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I cried. And cried. And cried. Zooey was there for me the whole time. She didn't blame me, didn't judge me, just held me. She didn't even tell me I should have stayed and helped his mom. Nothing. Just comfort and support. And although this event scared the shit out of me, it also gave me confidence. Because I was one person closer to finding Owen. But I decided to be more careful with the feelings of the guys I was testing out. I didn't want another suicide on my mind. So I prepared for the next candidate.
On the day I was asking out Blake, I wore a hot pink micro-mini, a tube top, leggings, and chunky jewelry. I approached him after school.
"Hey, Blake, is it?" I asked, after sashaying over. Blake takes a break from talking with some friends to look at me. When he does, his eyes twinkle like Owens used to, and he smiles the same way.
"Hey...new girl?"
"Elizabeth."
"So Elizabeth, got any plans for later? Me and my friends were just gonna hit this cool party at this new club, you wanna come?"
"Is that a date?" I ask flirtatiously.
"Well, show up to find out." he says, winking. He is so much like Owen right now, I think as I strut away, not minding the breeze tugging at my skirt, showing off my lacy lingerie and long legs, not minding that my top was slipping a little, and a little proud that I could feel Blake's eyes on me the whole time.
"I think he's the one!" I practically scream when I see Zooey at the door. "But now that I think about it, I forgot to ask about the dress code of the club...I'll call to find out." But when I called, he said to wear something easy to change out of, because they give clothes there.
"It's just this thing they have, don't worry about it. And I feel I should tell you that the location of the club is new, but this group of people who go there have been together awhile."
"Doesn't matter, I make new friends real easy," I say flirtatiously. So I wear a baggy shirt over a really skimpy tank, that completely shows my pink bra, and I wear a flowing skirt on the bottom.
I meet him outside when I get there, and learn that when he said change, he meant everything. Shoes, underwear, everything. Okay then. And when they hand me what I'm supposed to wear, I know I'm really screwed. It's a long black dress, with a collar and long sleeves that go long past my hand, and with little rectangles along my arm of missing fabric. But, once you get passed my neck, the dress goes from black velvet to fishnetting, and stays that way until mid-thigh. Then it goes back to the black fabric, flowing down, with almost a train at the end. For underwear I have a clear bra with black lace straps, and a black thong. I have to wear white heels that must be at least ten inches. When I see this, I start backing away, but then I look at Blake, and he smiles, just like Owen.
"Don't worry about the outfit, it's just this thing we have. It's really dark in there anyways, no one will see you."
"What kind of a club is this?"
"It's more of a...a group of people, with similar beliefs...almost religious, except fun."
"So...like a cult?" I'm starting to worry.
"No, not a cult, it's only for teens, and it's fun!"
"I'll try it, but if I don't like it, I'm leaving." He should have told me you're not allowed to leave until the end of the ceremony.
I put on the outfit in the small curtained room that was provided for us. The outfit was even worse on, I felt practically naked in it, especially around the chest. But, I went out, hoping it would be dark. When I enter, I feel very out of place. Everyone else is wearing outfits more like something from rocky horror, nothing floorlength with long sleeves. And when I passed people, they all looked at me with respect. They all had long gloves on. The building had a glass roof, letting the moon shine through. But there was loud music, wild dancing, booze, and weed everywhere. When I tried to get a drink, they told me I have to wait until after the ceremony, although no one else looked like they had to. So I did some dancing, then found Blake and his friends. Blake did look pretty good in his outfit, thankfully no fishnet stockings, and black jeans instead of the underwear most were wearing. I guess he was higher up in the cult, so he could modify his outfit.
"Having fun?" he asks, loudly, to be heard over the music.
"Sort of, actually! This is pretty fun for a cult, and it is too dark to see. I wish I could have a drink though."
"Oh, well, you can, after the ceremony. The guest isn't supposed to drink."
"Guest?"
"Well, it's your first time here, the first timer is always the guest of honor. And it's almost midnight, so it's time for the ceremony."
"Ok, where do I go?"
"Come with me." He leads me to the side, and shows me a white stone bench with carvings on the side, glowing in the dark. There are dark stripes going down the side.
"Lie down." he commands, his voice no longer warm. I do so, suspiciously. Suddenly, many older teens, older than me, come in, and pick up the bench, carrying it to the center of the dance floor, right under the full moon. The dancing stops. And chanting begins. I don't know what they are saying, but I think it's in latin, and I understand the phrase "Deo gratias," meaning thanks be to God. I felt exposed, you could see me clearly in the moonlight, and I knew they could see everything in my outfit. Then I heard someone say sacrifice. I evaluated my situation, my position, my special outfit. Oh crap.
I tried to get up then, but they held me down, chained me down, going across my arms, over my chest, and then tying my legs down at the bottom. No chains on the netted part. I noticed that there were pins attaching the netting the the dress. It looked like the netting could be removed. Double crap. This cult doesn't seem fun anymore. Someone brings a table made of stone, and places it over me. They start a fire on it. Someone brings a knife, and then I realize what the rectangles of missing fabric are for. They cut me, three times in each arm, then once above my belly button. It feels like fire, they go deep, I'm screaming, and they're still chanting. They collect my blood in a basin, and poor some onto the fire, then pass around the rest to drink. Then Blake comes forward. He has my blood smeared on his face. He rips off my netting, and sets himself on top of me. I feel dizzy, and terrified, I'm going to be raped while I'm unconscious by a 13 year old, but then someone comes in screaming through the door.
to be continued...
Hope you enjoyed that, I know I got a bit carried away there :)
