Hi!

Sorry that this is a few days late - I've been working like crazy! So I thought I'd treat you to a long chapter that is, for all intents and purposes, mostly fluff.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not mine!


Chapter 7

"You don't actually have to change your name though, do you?" Kate asked incredulously, "Surely you could just write under a fake name?"

They were sat at their kitchen table eating breakfast together. Rick, for once, had no morning classes, so they were relaxing together before he had to leave for work.

"I don't have to. But part of me wants to." He answered. She furrowed her brow at his response, and, after a few seconds, when he was clearly not going to offer any further explanation she decided to push him a little further.

"Why?" She had a sip of her coffee, the one small cup she was allowed a day, and kept the mug tucked between her hands. The heating in their apartment wasn't great, so she was using it to keep her hands warm.

"I suppose I'm just fed up of being Ricky Rodgers," He explained. He avoided her eye contact, apparently finding his empty plate more interesting. "I never had many friends, in fact you were probably the first real friend I ever had, and if you ignore my two step-father's who hated me it was just Mom and I whilst I was growing up." He looked up at her now, and she was taken aback slightly by the unshed tears in his eyes.

"Rick,-"

"Everything is changing, and I'm about to be a published writer and, more importantly, someone's father. And I'd like to be different. To leave the loser who had his head shoved in the toilet on the first day at boarding school behind and to just be better." He chucked mirthlessly to himself, "I'd never even thought about it until they asked me to think of a better surname at my meeting with them, but since then I've thought about it a lot, and I really want to do it."

Kate simply stared at him, unsure how to respond. Throughout their relationship Rick had always played the joker, but she knew it was just a front he put on. It was rare he would open up about his own feelings, despite his constant need to make her open up about how she felt. She was so glad he trusted her though, so happy that he could tell her these things.

Kate got up out of her chair and moved to his side of the table. He pushed his chair out from the table but remained seating, clearly having guessed her intentions. She sat on sideways on his lap, so she could still look at him easily, and put her arms around his neck.

"Why didn't you tell me you felt like this?" She asked gently, eyes searching his.

"They asked me on the day your mom died, it didn't seem as important then."

"Rick, you should have told me. You're important too." He'd done this before, hidden his own worries to help her feel better about her own, and she hated it.

"It wasn't anywhere near as important as what's been happening, I didn't want to-"

"No, Rick. Don't do that. Never feel like you can't talk to me. Please." She implored him. He nodded in response and rest his forehead against her temple.

"Sorry. I didn't mean for things to get so serious at breakfast." He said quietly, and he pressed a kiss at her cheek.

"I asked, so technically it's my fault. So," Kate pulled away from him a little to look at him again, and she was pleased that the tears had gone. "Do you have any ideas?"

"For my new name?" She nodded in response, "Well I'd keep Richard, but I do have a new idea for my surname."

"Which is?" She asked expectantly.

"Castle." He answered simply. He looked at her, and watched as she seemed to consider the name.

"Well, I for one loved Ricky Rodgers. He was sweet, and so much more than anyone ever expected of him. And, by the way, I totally would have beat up the jerks who dunked your head in the toilet if I'd known you then."

"Ah yes, being a 13 year old who had a 10 year old girl fighting their battles for him would totally have improved my street cred." He joked. She rolled her eyes at him, not dignifying him with a response.

"I'll love Richard Castle too." She assured him , and she leant forward and kissed him, and as she pulled back, she continued. "So will the baby."

"Speaking of the baby, have you decided if you want to know if we are having a mini me or you or me yet?"

They had an appointment early that coming afternoon, and Rick knew Kate had been unsure if she wanted to know if they were having a girl or a boy. She had been so set on it being a surprise until Johanna had died, and now she seemed very conflicted.

"Not sure yet, I'll probably decide when we are there. As long as that's ok with you."

"Anything you need, Kate." He hugged her tighter. Well - as tight as he could given their position and her baby bump. "I should get ready for work."

"Just five more minutes." She rested her head on his shoulder and melted into him.

"Five more minutes it is."


"Can we find out if it's a girl or a boy?" Kate asked, without moving her eyes away from the screen of the ultrasound machine in front of her. Rick was sat next to her, holding her hand, and her midwife was level with her stomach. The older woman, looked at Kate slightly skeptically.

At their last scan, only four weeks ago just before New Year, Kate had declined wanting to know if the baby had been a boy or a girl, claiming that she had wanted it to be a surprise at the birth. At the time, her main motivation had been to wind up her parents, knowing that her mom in particular was quite impatient and wanted to purchase gender appropriate gifts for her grandchild.

"You can't dress the poor thing in lime green or yellow for the first few months of it's life!"

She had delivered the line with a flair that rivalled Martha's attempts to guilt them into finding out the sex. Martha had been, and still was, convinced the child was a girl, citing an old mother's tale about the shape of Kate's bump. Johanna on the other hand, was sure the baby was a boy. She had no 'proof' as Martha seemed to think she had, but she simply said:

"I just see you with a son."

So much had changed since then. In the week since her mother's funeral Kate hadn't heard anything from her father. She had tried to call him, but he never answered the phone, and on the two occasions she had tried to go and see him he hadn't been in.

Kate wished she had found out the sex of the baby when she was offered just one month ago. It wouldn't have changed anything, not by any means, but her mother would have gone to her grave knowing if she was going to have a granddaughter or a grandson. And to Kate that was everything. The thought of it was tearing her apart, no matter how much Rick tried to explain to her that their parents had understood their decision for it to be a surprise.

Nevertheless, Kate needed to know now. She needed to know if she was going to have a son or a daughter. It wouldn't fix anything, not by a long shot, but it would help somehow. She was sure of that.

"I know last time I said we didn't want to know," Kate continued quietly. She moved her gaze away from the screen to look at the midwife. "But I've changed my mind." She cringed slightly at the way she had worded it, knowing it wasn't just her decision, but relaxed when she felt Rick squeeze her hand tighter than he had already been holding it. His silent reassurance that he was happy with whatever she decided. She had mentioned before the appointment that she might ask, at the time still unsure of what she truly wanted. It was only when the image of the baby appeared on the screen of the ultrasound machine that made up her mind.

Rick, as ever, said he was happy with whatever made her happy. Kate was sure she could live one hundred lifetimes and never truly deserve him.

The midwife smiled and nodded in response. At the beginning of the appointment she had mentioned to Kate that her blood pressure was up and if there had been any stress in her life lately. Kate had explained about her mother's death, although not in detail, and about her decision to not go back to college this semester. The midwife, although clearly taken aback by the answer, had offered her sympathies but explained that a high blood pressure during pregnancy was dangerous, and that she would have to be careful.

She seemed to understand that this was not a simple change of heart, but it was very important to the young woman in front of her.

"Of course, let's just see if the baby is co-operating." She moved the wand over Kate's stomach again, and Kate watched as the image on the screen changed again. The midwife chuckled slightly, "Well, luckily, the baby isn't shy at all." She joked.

"They must get that from you, babe." Kate joked as she turned to Rick, she smiled at the look of fake indignation on his face.

"You two ready?" The midwife drew their attention back to her and the screen next to her. Rick and Kate nodded in response. "You are having a little girl." She beamed at them.

"A girl? Really?" Kate was in awe, and she couldn't stop the happy tears that leaked from her eyes. She turned to Rick again, and was not surprised to see he was crying too. "Rick - we're having a girl!" She leant in and kissed him, probably a little too passionately for the setting.

"A girl. Wow." He whispered, slightly dumbfounded. Kate couldn't help but laugh at her usually eloquent boyfriend.

"I'll give you guys a minute," the midwife said moved from her side of the bed Kate was lying on. "Then we'll get you cleaned up and I'll print you off some more pictures." She left the room quickly, knowing she wouldn't get a response from the young couple still smiling at each other.


It wasn't until later when she was alone that Kate realised that the fact she was having a daughter meant her mother had been wrong. The midwife had of course explained that sometimes the ultrasounds were misleading, and it could never be guaranteed until the baby was born. She had however told them both that she never got it wrong - and was very confident that Rick and Kate were having a little girl.

Kate had lost track of time, caught in her own thoughts, when Rick walked through the door early that evening.

"Sorry, Kate. Professor Nichols wouldn't let me leave. That man never stops talking. Once we've eaten we'll head straight over to your parent's place." He spoke as he took of his coat and hung it up, dropping his bag on the floor in the process. When he had no response from his girlfriend he turned and saw her sat on the sofa. She was sat with one hand at her mouth, worrying her thumbnail between her teeth, and the other hand over her stomach, moving in soothing circles over what he assumed were their daughter was moving.

Their daughter. They were having a girl.

"Kate?" He walked over and sat next to her, only getting her attention when he placed his hand on her shoulder. She jumped slightly, and then smiled sheepishly when she looked at him.

"Sorry, I was just thinking." She leant in and kissed him, "How was class?" She asked as she pulled away.

"Ok I guess. Kind of boring. Are you ok?" He was worried about her, which he always was, but she had been quiet since they left the hospital earlier that day. She nodded, seemingly not wanting to go any further. "You're not," He started his question, unsure how to continue, "You're not disappointed the baby is a girl are you?"

"What? No! What makes you think that?" She pulled away from him, shrinking into her side of the sofa. She crossed her arms as she glared at him, something which used to scare him a little, but the baby bump made it look kind of adorable. Not that he would ever tell her that.

"You've just been quiet since we found out." He reached out and put his hand on her knee, "I know your mom was sure the baby was a boy, and that was part of the reason you wanted to find out."

She sighed in response, and he knew he had hit the nail on the head. They sat in silence, Rick knowing that she would talk when she was ready. She ran her hands through her hair, pushing the increasingly uncontrollable mass from her face, before grabbing the hand he had on her knee between both of hers.

"I'm not disappointed. I'm so happy. It's just," Her voice caught in her throat, and her eyes filled with tears just like they did every time she spoke about her mom. "I thought, maybe, if it was a boy that somehow I'd feel closer to her." She removed one of her hands, which were still clasped around his, to wipe the tears from her face. "Which is ridiculous, I know, but that's what I thought."

"Oh, Kate. It's not ridiculous at all." He moved closer to her and pulled her into a hug. She leant heavily into him, and pressed her face into the side of her neck.

"If this was a story, or a movie, she would have been right." She whispered, "It would have been put down as some kind of sign that she was still here or something. Still a part of all of this."

"She is still a part of this, Kate." He assured, pressing a kiss into the top of her head for good measure. "And she would have forgotten all about being right or wrong the moment she held her granddaughter for the first time."

"I still can't quite believe she won't be here for all of it. That she's just gone. Sometimes the thought just swallows me whole." She moved her head to look at Rick a little better, "I'm so glad I have you. If it wasn't for you it would just be Dad and I, and I'd be on my own." She swallowed thickly, trying to will away the tears that wouldn't go away. "I don't want to be on my own."

"You won't be." He promised fiercely, "You'll have me and Mini KBex to keep you company."

"Don't call her that!" She grimaced. Rick had delighted in the nickname Maddie had given her when he first heard it, especially when he realised how much she disliked it. "We should probably try a little harder to come up with a name now we know we're having a girl. And I can categorically say that we are not referring to her as Mini KBex."

They had discussed names a little bit, but hadn't found anything that both of them loved. In the last new weeks it had not been a priority. Kate now found herself wanting everything to be ready for the baby even though there were still three months to go. The books she had read, at Rick's instance, called it nesting. Kate was lost in thoughts of cribs and changing tables when Rick spoke.

"I did have one idea," He pulled back a bit to look at her a little clearer. "For the baby's name. I've been thinking about it for a couple of weeks."

"That long? Why didn't you say anything?" She suddenly felt like she was right back the beginning of the day, trying to make him understand it wasn't just her thoughts or feelings that matter.

"I was trying to think of names that went with Castle, so when I eventually raised the idea of changing my name again I could win you over with a fantastic baby name idea. Of course you beat me to it this morning, and it didn't seem like the right time to mention it."

"Well tell me then!" She pulled completely away from him this time, although she kept her hands in his. She sat next to him, and he was glad to see the excitement in her eyes instead of the sadness that had been there only minutes before.

"I came across the name Regan in one of the baby name books. It can be used for either a girl or a boy, and it means regal. Or according to the Irish - Little King or Queen." She was staring at him, and he couldn't tell from her face if she was impressed or not, so he kept talking. "So, I thought about it again today after we found out she was a girl, and I thought Regan Castle could kind of mean Little Queen of the Castle."

He was still faced with her silence, and this time he decided to back track.

"It's stupid I know, we can go through the book together-"

"No! I love it. It's different, but not too different." She was smiling brightly at him now, tears gathering in her eyes for a totally different reason than they had been earlier. "Regan Castle." She whispered, as if she was trying to get used to they way it sounded.

"I thought as well we could give her your mom's name, as a middle name, if you wanted to." He'd mentioned just before Johanna's funeral that he was ok with naming the baby after her if they had a girl, but Kate had shot him down. Claiming she didn't want her child to live with the burden of her dead grandmother's name.

"I like that idea." She whispered again, "We just named our daughter, Rick." She laughed, and he knew he had never heard anything so beautiful.

"We did." He leant forward and kissed her, which she returned reverently. The kiss quickly became a battle for dominance as the passion between them built quickly. He pulled back from her a little, only enough so he could talk. "Dinner could wait, right?" He quirked his eyebrow at her, and she giggled in response.

"Definitely." She kissed him again, and allowed him to pull her up from the sofa. She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards their bedroom.


Kate was not aware she had dozed off until she woke up to the feeling of him kissing the back of her head.

"Wake up sleepy head." Her response to his gentle probing as a groan, which she was sure was very unladylike. She rolled onto her back and turned to her boyfriend, who was lying behind her and looking very proud of himself.

"Stop looking so smug." She slapped his chest lightly. He caught her hand and brought it up to his lips so he could press a small kiss to her fingers. Any further back and forth between them was disrupted by a loud growl from her stomach

"We should eat so we can go see your Dad." He said as he leant on one elbow over her.

"Do we have to?" She asked, aware of the petulant tone in her voice. She wanted her Dad to be ok, and she was so worried about him, but the last thing she needed today was to see him in a drunken stupor, especially when she'd had such a good day. All Kate wanted to do in this moment was eat something, and stay in bed with her boyfriend for the rest of the evening.

"I could go by myself. I don't mind." He offered.

"I know you don't. And that is one of the many, many reasons I love you." She wrapped one of her arms up around his neck and pulled him down so she could kiss him. She smudged her lips over the seam of his. "Now, feed me and our daughter, and then we'll go. Together."

She couldn't stop the small giggle that escaped her as he saluted her, before leaving their bed, and then their bedroom totally naked so he could cook. She leant back against her pillows, closing her eyes, determined to rest a few minutes longer before she got dressed. She smiled as she felt the baby kicking away inside of her. She smoothed her hands over her bump and whispered to her little girl.

"Hi, Regan. We are so lucky to have your daddy, baby girl." She felt herself choke up suddenly, but was determined not to cry as she spoke to her child. "So very lucky."


Well look at that! The gender and the name in one chapter.

I struggled with the name for a while, I dread to think how I'll handle naming my future children if this is any indication! But I'm happy with what I ended up with.

I decided that I'd go with the idea of Johanna being wrong about the baby's gender, instead of the usual trope that 'a mother always knows.'

I'd like to know if any of you are interested in reading a series of oneshots that are prequels to this story. I've got a few ideas - and it would mean more Johanna for those of you who didn't want me to kill her off in this! The first one shot would be Rick meeting the parents for the first time!

Please review and let me know if you would be interested in the series of oneshots :)

Until next time!