7. In which preparations are made

I've been thinking a lot lately about the direction my life is going. It's mostly my fault, I knew that much all along... but what if, what if maybe I'm right in the middle of some awful unlucky spell and it's not ALL my fault. Maybe it's written in the stars somewhere that I have to be miserable before I get the chance to be really, really happy.

Somehow I really thought that being back here would be a lot worse than this. All the memories built up inside my head, spilling out into my stomach and making me fear anything and everything to do with this place. I'm starting to think that maybe it isn't this place I hate so much. Maybe it's just all the bad things that happened to me, the ones I need to find some way to forget.

It's days like this that I wish she was still around.

It's days like this that I miss him the most.

I've decided that it's time I stopped feeling sorry for myself. It's time for me to go out and find something good, something for me. And I'm promising myself that whatever I find tonight, I won't ruin. Not this time.

It's so hard to change, so hard to forget the past. But I need to try. I don't belong in that god awful boarding school, the place I spent the last three years of my life. I certainly don't belong here. Yet. Maybe this is it, the place I was meant to really call home. Either way, I'm determined to find that place. Home.

Craig stood before the mirror in Joey's big bathroom. He finished buttoning his jeans and looked up at himself, examining his bare torso and freshly shaven face. He had done well, only nicked himself once and already it was finished bleeding. He really didn't have much to take off in the way of facial hair, but just the act of it made him feel more attractive. He ran his fingers through his loose brown curls and allowed them to fall where they wished, giving him a damp halo. When he was dry from the shower his curls would be shiny and long, as it had been over a month since his last trim.

Satisfied with what he saw he reached out and pulled his black tee shirt over his head carefully and grabbed a few drops of Joey's cologne before flipping off the light and heading down the stairs. When he reached the bottom he found Jimmy and Spinner sitting on his couch playing a video game and Angela showing Marco a picture she had drawn. When he appeared she launched herself across the room and happily into his arms. He grinned at her and tickled her mercilessly before setting her down and moving over to put on his shoes. She giggled and plopped down on the stair next to him. Jimmy and Spinner looked up from their game.

"Dude, you're in a pretty good mood." Spinner said.

"Yeah man, I haven't seen you like this in weeks." Jimmy added before quickly returning his attention to the game he was now losing. Craig shrugged.

"You guys get mad at me for being in a bad mood, and now that I'm in a great mood you're still complaining!" he cried, with a teasing in his voice they had all missed. Marco smiled at him.

"It's just good to have you back, Craig, that's all." He told him, watching as Craig gathered up his house keys and a small box of mints which he slipped into his pocket. Angela giggled again and Craig turned to her.

"What are you laughing at, Munchkin?" he asked, tickling her again.

"You smell like daddy!" she cried out breathlessly, and Craig immediately stopped tickling her. He turned his gaze to Spinner, Jimmy, and Marco who were all seated on the couch. They had stopped playing the game and looked at him now.

"Dude, that's really weird." Spinner told him, and the four started laughing hysterically. After a moment tears were running down their faces and Jimmy had slid off the couch and onto the floor. Joey entered then, responding to the loud noise.

"What's so funny you guys?" he asked, wiping his hands on a dish towel. The four slowly stopped laughing and prepared to vacate the room.

"Nothing Joey. We're going to head out." Craig replied, picking his leather jacket up off the rack and slipping it over his slender shoulders.

"Okay, you guys have fun. And be careful. Craig, I don't want you coming home TOO late, understand?" he called after them, watching as Craig filed out the door behind Marco and Spinner.

"Back before the sun rises, got it Joey!" he called after his shoulder, already in a race with Spinner for shotgun in Jimmy's car. Joey watched as Craig and his friends departed, feeling a lightness in his heart he hadn't felt in some time. He hoped it meant something good was going to happen.


At 6 o'clock exactly Ryan's Cadillac pulled up in front of the Kerwin residence. Hillary grabbed her bag and kissed her brother's cheek before bounding up the stone walkway. She turned to wave as he pulled away into the chilly twilight before turning and locating the doorbell. She rang once and was about to press the button again when the door swung open to reveal a short boy with thick glasses. He stared at her for a moment before turning and walking away, leaving the door open.

"Just great, Ash has a new freaky friend." She heard him mutter as he shuffled back into the kitchen where Hillary could hear the voice of another adolescent male. She watched him go with a mix of confusion and annoyance as she stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind her. She was just slipping off her chucks and lining them up next to the twin pairs of black boots when she heard Ashley's voice calling down the stairs.

"Hill, is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me." Hillary called back, retrieving her bag and beginning to climb the stairs. When she reached the top she turned left and wandered into Ashley's recently painted room. She could still smell the paint and saw where some of the black had dripped and stained the carpet. Hillary looked around for a moment before turning her attention to Ellie and Ashley who sat in front of Ashley's sharpie marked mirror, black eyeliner in hand. HIM poured out of the stereo at top volume and Hillary smiled at how much she loved their Finnish metal love songs.

Ellie used her hand to indicate that Hillary should take a place in front of the mirror. Hillary did as she was told, dropping her things near the door and crossing to sit beside them. She watched as Ashley carefully lined her eyes with a thick black line, attaching a tiny curl at each corner to give herself cat eyes. She then handed the stick off to Ellie who did the same but left off the cat marks. The stick was then passed to Hillary who gave her own wide eyes a thin rim of black before passing it back down the line.

"That's a... uh... strange doorman you've got there." Hillary said, shaking her head at the offer of a tube of dark lipstick that had already made its way down the line.

"Doorman?" Ashley asked, rubbing her lips together and reaching for mascara. "Oh, you must mean Toby. He's my half brother, and kind of a creep. He and JT are doing some sort of stupid zombie movie marathon tonight."

Hillary silently thought how that actually sounded really fun and added a hint of blush and a light gloss on her lips. When they had finished Ellie's makeup was the darkest, Hillary's the lightest. Hillary sprayed herself lightly with a lily of the valley scented perfume and Ashley wound a thick leather bracelet around her wrist. Once Ellie had retrieved her borrowed earring from under Ashley's bed the three were ready to go. The night was beckoning.