That Smile
By Teary Loser
Disclaimer: Characters and all that do not belong to me, but to J.K. Rowling – credit to her.
Note: Yup, it's back. I missed the reviews and writing, so here it is. It would probably take me longer to update, but yes, I will continue.
Chapter 1: Mistakes
James sat in the Gryffindor Table, with a bowl of cereal sitting in front of him.
"Hey, Prongs," Remus sat across from him, "Nervous?"
James nodded, "My parents would kill me if I don't pass my N.E.W.T.S."
"It's okay; I know you're going to do really well, alright?" Remus said, having a bite of toast.
Sirius joined them, along with Peter, who looks very pale in the face.
"He's nervous about the N.E.W.T.S." Sirius explained.
"Aren't you?" James asked.
Sirius just shrugged, "Nobody cares if I pass or not. Besides, I think I'm going to do alright, and if I don't," he shrugged again, "tough."
Peter shook slightly as he raised his spoon to his mouth, he chewed the cornflakes slowly, and then swallowed, "My mother wants me to do really good," he said, "But what if you want a job that doesn't care what your grades were?"
"There aren't any jobs that don't care," Sirius said, "Only if you want to be a Death Eater or something." He snorted, "I can't imagine anyone wanting to work for Voldemort, well, besides the Slytherins, that's what they were all born for."
"Not all Death Eaters are from Slytherin," Remus said, "It doesn't matter what house you're in. But once you're a Death Eater, you're a Death Eater for life."
Peter whimpered, the other three looked at him.
"It's just…" Peter squeaked, "It's scary."
"That's what Voldemort is all about," Sirius said, "Doesn't care about what people think, if you stand in his way, you're a goner."
"Let's not talk about this, yeah? It's the weekend; let's not ruin it by worrying about N.E.W.T.S. and Death Eaters." Remus said.
Sirius nodded and turned to James, "So, where did Lily go?"
"Library, looking through her Astronomy notes for Monday," James replied, "I think I'd join her, I'll see you three later."
"See you, mate." Sirius said.
James took hold of his bag and put it on one shoulder and walked to the doors. On his way to the library, he met Chris Hector.
"Hey, James," Chris said, "Good game last Saturday, you're a good captain."
"You are too," James said, giving him a small smile, "thanks."
Chris shrugged, "Don't worry about it, good luck for the next game with Slytherin, I've always knew you'll win the cup. See you around, James."
"Yeah, okay. Bye then." James said.
Madam Pince looked at him as he walked through the library, still not trusting him after returning a library book with a page filled with games of Noughts and Crosses in fourth year. He ignored her stares as he sat down next to Lily, giving her a small kiss on the cheek.
"Hey," Lily said, looking up from the book she was skimming through.
"Hi," he replied, putting his bag down.
"I'm just worried about Astronomy tomorrow," Lily said.
"You'll do great, Lily," James said, "You're one of the smartest in our year; you're going to be fine."
Lily sighed, "I can't take this anymore," she closed the book and pushed it away, she looked at him, "Let's go outside."
The sky outside was cloudless and the air stood still. Lily and James sat next to the lake. Lily watched him and smiled, "I love how you care so much."
James looked at her, "What do you mean?"
"You care so much about your friends, and everything you believe in." She put her head on his shoulder and he held her close. "You make me feel so safe, and protected, there's nowhere else I'd rather be than here."
He kissed her in the forehead, and ran his fingers through her hair.
Bailey walked past with her friends, "See? They've fallen for each other, like everyone knew they always would."
Sirius and Tammie looked out the window of the Common Room, watching them.
"I have a feeling Prongs will be alright," Sirius said, sitting back down, "he's got his entire world."
"Do you have yours, Sirius?" Tammie asked.
Sirius shook his head, "I've wasted time."
Tammie sat down, "You've got loads of time," she said, "you know, when it works, love is pretty amazing."
He looked at her, and watched her read through her notes, and he had a sudden feeling of infatuation towards her. He wasn't familiar with this feeling, but James had described it to him a million times before. It felt like everything stopped and the noise suddenly went on mute.
She looked at him, "Uh, Sirius? Are you okay?"
He blinked, "Yeah," his voice seemed higher than usual, "I have to go." He got up and left.
Remus and Peter were walking back from the Great Hall when they saw Sirius walking down the staircases with a fast pace. Remus took hold of his shoulders.
"Hey, Padfoot," he said, "What's happened?"
Sirius shook his head frantically, "I couldn't control it – I… she… I can't feel like this!"
"What are you talking about?" Remus asked.
"It's Tammie," Sirius explained quietly, he turned them around, away from the Common Room; "she made me feel different."
Peter looked at him with a confused look on his face, "What do you mean different?"
Sirius shrugged, "There was this moment, when I felt weird and… nervous."
Remus looked at him for a moment before he said, "Aha," he smirked, "are you trying to tell me, that you have feelings for Tammie?"
Sirius surveyed his feet, thought, and then slowly nodded his head, "Is that supposed to feel like?"
Remus
just shrugged, "What are you going to do?"
"I'm not going
to do anything," Sirius said, "am I supposed to?"
Remus rolled his eyes, "You idiot," and walked to the Common Room.
"Just tell me how to handle this, Moony!" Sirius yelled after him, and turned to Peter, "What does he expect me to do? Tell her my feelings?" he snorted.
That night, Lily and James lay on the grass; James looked at her and grinned. He finally had her; she was with him. The grin slowly disappeared, how did he know this was going to last forever? Maybe one day, this was all going to end. "I love you," he whispered.
Lily's eyes slowly went from the stars to his; she gave him a small smile, "Prove it."
James thought, "I love you more than I can show you, you just have to trust me," he took hold of her hand.
Her hand in his calmed her, it was so warm, and there was a way he held her, that made her want for this to last forever. She nodded, "How long do you want us to last?"
He looked at her, "Honestly, I'd like us to last forever."
She smiled and held onto his hand tighter, "Forever sounds like a plan."
His stomach did a big flip, his heart beating faster and faster. There was an awkward silence, he kissed her on the forehead, which soon enough, travelled to her lips.
Sirius paced the empty Common Room, with Peter's eyes moving left to right, watching him eagerly. "Hmmm…" Sirius thought, "I have to do something, I can't sit here and do nothing…"
Peter continued to stare at him; he jumped when Tammie walked in.
"You haven't seen Lily, have you?" she asked both of them, they both shook their heads, "She's probably with James, what are you two up to?"
"Nothing," Sirius said, "We're doing nothing."
"Good," Tammie said, sitting herself down, "I've been thinking about asking you what happened this morning, you've sort of been avoiding me."
Sirius looked at her, "I wasn't avoiding you. I was just…"
"Avoiding me?" Tammie said, "Look, Sirius; I don't know what I did to make you angry at me, but I'm really sorry, okay?"
He stared at her, Peter walked to the dormitory. The awkwardness was a little too much for him.
"You didn't make me angry," he said, sitting next to her, "It's just… you make me… scared."
Tammie looked at him, "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Forget it," Sirius said, standing up, "I'm pretty tired; I think I'll get to bed."
Tammie watched him walk up to his dormitory, with a frown suddenly on her face.
Lily sat on the foot of Tammie's bed a few minutes later, with Tammie next to her. Lily put her arm around her best friend, "Do he say anything else?"
Tammie shook her head, "He said he was tired so he went up to bed," she said, "what am going to do, Lily? I have a thing for Sirius Black."
Lily patted her on the shoulder, "You just have to tell him," she said, "maybe he feels the same way."
"How can he possibly feel the same way?" Tammie asked, "All he's been doing was running away from me. I mean, do I have a deadly disease or something?" she frowned, "he said I scared him. What was that all about?"
Lily sighed, while Tammie leaned on her shoulder, "I don't know," she said, "maybe you should sleep on it, we'll talk about it more tomorrow, okay?"
Tammie
nodded, "Thanks, Lils."
Lily smiled, "Sweat dreams, Tammie."
-
Sirius walked into the Great Hall, spotting Tammie sitting by herself eating breakfast. He sighed, he thought of waking up early to have some breakfast alone, without Tammie asking him what's been happening to him.
Tammie watched her cereal swim around her bowl; she turned to her right, and saw Sirius standing there. He spotted her looking at him and turned around and went for the door. Tammie looked at her bowl again; it took her a few moments before she could stand up and run after him. She caught him running up the marble staircase, "Sirius!"
He stopped, and turned, "What?"
She stood in front of him, "What did I do?"
He stared at her, "You didn't do anything," he said, and continued to walk up the stairs.
Tammie went after him, "Can't you just stop walking away from me?"
He continued to walk, "I don't know why you care so much about what I do," he said, "I don't know why you're always so nice to me."
"Maybe it's because I know you, Sirius," Tammie said, "I know how you hate having no one to talk to, how you hate staying at one place, and when you really, really want something, you won't stop until you get it. You won't give up."
Sirius halted, and stood quiet still.
"Why are you giving up on yourself, Sirius?" Tammie asked.
"It's because…" he didn't face her, he stopped.
Tammie walked to stand in front of him, "Can't you just tell me what you really feel?"
He shook his head, and proceeded to the Common Room.
-
For the next two weeks, Sirius has been avoiding Tammie as much as he could, he had no idea why. Tammie decided to give up on him completely, knowing that she couldn't get anything out of Sirius Black. The exams did pretty well, but it made them feel sleepier sooner than usual. Peter and Sirius wouldn't stop bugging Remus to help them, or, cheat off him, but Remus didn't budge, he knew both of them could do it on their own. But it didn't work much; instead, they went off to bug James.
Tammie and Lily did their studying in the Heads Common Room, where Tammie would usually rant about how she hated Sirius and how stupid he was. But despite what her best friend was saying, Lily knew Tammie felt the complete opposite.
"You're so lucky to have someone like James," Tammie said, putting her quill down, "I hate myself for liking Sirius. I ignored all of the warning signs, and had my heart broken all over again. It was just one big mistake."
Lily rubbed her on the back, "It's never a mistake to care for someone, Tammie."
A few minutes later, Sirius watched Tammie enter the common room up to her dormitory, not looking at anyone. Sirius turned back to his friends, "It was a huge mistake to do what I did," he said, "I shouldn't of done that to her."
Peter bit his fingernails, Remus looked up from the book he was reading and James stopped looking through his Quidditch plans.
"I don't think she's never going to forgive me," Sirius said.
"I think she would," James said, "all you need to do is tell her what you feel. That's all she wants."
