Harry and Ron caught Hermione before she even had a chance to sit down at breakfast.

"Is it true?" Ron asked. "Professor McGonagall said you got married for some sort of spell!"

"It's true."

"Who'd you get married to?" Harry asked. "And why?"

Hermione glanced around to make sure nobody else was listening in. "Professor Snape," she confessed. "Nobody told me what the words meant, just that I had to say them. I found out afterward. And as for why - apparently Professor Snape has two higglewumps and they tried to kill me."

Ron's jaw dropped. "You've got higglewumps after you?"

Harry elbowed him, hard. "More importantly, you're married to Snape?"

Hermione shrugged back the sleeve of her robe just enough to show them the still-slightly-glowing bracelet. Ron grabbed her hand and twisted it this way and that, inspecting the twine. "Good Lord, Hermione, he didn't even get you a ring, did he?"

She shrugged, pretending she didn't care. "This is only temporary anyway. He said we just have to stay 'married' until he can kill off the higglewumps. In the meantime, I'm supposed to learn how to fight them."

Harry's forehead wrinkled, creasing his lightning-shaped scar. "I'm still confused why you'd have to marry him."

Ron squeezed Hermione's hand before letting go. "Higglewumps are bound to a specific pure-blood house, so they can't kill anyone of that line. If they manage to catch you once and you're not protected, though, they will keep coming after you." He shuddered. "They don't show up in magical history as much as you'd think, because they can turn invisible, but a lot of famous historical wizards died mysterious deaths in ways that look like someone could have sicced a higglewump on them. They're assassins, and they're damn near impossible to kill."

"Great," Hermione said. "I may be stuck being married forever."

"Beats being dead," said Ron with a weak attempt at a grin.

Harry looked at him. "So if you had to choose between dying and marrying Snape . . ."

A stricken look crossed Ron's face. "God, Hermione, I'm so sorry!"

Yeah, this will be fun.