Chapter 7 - Answers Only Lead To More Questions

PAST - 2 MONTHS AGO

Damon watched the clock intently, the third hand slowly making it's way around. Tick, tick, tick, tick. Damon itched with every painstaking second. The second it struck 5pm, he practically jumped up from his seat, hastily piling his paperwork into a messy pile and throwing a few confidential files into the drawers in his desk and locking them.

"What is up with you?" Caroline asks from her desk, situated directly next to his.

"What? It's 5," Damon states.

"And? You've never left work on the dot in your life. You're always working late or staying behind to speak to sarge or work on some new case that's keeping you awake all night every night."

"I know, but I do have a life you know, Caroline. Maybe you should try it some time."

Caroline folds her arms and glares at him. Damon would recognise that pouty, intent look on her face anywhere. It's her, "You're not fooling me, Damon Salvatore," face.

"See you tomorrow," Damon says walking around his desk and starting towards the exist.

"Damon, whoever she is, say hi to her from me."

Caroline's words cause Damon to stop in his tracks. He keeps his back turned to her and simply calls over his shoulder, "Goodnight, Caroline," before heading for the elevator.

If there was anyone that was going to suspect something going on, Damon always knew it would be Caroline. They might not be the best of friends, but they've known each other for years and as partners they know each other inside and out. Plus, they spend so much time together that her picking up on Damon acting differently was inevitable. Luckily for him, the nature of his relationship with Caroline means she'd never interfere in his personal life and the only person that would do that is Stefan, who is currently at college. That means keeping the reason for his happy mood a secret is rather easy.

Once in his car Damon took out his phone, opened his call history and dialed the number that filled the entirety of it.

"Hello you."

The mere sound of that husky voice causes Damon's insides to melt every time he hears it.

"I'm just on my way back. Thought I'd pick up Chinese."

"Sounds like a plan."

The idiotic grin on Damon's face makes him look like a smitten young teenager in love and that's exactly what he feels like.

"Well, I'll get you the usual. See you in 20."


With a bag of Chinese food under his arm, Damon clumsily tries to maneuver his keys into the door of the apartment. The door swings open.

"Having trouble?"

Katherine stood in the doorway, leaning against the door frame, her lips twisted up in an amused grin.

"Thanks," Damon said stepping into the apartment and dumping the take out on the table.

He swung back around to drink Katherine in. Her rich, curls hung loosely around her shoulders and in the light of the lamp looked so dark that they looked black. Her pout was accentuated by a red lipstick and her stunning legs by the skinny black jeans she wore. Since the day Damon met her he saw the beauty within her, but the month that she'd been living with Damon has brought it to his attention even more so. A couple of new outfits and regular access to a bathroom is all that it's taken to take her from a reasonably pretty girl, to a stunning young woman.

"How was work?"

Katherine always asks how his day has been, sometimes out of politeness, but mostly because she's genuinely curious to know what Damon's day has consisted of. Particularly, since hers has been another uneventful day trapped in the apartment in front of the TV.

"Okay. Just a day of sorting paperwork."

Katherine usually never got more than that since part of Damon's job was maintaining the highest level or privacy and discretion. His cases are confidential and Katherine understands and respects that.

It's only been 8 hours since Damon last saw Katherine, but he's missed her so much in that time. It catches him by surprise how much he actually does miss her whenever he's apart from her. He knows he shouldn't feel that way, but in the month that he's known her he's gotten used to the fact that when it comes to her he's not in control of his emotions or actions. Which is also why she's living in his apartment instead of at a homeless shelter.

There were countless nights after he first brought her back home that he looked down at the number typed in on his phone, but he could never bring himself to make the call. He just couldn't. He couldn't report her to the authorities and let them get involved. She was 18, so technically an adult and therefore able to make her own decisions about where to live and what to do, but that didn't make it any easier. If he refused to help her she would've ended up back out on the streets and if he'd have made a call to get her some help, she likely would've ran from him. She made it clear from the get go how she felt about receiving help from anyone but Damon and he didn't want to risk scaring her away. But it wasn't just that. He knew Katherine wasn't telling him the whole truth about her background, about the events that led her to being on the streets and he had a feeling that she was in genuine danger. He couldn't explain how or why, but the look she got in her eye sometimes when his cell rang or there was a knock at the door...he recongised it as one of terror. Then there was the fact that she awoke in the night screaming, trapped amidst a nightmare from her past. She never told him what they were about and he didn't ask, but he soon got into the routine of holding her in his arms until she drifted back off to sleep.

He couldn't let her go then and he can't let her go now. He's grown so used to Katherine being a part of his life and he likes it that way. Instead of returning to a cold, empty apartment each night, he gets to return to a real home, to her. It's the reason why he watches the clock like a hawk everyday at work now - because he can't wait to get back home and see her. Damon is happier than he can recall being in a long time, but there was still a dark cloud looming over him. That dark cloud being the circumstances surrounding both he and Katherine.

She was still holding information back from him and she was hiding from the world as though she were a dirty little secret. Whenever Stefan came back into town from school, Damon would pay for her to stay in a hotel room, he had to lie about the reason he was so happy to Caroline and everyone else at work. He couldn't understand how or why it had grown to become such a dirty secret and whenever he thought about it, it gave him a migraine. Everything was so confusing that sometime over the last month he stopped questioning it so much, because questioning it was only ruining the joy he felt at being with Katherine.

Did it really matter who she was or where she came from? Did it matter that he had to hide her from the rest of the world if it meant she was in his life? The answer to those questions was probably yes, but Damon couldn't admit that to himself. Or rather, he didn't want to.

The two sat down at the table and began to eat.

"So what did you do today?" Damon asked, in the hope the answer would be different than it has been this past month.

"Oh you know...listened to music, watched TV, did some reading, tidied..."

Each time Katherine told him she felt awkward, because she knew what was coming.

Damon sighs. "Katherine, when are you going to get out there in the world? You're not a prisoner."

"I know and we've been through this."

"No, no," Damon said putting his chop sticks down and holding his hands up in the air. He didn't want to get so hung up on this, but for some reason he couldn't hold it in anymore. "You say you don't want to go out because you're afraid. Afraid of what? Your family? You told me most of them are dead and that the ones that are left live at the other side of the country."

"They do."

"So then why would you be afraid to go out of the house? You lived on the streets for years and they didn't find you. Why would they now?" Damon fixes his eyes on her intently.

Katherine hates it when this happens, when he gets so fixated and emotional about the questions she can't answer. She understands why since he's only human and it's in Damon's nature to seek answers, but she wishes he would just let it go. Katherine's life has never been this good and she wants to cling to it for as long as she can. Since the day she first arrived here, she knew it would only be temporary because one day Damon would reach his limit. She knows that there's only so long he can lie to himself and listen to his own excuses before he gets tired and it all consumes him until he can take no more. She hoped that day would be further away, but it seems closer than she would like to admit.

"Why do you keep doing this?" Katherine asks exasperated. "We keep going round and round in circles, Damon. If you can't let this go, I can't stay here."

"No! Okay? No!"

Damon's emotions have gone into overdrive in a nanosecond and he can't explain how or why. He'd been looking forward to getting back to Katherine all day and now he's ruining it.

With a deep breath he says, "I'm sorry, okay? I just-I'm not trying to pressure you. But I just want you to have a life. It's not normal to be locked up in this tiny apartment all day."

"I lived on the streets for over 5 years, being locked up in this tiny apartment is a lovely welcome from that."

Damon nods. "And I get that, I do. But sometimes I feel like some evil villain keeping his princess locked up in a tower and keeping her prisoner."

Katherine sits back into her chair and raises her eyebrows at him, a smile coming across her face. "Oh, so I'm your princess now, am I?"

Damon doesn't shy away from her and simply replies, "You know what I mean. I guess, I just didn't expect my life to ever be so..."

"Complicated?"

"Exactly." Damon bows his head.

"Everything's complicated, Damon," she says, her voice serious. "But you and me sat here together now eating dinner and talking...what's complicated about that?"

Damon looks up to meet her eyes and she smiles at him warmly. How can he argue with that? Because she's right. In these moments when the two of them are together, it's utterly uncomplicated. And it's because of that that he willingly chooses to ignore all of the unanswered questions, complex mysterious and expanding lies surrounding them.


After that all seems to be forgotten and Damon and Katherine eat, chat and laugh as though they're the only two people in the world. Katherine gets drenched in an excursion involving dishes and goes to change her clothes, which is when Damon gets a call from Stefan.

Stefan usually calls Damon daily just to check in, but their calls haven't been as regular lately since Damon's been distracted by Katherine and Stefan's been distracted by, well being a student amongst other things...

"Stefan, hey! How are ya, brother?"

The excitement in Damon's voice is apparent and Stefan greets his brother with the same warm welcome.

"Hey! I'm good! About you? You okay? Work good?"

"Yeah, yeah," Damon replies.

The two continue their conversation for a few minutes or so, attempting to catch up on lost time as best they can. They share the details of the events of the last week or so of their lives, both of them missing out one important detail or rather one important person.

"Actually, I have some time off in about 8 weeks."

"Again?" Damon could swear that he always seemed to have some sort of free period, charity day, reading week or something or other that meant he had time out.

Stefan chuckles. "You know how it is, brother. Work hard play hard, and I've been working really hard."

"I know, Stef. I'm proud of you." And he really means that.

Through the other side of the phone Damon hears a knock.

"Be right there!" Stefan calls out. "Sorry, Damon, I gotta go."

"Who's that? Your girlfriend?" Damon teases.

There's a moment silence at the other end of the phone, before Stefan hits back with, "I wish." Forced laughter escapes him and he mutters his goodbyes before hanging up in a rush.

Damon stares at the phone in confusion and then dismisses Stefan's strange behaviour with a shake of his head and amused smile.

"Was that Stefan?"

"Yeah," Damon replies turning to Katherine. She's changed into a pair of grey sweat pants and a baggy shirt of Damon's.

"I hope you don't mind, but I didn't have any clean shirts," Katherine says when she notices the recognition in Damon's eyes.

"It's fine. Looks like you could do with some more shirts. We should go out shopping and I'll buy you whatever-"

Katherine cuts him off with a shake of her head and Damon stops talking, not wanting to get into another argument.

Perching herself on the couch, Damon goes to sit beside her. Katherine's worn his clothes a few times and it catches him off guard how attractive he finds her when she does. To see a part of him entwined with her, for the scent of him to be mingled with the scent of her...it's almost erotic to Damon.

Katherine can feel Damon's eyes burning into her - something that she's gotten pretty used to by now. Each time he does it, she feels her heart race in her chest and she wonders if he's aware in the moments she stares at him. She doesn't think so, because she's always so much less obvious and discreet, but she wouldn't mind much if he did.

Damon's never experienced this level of attraction with someone before in his life. He's had a couple of long-term girlfriends and more casual girlfriends, all of which he had an attraction to, but nothing like this. The most contact he's had with Katherine is a touch of the hand or brush of thighs. The only time they have more is on the nights when she wakes up from her nightmares and even then she's so delirious and exhausted that Damon's not quite sure if she even remembers it the next morning. But of course, she does remember. Those nights that she always considered to be the worst have grown to become the best and there have been times where she's actually contemplated faking a nightmare just so she could feel Damon's arms around her.

Katherine's motivations when she first met Damon were simple. She was going to use him for protection. It was nothing more than survival, but it had grown to become so much more than that. Being with Damon did make her safe but it also made her feel light and tingly and excited and contented. It made her feel things that she's never quite experienced before and she finds herself regularly questioning whether or not it's normal. It's not exactly like she's ever had a mother or female friends to discuss these kinds of things with, so she has nothing to relate it to. Which is why at times it overwhelms her with terror and all she wants to do is run and run and run and never look back. She's pretty sure there will come a day when she does do that, because it's in her nature, but that day is not today.

She turns her head to meet Damon's eyes and he doesn't look away or even pretend that he hasn't been gazing at her for the last few minutes.

"Am I ever going to figure you out?" Damon asks, his intense eyes still on her.

Katherine smiles and twists her body so that it's pointing towards him. "Maybe some people aren't supposed to be figured out."

"Well, I'm going to figure you out if it's the last thing I do."

Damon doesn't say it to cause an argument or make her feel uncomfortable, it's him teasing her. But they still both know that he means it.

"I think you overestimate your abilities, Detective Salvatore."

Hearing Katherine call him that makes him feel strange, because when he's with her that's not who he is. Detective Damon is who he is at the station, but when he's here with her, he's just Damon.

"Okay, well, seeing as I know so little about you, I'll make you a deal. I get to ask one question and you have to answer honestly. No skating around the truth, no excuses or reasons why you can't tell me, just the truth."

"And why should I do that?" Katherine challenges.

"Because I've never lied to you about anything."

The playfulness in Katherine's eyes fades and they grow serious. Damon's right, he's never lied to her and yet she's lying to him all the time about pretty much everything. She can do this one thing for him.

"Okay. What's the question?"

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

Katherine's brow furrows. Why would he want to know that?

"Remember, the truth," Damon says.

"No. I don't have any brothers or sisters." Katherine states.

Katherine is an impeccable liar, so much so that even Damon has struggled to distinguish between the lies and truths she tells him. But this time he can see in her eyes and hear in her voice that this is the truth.

"Thank you."

His gratitude takes her by surprise and makes her realise just how much the little pieces of honesty he gets from her are. She makes an effort to be as authentic in her communications with him as possible, but that's rather difficult when she has no choice but to hide her dark and haunting past from him. Sometimes she wonders if she should just tell Damon the truth. What's the worst that could happen? Maybe Damon could even protect her from him. Maybe Damon could put him behind bars. But then she knows that's nothing more than wishful thinking. He's too cunning, too clever, too dangerous and she can't put Damon at risk. He's a good person and he doesn't deserve to be hurt and especially not because of her.

She can already see how much Damon is suffering on a daily basis and she understands better than anyone how easy it is to crumble under the weight of the lies, deceptions, manipulations and secrets. She herself has had to resign herself to knowing that she will never fully understand the truth as to why he's been hunting her her entire life. And that's why she understands better than anyone what Damon is going through - because once she was the one going crazy in pursuit of answers and explanations. But over the years she had to force herself to accept that the truth matters less than survival. Answers would mean nothing if she was dead. And answers aren't always enough anyway, often they only lead to more questions and more heartache. She wishes that Damon could understand that too, but he hasn't had the same experiences that she has had, so she's not sure if he will ever reach the same realisation that she has.


PRESENT DAY

The text tone on Damon's cell goes off every minute or so, begging for him to read it and each time it goes off Damon slowly returns to consciousness. A series of groans and moans escaping him, Damon reaches for his cell from the nightstand, but it's not there. Flailing around his hands clumsily in the bed, he finds his cell half way down the mattress. He must've fallen asleep with it in his hands.

His eyes still sleepy, he squints at the screen and sees that it's a message from the Lieutenant.

"Take as much time as you need and keep my updated."

Damon is relieved. At least his text last night has bought him some time. Although, he's not naive enough to believe "take as much time as you need" really means take as much time as you need. Loosely translated it means, take a couple of days and return to work ready to go. A simple response of his gratitude and agreement to keep him updated is all Damon can bring himself to send.

He notices the scattered remains of the note from Katherine that he ripped up last night and pitifully gathers the pieces together filled with regret. He knows it's pathetic to regret destroying it, since it means nothing. All it is is empty, meaningless final words and a harsh reminder of the pointless sacrifices he's made these last three months for someone he believed cared for him as much as he cared for her. Despite only being awake for 5 minutes, Damon wishes for sleep to take him once more to put an end to these relentless questions and inner turmoil.

Glancing at his phone again he notices it's after midday and despite wanting and needing more sleep, Damon forces himself to get out of bed. After relieving his bladder, he heads to the kitchen and pours a glass of water. It's the first morning in his adult life that he hasn't sat down to eat breakfast. Food is the last thing on his mind, as is cleaning by the state of the apartment. Opening the lid to his Mac, Damon switches it on. He's not sure what today is going to bring or what he's supposed to do, but turning his laptop on seems as good idea as any.

When he realises he's still dressed in the clothes he was wearing yesterday, he goes to his bedroom to change. As he's returning back to his laptop there's a knock at the apartment door. He doesn't rush to answer it, assuming that it's Caroline coming round to check on him on her lunch break. He's not ready to face her. How could he even begin to explain all of this to her? He slowly walks back into his room just in case she decides to peer in through the window - which Caroline wouldn't refrain from doing. The door knocks a second time and a third time. Jeez, he knew Caroline was stubborn but when will she get a hint?

Eventually Damon cracks and grumpily stomps towards the door in a huff.

"Caroline, for god sake, I'm-?"

Damon is stunned into complete silence. The woman standing at the door isn't Caroline. She stands there smiling up at him and for a few moments Damon is paralysed in utter dismay. Just as she's about to speak, Damon lets out a chuckle of sheer relief and joy and runs forward to take her into his arms. Squeezing her within an inch of her life he gasps, "Where the hell have you been? Why would you do that to me? Do you have any idea what I've been going through?"

Damon only stops when he realises that she's completely limp in his arms and not making any effort to return his hug. He lets go and leans away to look at her.

"Katherine, what-?"

The dark brown eyes that are staring at him are full of horror and confusion. Although they look like Katherine's there's something about them that looks different somehow...

"What-? You cut your hair?" he asks with confusion at noticing her curls that once extended to her waist have been replaced by polka straight hair that is only just past her shoulders.

He studies her in absolute silence, whilst she stands there awkwardly. She's wearing a cute white dress with brown boots, her hair is pinned on one side and her skin is a couple of shades darker. How could she have possibly changed so much in such a short time.

"I'm sorry, did you-did you call me Katherine?" she asks, finally having mustered the courage to speak.

Damon's head is spinning. It feels as though his world has been ripped from underneath him. He presses his fingers to his temples and blinks rapidly. This must be a dream. It has to be a dream. There is no other explanation.

"Oh, so you found the apartment okay?" a voice chirps.

Damon looks down the corridor and sees Stefan bounding towards the apartment, a bag over his shoulder and another in his hand. Sliding his arm around Katherine, he beams at Damon and says, "You met Damon then?"

"Um...yeah," she stammers uncertainly, looking to Damon.

Completely unaware of anything strange going on, Stefan continues to smile at Damon as he adds, "Damon, this is Elena. My girlfriend."

Whatever crumbly ground may have been left beneath Damon's feet now completely disappears leaving him feeling as though he's falling deep into a black hole with nothing to pull him back.