Chapter 7: A Curse For Love's Duet
"No! Shadow! Wake up!" Christine's voice is soft at first, but as my brain begins to entire the conscious realm once more, her voice is amplified.
The moment I am finally capable of moving, I immediately fall back to the ground, disoriented. I can't seem to grasp what's real around me, everything feels lucid.
"Come on!" She yells at me, grabbing my wrist and dragging me up to the roof.
Raoul is attached at her hip, trying to persuade her that the Phantom is a myth. He believes none of it is real and that it's all been conjured up in her imagination. Christine and I, however, know the truth and she tries to convince him as I'm pulled along.
Once we made it to the roof, Christine finally let go of my arm and walked around with Raoul, as they continued back and forth with their talk of the Opera Ghost.
"Raoul, I've seen him! Can I ever forget that sight," are the only words that swim into my ears, before I block everything out because of the bitter cold.
I wish they'd have thought to bring me a blanket or cloak.
Within moments, Raoul begins to serenade Christine with a gentle, loving duet. They are each confessing how they feel about each other as I move around a bit to keep from freezing. As I listen to the couple entwined in love's duet, I remember when I was down underground with the Phantom and Christine. I recollected the moment of vulnerability that had overtaken him as she caressed his cheek.
The Phantom loved Christine with everything that he was. . .and it broke my heart to see that the feelings were obviously not reciprocated. Yet, a kindling flame of jealousy begins to spark at the idea that the Phantom is obsessed with Christine.
"No, Shadow! That's insane!" I immediately think to myself. "Why would you feel jealous!? He loves her and that should be a good thing! He definitely deserves her! He's so musically talented and brilliant; you should be happy for her!"
Before I can take more time to reflect on my conflicted emotions, I hear a voice.
His voice.
"Christine." When he whispers his voice sounds close, and I grow curious as to where he could possibly be hiding.
As Raoul and Christine continue wooing each other through song, I tip-toe around the roof, eagerly searching for the man clad in mask and cape. My tender heart begins to crack as when I turn and see Raoul passionately kissing Christine. Tears develop in my eyes as I think of how the Phantom will react upon seeing this.
He'll be crushed.
My body begins to tremble from the snowy temperature as my sympathy tears make their trek down my cheeks, and I turn my gaze to my feet as I shuffle along the roof.
Abruptly, a hand snatches my wrist and I'm pulled behind a statue, unable to be see Christine and Raoul anymore.
"What are you doing here?!" His voice was angry and harsh.
Those icy blue eyes were the same: darkness and anger burning throughout.
"Christine dragged me up here." I exhale, looking at the ground in an attempt to hide my tears.
Surely he'll find it ridiculous that I am crying for him. Or maybe worse, he'll be offended that I am sympathetic for him and will grow more irate than he already appears.
Despite my futile attempts to hide my face, a tender, gloved hand is soon under my chin, making me look up into his eyes. His thumb gently strokes away the tear that has escaped onto my cheek. Almost as though watching a fire get extinguished, I watch as his eyes soften considerably when he looks at me.
"What's wrong, Shadow?" This time his voice is gentle and concerned.
My body trembles at the sound of my name coming from his lips, but I shake all of my rogue emotions out of the way and turn. My legs try to make a run for it, but I've barely anything to keep me warm so they barely take one step before he has my wrist in his grasp once more.
He tenderly pivots me around to face him once more.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing." I reply coldly, before immediately regretting my snappy attitude, hoping I haven't made him feel bad or hurt his feelings.
Internally, I laughed at the idea that I might possibly be able to arouse any sort of pained emotion from the Phantom. Though I know he has them somewhere, I doubt that a young girl like myself can break through his thick skin.
"Please don't try and make me think otherwise. I can read your eyes, Shadow. What's wrong?" Almost as soon as he raises the question, Raoul and Christine have reached the loudest notes in their love song.
"Anywhere you go let me go too! Love me, that's all I ask of you." Reluctantly, I gaze up at the Phantom to see how he reacts.
I'm not surprised to see the clear look of agony in his eyes, but with the pain the fiery rage from earlier returns to his expression. I finally allow my tears to travel freely as my eyes follow his defeated footsteps in the snow.
He slowly, unwillingly bends low to gather up the rose he bestowed to Christine.
"I gave you my music, made your song take wing. And now, how you've repaid me, denied me and betrayed me. He was bound to love you, when he heard you sing. Christine. . ." Though his back is facing me, I can hear the crack in his voice as he stops singing. I observe the trembling of his shoulders, and it insights a few silent sobs to escape my throat.
As he has his moment of grief, I can't rein in my emotions, and I fall to my knees in the snow and allow the sobs to unleash. The idea that one person has endured a life alone and has to suffer through heartbreak, while I stand by helplessly not knowing what to do, is overwhelming.
Raoul and Christine's voices can be heard from inside the building, and it isn't until I hear how far away they are that I realize they've left me alone outside in the cold. Yet, my only focus now is on the Phantom's fist, crushing his precious rose.
The blood-red petals stain the snow with their color, before the Phantom sprints across the snow and hoists himself up onto the statue he pulled me behind earlier.
"YOU WILL CURSE THE DAY YOU DID NOT DO, ALL THAT THE PHANTOM ASKED OF YOU!" His vocal chords are strong despite the obvious strain on them from crying.
My mind debates on whether or not I should try to catch up with Raoul and Christine, but my feet stay planted firmly on the ground as my eyes take in the Phantom's descending figure.
I am a few feet away from him when he makes it back to the surface of the roof and looks at me, his eyes lacking any mirth.
"Is that what you were crying about?" He inquires in a breath.
My eyes fill once more as I look at the completely different man in front of me. His eyes no longer hold any luster, his shoulders are slumped in defeat, and his cheeks are stained with tears. I don't comprehend that I've begun crying again until I feel his arms pulling me closer to him, and I bury my face in his chest as I try to get a grip on myself. Though it doesn't appear that he is used to hugs – or physical contact in general – I decide that this is the closest I can get to helping him feel better. This thought allows me to calm down slightly.
"Child, there's no need to worry about me." He tries to reassure me.
But the words only send me into a short bout of acrimony.
Doesn't he realize that I merely desire to see him happy?!
"Don't tell me that!" I bellow, pulling back from his warm embrace.
He flinches away for a moment, astonished at my abrupt shift in moods.
"I can read your eyes too, you know! I can see the heartbreak, the despair, the feeling of hopelessness. I'm not blind, I can see it!" Having gotten that much off my chest, I begin to mellow out, my nose now running. "But I don't want to see it. I just want you to be happy. It truly hurts me to see you like—" A gentle, lingering kiss on my forehead stops my train of thought.
His eyes burn into mine as he seems to search for something inside mine.
And then he disappears in the blink of an eye.
As I try to recalculate my brain and figure out something more to say, his presence behind me suddenly sends an unexpected jolt of excitement down my spine.
"You need not worry about me, Little Phantom's Shadow. You are perceptive and I understand that you can see all of my conflicted emotions. I am sorry that you feel pain when you see it. So, I leave you with this," He pulls my body flush against his as he whispers, "When you rest your head on your pillow this night, allow your mind to wander. You may find yourself listening to the music of the night, and then you shall find peace." There is a brief pause before he utters, "Sleep well tonight, dear Shadow. May your dreams be pleasant and pure."
I stand in the icy temperature until I can no longer feel his presence, before I acknowledge my racing heartbeat and incapability of breathing normally. Everything I'd just experienced would have sent other people running and screaming in a fit of madness.
So, why did he have this effect on me?
