A/N: So here we are, at the start of a new chapter. I am sorry for the long wait, I had been so busy with school. Homework, and then midterms, and then papers and presentations to deal with and finally finals. And I got sick same week go me!
An author of one of my favorite fanfics, Tayg, asked me when I would be updating this story and I suddenly had an idea for an opening of a new chapter. So I told her I would update now that I am on break.
I didn't intentionally forget to update I swear, but hopefully I can bust out a few chapters before the next semester starts. But for this chapter I dedicate it to Tayg. Thanks, Tayg, for your support!
On to the next!
Chapter Seven
~Two days into the Normandy Shakedown~
Blood. It was everywhere. All over the dead bodies, the ground. It soaked in the hard soil on the moon Torfan, staining the normally grey tone a dark red, almost black. The bodies were scattered everywhere, leading to an underground bunker. The bodies were broken, shredded. Some bodies were missing limbs, others torn wide open, revealing the innards of batarians and humans alike.
Shepard stood at the center of an endless sea of the dead, her armor eaten away by battle, chunks of it missing. She looked down at herself, covered in red, her gloved hands dripping with the blood of her unit. She felt a sense of shame, and dread. She feared herself and what she was capable of. She fell to her knees, next to the body of a young man, probably barely 19 years of age. Just another victim of the war. No, not the war, a victim of her, Shepard. The woman capable of causing so much destruction.
On the outside she normally appeared callous to the carnage. She did not show signs of remorse, and some days she believed her lack of empathy herself. She refused to accept the responsibility of the lives lost. It was for the mission. It was to push back the brutal bastards who could do unspeakable horrors. She was hell bent on showing them how humans could be just as destructive, that they could give as good as they got.
But that was not how she currently felt. Regret, guilt, an upheaval of emotions buried along with the dead on Torfan. But she could not hold it back. This was not the heavy weight of simple guilt clinging to her conscience. This was fact. This was memory. A nightmare that repeated itself time and again since she took command on Torfan. She was not experienced enough to take charge in such a situation. She did not know how to handle the responsibility, and her own personal rage against the batarians. She let her anger control her. It made her decisions which lead to the deaths of good men and women.
She let out a primal sound that echoed all around her. It was as though she was in a large empty room with walls that easily carried sound. It was a half wail, half roar, both anguish and anger. It was the woman she trapped inside of herself looking for release, but to never find it. She would never let that woman out.
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Micah snapped awake, nearly colliding face first with the glass door of her sleeper pod. She had caught herself just in time, palms flat against the glass, her body shook uncontrollably, her breathing heavy. She could feel racking sobs trying to make their way to the surface, but she swallowed hard, keeping it at bay. Her fingers curled into half fists against the glass, feeling sticky with cold sweat.
She hated those dreams. She hated feeling that way. It was weak. The fuck is wrong with you? She questioned herself as she tried to take steadying breathes. She finally fell back against the upright bedding, trying to relax tensed muscles. She hadn't had a dream about Torfan in a long time. It had caught her off guard. She didn't like thinking about it, she preferred to keep it hidden in the dark recesses of her mind.
She ran a hand over her face before reaching above her head. She pressed a few buttons that controlled her sleeper pod, hearing the slight hiss from the door as it gave a slight jolt before slowly opening, letting her out. She stepped out and onto the hard metal floor below her, feeling a head ache forming against her forehead and eyes. Seriously, Shepard, get a fucking hold of yourself. She thought angrily. Not the best way to start the day, she thought.
"Commander, you ok?" She then heard next to her. She looked to her right spotting Alenko. He held a look of concern all over his face. She half glared at him. He was too damned genuine for his own good. It bothered her for some reason. She knew he was just being nice, but it rubbed her all wrong. It was an annoyance.
She sighed heavily as she began to walk away from him. "I'm fine, Lieutenant." She barked with a raspy voice. She needed a shower, not later, but now. She felt disgusting in her sweaty clothes. It made her think too much about her dream. A shower would cleanse her of the clinging sweat and the dream, and they could get on with the damn day of standing around on Eden Prime dealing with geeky ass scientists. No doubt they will attempt to drone on about this god forsaken beacon, hindering the whole process.
The sooner they were there the better. She was close to the crew showers before she heard her name being called. She felt another hint of annoyance. "Shepard!" he called out again. She was about to reprimand the fool who bothered her at such an inconvenient moment but spotted the captain waving her down. She suddenly felt a bit dismayed by his presence.
"Sir, can it wait... I really need a shower." She pleaded. She rarely did such things, and Anderson noticed the oddity in her tone. She was usually a woman of action, but she almost seemed... vulnerable. He perked a brow as she tried to put on a hard stare. She could tell it was too late to take it back. She attempted to straighten herself out, to give a look of indifference but she was failing, and miserably.
But thankfully he never questioned. "Make it quick. We'll be reaching Eden Prime within the hour." Anderson said, not keeping her a moment longer. She simply nodded once, turning on her heel and marching for the showers. Thank fucking god for small favors. Was all she could think as she hastily marched into the women's shower room and began to strip her uniform uncaringly to the floor before the doors even had a chance to close.
As soon as the shower head began to spray water over her naked form, Shepard felt an instant sense of relief. It was like washing away the remaining guilt that clung to her. Why should she even feel guilty? She had to do what was needed. She had to get back at those batarians, make a point. She had to keep her unit together. She was fierce, not weak.
She began to scrub at her skin harshly with the soap. Some days she didn't know who she was trying to kid. Everyone else, or herself.
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"I don't like this, Anderson." Shepard said without hesitation. She was already geared up, clad in her N7 onyx armor, weapons in their places, ready for action. She walked with Anderson to the crew deck, both heading for the elevator. They had just received the distress call from Eden Prime. The look of that mother ship in the video feed was unlike anything she had ever seen. Something felt off.
They stopped in front of the elevator, the door slowly retracting into the floor. "I don't either, Shepard but we have to retrieve that beacon." He said firmly, allowing no room for argument. "We don't even know what is stored on it. It could be nothing, it could be medical advances. It could be a weapon of mass destruction." He continued as they both stepped forward and into the elevator.
The door closed and the elevator began a slow descent towards the cargo hold. "I just don't like this feeling. Something's not right about this." Shepard stated. Anderson looked to her once. She had been acting odd all morning. The jump through the relay, the meeting with Nihlus in the comm room, the distress signal. She was usually ready for action, but today she seemed hesitant.
"Shepard, what is on your mind?" He questioned. She just looked to him, perking a brow. She didn't like people trying to get close, he knew. But perhaps he was the closest thing she had to a friend. She never truly confided in him, but he wished she would.
Finally the elevator stopped and the door began to slide into the floor as she rolled her eyes. "Don't fucking get soft on me, old man." Was her short reply as she stepped over the receding door before it was done opening. He shook his head as he watched her march towards Jenkins and Alenko. He then stepped out of the elevator to meet with the ground team.
"Approaching drop point one, Captain." Joker's voice came over the comm system in the cargo hold.
"Copy that, Lieutenant." Anderson replied as he stepped in front of the three marines. Shepard eyed Nihlus who was checking on his weapons, preparing for the drop as well. Alenko and Jenkins stood side by side giving each other confused looks. They still had no idea what was to come. Need to know basis... They will figure it out once they reach the package, but for now...
"Nihlus, you're coming with us?" Jenkins questioned curiously. It was odd for a council Spectre to join an alliance operation. Especially on a human controlled world. Shepard kept her mouth shut, but listened carefully to the exchange as the cargo bay door began to open. The ship made a slight lurch motion as they began to come to a stop.
Nihlus readied his gun, unlocking the safety, never even looking at the corporal. "I will be ahead of your squad, Shepard." He began. "I work better on my own. Keep radio silence unless I contact you, or the mission parameters change." He said, not exactly answering Jenkins. Shepard only gave a nod as she folded her arms over her chest as she watched the turian. He gave her one last look before he rushed for the cargo bay door, leaping out onto the planet and out of sight.
Anderson looked to Shepard who only looked back at him. Joker announced their approach to the second drop point as the ship moved forward. "The mission is yours, Commander. Secure the package, all else is secondary." He ordered firmly.
Shepard glimpsed at the two marines behind her, both keeping silent. "Aye, Sir." She replied. Anderson eyed her a moment. Something was definitely off this morning. She barely swore, barely put up a fight. She was not her normal self. She knew something was wrong, he could see it in the way she was acting.
"Be careful down there, Shepard. We don't know who was attacking." He then added as Joker piloted the Normandy into position for the ground team's drop off. Shepard rolled her eyes as she reached for her assault rifle, nodding to Alenko and Jenkins to be ready.
She then looked back at Anderson, putting on a near unreadable face. "If anyone gets in my way they'll regret it." She retorted. That sounded more like her. But it did little to put the Captain's worries to rest.
He backed away as Shepard motioned for her team to move out. All three soldiers walked down the ramp and onto the planet's surface. Soon as they were outside of the ship the Normandy lifted off quickly, the cargo bay door closing up tight. Joker began to pick up speed, flying back into the atmosphere of the planet to take standard orbit until the team called for the pick up.
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It had been more than a few days since Liara had been stuck in the prothean bubble. She could feel it giving her some form of sustenance, but it wasn't enough to keep the hunger at bay. Her throat felt parched, her stomach twisted in knots from the hunger. Goddess I'm really going to die in here! She could not help the fear that came with every waking minute. The Krogan had tried many ways to break through the barrier curtain but so far had little luck.
If he can just keep focused on the barrier he won't spot the mining laser... Oh Goddess please do not let him be smart enough to notice the mining laser. She paused her thinking as she tried to tug at her limbs. She knew it was futile, but they were getting so sore. She felt as though she had just competed in a sporting marathon. Every joint, tendon, and muscle ached. I do not know which is better... Dieing like this, or letting the krogan have me! She then thought. "Do not be silly!" She then cried out loudly, gaining the attention of her Geth guards.
They turned their metal heads, almost tilting them in a sense of curiosity. She could only manage a meek glare at her captures before they looked straight forward again. She let out a small silent sigh. I am beginning to lose my mind... She could not help but feel the despair creep over her. It would not take much more than two more days before her mind would seriously take a turn for the worse. Anything between hearing things, seeing things, and losing most of her reasoning. She may not be a medical doctor, but she knew well enough what starvation and dehydration could do to the mind and body of any species. She was also lacking proper sleep in her stasis bubble.
Where is your hero now, Liara? She questioned herself of her dreams. The mysterious woman who would save her from an evil version of her mother. "She is not real!" Liara then yelled in her frustration. The Geth seemed to ignore her this time as she began to thrash in her bubble. Or as much as she could anyways, which was not very much at all. Her stress levels were beginning to peak, and it was the start of the inevitable break down.
She could only hope someone would send a search party for her team, and soon. The university who funded this expedition had not received word since the Geth attacked, surely someone will come looking. Please someone come looking...
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Tada, another chapter down. I hope it was worth the wait, and I am so sorry again for making you all wait.
Let me know what you all think so far!
