road and into the distance as fast as they could possibly go. He crouched down for a moment then with a crackle of thunder that caused Ford and the others to flinch the human-turned-lightning demon leapt high into the air after the camera vans.

"NOW, SEE, THERE'S A MEATSACK WHO KNOWS HOW TO HAVE FUN." The Master chuckled. He snapped his fingers, warping the group inside the Fearamid and in front of his throne – Ford and Dipper to the right, and Stan and Mabel to the left. "I'LL LEAVE YOU HERE FOR A BIT. TAKE A NAP OR SOMETHING, AND LET ME KNOW IF ANYONE SHOWS UP SWEARING FEALTY TO ME!"

The Master disappeared again in a flash of blue energy, leaving his puppets kneeling in front of his throne in silence.

Well. Cipher's started a recruitment campaign. Can't say I expected that.

Next chapter's going to be going up (hopefully) sometime around Halloween. I've got it written, but I'd like to give my friend some time to beta-read it. She knows what's coming and she doesn't like it. And that's all I'm going to say on it.

See you next time!