CHAPTER SEVEN - LIES
"Now that's a lie if I've ever heard one. James," tentatively as if he were unsure if James would react violently, Jack placed two callused fingers under the other man's chin and turned his face up to meet his eyes, "What, in the name of all that is holy, is your 'punishment' for?"
Staring into Jack's rum-colored eyes, James felt compelled to share at least the tiniest seed of truth, but there was no way he'd speak about his...problem. "Impure thoughts."
"Lad," his eyes remained riveted to the captain's as he spoke, "every man has impure thoughts. 'specially common folk like you and I."
James shrugged, determined not to say another word that night.
Jack fell asleep eventually. James didn't. He had a lot on his mind. He wanted to open up to someone, but he wouldn't be quick to forget the incidents with Phillips. It was confusing. He didn't know who to take orders from: the lieutenant under whose command he'd grown up, or his current captain. Habit decided for him. These thoughts had been getting worse with all the fuss the pirate was making. It was like a reflex now.
When they were alone, Jack made him wear the sleeveless shirt. He could often catch the captain staring openly as his arms. New cuts would be noticed.
He couldn't leave the cabin, he was sure that would wake the captain. Moving as quietly as he could, James drew the blade from his boot and rolled up the hem of his shirt. He regarded the muscles of his chest critically, looking for the best place. He found a section he was sure wasn't near any major veins and pressed the cool blade to it. The blood coated the blade slick as he cut again and again.
When he was finished, four long, thin scratched crossed his chest. He realized every time he strained those muscles, the scab would crack and rip. Easy access to pain all day. He just hoped he wouldn't bleed through his shirt. On such a thought, he realized he would need to bandage himself in case Jack rose from his light slumber. He wrapped several lengths of bandages across his midriff.
He lay down in his hammock and slept without dreaming.
