AN: Hey guys! So I know I haven't updated in a while but I've been doing a lot of semester testing so at least I have a good excuse! So hopefully I'll be able to update more often now, and here's chapter 7!


Katniss' POV

My boots crunch atop the fresh layer of snow that fell to District 12 last night. Every step I take creates dents in the cold, white blanket that has covered my home. The sow encases my home, yet matter how many steps I take, I will never melt it all. This reminds me of my predicament with President Snow. No matter what I do, I can never be free of his cold, wicked ways. Hatred burns within me. How can he do this to me!? I imagine what he might think if this happened to his own granddaughter. What if he knew the suffering of those who fought so hard to be free? I throw the hopeful thoughts out of my head and kick a mound of snow that fell from one of the many trees surrounding me. I will never be free of Snow, but maybe I can sacrifice my own happiness for Prim.

It's been a while since I've hunted. The woods remind me so much of Gale that it hurts, but Haymitch convinced me to get back out here. I needs something to free my mind. To keep from going insane. But I know that I'm only prolonging the inevitable. After seeing the distant look in Finnick's eyes that night… I know that I can only hope I can keep myself together. I can try to fix my broken pieces, stick the fragments of what's left together the best I can. But you can never really fix a broken glass. No matter how hard you try, the pieces never fall into place. There are too many gaps and fractures. And the harder you try to fix your glass, the more cuts and wounds you'll yield.

My feet continue to crunch the snow and I hear the rustling of branches above me that tells me my prey has heard me. But it doesn't matter. I'd never hit the stupid squirrel anyways. Hunting alone makes me feel empty. I can't describe it. Before my fight with Gale, I could bear hunting alone. It felt different, having to keep watching my back. The loads were heavier without someone to help carry our prospects. But now I can't tell myself Gale will be back soon. Another fracture splits across my glass heart. And I know it's unfixable.

A snap of a branch behind me yanks me back into reality. I draw my bow in the direction of the noise, but it's all wrong. I feel like I'm moving in slow motion. My muscles are numb. My normally sharp hunters senses feel like they're being blocked out by an unseen force. My head swims through a sea of thoughts, none of them related to the reality of the moment that I'm living right now. Only then do I notice the sharp pain in my lower calf. I look down to see a venomous snake with it's fangs deep in my flesh. I know I'll never make it back to my home before I pass out. I feel venom spreading through my veins, and just as my vision begins to darken, I see a figure come towards me. I don't hear or see anything, but I feel myself being lifted up by a strong pair of arms.

The familiar scent of pine envelopes me.

Snakes. The rays of the friendly sun begin to twist and move, as if distorting my vision. Then I realize that the rays of the sun have begun to turn into snakes which slither towards me. Every one of my instincts tell me to move, run, scream, anything. But I am paralyzed and as if I have an out of body experience, I see the snakes devour my body, their scales glinting harsh light that blinds me. Eventually I can see again and see President Snow before me. His snake eyes devouring my soul, his tongue flicking in and out of his mouth, which drips blood. My blood. The reeking smell fills my nostrils and I see him bleed. Blood pours from his eyes, ears, mouth, nose.

I awaken and scream and thrash until I realize where I am. I'm back in my room in Haymitches house, and I am not surrounded by snakes. Instead I am wrapped in a cocoon of warmth from my plush blankets. I don't see anyone, but I feel self conscious. I'm not wearing any pants, which must have been removed in order to treat my wounds. I steal a peek beneath my covers. Bandages cover my entire left leg, which I quickly rip away only to discover multiple snake bites, still oozing pus with a slight greenish tint. I would have died for sure if he hadn't saved me. But what was he doing in the woods?

I quickly sit up, and immediately regret my actions. Spots dance before my eyes as the world swims in waves beneath me. I close my eyes and try to take deep breaths, but eventually fall back in bed. I wait for what feels like an eternity before trying to get up again, this time slowly. I feel dizzy, but less so than before. I take it slow, and manage to stand, even if it means clinging to the bedpost. I inch forward until I'm clutching the doorway, but I'm shaking. I fall to my knees but cant force myself to get up. I curl up into a little ball on the floor and weep. I know I'm weak, but to the point that I can't stand? I'm a victor.

Maybe it's stupid, but I bear crawl along the floor, digging my fingers into the rough fibers of the carpet beneath me and pull myself out into the hallway. I manage to get on my hands and knees and slowly crawl to the stair case. I force myself to sit on the edge of the stairs, and lower myself down, one step at a time. By the time I reach the bottom of the stairs, I'm sweaty and my knuckles are white. The world swims before my eyes and I feel bile trying to force itself up my throat. I painfully swallow and try to stand. Before I know it I'm collapsed on the floor again, screaming in agony and frustration until I feel a needle piercing my back. I try to catch a glimpse of the person hovering over me, but the medicine from the needle knocks me out in seconds.

In my unconsciousness, I hear murmuring and whispers. Light dances before my eyes. I can tell I'm half awake, but keep tiptoeing around the border between consciousness and unconsciousness. Eventually my mind surrenders to the drug that mixes with my blood, but I force my muscles to keep thrashing in my empty dreams.

After hours of battling with my drugged state, I fall into deep unconsciousness and blackness as dark as the inky night sky blinds me. Images imprint themselves in my mind but I cant see them. Am I crazy? My senses go from alert to numb and my mind wanders until the drug yanks me back to a numbing state, as if I'm on a leash. But I'm no animal.

Or am I?


"Hey, Catnip?"

So I was right. I'm relieved to hear his voice, yet confused. Why was he in the woods? Before I say anything, I try to figure out where I am. I force my eyes open but light streams into my eyes and I have to squint to see Gales face. I sit up in my bed and realize I'm back in my room in my house, my limbs loosely bound to my bed. My vision clears and I can finally see Gale. It's morning, and he's sitting in a chair next to my bedside, his elbows propped on the pillow next to mine. Did he stay with me all night? He definitely doesn't look tired, but his face has a weathered, beaten down look to it.

"Hi. How long have you been here?" I ask.

"Not long," he says, "I only came here a few hours ago to make sure you didn't hurt yourself… because I don't want you hurt…"

I'm moved. I don't love him the way he may love me, but I still care. I've been scared that I'd lost Gale forever, that day in the woods. But now I know that he still cares. Gale will always be my rock. Strong and solid, despite our conditions. But sharp. He has fight in him that I don't need. He would be perfect for Madge.

"Oh. Then who was here all night?" I ask. I must have been really frantic as venom and drugs caused me to hallucinate and fight.

"Finnick." He says, a twinge of… hurt in his voice? "When I got here in the morning he was still awake, watching you. Said he never slept until early morning anyways." Gale says the last part sarcastically. We both know why Finnick never sleeps. He's busy doing other things until early morning. Yet after finding him downstairs a few days ago, I wonder if there's a different reason that he doesn't sleep. I also wonder why Finnick would bother to watch me, why he would care. Knowing what we'll have to do later, I feel it would be better not to let myself get close to him, to care, even a little. Maybe I could keep myself from getting hurt that way.

"Huh…" I say, lost in thought. "Where is he now? Oh… never mind. I probably shouldn't be up doing things now…"

Gale nods in agreement, but I feel a giggle surface to my mouth and bounce off my tounge.

"I saw you." I say, and Gale really looks confused, but I don't let him wonder what I mean. "With Madge."

Gale seems to realize what I'm talking about, and he looks away. But I still see the little smile on his face. "I needed to sell strawberries to her father. Its nothing."

"Liar," I tease, "Come on. You two would be good together. It seems right."

His smile fades slightly and he turns his head back in my direction, but doesn't make eye contact. "Yeah, but it wouldn't be perfect." He says, and the hurt in his voice is almost tangible. But I hear the hope in it. What he hopes for, I don't know.

"Nothing's ever perfect." I say.

"Yeah." He agrees.

"But still, you should go after her. I see the way she looks at you."

"I don't know…" He says, obviously uncomfortable with me trying to set him up with someone else.

"Well then you should go find out if I'm right. And I am right." I say, challenge in my voice, my eyes.

"Right now?" He asks, "Shouldn't I stay here with you?"

"It's alright, I'll be fine. And thanks for rescuing me in the woods." I say, but Gale just nods,gets up and slowly heads to the door. I decide maybe I'll ask him about that later. Just before he leaves, I stop him. "Actually, could you send in Finnick. I want to talk to him."

"Alright, just don't hurt yourself, Catnip." He says, and exits the room.

I lie back in bed, wondering what I want to say to Finnick, why I even wanted to talk to him in the first place. And I curse myself in my head. Didn't I tell myself not to get close to Finnick? But he was willing to stay here all night with me, I should atleast thank him, right? I keep wondering and questioning myself in my mind. Lately, my judgement has been so clouded, it scares me. It's like a fog has seeped into my mind and clouds in my head and fills my lungs and pierces my heart and freezes my nerves. Ever since the games, I've felt… afraid. Different really, and I can hardly describe it. Finnick only makes things worse. First he comforts me and shields me from my sadness, then blocks me out, and now he cares… I don't know. Having so much free time to think causes my mind to wander when I don't want to. Before, I had focus. My focus was food. My sister. Us.

A knock on the door brings me back from my thoughts. "Come in" I say.

The door slowly opens and Finnick walks in. He really does look exhausted. Dark circles have imprinted themselves beneath his eyes, and his hair looks like a rats nest. But his eyes are clear… and doubtful. I wonder what Gale said to him, but I figure I don't want to know. He plasters a small smile to his face, but he's acting so cautious. He hangs near the doorway, and I try relaxing a bit. Thankfully, he does too. Finnick walks over to Gales chair and sits down.

"Feeling better?" He asks, real concern in his voice. His voice is so soft, soothing. Nothing like the seductive purr he uses in the Capitol or around people in general. I also hear slight hurt, pain. I wonder how he can keep the constant pain out of his voice around those in the Capitol. He smells like the sea, or maybe it's just the salt of tears.

"I guess. Gale said you stayed here last night?" I ask softly.

"Yeah. Everyone said you were thrashing around from the venom and drugs mixing but I knew better. No victor leaves the Games fully sane. And I… was worried… about you." He says the last sentence slowly, cautiously, fearfully. Like a rabbit sniffing a snare trap.

"Thanks…" I say, not sure of myself. Why would he care? Why does he sound so scared? So concerned? I'm nearly 100% sure that he doesn't act this way around other women. "But why would you worry, we barely know each other."

I regret those words. They imply that I want him to tell me things about himself, that maybe I don't care about him, hate him, maybe. and he looks so fearful. But why? "Well we'll be getting to know each more than we want eventually." He says, a tease in his voice. I see his Capitol mask slip on. I know what he's implying, but I don't care, oddly. It has to happen anyways, and it comforts me that he doesn't want this to happen either.

"Well… thanks." I say. "I wish I didn't always have to sleep alone, though. It always makes me scared, but obviously to violent to stay in my own home unless I'm injured." I can tell he knows what I'm implying, but he doesn't say anything. I guess I will. "You know, maybe we could help keep each other's nightmares away."

"Are you sure that that's really… appropriate?" He says. He looks so uncomfortable in his own skin right now that its almost hilarious, if it weren't for the terrified look on his face. But I can't help it. I feel a laugh bubble in my chest and force itself out of my mouth. I laugh to the point where I can hardly breathe.

"You know, Finnick, you're about the last person I would expect to care about appropriateness around women." The words fall out of my mouth before I can stop them, and I immediately regret them. They sound so harsh and full of judgment, and it isn't even his fault. I see the hurt in his eyes and shut my mouth. "I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"It's okay. I deserve it. Why don't you just get some rest now? Hopefully your leg will heal soon. I should go." He says, and I feel like beating myself up for my tactlessness. Finnick walks up to leave, but I want to make things right.

"Look Finnick, I didn't mean it. I know it's not your fault, and that that isn't how you are. I don't know what Gale said to you before you came up here, but I don't think of you like that anymore."

The look on Finnicks face as he turns around is so full of disgust for himself it hurts me. "No. You have every right to think of me like that. It's true. I'm the Capitols slut. Maybe you know that I don't want it, but it makes me sick. I don't know how I live with myself, but I wish I'd died in the arena all those years ago."

With that, he's gone. But I still noticed the single tear that left his eye before he turned away from my sight.


AN: So what did you think? I honestly had no plan for this chapter. I just started typing and... well ended up here. So did you like it? Not so much? Please review and let me know because I really love to hear your opinions and I love constructive criticism. I could also use any inspiration you have, so PLEASE review to let me know, whether you liked it or not! c: