WENDNESAY…
THURSDAY…
FRIDAY…
Chapter 6- on the plane to Texas
I couldn't sleep last night because I was in thinking about to many things. The nurse said that I was well enough to go on the plane and that disturbed me. I must have only been asleep for one or two days because I had a few hours unaccounted for. I figured that I must have had deep thoughts because I had an aching head. It felt like my head was going to explode especially since I had been thinking a lot recently about my life and my children.
Even in my sleep I had deep thoughts- cool! When I woke up, I just lay there half conscious letting my thoughts take control and go wherever they wanted to go. Several hours later, my thoughts had stopped, and I was left confused with a few unanswered questions. I probably fell asleep again because it was 3am when they brutally woke me up. I didn't hear the cell gate open which amazed me, because it is usually loud, anyway, I think that the brutal awakening had knocked my thoughts out of the window because the unanswered questions quickly disappeared. I hope and pray that I can remember them later, I needed to; my life depended on it literally.
Outside my cell, blocking the doorway, were about 5 or 6 guards, who were dressed in mostly weapons, but they still wore a different kind of a police offer's uniform. They were probably from the maximum security place so that would explain their different uniforms. They were all looking at me with their menacing eyes for several minutes but I just ignored it. I figured that I had a month or two to die, maximum. The longer the time I had before I die, the longer I would have to prove my innocence. At least that was something. The largest guard forced me up on to my feet and put me in shackles and handcuffs. They said I wouldn't get any breakfast this morning because I will get something when I arrive in Texas. That was good really considering I have been off my food for a while.
They got me dressed in cleaner versions of the orange overalls. They were still uncomfortable, but I didn't care. Without delay, they sent me on the plane and I was anxious incase there were any other prisoners on board. Luckily there wasn't, and I could relax a little bit. Before we took off, numerous guards, about 10, boarded the plane and began to gossip about me whilst they checked everything. The gossiping guards reminded me of my mother talking about me and chatting to lots of other mothers. I thought that Emmett probably told them all about me and my so called good boy, bad boy routine. I was used to people talking about me and irritating me now so it didn't bother me as much as I thought; in the beginning it would have hurt a lot more. Whilst they sat down, I had a few minutes to think before they scrutinized me; I thought of how quickly this had happened and how my life had changed drastically because of it.
As soon as I heard the plane begin to start its engine, they got up and sent me right to the back of the plane which was in a metal cage. I felt that this was completely unnecessary but they thought otherwise, it bothered me that they treated me like an animal, because I am not. I may be a lot of things but I am still a person and I still have feelings. At once I sat down on the one chair that was in the metal cage, and they immediately tied my shackles and handcuffs to the hook at the bottom of the chair. I was restrained and I couldn't even move an inch. I had never seen some police officers take this many precautions over one prisoner, but then again, this one prisoner were an ex-police officer. They thought that I was going to try and talk them out of their decision, or at least, to tell them to undo or loosen my shackles. "What am I a murderer?" I shouted at the top of my voice and it almost made my voice break. Ooh- wrong choice of language, I am classed as a murder now so I must not say daft thing like that again. I figured that if I said anything else after that then they would humiliate and laugh at my every move.
The plane's engine started to roar louder and before I knew it, we were in the air. I was pleased because it meant the quicker I get there the less rubbish I had to put up with because of the guards. There were no windows at my side so I had nothing to stare at for the journey, so I just looked at my feet and started thinking. I wouldn't be surprised if the guards would have thought that I was imagining of a possible way that I could escape by looking at my feet, where the whole restrain mechanism was. Because of this, I looked away at one of the planes walls. I thought again of my family and how I wouldn't get the justice in which they so rightfully deserve.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see that the guards were watching me so I plucked up the courage to ask them why I was going to get the death row. I mean, the accusations were not enough to be executed, or so I thought. Apparently I had committed first degree murder with special circumstances. When I asked them what the special circumstances, were they simply ignored me. I felt like a school child being told off by the teacher for something I didn't do, but the reality of it was that it is much worse.
I managed to get a few hours sleep. During that sleep I dreamt of that horrible night but it was a bit different, it was through the eyes of the thug and I wasn't in my bed trying to sleep. I had seen how they died, but it was as though I was there killing them firsthand and not watching it off the DVD. I woke up at the nightmare and I froze with horror. Did I really kill my family? - No I couldn't have- I loved them too much. Were there any thugs in the first place? There were so many unanswered questions in my mind and I didn't want to think about them anymore.
The one thing I did think about after the thoughts was to try to think really hard about what exactly happened that night. Every time I tried to remember it always came back the same- that I had killed them. I didn't want to accept the fact that I had, but I figured there was no other choice; I had to. The memories of that night came flooding back and I had a falling out with Bella and Reneesme- that's why I went to McDonalds - to try and make it up to them because subconsciously I thought that they would be hungry, and that I had done wrong. They never seemed to warm to New Jersey so that's probably what the argument was about. The thing was though I had warmed to New Jersey and I loved it there even if it was just a few hours in the state, it had made me angry, furious in fact so that's the reason why I killed them. I didn't mean to hurt them- I had never lost my temper with them before even if I was in the right- but I did. How could I have done such a thing?
I began to weep with regret. I hoped now that the execution was going to be sooner rather than later, it was not as though I had anything to live for. The plane had finally landed and I was still thinking. Even though I was aware that it had landed, I wanted to sit here and think a bit more about that night.
The guards all unlocked me and I was handed over to some other guards. These guards were much scarier and bulkier. They didn't need to carry a weapon because they were a weapon in themselves. Outside, the sky was a bright aqua blue and the sun shone in my eyes, almost blinding me. We were not in an airport- we were in a special landing facility next to the maximum security jail. My eyes started to burn and I became dizzy. When I took one step outside the plane, I stumbled and I still saw what very little there was. All of the guards were looking frightened by my presence and grubby appearance. One of the guards physically dragged me inside to the cell.
I was petrified; and I thought the prison I was in was bad- this one was my worst nightmare. As I approached the cell, I noticed that it was even more cramped than my other cell. Luckily I had no-one else to share my cell with so at least that was a positive thing about the whole situation.
