Okay, this is not the continuation to my AU story. Editing turned into adding and I don't want to post it until it is completely ready. But I also didn't want to leave these one shots sitting so here is this one!
It is about Elizabeth's reaction to Robert's relationship with Lady Douglas Sheffield. I believe I read that she looked a bit like Katherine Howard (Douglas' maiden name was Howard!). I take that to mean she was either petite and curvy or a redhead with dark eyes. There are way too many redheads in the Elizabethan court so I made her blonde with blue eyes! I imagined her as the actress Margot Robbie if you want a visual. Alright...enough talking!
A Fragile Line
Her eyes scanned the crowd until she saw it. The bouncing blonde curls adorned with pearls. The blazing red dress. The wide flirtatious smile.
Elizabeth gripped onto the arm of her chair at the sight of her. Just who did Douglas Sheffield think she was? She looked as if she was having a little too much fun. Did anyone believe that mask of virtue she put on during the day? Elizabeth sure didn't. She knew very well that she unveiled herself at night and she knew just who unmasked her.
Her eyes didn't have to drift far from Lady Douglas to find him. She would recognize his tall frame and the proud tilt of his head anywhere. All of that belonged to her not Lady Douglas. She might be thinking he was hers at this very moment, but Elizabeth was sure she would never have his heart. She knew that to be true.
But the painful constriction of her own heart made her think otherwise. Why did she feel that pang of jealousy whenever she saw her? She wanted to tear that stupid smile right off of her face and burn that vulgar red dress.
Elizabeth's rage was strong enough for two. It wasn't only Lady Douglas that she wished to crush. She also wanted to hurt the man that accompanied her in her wicked deeds. If Robert thought he could get away with this kind of behavior, he was certainly wrong.
The worst part is that he thinks I don't know.
She motioned for him to come over when he caught her eye. There was something animalistic about the way he strode towards her. Under that sophisticated exterior was a passionate interior that she longed to fully experience for herself. She wondered what it was like to be beneath him, his eyes blazing with a desire that only she could satisfy. What would it be like to succumb to that kind of pleasure? To be one like God seemed to have intended them to be?
He knelt before her and kissed her hand. It was a familiar gesture, but she always felt something different when it was performed by Robert. The feel of his lips against her hand made a light, warm feeling rush up her arm to her chest.
"Dance with me now, Robin." she whispered. Her words were laced with a tinge of venom and sensuality.
"Play a Volta!" she called with a flourish of her hand.
It was Lady Douglas' turn to stare. It was her turn to be jealous.
Watch and see who really owns his heart.
She had never wanted to possess him more than she did at this moment. Her skin tingled from his touch. They were so close now. All she had to do was press her lips to his and they would be one.
If we were alone, the things I would do...
Love and hate mixed in her breast and she was unsure of which emotion was the strongest. From which did the desire to run her nails down his back spring from? How long could the tension build until it was uncontrollable?
Just as the feeling was becoming unbearable, the music faded away. All she was left with was a burning sensation from where his hands had been.
Elizabeth usually enjoyed seeing Robert on his knees. There was something about his complete submission that made her pulse race with desire. But now her desire was replaced with anger.
"Is the baby yours?" her voice shook with rage. Not only did Lady Douglas have him in her bed, but now she had his own flesh and blood as well?
"Elizabeth, I..."
"Yes or no?" She didn't want to hear his excuses. She wanted to hear the truth. Her entire body was shaking with barely suppressed rage. Did he think flowery words would appease her?
He dropped his dark eyes. She had her answer.
"No, no, no!" Pacing the room, she knocked over whatever she encountered. She wanted everything in the room to be broken.
Just as broken as my heart.
"You thought I would not find out, didn't you? You thought you could do what you pleased without suffering the consequences! I must remind you that you answer to me. I have the power to utterly ruin you."
"Bess..."
The sound of his voice made her pause. She didn't want to ask the next question that arose on her lips, but the pain in her heart forced her to speak.
"Do you love her?"
Every second without his answer made her chest tighten until she had to lash out even more.
"Did you tell her you would marry her? Did you whisper lovely things in her ear? Did you tell her she was the only one for you? Speak!"
"I haven't the words to tell you how I truly feel." he replied slowly.
"What is that suppose to mean?"
He finally stood up and began to move towards her. His face was so close to hers that she could feel his warm breath. Whenever he was close to her, she felt all of her resistance melt away. It took so much effort to build it up and so little to tear it down. Why did she have to feel this way about him? There were some who thought she was incapable of functioning as a natural woman should and some who thought she wasn't a woman at all. She knew all too well that she was.
Tell me you don't love her.
"I only love you." His eyes never left hers as he said the words.
My Eyes.
Those eyes had always looked out for her and had always told her the truth.
She pressed her lips fiercely to his. She wanted to taste the words his lips spoke. He responded with the same urgency and soon his hands were exploring her body. Her mind cursed her burdensome clothing, the hoops and layers upon layers that prevented her from being even closer to him.
Always destined to be so close and yet so far.
Sensibility started to slip away and she knew she was close to coming completely undone. She wanted to press her hips against his, to know what his skin felt like upon her own. She wanted to know what he truly felt like, just this once. If only she could be another woman for a moment. If only she could be a lowly servant that could afford this one indulgence. If only his son could be hers. Why must she deny herself what even the lowliest in her kingdom could have?
Because you are a Queen.
The words rang in her ears until she gathered the strength to tear her lips from his.
"I can't."
She was a Queen and she had promised herself to England. She was bound to different rules.
His haughty dark eyes flashed in anger at her refusal.
"You are the cruelest mistress, Bess. Do you delight in taking my affections and playing with them?"
In another life I would be yours and you would be mine.
The look on his face was more than wounded pride. It looked like she had taken out his heart, broken it right before him, and then made him pick up the pieces. He truly wanted her. She could give him titles, money, and a few stolen embraces, but never all of her.
She saw in him everything she wanted, but a Queen could not have everything she desired. It seemed if she showed too much emotion, she was deemed ill fit to be a Queen and if she showed no emotion, she wasn't a human at all. How could she ever explain to him this fragile line she had to walk?
She closed her eyes tightly, hoping that if she didn't see it, it didn't exist. Everything hurt and she could do nothing about it. Nothing but wish it gone.
In another life I would give you everything. My heart. My body. My soul.
But even a Queen couldn't control matters of the heart. Why must she want what she could not have? It was the worst curse imaginable.
"Please go."
Elizabeth bit her lip to stop from crying out as she watched him leave. The look on his face would haunt her for the rest of her nights.
The tension she had been carrying suddenly gave way to weakness. Her knees buckled and she dropped to the floor.
I must always let you go.
