Chapter 7: Rising Up

Hope you're ready for some fluff.

Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer and Summit. I'm just playing with Edward while he's asleep and vulnerable. I'll give him back later. No copyright infringement intended.

The story of the thief on the cross belongs to anyone who wishes to receive it. Luke 23:32-43

Thanks to 2old2care, whose chat with me about the last chapter inspired me so much for this one. Love you, Boston. This one's for you.

Thanks to a few special reviewers, who also got my mind busy: just me reading, VallieValVal, cullenlover2, favludo and jeasterl. Props and love always go to bookishqua for the many discussions we've had about Bella and Edward's psyches.

And I'm not forgetting Sister emmadtf2, and Vampdaughter Carrie, who always delight me with their pm's.

This chapter's highly appropos playlist pieces belong to their respective owners, and can be found on my channel at youtubedotcom/jmollytwilight/

'Surround Me' by Ben Taylor (Edward sort of wakes up)

'Yellow', by Coldplay, with quotes from Twilight (Edward sleepwalks)

'He Sleeps: Love theme from Pretty Woman', by James Newton Howard

'Pieces', by Red (Explaining things)

Tell me what you think of Ben Taylor. He's the son of James Taylor and Carly Simon. Talk about a talented gene pool.

You'd have had this chappie sooner, were it not for a plumbing catastrophe at our house today. But, I made it through. And no, I won't keep you hanging for the update long. LOL

I'm pleased to relay an important message from my friend, musician Tc Rockett: "I want to let all my awesome youtube friends know that I have started a download site for my songs to benefit childhood cancer research through Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation wwwdotalexslemonadedotorg which is the ongoing charity for TwilightMomsdotcom. Feels great to share the inspiration for a worthy cause! :)

"There are several high quality download formats to choose from that will sound much better than yt vids and streamed Mp3's and also great options for sharing the tracks for download with your other friends and Twilight fans. I hope you will check it out! :)

"Here's the link and I will be adding more songs as I get them ready...
http://tcrockettdotbandcampdotcom (proceeds here will be donated through the TwilightMoms lemonade stand site.)

"Also here is the link for my stand where 'Be Safe' can be downloaded for free for a donation:
wwwdotalexslemonadedotorf/stands/205529"

Please support Alex's Lemonade Stand, and Tc Rockett, who is a wonderful singer-songwriter.

Kindly give Napward two minutes of your time, and review.

Love surround me with all your reach
Now while we're here alone
Now our bodies are ocean and beach
Blessings of waves and stones

Floating a lonely sound
You found me
And now that the tide is finally down
Surround me
Surround me
Surround me

And love move for me
Roll beneath the sky
Shadows and silver cross your face
Pools a moonlit night

Weak from standing on sandy ground
You found me
And now that I'm finally falling down
Surround me
Surround me
Surround me

Love surround me while you can
Till these waves grow cold
I've gone too deep, I cannot stand
I burned before I froze

Running to save my life
And leaving you
And now in the heat of this dreadful dry
I'm needing you
Surround me
Surround me

Surround me
Surround me
Surround me

Monday, August 16, 2005

Bella's pov:

We slept under the stars, with the sound of the ocean creating a soothing lullaby, exhausted, but peaceful. Early in the morning, Edward shuddered and shifted. Then, he raised his head to gaze into my eyes.

"Angel?" he asked softly.

"Yes, love?"

"Why are we outside? I'm cold."

I did a double take. Cold? Edward?! "Love, do you want to go home? Go back to bed?"

"Home. Cozy, cozy bed. More sleep." He sighed and lay his head back down on my chest with a 'thunk'. Probably gave me another bruise.

I realized that he was still out of it. Huh. Carlisle had said it would be a short sleep. According to the clock on the phone, we'd slept six hours. That didn't sound like a nap to me. The sun had been up nearly an hour already.

I tried to sit, but my mate, being all lean muscle, was pinning me firmly to the ground. "Can you get up, Beautiful?"

"Up. Okay. Up, yes."

"Okaaay." I wiggled out of the sleeping bag. "Now dearest, we need to walk that way. Can you do that for me?"

"That way. Uh-huh. Rise. Take up your bed and walk."

"Yes, dear." I took his hand, but flipped on the phone with my other one. It picked up on the first ring.

"Carlisle?'

"Yes, daughter. How's it going?"

"He's um, walking with me, but he isn't awake. Sleepwalking, I guess. The lights are on, but there's nobody home. He told me he's cold and he wants to go home to bed."

"Well, that's rare, but not unheard of. Has he been asleep all this time?"

"Yes, he just sat up and started talking to me."

"He's fine. Don't wake him, it could prove dangerous. Take him home, jolly him along and put him to bed. He may or may not wake up while you're doing it. I guess he really needed that nap, child. You okay?"

"Yeah. I slept, too. It's a little ... surreal. I feel okay. I was thinking about something last night."

"What's that, lovey?"

"If the phone hadn't failed, I wouldn't have figured out a bunch of stuff. In a weird way, I'm glad the phone didn't work. I'm glad I got to put myself in his shoes. I got to hear all his troubles. I understand him a lot better now."

"God works in mysterious ways, Bella. Everything happens for a reason. So, are you going to put us all in the chipper-shredder when you get home?"

I smiled a little. "Too messy. I understand that it was kind of an accident. That if the phone had not malfunctioned, none of the melodrama would have happened. That nobody meant any harm. But I'm still mad we weren't forewarned."

"Yes, it was wrong. None of us thought it through properly. Sometimes, we don't think like humans, lovey. We sometimes miss seeing possible consequences of our actions. Even Alice makes mistakes."

"I know. I don't expect you to be perfect. I'm just glad you all called me in time."

"Providence, kiddo. But we were all terrified for a while, there. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Don't consider it again."

"Yes, sir..."

My mate interrupted. "Angel?"

"Yes Edward?"

"You don't smell so hot."

"Sorry love."

"I don't smell so hot either."

"We'll bathe later, okay? Sleep first."

"Uh-huh."

"Carlisle?"

"Yes daughter?"

"If I didn't know better, I'd say he was dazzled. Or maybe high."

"It will pass when he's done his nap. Might take a little while. He might do odd things, Bella. I'm not kidding when I say this sleepwalking is rare. I researched this when I lived with the Volturi."

"Huh. My mate said he looked in their online archive and didn't find anything about it."

"They took the information away from every public source about 400 years ago. Too many males were acting out, trying to force a nap. A surge in the number of Incubi was attracting notice."

"We're home." I opened the door and squeaked in surprise when Edward lifted me up. He carried me over the threshold again and set me down. I giggled a little. At least that perfect memory of his was still rattling up details.

I started to pull Edward toward the blue room, but he veered off course toward the kitchen. Oh, no.

Suddenly, he leaped backward and plastered himself against the back of the front door, eyes black with fright. "What do I smell?" he demanded. My terror and vomit. But I wasn't about to share that.

"Hush, love. It's alright. Bella was a little bit sick earlier, that's all. I'll fix it. But you need to go to bed." I tugged at him. He turned to me warily and stood up straight.

"It's okay, I promise. Come on."

Edward took my hand again, and allowed me to lead him past the kitchen, down the hall toward the Blue Bedroom.

I pulled back the covers and tucked him in. His eyes shut immediately. I raced back toward the kitchen, intent on cleaning up, when someone knocked on the door.

I gasped. "Oh, shit! Carlisle? The caretakers are here! What do I do?" I ran in the kitchen, threw the knife in the sink, grabbed the towel covered in sick, and threw it in the garbage. I noticed the land line still sitting open on the counter and hung up the receiver hurriedly.

"Wing it. Try to keep him away from them. Tell them he's sick."

The decision of whether or not to open the door was taken out of my hands. They were letting themselves in, bringing a box of supplies in with them. I stood in the sun-room, frozen, as they entered. Then, they noticed me.

"Bonita Bella!" Gustavo smiled, jabbering cheerfully at me in Portuguese. I couldn't catch a word of it, except 'Kaure'. She came forward, beaming, to shake hands with me. She was an attractive middle-aged woman, small and strong-looking, maybe fifty, with long, thick braids laced with silver.

"Pleased to meet you," I said, attempting to smile.

There was more jabbering, which sounded cheerful, and then I caught the word, 'Edouardo'. Oh, where was Edward, they wanted to know.

"He's sleeping," I said, miming it. "He's sick."

Gustavo looked at me narrowly. "Sick?"

"Sim. He's better than he was last night. I'm sure he'll be fine by tomorrow."

" We clean, okay?"

"Sim. Obrigado."

"Okay, Bonita Bella."

"I'm ... I'm just ... going to check on him, okay?"

"Sim."

I raced for the bedroom and whipped open the door. Edward was behind it, wandering out. I pushed on his chest, trying to hold him back. I might as well have been trying to stop a Mac Truck. "Edward, where are you going?"

"To use the washroom."

Huh?!

"Sweetheart, we have company. You can't walk around naked."

"I'm naked?"

"Yes, love."

"That's not appropriate."

"No, it's not. So, back to bed."

"But I have to go badly," he insisted. Crap.

"Wait! Here, put on your robe."

"Okay." Edward shrugged into his robe, and drifted across the hallway. He stood in front of the john like he really was going to use it. I gawped at him.

"I can't go with you watching," he stated.

I shook myself. "Oh, sorry!" I said. I walked out of the room and leaned against the shut door.

"Carlisle? Did you hear that?"

"Yes. He's pretty funny."

"He can't seriously go, can he?"

"No. Of course not."

The door opened, I caught my balance, and Edward came out, looking confused. "I can't go. I hope I'm not sick," he fretted.

"You've been a bit ill," I improvised. "Come and rest, and I'm sure you'll be all better when you wake up."

"I had the weirdest dream," he mused, unmoving.

"What about?"

"I dreamed I was a vampire. And I liked to feed on mountain lions."

"Really."

"Yeah. Weird, eh?"

"Sure, sure."

Edward set off toward the kitchen. "Wait!" I yelped. "Where are you going?!" I tugged on him ineffectually. He stopped and looked at me like I was the one who was nuts.

"I'm hungry." he stated. Oh, shit.

Edward marched into the kitchen. Kaure and Gustavo were done cleaning it. Sounded like they had moved on to the White Room.

"Carlisle, Edward is getting food out of the fridge and threatening to eat it. Oh, my Gosh! He just put raw meat in his mouth. He's eating it. Oh, my Gosh!"

"Bella, it won't hurt him. He won't be happy later, but it's nothing to worry about."

I turned away and hissed into the phone. "Carlisle! My husband is eating stewing beef like it's popcorn and I have two innocent humans in the next room."

"Get him back to bed, child."

"Edward? I, uh, think you should lie down. Bring your snack with you, you can eat it in bed."

Edward looked at me, and popped another drippy chunk of beef in his mouth. He chewed it and swallowed. "I am tired," he admitted, licking his thumb. "Will you bring me some tea?"

"Sure, anything. Just go back to bed, okay?"

"'Kay. Thanks, Angel."

"Uh, no problem." Edward drifted back toward the Blue Room and closed the door just as Gustavo and Kaure came back into the sun-room. I headed for the cupboards. So my vampire husband wanted tea. Better humour him before he emerged and did anything rash. Like eat the Help.

I took the kettle from the back of the counter and inspected it. Totally spotless. I filled it with water and set it to boil, got a couple of mugs down, and searched for tea. There was a canister of loose tea in the dry goods cupboard. The teapot was on the top shelf. I looked around for a tea ball. Perhaps they drank it loose, here.

Gustavo came up behind me and I jumped.

"Sorry Bonita," he grinned. "All clean."

"Thank you, uh, obrigado, Gustavo. Want some tea?" I held out a mug.

"Sim. Obrigado."

I took down two more mugs. The water was boiling. I dithered about spooning loose tea into the mugs. Gustavo seemed to understand. He reached into a drawer and fetched out a tea ball.

"Obrigado."

"Açúcar por favor? "

"Um, I don't ... Açúcar?" I shrugged.

Gustavo mimed putting sugar in his tea.

"Oh, açúcar. Okay." I reached the sugar bin off the back of the counter and passed it to him. I opened the snack cupboard and got out the muffins, offering them around and stuffing one in my mouth.

"Obrigado, bonita."

Kaure joined us and opened the fridge. "Bella? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." She pointed, and I saw that there were several new plastic containers of prepared meals inside. Please God, don't let her notice the stewing meat's missing.

"Oh, obrigado. That's very kind of you."

"Não foi nada." Kaure shut the fridge door. Whew.

I had almost forgotten Carlisle on the other end of the phone. "Excuse me," I said to my guests, pointing at the phone.

"Carlisle?"

"Still here, Bella."

"Sorry to leave you dangling. I think we're okay for a bit. Edward wants some tea, and I'm giving some to the caretakers. But what am I supposed to pay them?"

"You aren't. We take care of all their needs. Their pay is direct deposited to their account."

"Oh, okay. Thanks. They seem very nice."

"Yes, they are."

"Well, I'll call you back later, when your son has had his tea."

"Shame you don't have a video camera. He's never going to believe he said and did these things."

"Won't he remember?"

"Might, might not. Anyway, you'd better give him his tea before he comes out to get it."

"Okay. Thanks a lot."

"Anytime, child. Bye."

"Bye."

Gustavo and Kaure were finished having their tea. They got up from the table and shook hands with me. Then, they gathered their supplies and I saw them to the door.

"Até logo, bonita Bella," Gustavo said, waggling his fingers.

" Até logo, Gustavo, Kaure."

They walked down the path to the cove, and a few minutes later, I heard the motor of a small boat sputter into life.

As soon as they were gone, I went to the kitchen and poured tea for Edward. I hurried to the bedroom.

"Hi Angel," he said. The little meat container was sitting empty on the bedside table.

"Hi Beautiful. Here's your tea. I'm going to hop in the shower, okay?"

"Do you want company?" he flirted. Great. He'd probably break all my bones if he so much as hugged me.

"Uh... you should really sleep, Beautiful. We can bathe together later."

I had just turned Edward Cullen down for sex. Something was wrong with the order of the universe.

"Okay." He sipped his tea. I waited for the grimace. It didn't come. I bent over and felt his forehead. Nope, still cooler than me. I felt for a pulse. Nope, no pulse. He hadn't converted to human in the middle of his nap. He was just really screwed up.

"You're still sick. Sleep now." I liberated his mug from his fingers.

"Okay." Edward lay down obediently and I tucked him in.

"Anything else you need?" I asked. I didn't want him wandering around while I was gone.

"Nope. Thank you, Angel."

"Okay. Now you get some rest."

"Yes, okay." He was already drifting off. I backed into the bathroom and took the fastest shower in history.

When I emerged, he was sound asleep again. I crept to his closet, stole his favourite grey t-shirt and put it on. Returning to the Blue Room, I crawled silently in beside him and cuddled up. I was still exhausted. This nap thing was really keeping the human mate jumping. And here she'd threatened to keep her vampire husband on his toes.

He wriggled closer and sighed against my neck. Some turnabout, me holding him while he slept. I decided vampire naps were definitely worth having, even if my mate did smell a little of raw meat at the moment. I kissed his eyes and he moaned a little in his sleep. I shut my eyes, thankful that Esme had designed this room to shut out the brightness outside. The walls were painted to look like denim, and the bedding was midnight blue with matching curtains. Very soothing.

Five hours later, Edward twitched, waking me. I stroked his face. He blinked blearily at me for a second, and then his arms and legs flailed out and he fell off the bed, dragging the sheets with him. Moro reflex, I realized. He was just like the infant who startled, in the film we watched so long ago, the time the coach forced us to take home those fake babies.

I got on my hands and knees and peered over the edge, down at him. He lay on the floor in shock, all tangled up in sheets with sex hair. Delectable.

"Well, good afternoon, Beautiful. Did you have a nice nap?"

Edward sat up a little, running a hand through the tangles, looking confused.

"Bella? Tell me what's real, please."

"My lover, you took a nap."

"So you said. But what's real? What am I"

"I'm sorry my love, it must be very disorientating. You are a vampire, and you have been one a long time. And, normally, you don't sleep. But when you napped, you attempted to go back to some very human behaviour, not with much success. How's your stomach?"

"Not so good. Did I eat something I shouldn't have?"

"Raw stewing beef and a mug of tea."

"Holy cow." The hand passed through the hair again. "How long ago did I eat?"

"About six and a half hours."

"Crap. That's going to taste awful coming up. Will you excuse me while I, uh ..."

"Go ahead, dear. We'll talk when you're more comfortable."

Edward headed for the bathroom and I headed for the kitchen. I peeked in the fridge at Kaure's offerings. Hmm. There were some meat pie pockets that looked pretty tasty. I looked over the instructions on the label. Heat and cooking duration were written on it. Hopefully, the food was meant to go in the oven. I turned it on, fetched a pan out of the bottom drawer, and bunged in the food.

Edward had opted for a shower. I went back to the Blue Room, stripped the bed and confiscated his robe. I figured he wouldn't like the smell. Not that I could smell anything, of course.

I wandered around the house, looking for a washing machine.

The front door opens directly onto the sun-room. It's laid out in a large square. There is cream-coloured, water-resistant furniture and a light-coloured hardwood floor. The kitchen stands at the back of the sun-room, opposite the front door. It has a white tile floor and white cupboards, and black marble counter-tops.

Standing and looking to the left, there is a hallway past the kitchen. On the left side of the hallway is the Blue Room. Opposite it: the two-piece washroom.

Standing inside the door, looking to the right, is the White Room, with its 2 closets, and en suite washroom. Behind the next door down, I discovered a home movie den. The walls were blue with a long, suede, caramel-coloured couch and a large entertainment unit, TV and speakers. One wall was completely covered in DVDs and videotapes.

Opposite the den, backing onto the kitchen, I discovered the laundry room. It was nearly as fancy as the Cullen's garage back home. It had cupboards and racks and an ironing centre and first rate appliances, and it was painted sunshine yellow. In it was a back door out of the house. I returned to the Blue Room, gathered the wash, and got a load started.

The oven timer dinged, so I returned to the kitchen and got my lunch. By the time I was happily sitting down at the table, Edward was padding softly into the kitchen, fully dressed. Feeling a little vulnerable, I surmised. He pulled up his chair, looking at me a little uncertainly.

"What time is it?" he wondered.

"Almost 3:30pm. How are you feeling?" I asked cautiously, biting my meat turnover. It was savoury, not spicy. Very nice.

"Um," the hand passed through his hair, which was dark and glossy with dampness. He looked so different when it was flat. Less exotic. More modern. He looked younger.

"Strange. Peaceful. Less ... heavy."

"You had quite the night," I laughed.

"So I gather. It's all jumbled up. I'm confused."

I put my hands out on the table, palms up, but after bringing his hands toward mine in response, Edward stopped and clenched his fists on the table instead. I pulled them toward me, with his compliance, and stroked them until he released the tension. I allowed him to rest them palm-down on the table, knowing he was afraid to squeeze my hands too hard if he held them. I rested my hands on top of his, admiring the narrow backs and slender fingers. Musician's hands.

"What happened to me?" he murmured.

"You're fine. Don't be worried. It was only the nap Jasper's been teasing you about. I had a long talk with Carlisle. And I've also given most of your family a real piece of my mind."

"You were afraid. I can smell it under the bleach."

"Well, your bratty family kept us totally in the dark, so when you konked out, and did a remarkable imitation of a corpse, I got a little freaked out. But the family and I have had our little discussion and everything's settled now. They're all truly sorry for trying to prank us, and they won't do anything like it again. They don't always realize what frightens me, you know. And they don't always think things through. Never thought it might backfire. Bit impulsive when it comes to pranks, aren't they?"

"Only a bit?" my mate smirked. Well, a smile. That was an improvement. I could do this. "But I'll believe they've quit pranking us when I see it."

"Carlisle swore on the Bible not to let anything like it happen again."

"Carlisle doesn't swear oaths."

"He did this time, so I think we can have faith in the promise. Jasper encouraged the pranksters, and Carlisle didn't put a stop to it. But they were both devastated to have upset me. They couldn't reach me, you see. Your cell phone malfunctioned. I couldn't reach anyone at first."

"Oh, in the name of all that's holy. You must have been so frightened. That's why you're using your best bedside manner on me now. You were frantic."

"Yes, but it's all better now. So no fussing. But I wouldn't be averse to playing a trick on Jasper when he's not expecting it."

"I'll keep that in mind. Now, would you care to stop pussyfooting around and tell me what's been going on?"

"Vampire males can take naps. At least, the dedicated spouses can. The ones who feel guilty for their misdeeds. So, it's a fairly rare thing. And information about it used to be widely available, until some naughty fellows got carried away and started proliferating Incubus legends. That's why you couldn't find any information on it."

He nodded. "Keep going."

"The way Carlisle explained it to me, it seems that your body's cells have a memory. When you are distressed, the hormones produced sit in your cells and your body can't clear them. Then, when you produce a glut of endorphins-"

"-like on a honeymoon-" he interjected,

"-your body's chemicals have a little war. When it starts, all your functions shut down. Your body shut down for over two hours. And you were totally unresponsive during that time."

"During which time you left me on the beach and ran back here, traumatized," he stated.

"Yes, but I got a hold of Alice and Jasper and Em and Carlisle and I talked through it all with them. And Esme helped me get provisions and stuff so I could take care of you, and Carlisle told me what to expect."

"Then I shall forebear from flying home and murdering them all this instant," my mate growled magnanimously.

"Please do. They all feel guilty enough to earn naps of their own. Anyhow, back to the story. What do you remember from that point?"

"I remember reliving my vampire life. But this time my angel was with me, helping me through the unbearable parts," he shrugged.

"Your angel?"

Edward smiled a little. "When I was a kid, just a little kid, I started talking to my angel. My mother said I had a guardian angel. When I got older, I stopped interacting with her, like most kids do. I guess I didn't recognize a need for her. Anyway, while I was going through the ... torment of reliving things I can't forget, this time, she held my hand and comforted me." He played with my fingers, smiling softly. "Hey, wait! It was you, wasn't it?"

"Yes, Beautiful. I was there the whole time." The cheerful look gradually dissolved into dread.

"Then you know everything I've done. Everything about me. You know what I am," he lamented. He brought his golden eyes warily to mine. It was a look I knew well.

"Oh, now don't you start that!" I chuckled. "There will be no running away screaming today. Not from me, anyhow." He was biting his lip.

"You remember it all. Every detail."

"Yes."

"And you regret the harm you've done."

"Very much," he confirmed.

"So God in His mercy let you sleep it off."

"Explain, please."

"The purpose of naps is to clear the stress hormones from your body, enabling you to stop dwelling on things that you've repented for. Are you ... feeling attacked by your ghosts?"

"No. No, they've let me be. They're ..."

"Powerless?" I suggested.

"Maybe not powerless, but definitely subdued."

"Yes. That's what naps do. They give you an opportunity to repent and atone."

"How does one atone for 742 murders, Bella? The first of which was a very godly man."

"Don't get uppity, Edward."

He looked at me, surprised. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Do you remember the story of the thief on the cross next to Jesus?"

"Of course. What's that got to do with anything?"

"He repented, but he didn't have the chance to atone before he died. What did Jesus say to him?"

"He said the man would surely be with him in Heaven before the day was through, and not to be afraid."

"So I think you're uppity if you think you're beyond the reach of God."

"That guy wasn't a vampire, Bella."

"And do you honestly see Carlisle burning in Hell just because something wicked bit him?"

"He's more worried about ending up there for polluting all of us. I think playing God is a pretty big sin, Bella, one with which I'm well familiar."

"Do you think God should have let Carlisle live alone forever?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I'm not God."

"So God's in charge, Edward?"

"Yeah. At least, He should be. We try to let Him run the show."

"Think maybe He might have thought you needed a partner in life, to help you get through it, so you can serve Him?"

"Yeah, otherwise you wouldn't be sitting here, having this discussion with me."

"So maybe God loves you after all, like you love Him."

"Maybe," he conceded.

"And maybe He wants you to move on from the past, and concentrate on serving Him."

"Maybe."

"Which means letting go of your guilt, that weighs you down, and allowing yourself to experience some joy. And now that you've let go of some stress, you have the opportunity."

"Well, that would make me a pretty lucky guy."

"You're a great guy, sweetie, and God loves you."

"I hope so, Bella."

"I know so. Now, what else do you remember? Can you remember walking back here with me?"

"I remember waking up and feeling cold, hungry and tired."

"Yes, you were really out of it. Kaure and Gustavo were here, and I was afraid you'd do something rash. But you obeyed all my orders, dearest. For once, you did exactly what you were told," I teased.

"Kaure and Gustavo? How did you manage?"

"Well, you told me you had to use the bathroom, and I coaxed you that wearing a robe would be prudent with guests around. You went to the bathroom without much success, and then you went to the kitchen and started eating raw meat."

Edward gawped at me, "No way."

"Yes way. I don't think I've ever seen you so human. You just walked around like everything was normal."

"I could swear you told me it was popcorn. When I choked it up I couldn't tell what it was. All the blood absorbed into my system, you know? And the tannins in the tea didn't help. The rest doesn't digest, because I don't have acid in my stomach. It just rots. Regurgitating it was rather ... unpleasant."

"I'll bet."

"Then what?"

"Well, I managed to keep you out of their sight while they cleaned the house and sat down for tea and muffins."

"Lucky I didn't attack them. Then what did I do?" he asked curiously.

"Well, you asked me for a mug of tea, which you drank without batting an eyelash, and then you flirted with me about bathing together. I turned you down, sorry. I didn't want to test your control."

"I'm glad you did. And then?"

"Then, I convinced you that you were ill, and that you needed more rest, and I tucked you in. You went straight back to sleep. As soon as I could manage it, I had a shower and brushed my teeth, and we've had a nice sleep together ever since."

"How long did I .... sleep?"

"You passed out around 4pm yesterday, and I had my panic attack at 5pm. I ran back to the house, and I barely got in the door when the land line rang and then I talked to Alice. I thought she was lying to me about you being asleep, and she put me on with Jazz. He passed me over to Carlisle, and then I talked to Esme. She set me up with new cell phones, and I took my supplies and went back to you at about 6:30. You had changed positions, but you still looked pretty awful."

"Define 'awful'," my husband demanded, staring into my eyes. He was holding his lips in a thin line.

"Well, for the first phase, you didn't move, breathe or respond. Your temperature dropped drastically and eventually, the fluids under your skin went livid. And your eyes were open, and you were limp."

"And you thought I was dead."

"You are entirely too perceptive for your own good. Yes, I did."

"And you ran home to do something impulsive, and were prevented by my moronic family." He was biting his lip again now.

"Edward, I totally understand now why you went to Italy."

"Going to Italy was a mistake, and you coming back here to do yourself a harm was also a mistake. Can we have a pact, not to do anything else drastic?"

"Yes, it's a pact."

"Good. What happened next?"

"Well, you rolled onto your side, and looked quite peaceful. Soon after, REM started and ... well, it was ... upsetting. Watching you suffer with your regrets."

"And you know all my sins. What must you think of me now." His eyes creased with pain.

"Love! My Beautiful One. You are wonderful, and I love you more than ever. You changed your whole life. You choose, every day, to be good. To be above your baser instincts. You are an example worth following. And Edward? I feel closer to you, knowing how you suffered. And I understand why it always bothered you when I praised you for being perfect."

"You're not joshing me, are you?" His eyes flickered to mine, worriedly.

"No, Beautiful. I'm perfectly serious."

Edward took my hands up in his and kissed them, breathing in my scent. Then, he froze. "Bella! Your scent!"

"Oh, I had a shower, but maybe you can still smell my adrenaline?"

"No. That's not what I mean. You don't ... you don't smell the same to me." He looked at me, wide-eyed.

I was sinking. Didn't I appeal to him anymore? "What do you mean? Do I not ... sing to you?"

"It's not that. You still smell amazing. You totally attract me. But ... there's something different. Ah! I know! You don't ... you don't ... smell like... food."

"What?" I asked, overwhelmed.

"You don't smell like food," he insisted, sniffing up and down my arm. "You smell like ... you smell like ... Oh, God! Do you feel okay? Do you feel abnormal at all?"

"No. I'm fine. I feel well-rested and everything's good."

Edward patted my hand, regarding me seriously. "Bella... You smell like ... me."

"Like you?"

"Like a vampire. Yes."

Author snickers evilly. Review.