Rating: And here we enter the realm of, I'm gonna say, PG-13. ;)
A/N: I'd like to take a second to thank every one of you that has favourited this story or left kudos, or a comment, or inboxed me privately over at or tumblr. I'm not all that good with words when it comes to conveying feelings, but if I were going to try then I'd say something like "you've made me feel like any human would feel when faced with a smiling Chloe Beale. All warm and glowy and important and shit." It really means so, so much to me that people are reading anything I write and taking the time to actually express their enjoyment of it in some way. It's just a really awesome feeling. So, yeah. Thank you.
Chloe doesn't believe that she thinks about sex any more or less than anyone else. With the exception of maybe Stacie and the very old, very catholic lady that lives next to her parents back home, she thinks people are probably all fairly evenly balanced, with one of two dips to the extreme every now and then.
She likes sex. Enjoys it. And she doesn't just mean sex as in the act of it, but everything that's included in the lead up. The kissing, touching, licking. With the right person it can be fun and moving and mind-blowing. It isn't as if she sleeps with every guy who gives her libido a little kick though – not that there's anything wrong with doing that, Chloe is all very 'woman power' when it comes to that stuff – despite what people might have said about her in the past.
Beca had probably thought she was some kind of sex maniac when Chloe had barged into her shower, naked as the day she was born, talking about her lady jam and demanding that the startled brunette sing it for her. She remembers Beca's, rightfully justified, horror and outrage and the how that had inexplicably melted away as their voices intermingled. She smiles whenever she thinks about that; it's definitely one of her favourite stories to tell.
"Hey, Beca?" Chloe glances up when she hears the captain's name and spies Emily approaching the couch on which Beca is sitting. Her legs are crossed beneath her, hair gathered into a messy bun near the top of crown, and she's wearing a curiously intrigued expression. The older brunette tilts her head back until she catches Emily's eye and then swivels it slowly around to follow the newest Bella until she drops down into the empty spot beside her. Chloe notes the way Emily is anxiously clutching at the cup in her hands.
"Legacy." Beca addresses her with dry suspicion, eyebrow raised. Chloe allows herself a private smile at the way Emily's brow creases. Whenever she smiles like that, Chloe thinks she always looks so forlorn. Like she's remorseful about the undeniable happiness she can't help but feel. Emily clears her throat and Chloe catches a blur of motion out in the hallway that moves too fast for her to make out.
"I was, I mean, we were talking," she jabs her thumb in the direction of the doorway. There's another blur of colour and this time Chloe is about ninety percent sure sees Amy and Cynthia Rose almost butt heads in their attempt to vacate the line of sight. "We were talking about everyone's auditions and, well, Amy and C.R.'s are the same as Jessica and Ashley's. I guess Stacie's had a bit more, um, groping?" She says it like she's five seconds away from bursting into laughter and Chloe smiles. Emily is nice, more than nice. Nice enough that she's made Chloe regret not immediately agreeing with Beca when she'd told the girl that they didn't want her going off to crawl under a rock and die pretty much every day since the riff off. "But theirs are all kind of the same." Emily falls quiet and Chloe watches from her place in the arm chair across the room, amusement steadily rising as Beca just blinks in response. "Which I told them." She continues after a moment, uncertain. "And they sort of mentioned that, well that yours," Emily rolls the cup between her hands and Beca finally notices it, glancing quickly down and then back up, "was kind of different. And I was wondering..." She trails off, then smiles expectantly – hopefully – at Beca and Chloe almost laughs at the way stormy blue eyes bulge when it finally clicks.
And Chloe loves this. Love being given the opportunity to sit back and take in moments like these. Her best friends interacting around her, the enormous sense of family and comfort that they give her.
"Oh." Chloe watches Beca blink a few times in rapid succession as that final piece slipping into place and then she shakes her head with almost comically wide eyes. "Oh, dude, no." In a movement that's nothing but flailing limbs – quite a feat, given the length of them, or lack thereof – and appears far more difficult than it needs to be, Beca uncrosses her legs and swings them around so that she can stand. "I'm retired." Chloe's already smirking as Beca stalks towards the doorway, presumably to leave. Only to find the way blocked by Fat Amy and Cynthia Rose.
"Consider this a brief and impromptu return to the game?" Amy suggests, only it comes out sounding more like a q threat. She's got an intimidating, Australian mob boss thing going on and Cynthia Rose looks like her body guard, hovering menacingly behind her. Beca's back is to her and so Chloe can't see the look on her face, but she can picture it well enough. Emily catches her eye and throws her an adorably sheepish little half smile that Chloe can't help but return.
"This is," they each grab an arm and bodily turn a sputtering Beca back in the direction she had just attempted fleeing, "this is like, like some serious-"
"Aca-abuse?" Chloe offers, without an ounce of sincere helpfulness, from her spot. Beca glares at her and lets her body to go limp in her friend's arms. She makes them work for it; they have to practically drag her across the room, her feet catching on the carpet, and then manhandle her back onto the couch.
"Is this you? Did you do this?" Beca's eyes narrow in her direction and for once Chloe can claim complete innocence.
"I've been here the whole time!" She holds up her hands to show how utterly devoid they are of a magic wand. "It isn't my fault that your reputation precedes you." Beca just huffs as Amy moves around to the back of the couch and rests her hands on her captain's shoulders to hold her there.
"Is she going to do it?" Chloe's eyes flick up to find Stacie peering around the doorway. Well. Stacie and Stacie's boobs. Lilly's head appears below her, them, an instant later and Chloe sees her lips move but she doesn't hear anything.
"I'm not letting her up until she does." Amy singsongs without looking back, fingers kneading the muscles beneath them in a way that makes Beca try to struggle away. "She's fiesty, but I've wrestled bigger crocs in my bathroom back home." Stacie bounces, giggling, into the living room with Lilly shuffling closely behind her and then suddenly Flo is there with Jessica and Ashley, and Chloe is half expecting the Trebles to arrive any second now. They all convene around the coffee table at the front of the couch, kneeling or sitting on the floor like kids waiting for a puppet show. Beca's gaze is dubious as it travels over each of them, finally landing and lingering on Chloe.
"You guys know what Youtube is, right? Like you can literally watch a cat wearing a top hat do this now." Chloe just shrugs as if to say yeah, she knows, but there's nothing better than the real thing.
"That could be some C.G. shit." Cythina Rose intones from where she's sprawled out on the floor beside Stacie, legs stretched out, leaning back on her hands. "This here's the real deal." Beca finds Chloe's eyes again and the redhead quirks an eyebrows and presses her lips together. Beca glowers and holds out her hand to Emily, who happily offers up the cup before clapping so exuberantly that it reminds Chloe of Andre.
Beca leans forward and pushes the empty fruit bowl – which, seriously, is never full unless it's with Doritos during a movie night – out of her way before placing the cup rim side down on the top of the table. She rests her forearms on her knees, lets her hands hang loosely in the air, and makes one last ditch attempt.
"Are you seriously going to make me-" Even Chloe joins in on the unified, near-deafening "yes!" that cuts her off. She watches as Beca presses the flat of her tongue against the front of her teeth before taking a breath. "I hate all of you." Then, after slapping Amy's hands off of her, she reaches forward, shaking out her wrist in a way that makes the bracelet dangling from it jingle, and begins with the familiar, but never tired, "I've got my ticket for the long way round."
And it reminds Chloe of camp fires and hood nights. Reminds her of empty pools and how awesome the acoustics are in the dorm showers. It reminds her of how adorably awkward Beca was and is, and how she'd looked at Chloe that night at the retreat. Bathed in the glow from the flames. When Chloe had sang those words, to her, for once.
And no, Chloe really doesn't think about sex, the whole of it, all that often. Especially not in public, because that's actually gotten her into a bit of trouble before – in her defence, she'd been a terribly hormonal person in her late teens and who in their right mind leaves erotic fiction just lying around on the shelves in a library when you have an assistant as hot as Tom working the late shift – but sometimes her thoughts kind of get away from her.
And suddenly she isn't just 'watching Beca do the cup thing' anymore. She's watching slim hands and nimble fingers manipulate what could be a magic tennis shoe for all she knows, she's not paying attention to that, while a voice so astoundingly lovely washes over her and swells to a crescendo inside her chest. She watches Beca's mouth curl around the words, watches the way she moves the cup with such effortless ease and the way every one of the Bellas hangs on her every note.
Beca finishes with a final 'pop' of the cup and as she places it back down on the table, she gives it a slap with the back of her hand and a satisfied smirk. She sends it flying towards Cynthia Rose, who isn't quick enough, and the cup bounces right off the end of her nose. The room erupts in applause, which is led by Emily and bookended by a piercingly high-pitched whistle delivered by Lilly.
"That was so cool!" Emily is grinning from ear to ear and Chloe watches as Beca smiles, pulling in a breath between her teeth and reaching up to scratch her head. Her nose crinkles as Emily continues to gush and she pulls her legs up to her chest. Chloe's cheeks hurt from smiling.
And she's struck with an abruptly unexpected need to kiss Beca.
It fills her chest so completely that she's sure she should feel like she's suffocating, but she doesn't. She feels warm and fuzzy, and like she really, really wants to kiss Beca. Which is right when Beca decides to look over at her again. And Chloe has to bite her lip to keep herself from saying something, doing something.
Because for all of her calm co-ordination and thoroughly thought out master plans, Chloe can be dangerously impulsive when she feels like it. Something Aubrey knows only too well.
That impulsiveness is the reason Beca is sitting in the Bellas house right now.
That same impulsiveness had given Chloe the final push she'd needed to kiss Beca that first time too. Without it she might have stopped to maybe ask herself, or Beca, if that was the right moment. If it was okay. And, yes, she knows that Beca would have just told her yes and the end result would have been more or less the same, but her impulsiveness had been the thing to tip the scale.
She likes the feeling she gets from it too, giving in. It's euphoric in a way, freeing, handing over the reins of control to something that is essentially uncontrollable in the moment. It's exciting.
Kissing Beca had been exciting. Unexpected and thrilling in a way that had made her head buzz. Made her giddy.
Honestly? It had turned her on. She's only human and Beca really is a fantastic kisser. Chloe had sort of hit the jackpot there. She hadn't meant to sound so surprised and it certainly hadn't been anything to do with Beca's skill, she just hadn't expected to enjoy it as much as she had. Or no, that isn't it. There's a reason Chloe's been thinking about this, wanting this, for a while now and that isn't because she didn't think she'd like it. It's more that she didn't realise how much she would. Which, as it turns out, is a lot.
After her surprise had worn off, Beca hadn't hesitated in the slightest, and Chloe had been taken aback by her boldness. Pleasantly though, like someone having a fantasy unexpectedly materialise in front of them. Which is, she supposes, sort of what happened. Because she hadn't been saying it just to get a rise out of Beca; she really has thought about this before. What it would be like to kiss her, be close to her like that. She can admit that's part of the reason she initially went to Beca with this. She's attracted to her, but who wouldn't be? She'd been drawn in by that surly demeanour and raccoon eyes, and every new layer of Beca revealed since then has been an incredible, added bonus. She's beautiful and brave and she cares. She's passionate and she loves her friends. She's cocky but not obnoxiously, and the way she downplays her talent makes Chloe was to slap or squeeze the belief into her tiny little body.
Chloe always feels. She feels a lot.
Beca makes her feel more.
That kiss had scrambled her nervous system.
Once Beca had left, Chloe had simply lay with her back against the mattress and her fingers resting against her lips, just feeling. Remembering and memorising the way her body had come alive. How Beca had tasted. The sound she'd pulled from Chloe, how she'd made Chloe want to touch her, everywhere, presumably without even trying. Chloe's done her fair share of kissing, but she's never felt anything quite like that. And she'd been thankful that she was already lying down, because thinking about it made her dizzy.
Had made her want to do it again.
And this was good, this was the point of it all. This was why Chloe had wanted to experiment in the first place, to see if there was something she was missing out on. To explore a new avenue that might lead to new desires. To have fun, but also to feel safe. And she'd known before entering into this that she'd have all of that with Beca.
Only, there's a little more here than she'd been expecting. Which in hindsight, was sort of dumb on her part. Because this is Beca.
And with her, everything is always more.
"You could have at least pretended to try and rescue me, you know." Beca's doing that thing where she glares with her whole face, not just her eyes, and Chloe's mouth curves at the corners.
"What good would that have done?" She asks, tipping herself forward in the armchair until she gets her legs out from under her and can plant her feet flat against the floor. She pads over to the couch where Beca is still sitting and drops down into the recently vacated spot beside her. Emily and the rest of the Bellas had dispersed almost as quickly as they'd assembled once Beca had finished playing the part of their trained monkey – her words, not theirs – leaving her and Chloe alone again.
"Uh, it would have made me feel better." Chloe hears the 'duh' that isn't being said and Beca makes a show of feigning sympathy. Her face relaxes and she puts on a ridiculously Valley Girl accent. "Guys, no. Beca's like, our captain. We should totes respect that and everything she's done for us. We shouldn't force her do something she obviously doesn't want to." Chloe's laughing by the time she finishes, but quickly sobers when she remembers she should be peeved.
"I don't sound like that." And she tilts her head to point her nose at the ceiling in an effort to add an extra air of snobbery. Beca grimaces dramatically and nods her head.
"You kinda do. Like, for a second there I actually forgot that it was me talking." Chloe bends her legs at the knees and pulls them up, tucking them close to her body. She rests her elbow against the back of the couch and props her head against her hand.
"Sorry, what? I tuned you out." She grins easily and ignores the way Beca rubs at the corner of her eye with her middle finger.
She likes Beca's eyes. Likes looking at them, enjoys having them on her. They're expressive and warm, despite their stormy colour, and sure they can deliver a mean glare as well as an exceptionally disgusted dirty look, but they can also grab your attention from across the room – or a packed courtyard – and just, hold you.
When Aubrey, only minutes after Beca had shot down her invitation to try out for the Bellas, had demanded to know why Chloe had even bothered trying, she had shrugged and told her best friend that she'd just needed to. That Beca had "kind eyes" and they'd called to her. Aubrey had barked something about a manic depressive hooker and cats in heat, and Chloe had just shaken her head and let it go.
Beca's eyes are soulful, as corny as she thinks that sounds, and they give away a lot of what Beca is feeling, even if she doesn't want them to. They're her ultimate betrayer when it comes to her emotions and Chloe's spent enough time looking that she feels she has a pretty good handle on how to read them. She's always been big into eye contact though. It makes her feel closer to people, like she's really seeing them. No fronts, no filters, no bullshit.
And Beca's eyes are really pretty.
"And please, no one can make you do something you don't want to do." Beca's nose crinkles.
"I am kind of badass." Her eyes wrinkle at their corners as she smiles and Chloe's body feels lighter for seeing the shift.
"Oh, totes." Beca lets her head fall against the curve of the back of the couch, tilting it to the side so that she can still see Chloe. "Beca 'Badass' Mitchell." A thought occurs to her and her mouth drops open. "That is so your stripper name!" Beca's eyebrows jump up a few inches.
"Um, you're the one with the exotic dancing aspirations, remember?" Chloe lifts a shoulder in a shrug.
"Maybe we could be a double act." Beca laughs. "Think about it!"
"Dude, I'm trying really hard not to." Chloe waves her nay-saying away with a wildly flapping hand.
"We'd be so rich though!" She hears Beca's scoff and knows she's readying herself to deliver another snarky remark. "We could call ourselves The Lady Jammers." Only to choke on another laugh. Chloe beams at the sight. "And they could make up the stage to look like a wall of shower stalls on a space ship or something, but one of them has real running water that we can incorporate into the act."
"Oh my god," Beca gasps, "what are you on?" Chloe leans in a little and feels warmth blossom inside her at the way Beca doesn't move a muscle.
"I'm high on this idea." She admits, vehemently. "And the money we're going to make."
"Okay but like, you know this isn't happening right?" Beca lifts a hand to tuck an errant lock of dark hair behind her ear and the motion distracts Chloe enough that she forgets to answer. "And seriously? We have like a built-in name with 'The Bellas'."
"And if we turned that into something seedy, Aubrey would hunt us both down and save the wolves a job." Beca brings a hand to her throat and rubs her fingers over it.
"Okay, point taken." She taps her fingers thoughtfully against her mouth, mulling something over, and Chloe unconsciously counts the beats. They stop abruptly and Chloe watches the way her fingers jerk and stutter as the lips beneath them start to curl. They part in a laugh that it looks like Beca is trying to hold in.
"What?" She smiles, bewildered, and Beca shakes her head.
"No, I can't." She shoves the brunette in the shoulder with one hand and it rattles another laugh free. "I'm serious, dude. You don't, you don't want to hear this one." Chloe's eyes widen and she almost trips over her words in her excitement.
"Now I really do!"
"I shouldn't have even thought it, oh my god, I'm so gross." She utters a noise of disgust. "What is wrong with me?"
"Okay no, now you have to say. The suspense is killing me." Beca's unwillingness to divulge is coming off of her in waves, but Chloe knows she's going to cave.
"Two girls, one cup." It leaves her in a rush and she covers her face with her hands the second she's finished saying it. Chloe's mouth actually falls open.
"That's disgusting." She gasps after a moment, sounding thoroughly appalled.
"I know." Beca sounds so forlorn and defeated, like she's committed some heinous, ignominious offence. Chloe thinks it might be the most adorable thing she's ever witnessed.
"What is wrong with you?" Beca lets her hands fall away and looks over at the redhead.
"I'm so sorry." Her eyes are huge and shame-filled. Chloe is powerless against the giggle that bubbles up and bursts free. She'd planned on teasing a little longer but whatever, there will always be another time.
"What about The Shower Sisters?" She offers, once Beca looks a little less horrified with herself and the captain pulls a face.
"Mm, no. Veto. That one sounds creepy." She straightens and pulls her legs up, wrapping her arms around them and holding them close to her chest. "We could just use Fat Amy's and call ourselves Bloe. Guys would think it was funny."
"But we need an angle for the ladies, too!" Chloe presses and Beca shoots her a look that she can't quite get gauge. It causes her to falter. "Right?" But Beca nods like nothing is amiss, like "obviously", and so maybe it isn't.
"What about 'The X-Files', but spelt 'p','h','i','l','e','s' and we sing while we strip. Oh, and we could add an extra 'x' at the front so it's like female chromosomes?" Chloe is a blur of motion that never moves from her spot, and the sound she makes is some mutant hybrid-offspring of a squeak and a shriek. She lunges forward, unable to stop herself, and grabs Beca, who flinches in surprise but doesn't pull away, by her shoulders.
"Yes!" She squeals, giving Beca a shake for good measure. "Yes, yes, yes!" Dark blue eyes blink at her dazedly and Chloe lifts her hands to cup Beca's cheeks. Tightly though, so that her lips are forced to pucker and her cheeks look kind of like a hamster's do after a food binge. "You are a genius." And Chloe believes that, truly. Without a flicker of doubt.
Because Beca is a genius. She's bright and brilliant, the sky isn't even her limit. It goes beyond that into the stars and past galaxies. Chloe knows it does, she can feel it. Beca can conquer any obstacle thrown her way. Sure, she's had a few slip ups, walked away before the fight was over, but she always came back. She always sees things through to the end.
The thought makes Chloe's stomach twist.
"If you guys are doing it on the couch, you're paying to get it cleaned!" Fat Amy calls from somewhere deep within the bowels of the Bella house and Chloe feels the somewhat unfamiliar warming of her cheeks as she releases Beca's face and looks away.
She isn't embarrassed, not really. But for a second there Amy's words had stirred something, an image, inside her head and it was probably best for everyone that she not touch Beca while she's thinking, however inadvertently, about doing some more serious touching. But then Beca is rolling her eyes at Amy and finding Chloe's and smiling.
And Chloe is right back to thinking about the kiss and the cup performance, and everything they'd made her feel.
"Can we, um," her words come out shakier than she expects and she knows Beca notices because a tiny crease forms in the space between her eyebrows. "Can I talk to you about something?" The other woman's surprise at being asked, rather than simply being talked at, is evident and Chloe even feels weird asking it.
"Yeah, of course." Beca nods, suddenly serious, and Chloe's gaze darts around the room. Beca takes the hint and her mouth forms an 'o' long before the sound leaves her. "Oh, like, you mean," she gestures between them and then starts to get up, before she second guesses herself and ends up sort of hovering in place, "you mean, like, us. Talking. Somewhere that isn't here." Chloe's smile, which appears despite her uncharacteristic unease, brightens her face.
And there are a lot of people that make Chloe happy. People that she likes being with and talking to.
But she's pretty sure Beca's the only one who can make her smile like this. Like there's nothing but sunlight inside of her.
Chloe leads them into her bedroom, opting for it over Beca's because she has an actual door she can close. Which she does, as soon as Beca is inside, and then she leans back against it, pinning her arms behind her and clutching at the door knob that's digging into her side. Her eyes follow Beca as she takes her usual slow tour of the room, trailing a finger along the edge of Chloe's dresser and tapping the brim of the hat that her teddy bear wears. His name is George and he's a horse trainer. No, not a cowboy, a trainer and his adorable little faux-leather Weston is not to be removed. Not under any circumstance, because Chloe's best friend in third graven had taken it off once and it was missing for a week. They had been devastated. Her and George, that is. The hat shifts a little, but retains what Chloe likes to call it's 'rakish tilt'. His canvas coloured shirt has definitely seen better days, the cuffs are frayed and it's missing a button. The fur around his face is a little more faded than the rest, because Chloe had liked to sleep with him pressed against her cheek. To her, he looks sharp as ever.
Beca circles around until she realises Chloe is still standing by the door and she jerks to a standstill beside her bed.
"Why are you staring at me like that?" To anyone else, if directed at anyone else, the question might sound rude. Chloe only chuckles quietly.
"I'm not staring at you like anything." Only she knows that she is, but doesn't think 'just because' will really fly as an answer. She likes looking at Beca, she makes Chloe smile. Even when she's looking at her through slanted eyes.
"You totally are though. You're staring at me like," Beca pauses, searching for a word, "well, like, like something." Chloe chuckles again and squeezes the doorknob a little tighter. Beca folds her arms over her chest and lifts an eyebrow, jutting her head forward. "Are you going to try and recruit me into a cult? Again?" Chloe's hair shifts over her shoulder as she tilts her head at the shorter woman.
"Well, it worked out so well the first time." Beca can't really argue with that. "But that isn't what I wanted to talk to you about."
"But there is another cult?" When Chloe only looks at her, Beca lets out a resigned sigh. "Okay, but I'm not drinking anyone's blood this time." Chloe's lips shift into a smirk and she gives an affirmative nod of her head.
"Deal." But then silence starts to creep in, because Chloe isn't sure what to say next. She knows why she brought Beca here, knows what she wants to say, but her stomach is in knots and her palms are sweaty. And she realises that she's nervous. Which has, she's pretty sure, never happened around Beca outside of this experiment and it's a weird new feeling that she isn't sure she likes. It makes her insides feel twisted and clammy, and she knows she needs to say something because Beca's smiling with all of her teeth like she does when she's feeling awkward and her fingers are clutching too tightly where they rest against her upper arms. "Sorry." She ducks her head and clears her throat. "I feel kind of weird doing this." When she glances back up she finds that Beca's awkwardness has eased and she's smiling at Chloe, bemused.
"Dude, you haven't done anything yet." And it's the 'yet' that gets Chloe. Tugs at her in a way she isn't used to, not with Beca, and sucks all of the moisture from her mouth. It makes her inhale a bit too sharply and she's sure her knuckles are white where they're gripping the knob behind her. Beca seems to realises that something she's said has had an effect her expression is slipping back towards uncertain.
"I want to though." Chloe blurts, unashamed of the desire but still hesitant to see how it'll be received. She wants so badly to avoid scaring Beca off and even though the woman herself has assured her that that won't happen, Chloe is still afraid that it might. To her credit, Beca hardly reacts. She barely even blinks actually and when she eventually utters an "oh", she stutters over the first letter and croaks out the second. She isn't saying no though. Isn't leaving.
So, Chloe pushes herself away from the door – her fingers are stiff as they let go of the handle – and slowly walks over to where she's standing.
"I just..." she brings her hands up to tuck her curls back behind her ears, out of the way, and licks her lips before forcing herself to focus. To look Beca in the eye, take a breath, and focus. She reaches out to take hold of Beca's arms, just below the bend of her elbows, and grows more confident at the unanticipated touch of fingertips against the underside of her own. "I would really like to kiss you again." Inwardly, she cringes, because it comes out sounding like she's some kind of business woman telling Beca that she'd like to collaborate with her again some time in the future. Which, she supposes, is a really sterile way of saying what she's trying to. Her mouth opens and closes a few times before something in her brain manages to stick and Beca is looking at her like she might be holding her breath. Chloe gives her arms an apologetic squeeze. "Sorry. I've just been thinking about it a lot and," her head starts nodding of its own accord, "I want to kiss you again." And she only stops the motion when it hits her that she's probably doing a spot-on imitation of a bobble head. "Properly." Beca's palms flatten, fingers curling into a gentle grip around Chloe's elbow, and she looks up at her from beneath the shadow of a raised brow.
"Say what?" Then she huffs a laugh that Chloe thinks sounds a little offended. "I'm not sure who you were with last night, but the kiss I had?" She wrinkles her nose and gives a very self-assured nod of her head. "Felt pretty 'proper' to me." She flashes Chloe a wink and Chloe's heart beats heavily but it feels so much lighter, because everything is fine. Beca's still being Beca and it's fine.
"I'm not saying it was bad." She speaks slowly, as though Beca can only comprehend things said at half speed. "In fact, I told you exactly how not bad it was." Beca hums and all at once, she is looking immensely pleased with herself.
"Yeah, about that. Can you like, go over that one more time for me?" Chloe laughs.
"I'll grade you later." Beca pouts and Chloe's eyes flit down automatically. "Right now it sounds like you need to be educated on what constitutes as 'proper'. So," and she slips into Beca's personal bubble with the exact same ease as always, hands skimming up along Beca's arms as she brings them as close together as they can stand without touching. She sees Beca's expression flicker and feels her hands drop away, and it reminds her of documentaries she's seen on Animal Planet. Where lion cubs play at being big and fearless until something startles them and they scatter like frightened house cats. It makes her stomach clench. "Say if something isn't okay." It isn't a question but Beca nods unevenly anyway. Chloe's hands move up towards her shoulders, touching purposefully now, and only slow when her fingers brush along the edge of the brunette's loose-fitting t-shirt where material meets skin. They hover there for a moment, while Chloe tries to keep her breathing level and struggles with where she should let her gaze rest.
The problem is, she wants to see everything. The way her hands move against Beca and how or if the touch changes her expression. She wants to see what her hands look like on her, not just feel what she's touching but witness the act. But she wants to see Beca's face, watch the colour shifting in her eyes as Chloe curves one hand around her neck and brings the other up to where her hair is gathered. Beca's breaths feels unusually quick against her face and Chloe's has to bite her lip to concentrate as she eases out the yellow pencil that's holding the bun together.
Her hair falls free, bouncing to lie against her shoulders, and Chloe brings her hand back down and around. Slides it beyond the curtain of hair so that she can slip her fingers into dark tresses at the base of Beca's skull. She hears Beca's breath hitch and watches her eyelids flutter closed, and that it's.
The exact point at which Chloe loses herself.
There's an intense rush of longing and desire, then she's easing Beca forward with the hand cradling her head. This time she doesn't so much press her lips to Beca's as she does capture them with her own and Chloe can't see anything but bright lights and embers.
Beca lips are soft, just like that had been the night before. But this time Chloe is the one leading – more like being blindly led, but that's irrelevant – and so it's different too. This time, Beca is the one making sounds; a sharp, noisy hiss of breath that leaves her right as Chloe convinces her lips to part like magic and then she licks lazily into Beca's mouth. Hands fly to her hips, clutching, fingertips digging into the material of her jeans, and Chloe smothers her smile against Beca's tongue as it meets hers stroke for steady stroke.
Her chest feels like someone is sitting on it and her head is buzzing like it's filled with bees. Every inch of her is warm, tingling, and she feels Beca shiver as she brings her hand out from where it's buried in her hair and rests it against her cheek.
Chloe knows she's a good kisser. It isn't an ego thing, she's been told. A lot. There's a difference though, between knowing it and having someone else confirm it as truth. Feeling them confirm it.
She breaks away for a heartbeat, just long enough to change the angle her head is tilted at, and hears Beca's laboured breaths. They sound like music notes. She holds back a second longer, brushing their noses together and can't help smiling at the way she feels right now. Apparently, it's a second too long, because the hands at her hips grip tight enough to give a single, firm tug and Chloe's tumbling into Beca and the kiss, and her smile is shattered beneath the weight of it all. The pull of Beca's mouth and the notion, the very idea that she'd wanted more.
That Beca hadn't wanted to stop just yet.
Chloe prides herself in her control of these types of situations, never quite letting her libido get the better of her, which means she's never had all that much to regret about her sex life. She might not remain calm exactly, knows very well that her penchant for impulsiveness can get the better of her at times, but she maintains a sense of collectedness that hasn't steered her wrong yet. It allows her to enjoy all the pleasures, comfortably. She's pretty confident about what she has, after all. So, she doesn't do anything she isn't comfortable with or the repercussions of which she hasn't yet considered. Even her impulses, she's usually considered before. It's weirdly methodical, but it's how she works. She is a master of her own control. Most of the time anyway.
Her kiss is smooth and unrelenting as she brushes her thumb along the ridge of a smooth cheekbone and snares Beca's lower lip between her teeth, then bites down ever so slightly.
And she feels the groan like a tangible thing. Rocketing free and smashing every molecule of air in its path until it slips into Chloe's mouth and reverberates through her entire body. Beca presses closer and her hands breeze beneath the cotton of Chloe's shirt like it isn't any kind of barrier at all.
Three things happen simultaneously.
The hand Chloe has had resting against Beca's shoulder this whole time bunches the t-shirt in a grip so tight, she has no idea how she doesn't tear a hole right through it.
Slender fingers skim up towards the middle of her back as thumbs brush the underside of her ribs, setting her on fire.
And she feels an urge to surge forward and press Beca into the wall behind her rise so desperately, so overwhelmingly inside of her that for one heart-stopping second, Chloe is terrified.
Panic, white hot and blinding, fills her so quickly that she can't be sure it doesn't hurt. She has to use both of her hands, pressed against Beca's shoulders, to push herself away. The instant their lips are no longer touching, Beca's eyes fly open and she wrenches her hands out from under Chloe's shirt. She brings them together and cups them around her mouth.
"Oh my god." She mumbles into them and Chloe barely hears it over the pounding in her ears. She runs her fingers through her curls and looks down at the floor, eyes scouring the carpet as though she just dropped a contact lens. "I don't-" She focuses on her breathing. Taking one breath after another, not rushing, just taking her time. "God, that was so horny-teen of me. I'm so sorry, Chlo." Her head snaps up and she stares at Beca.
"No, don't." Beca's eyes are so wide they're making her look like she's only just starting to come down from a week long bender and a wave of guilt hits Chloe. "You didn't do anything wrong." She smiles in a way that's supposed to be reassuring but her lips are quivering and it ends up crooked and off kilter. "Please don't be sorry." Because if Beca's sorry then that means she's regretful, and Chloe can't stand the idea of her regretting anything that's transpired between them so far.
"But..." Chloe can see that Beca's struggling, confused, hears it in the way she clears her throat. "But you stopped." The way she says it, she sounds disappointed.
Chloe's stomach somersaults.
"Yeah, no, that was," she props her hands up on her hips and tries to believe what she's saying, "that was me. Conserving." Beca hikes a brow. "Well, I don't want to use my best play on the season opener, you know?"
"Not at all." She doesn't miss a beat. Her voice is a little more husky, now the panic has fizzled out of it. Chloe likes how it sounds.
She likes the way Beca's hair is tousled and how her shirt is rumpled. She likes how she looks dazed and the way her lips are swollen. She likes that it's because of her.
"So, um," Beca starts again, twisting her mouth slyly to the side and looking up at Chloe through her lashes in a way that makes something flare to life behind the redhead's ribs, "was that what you meant by 'properly'?" It's the way Beca is looking at her that makes her feel okay again. Chases the lingering shadows of panic away and allows her heart to beat a little easier.
She smirks, sees it mirrored on Beca's face.
"Kind of."
