Hans von Hozel: Jason

Disclaimers: Characters belong to Charlaine Harris. Interpretations belong to the one and only Alan Ball.


"I will sit on the porch swing" says Jason.

"You can make a sexing," say Crystal MamaKitty.

But Jason's penis was tired of sexing!

"No Sexing! Stay away MamKitty!" shouted Jason.

Suddenly, Werepanther!

Jason angry say "no sexing with werepanthers!"

"Werepanther babies!" cryes MamaKitty.

"No! No making werepanther babies" Jason made a shouting.

Jason grabby grabby porch rail to fend MamaKitty from making a sex.

All of a sudden, Vampire!

"Ah am here to block the Eric cock" Queen Bill hissies.

"GET AWAY GRANDBABY FUCKER!" screamed Jason.

MamaKitty bited the vampire while Jason made a stabby stabby.

"Incest ain't right! Nasty Grandbaby Fucker!"

"Ah no ah am dying dying..." the Queen made a cryaing of blood tears...

and was dead!

Long live Jason... and MamaKitty!


AN: Yep, MamaKitty dodged another bullet. Honestly I find Crystal way less annoying than say Tara or Marnie.

Next up, Special Guest Celebrity Bill Killers!