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There
Peter couldn't believe how nice Mr. Stark was being. Well...he could. From the day he'd woken up in that hospital bed, Mr. Stark had been great. He'd gone out of his way to make Peter feel welcome at the Avengers Facility, even when Peter found it almost impossible to actually talk to anyone. Or do anything other than watch TV and do homework. Still, Mr. Stark had sat with him, watching whatever movie or show was playing on the TV in the living room. Once, Peter had told him sheepishly that he could change it, but Mr. Stark had waved it off, telling him in no uncertain terms that if he had wanted to watch something else, there were plenty of TVs to choose from.
And yeah, Mr. Stark had always been pretty good to him. He'd built him 2 suits and kept an eye on him and given him backup anytime Peter needed it and had invited him to his lab and made sure he ate...he was a nice guy and he'd been great to Peter. But this was different. Mr. Stark was acting...almost like a dad. Well, how Peter assumed a dad would act. Kind of like how Ben had acted. He was taking care of him.
Of course, as the days had gone by, Mr. Stark had started answering emails and taking phone calls during the movies and TV shows, but Peter didn't mind. He got it...Mr. Stark was very busy. That had never been a surprise to him. Honestly, it was more of a surprise that Mr. Stark had any time for him at all, especially with the stuff with the other Avengers and something else that he and Colonel Rhodes were whispering about sometimes. Peter didn't try to eavesdrop...he couldn't focus on his own problems, much less whatever Mr. Stark was stressed about.
Since waking up in the Avengers Facility, Peter had felt like everything was on mute. He was trying. So hard. He tried to make jokes like usual with Mr. Stark and have conversations with Colonel Rhodes and even interact with Vision. He tried to focus on homework and movies and having the occasional text conversation with Ned and MJ...but he couldn't sleep and he couldn't focus and everything felt wrong. Less vibrant. Dead. Like he should have died instead of his aunt. No...he already knew that. He knew that he should have died. He was Spider-Man! How had he not protected her?
He shut that thought down, leaning against the back of the seat, eyes closed, vaguely aware of Colonel Rhodes and Mr. Stark talking to Happy who had been waiting by the car. He was so tired...so exhausted. He couldn't remember his last full night's sleep. Then he remembered sitting on the railing, asking Mr. Stark if he was afraid he would jump What an idiotic thing to say! Mr. Stark had been so great and now he was probably worried. More worried. He'd known that Mr. Stark was worried about him for days. He didn't want to add to that.
He knew he needed to go back to school soon, but he didn't know how to bring it up or ask Mr. Stark how that was going to work...he couldn't figure any of it out. "You okay there, kid?" Colonel Rhodes asked him softly. Peter just shook his head, closing his eyes, and felt a hand on his forehead. He couldn't make himself lie...or even nod. His aunt was dead. May was dead. Gone. Forever. He'd failed her. It was his fault. He couldn't remember anything about that night...but it had to have been his fault. He should have saved her. Why didn't he save her?
The hand moved away, then squeezed his shoulder. It had to be Mr Stark...Colonel Rhodes was in the front seat. "We'll be home soon, buddy." Mr. Stark told him quietly. Peter reached up, wiping irritably at his eyes, but honestly, he barely had the energy. He'd slept some the night before, but every night it was the same. Metal crunching. Screaming. Tires squealing. His aunt, begging him to save her. Screaming for him. Screaming for Spider-Man. He swallowed hard, ignoring the hand that patted his knee. "We'll have some lunch, then you can lay down. What do you think, Pete?"
He tried to nod. He tried to play along. But the sob tore out of his throat, and he clasped his hand over his mouth, leaning forward and dropping his head against the seat in front of him. "Peter…" Mr. Stark murmured, and before this, Peter wouldn't have thought that he could sound that gentle. He put a hand on Peter's back, rubbing circles over his suit jacket. He couldn't stop. Couldn't stop sobbing, biting down on his hand to keep quiet. Then he felt a hand at his throat. He stiffened, but Mr. Stark was leaning forward too. "Hey, easy, kiddo. Just taking the tie off. It'll be easier to breathe."
Peter let him loosen the tie, then remove it altogether. "There. Better?" Peter nodded, still crying and feeling his cheeks heat up. He was sobbing in the back of a car with two superheroes. And Happy. He didn't know which was worse. He wanted to jump out of the car while it was still moving...and preferably land in front of another car.
A hand on his shoulder pulled him back, leaning him against Mr. Stark's side. He could only resist for a second...then he let himself slump against his mentor, face hidden in his neck as he sobbed. Mr. Stark shifted and the partition between the back seat and the front went up. He took a second to be grateful that Mr. Stark seemed to understand his embarrassment, but then he just felt miserable again. "It's my fault." He whimpered, clutching the man's suit jacket so tightly that he felt the fabric tear. "Shit. Sorry…" He let go, but Mr. Stark's hand covered his.
"It's okay. I don't care about this suit. And it's not your fault…"
"I should have saved her!" He pulled away then, gasping as the pain hit him anew...it was like everything was loud again...too loud. Like someone had turned the TV off mute and it was loud and bright and he didn't know how to deal with it. "Why didn't I save her!?"
"Peter, listen." His mentor murmured, hands on Peter's shoulders. "First, breathe." Peter did, sobbing a little, but trying to get it under control. "I'm not...I know I'm not the best at...this. But you can cry. It's...it's normal. It's probably healthy, hell if I know. But she was important to you, and you lost her and you are allowed to cry about that. For as long as you need to. And believe me, if you had been able to save her, you would have. I know that. You know that. The only reason you wouldn't have...is because you couldn't have. You threw yourself on top of her. You took the brunt of the impact. If you weren't Spider-Man, you'd be dead too."
Mr. Stark wouldn't lie to make him feel better. He knew that. But he didn't know how to believe this. How could he have not saved her? "The other driver was drunk. He ran a light and hit on the driver's side...he was going at least 80. Probably faster. Dr. Cho thinks you saw the headlights and threw yourself on top of her. But you could not have saved her."
"What...what happened. To him? The other driver?"
"He died on impact. Same as your aunt." Peter just nodded, dropping back against Mr. Stark's chest.
"I'm so tired." He admitted softly, feeling the world go back to mute. It stayed that way until they pulled back into the Avenger's Compound drive. Mr. Stark probably answered him, but he didn't have the energy to take it in, or even try to figure out what he was saying. Instead, he was silent until Happy opened their door and reached a hand in, pulling him out of the car. Mr. Stark jumped up, getting an arm around Peter's shoulders and supporting him as he led him into the building, into the elevator, then into the communal living area.
"Think you can eat something?" He asked. Peter just shook his head. "Okay. Go lay down for a bit, then we'll have lunch. Okay?"
Peter just nodded, stumbling into his room and managing to sleep for almost an hour before he started screaming, hands bunched in the covers, head thrown back. This was how Mr. Stark found him, waking him gently and pushing his hair back, hands carding through his hair. Dropping his head into the pillow he'd been sleeping on, he gave in and just sobbed, feeling Mr. Stark sit on the bed beside him.
"I can't do this," Peter whispered, trying to smother himself in his pillow. He couldn't...he didn't know how to cope with this. It was too much. Losing his parents had been...bad. Losing Uncle Ben had been painful. But this...it was worse. She was it. She was the last person he had. And he knew that Mr. Stark cared about him and was going to take care of him. But Aunt May was his family...the last member of his family. They were all gone.
"I know it feels that way, kiddo. Really...I do. After my parents...after they died…" He sighed, apparently struggling for words. "I know it feels like you can't...but...I'm right here. Okay? I'll be here."
It helped more than Peter had expected. Mr. Stark couldn't really fix this, and every single time he thought about May, he felt like there was a vice around his chest. He was so tired...so exhausted, but he couldn't sleep. And Mr. Stark couldn't do much about that. But the man was there. He was sitting on the bed with him, pushing his hair back and assuring him that he was there. That he wasn't leaving. It hurt, but at least he wasn't totally alone.
"Why don't you try to eat something?" Mr. Stark asked, his voice still soft. Peter didn't want to. Didn't want to keep living when his aunt couldn't. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that he got to get out of bed and go eat food and live in this fancy place when she was dead.
"It's not fair." He knew he sounded like a baby...only little kids whined about how things weren't fair. But Mr. Stark didn't laugh or make a witty comment. Instead, he reaching down and put a grounding hand on his shoulder.
"I know, buddy. Shit...I know. It's...it's not fair. And I know this is the last thing you wanna hear, but you've got to keep living. Which means you need to eat. You need more food than the rest of us, remember?"
"I don't want to...I don't feel good." The hand on his shoulder squeezed.
"May wouldn't want this." Mr. Stark's voice was still gentle, but firmer this time. Peter flinched, sniffing and forcing himself to keep it together. It worked for about five seconds before a tear dripped down the side of his face. "I didn't know her all that well. She wasn't overly fond of me, but I know that much."
"She did call you 'that rich asshole' once...but that was right after she found out…" Peter felt himself smile through his tears and Tony snorted.
"I've been called worse. Heck, I've been called worse by May. She yelled at me for almost an hour, you know? I thought that would be the end of your vigilante days…"
"But she didn't make me stop." He murmured, smiling just a little. Tony shook his head, speaking incredulously.
"She didn't make you stop." He chuckled a little. "Guess she figured you wouldn't. Was she wrong?" Peter managed another wet laugh.
"No. I wouldn't have stopped."
"Didn't think so." He was quiet for a second. "She loved you so much." Mr. Stark hesitated. "Did I ever tell you about my mom?"
Peter felt himself start, blinking in surprise at his mentor in the dim lights of the room, wondering at the subject change. "Um...not really...no."
"No...I haven't really talked about her at all...not for years. But she loved me. And...shit, I was a mess. A pompous, drunk mess." Peter blinked at him, bringing a hand up to wipe at his eyes. "And my dad...I never told him I loved him. Never heard him tell me he loved me. Didn't know he gave a shit about me until he was dead and I found an old video he made...I mean, sure, it was nice to hear it, but it would have been nicer if he'd told me while he was actually around." Peter watched in concern as Mr. Stark let out a long, sad sigh. "But my mom...she told me a lot. Every time she saw me." He was smiling a little, eyes far off before he returned to looking at Peter. "Her and May would have gotten along. They loved their kids. More than anything."
Peter wiped at his eyes again, sitting up a little and leaning against the wall. "I wasn't, though." He admitted in a whisper. "I wasn't even related to her. My uncle...he was my dad's brother, but May…" He stumbled over her name. "I wasn't hers.."
"You were her kid." Mr. Stark corrected gently. "And...you're my kid." Peter started a little, looking up at him in surprise. "I'm your guardian and you are my kid." He hesitated, then gave Peter a grin. "And I love you, kiddo. My old man, he was pretty smart, but he was a crappy father. I don't...I don't want to make that mistake. Okay? So...you're my kid. And I know this sucks and you're gonna miss May for a long time, but we're going to get through this. Promise. You're not going to be alone. Okay?"
Peter swallowed hard, feeling his eyes sting. "Thank you." He whispered, and Mr. Stark patted him on the shoulder, nodding awkwardly. It was almost funny...he'd never seen the man so emotional.
"Alright. Let's go have lunch. Helen gave me strict instructions to make sure you ate, and she scares me when she's angry."
"Doesn't she work for you?"
"Yeah. Try telling her that." Smiling, he reached out a hand and pulled him up and the two headed into the kitchen.
Peter still didn't have much of an appetite, but he sat at the kitchen island, nibbling at the sandwiches Rhodey had ordered. Peter wanted to thank the man, but he was nowhere around. When he asked Mr. Stark, the man put his own sandwich down. "He's in a meeting with Ross. Actually...I also need to be at that meeting."
"Oh...oh! Mr. Stark, you should go to your meeting! I mean, I don't want you…"
"Hey, easy kid. Breathe. You weren't keeping me from anything. If anything, you gave me an excuse not to go." He checked his watch. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be pretty busy for...well, the rest of the day. And tomorrow." He took another bite of his sandwich and Peter nodded.
"Yeah, of course. I mean..that's fine."
"My last meeting tomorrow should be over by 6, so we can get dinner or something. Sound good?"
"Yeah, definitely. I mean...if you want…"
"I want." He smiled at Peter, nodding toward the kid's sandwich. Sighing a little, he took a bite, feeling his stomach turn. "Still not feeling good?"
"Not really," Peter admitted softly.
"Alright, kiddo. You can wrap it up if you want. But, uh...before I go...there is one more thing."
"Yeah?"
"I got a call...well, Rhodey and I did. From Banner."
"Like...Bruce Banner! He's okay!?" Bruce Banner hadn't been seen for almost two years! Since before the Avengers had broken up!
Mr. Stark gave him a weak nod. "It seems like it. I don't know much...but he's coming back. With Thor. And Loki. And...well, a lot of other Asgardians. So...that's going to be keeping me pretty busy." Peter felt his mouth drop open, blinking rapidly as he tried to make sense of that.
"Thor...and...Loki?" He asked, his voice breaking a little. Mr. Stark didn't make a joke or even point it out...just nodded. "He's...he's bringing Loki here?"
"Yeah." Mr. Stark gave a weak laugh, not looking entirely amused. "I didn't get the whole story, but something happened to Asgard and they have nowhere else to go. But Thor assured me that his brother could be trusted, which I don't believe for a second, but I'm dedicated to not worrying about that until they land."
Peter nodded a few times, trying to take that in. It didn't really work. May was gone. He lived with Mr. Stark now. That was about all his brain was willing to take in at the moment. That, and he wanted to sleep for more tahn a few hours without nightmares. "Do...I mean...do you want me to...stay somewhere else or…"
"No." Mr. Stark shook his head, his voice firm. "No, Pete. This is your home now, okay? I'll be busy but you still live here. Besides, don't you want to meet the rest of the Avengers?" Peter tried to smile, but he was just too tired. "Kid?"
"Um...yeah. I just... " He brought a hand up, running it over his face and blinking at the table.
"Here." He blinked in surprise when a bottle of water was pushed in front of him. "Drink this." Mr. Stark ordered. Peter did as he asked, taking a drink, then another until the water was gone. A hand was pressed to his forehead, and for a second it reminded him so much of May that it hurt. "C'mon, Pete." Mr. Sark urged, getting an arm around him and helping him to his feet, then leading him to his bedroom.
Peter realized he still hadn't really looked around the room much. He couldn't bring himself to. Instead, he let Mr. Stark lead him to the bed where he collapsed. His mentor...guardian pulled the blankets up around his shoulders and ruffled his hair. "You need some sleep, kiddo. I've got to go but just ask FRIDAY if you need anything. Or text me. These meetings are really boring, so you'd be doing me a favor." Peter smiled weakly, eyes already closing. "I'll be home around 10." He ruffled his hair one last time, then squeezed his shoulder. Peter was asleep before Mr. Stark had even released his shoulder.
Thank you for reading :)
