Chapter 7 THUMP
Derek continued to make steady progress as the day went on; he was bored and frustrated stuck in the room, especially now confined to the bed. And Meredith hadn't been in for over an hour so he didn't even have anything beautiful to look at. (His mom had gone for coffee so he wasn't disregarding her...)
He kept his eyes focussed on the monitor recording his Oxygen levels, the rhythm of the beeps playing over and over like a stuck cassette, his stare fixed on the 95% that flashed across the screen, it had gone up 1% in the past hour, but he needed more...
He couldn't help think how cute she looked that morning, all angry and annoyed at him for getting out of the bed, but he wasn't blind, he had noticed her reaction when he had appeared without his top on, the minute he knew she was out there he had made the decision to leave the t shirt he planned to wear in the bathroom and ask for another when he got out. Her eyes had changed, grew more intense, their colour had deepened – lust...god he hoped so!
He didn't understand what came over him when he thought of her, he wasn't confident, hell he was never normally even flirty but in her presence something inside him changed, his pulse rate quickened and his heart felt a new feeling that he couldn't quite put his finger on.
He wanted her. So he needed out of this place as quickly as possible so he could pursue her, she wouldn't be his doctor for much longer and then he could try – he was determined when he set his mind to it, with anything, and Dr Meredith Grey would be no different.
So if bed rest was what she prescribed, then bed rest it was, besides the quicker he got out of this bed the quicker he could work on getting Meredith into his own...it was wrong to think like that, he knew it was, but she was just so mesmerising. But it wasn't just about that he was scared to admit it but he wanted more, so much more.
Meredith was exhausted, apparently dreaming about gorgeous fire-fighters was physically and emotionally draining, she had had more sleep last night then the past few weeks yet she still felt exhausted – her body might have stopped but her brain most definitely hadn't.
However the dream wasn't her only problem. Her head was now racing with thoughts of half dressed Derek, dripping with water as he caressed his toned abdomen with his towel, the sight of his toned, muscular arms reaching up to run his fingers through his perfect, black, beautiful mane of hair – imagining what it would be like for those arms to pick her up and lay her back onto the bed...
Meredith Grey didn't do fantasies or ever feel like this over a guy – especially a guy who happened to be her patient, yet she couldn't rid her mind of thoughts that only centred on him.
As sat in the cafeteria, her head rested on the table trying to muster the energy to take a few short steps over to the coffee cart and get her caffeine hit she tried to think of anything but Derek.
She needed to shop for groceries for food – and beer she definitely needed beer.
The way the water slid down his rippling six pack.
Ask Cristina to go to Joe's tonight.
His eyes beautiful blue orbs sparkling like no others she had seen before.
Clean the bathroom the bath must need scrubbing clean.
She should have offered him a sponge bath, ran her hands over his chest as she lathered up the bubbles.
Trash, the trash definitely needed taking out,
Oh to have snuck inside that shower with him, their bodies meeting as one beneath the scorching flow of water, her breasts pressed up against his chest, his hands running through her hair before he pushed her back against the cold tiles before pressing slow, sensual kisses along her jaw line, as his excitement grew and she could feel the moans begin to creep over her body...Lieutenant Shepherd...
'Dr Grey? You look miles away' a soft caring voice said from above her, ridding Meredith of her thoughts in an instant.
'Mrs Shepherd.' She smiled as she raised her head up from the table and allowed her gaze to meet his mother's eyes as she felt the blush spread over her cheeks. She had been having porny, dirty thoughts about this women's son, and now her she was standing above her, smiling at her...she wouldn't know...unless she had moaned out loud – oh god please no!
'Please its Carolyn, Mrs Shepherd makes me sound old. I was just going to grab myself a coffee, would you like one?'
Oh my god the women is a saint and I'm dreaming of doing the mcnasty with her son, I am a whore I am a whore I am a whore.
'Thanks that would be great.' She heard herself say as she watched her head off to join the queue, saving Meredith the task of moving her feet, one in front of the other.
'I wasn't sure how you took it so I guessed black. Michael used to take it black he said as a busy surgeon it was like his fuel, his own prescription to keep awake.' She smiled as she placed the cup down in front of Meredith and stood awkwardly for a few moments as she watched her lift up the cup and inhale the aroma of the medince before her.
'Black is perfect, thank you, do you...want to sit?' Meredith asked.
What are you doing, small talk with the mother.
'Oh yes dear, thank you that would be wonderful.' She sighed as she slid into the chair opposite Meredith, worry still evident on her face.
'He really is going to be ok you know.' Meredith offered, relieved to see a small smile spread back across her face.
'You don't know how much I appreciate hearing that right now Dr Grey.'
'It's Meredith, if you're Carolyn, then I'm meredith, it's my name and you should use it, Dr just sounds so formal and well...my name, its meredith, so you can call me that.'
'Did you breathe once in that sentence?' Carolyn laughed as she watched Meredith take her first sip of her drink.
'I'm sorry, I ramble, a lot, especially when I am nervous, I'm a fool I know!'
'Nervous? Why ever would you be nervous around me? It's not like I'm interviewing you to see if you are perfect for my son...'
'Interview...what...' Meredith spat as she began to choke on her coffee.
Oh my god she knows.
'Relax, sorry it was just a joke, got to try and find some light relief somewhere in all this mess.' She sighed as Meredith took in the women before her.
'Sorry to be nosey, you can tell me its none of my business if you wish but whose Michael?' Meredith asked, surprised at her question, but sensing that perhaps Mrs Shepherd – Carolyn- needed to talk.
'Hi was, is, always will be the love of my life.' She smiled as she lifted her hand up to her cheek and wiped a lone tear that had escaped.
'Oh crap, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you upset, or to say crap in front of you...crap' Meredith mumbled.
'It's quite ok dear, I've heard worse, 4 daughters and 2 sons tends to prepare you for it. Michael was my husband; he was a neuro surgeon over at Seattle Presbyterian Hospital.'
'Dr Michael Shepherd?' Meredith asked before the realisation of what Carolyn was telling her dawned on her. 'Oh.' She sighed as Carolyn continued.
'Until I met Michael I don't think I ever believed in love, the thump factor my friends used to call it, the way you feel when you spot someone for the first time and it feels like your heart is literally going to jump out of your chest, with Michael I had that every single day from the moment I met him, even now when I think of him.'
'I'm so sorry...Shepherd...I never made the connection.'
'It's Ok dear, you wouldn't need to make any connections, and Shepherd is a relatively popular name.'
'I don't know what to say, it must have been awful for you.'
'It was, still is, it's still so raw, it's been twenty six years ...and it still hurts as much today as it did when it first happened, and when you called about Derek and the fire, I just couldn't comprehend losing my boy too, it didn't bare thinking of.' She sobbed unable to control her tears now. 'I'm so sorry, I shouldn't be pouring my heart out to you, you're my son's doctor, I'm sorry.'
'Mrs Shepherd – Carolyn – its fine, really, if you need to talk...'
She took a deep breath before continuing.
'He was shot for his watch, I saved up for it, and two guys just shot him, because he wouldn't give it up. That's how Michael died. Snatched away from us, robbed of his life. She stuttered as she told the story. 'Derek's still angry, it's understandable.' She sighed as Meredith looked on with tears in her eyes, her heart breaking at the story unfolding before her.
'Aren't you?' Meredith asked as her eyes met with Mrs. Shepherd's across the table.
'I still can't sleep on his side of the bed, the mattress is wearing unevenly, but no, I'm not angry, not anymore.' She sighed.
'Im sorry...I'm so sorry if I scared you when I rang, Derek really wanted you here, I'm sorry for worrying you – on top of everything else you were worried about.'
'It's ok, really, you weren't to know...I'm sorry for turning your coffee break into something so deep, that was never my intention.'
'Its fine, I promise, thank you for sharing with me, thank you.' Meredith smiled as she stood up from the table.
'I need to check on your son now, see if he has followed orders and stayed in that bed. Do you want to come back with me?'
'I'd like that, thank you.' She smiled as she stood up and took Meredith by surprise and pulled her into a hug.
Meredith had never had so many hugs in one day, she wasn't a tactile person, but when Mrs. Shepherd engulfed her in her welcoming arms, it felt so nice, she was loving, she was a mom, a real mom.
'God wasn't scrimping when he made you dear.'
'Pardon?'
'You are one of life's beauties Meredith, inside and out, I can see that. She smiled as Meredith blushed at her kind words.
'Wow, urm...sorry I don't know what to say to that, I don't think anyone has ever said anything so lovely to me.' Meredith smiled, surprised to feel a tear escape her own eyes and fall silently onto her cheek.
'You deserve to hear wonderful things Meredith.' She smiled as she reached over and covered Meredith's hand with her own.
The pair walked side by side back to Derek's room, Mrs. Shepherd asked questions about her residency, how it was going, what her specialty would be – she was interested, genuinely interested. And Meredith did what she did best – she rambled on and on about her love of neuro as Mrs Shepherd looked on intently.
Meredith followed Mrs Shepherd back into the room and both women weren't surprised to find Derek sound asleep, his captivating blue eyes hidden from view, one hand rested across his chest, the other up around the back of his head supporting his neck. His head cocked to the side revealing a chiselled jaw line, and enthralling profile that held a story – a broken nose on so many would need fixing, but on him it just worked, it was one of the characteristics that made him who he was.
And he was striking.
THUMP THUMP THUMP...
