So, apparently SOME of us love Dwayne, well I have another surprise! Mi hermano, Bruno, es the Disclaimer! Yeah, that's right, I've been taking Spanish for THREE years now and I can't even say "my brother Bruno is going to do the disclaimer" well it's a good thing he isn't.

See he's feeling really homesick being away from our mother, so I tried calling her so that he can talk to her. SHE KEEPS IGNORING MY CALLS! What kind of a mother does that? Like, hello? Your son wants to talk to you. you told me to call you when I get the chance, I did and you decline my calls, that's nice. Just for that, Imma bring you an APPLE PIE! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Yeah, okay, so…

DISCLAIMER TIME dun da nuh nuh…nuh nuh nuh nuh, can't touch this!...uh…sorry…I do not own Naruto or pudding, but I will own Deidara's Akatsuki ring! I love the internet, now all I need is a Gaara sweatshirt and I'll be complete! Until I see some other worthless item that I really don't need, but wouldn't be able to live without…

How could this happen? My sister? An evil mastermind? "I'm so proud of her," I cheer, sitting up in my bed. Wait, bed? Oh, yeah, Hidan probably caught me, or he let me fall on the floor…

But someone probably picked me up and carried me into my room.

"Proud of whom, un?"

"Dei?" I looked around. "Holy fudging Jesus! Whole Akatsuki in my bedroom! Hey, Pein, how's it going?"

"…"

"What happened to you, bitch?" Hidan demanded to know.

"What? Oh, my sister she said she has something that I need," I said, suddenly frantic. "She took them from me, but if she doesn't give them back…"

"What?" Sebastian asked. "What would happen?"

I held my head in my hands, drawing my knees up to my chest. "Bad…bad things would happen. Terrible things…"

"What kind of terrible thing, un?"

"I…I don't know…"

"Then-"

"All I know is that it would be disastrous if I don't get them back-"

"What are these things that she took from you?"

I turned to look at Deidara. "The rings."

"We have to get them back, un."

"I know, but I can't do it on my own…"

"But you're not alone," Kisame said.

"Yeah, we're all going to help," Itachi said.

"I…I can't let you guys risk your lives for my stupid mistakes," I said, shaking my head. I can't let them. I have to do this on my own. I can't let them find out…

"Um, in case you've forgotten, bitch, some of us are fucking immortal," Hidan said.

I snapped. Why don't they understand? It's different here! "You all think you're so FUCKOING immortal, don't you? well, I'll tell you-"

"Kalika," Sebastian warned.

"You're not immortal!" I yelled. "You all die! Even Konan dies! Okay, Zetsu is the only one that lives! You ALL die!"

"How the fuck…?"

"Shikamaru kills you, Hidan! Because you killed Asuma! Deidara blew himself up! Sasuke killed Itachi! Naruto killed Pein! You All die, so don't you come to me with that immortal shit!"

The room was quiet. Like you could hear a pin drop. Did I really just tell them when and how they die? Grr, stupid! Why would I do that? I'm so STUPID!

Sebastian cleared his throat. "Well…"

"We will assist you in retrieving the lost articles," Pein said, clearly stating his authority. "Now tell us what these rings are and how they interlock with us?"

I can't actually tell them the whole story, I thought. What if they? I have to tell them though. Here goes nothing…

Taking a deep breath, I tried to stall for time. I looked up at them, I have to tell them. "Those rings," I said. "Are Akatsuki rings that I had made. I had all of your rings made after you died. Sasori was the first to die, so I had his ring made first."

"After each of your deaths in the show, I had each ring made. I put a spell on each ring, so that you wouldn't actually be dead. And as long as they were in my protection, you would stay in your realm, safe.

"But," I continued. "When Tiffany took those rings, a little at a time, she took the ones that I would notice the most if they were to go missing. When those rings were taken from my home, they left my protection. When those rings were taken from me, you were brought here. So that you were still under my care, but I couldn't protect you if something were to happen to those rings.

"Now, Tiffany has the rings, all ten of them," I said. "And she's threatening you. all of you. to end you. but she doesn't know that if she messes up, she'll end everything…"

"But if you brought us back after we died, un…"

"I couldn't bring you back if you died here," I whispered. "I could bring you back in your dimension; where you're not real to us, but I can't bring real people back to life…I just can't…"

"Okay," Pein said. "Now that we know what these rings do, let's come up with a plan."

We set to work. An hour and a half later, everyone left, the plan still in mind. I sent them away because of my headache.

Our plan was all set, fool proof. Zetsu would track her down and find her location. Then he would come back and give us the information.

With the information, Deidara, Hidan, Sasori, and I will head out. Once at said location, Deidara and I would act as bait where we would pretend to be having a make out session, while Sasori and Hidan would be hiding where they could see us and any oncoming danger, but we couldn't see them.

The plan was fool proof, obviously. The only flaw? It couldn't happen without me.

I don't want the Akatsuki involved, so that's why I'm slipping outside in the middle of the night, tracking down my sister, by myself.

"Where are you going, un?" Shit. He had to have noticed.

"What are you doing here, Deidara?"

"Well, I went to go check on you, yeah, and I found you were missing," he said. "You would leave without saying goodbye?"

"Deidara, don't go acting all crybaby on me, please! You and I both know that if I went upstairs and said "Hey, Deidara, I'm leaving to go track down my psychopathic sister, don't follow me," you wouldn't listen."

"Why do you have to do this on your own, un?"

"Because it's my fault. My mistake-"

"Don't you understand! We care about you, Kalika. I care about you, un! That's why-"

"Don't you think I know that? That's exactly why I can't let you come! Because I care about you too, Dei. And I couldn't fathom it if anything happened to you. and-I think I would die if something happened to you and it was my fault."

"I'm coming with you, un-"

"No, you're not! You can't come, and I know that you will never let me leave without you, so if anything happens to me, it's my fault, not yours," I said, taking a deep breath. "I love you."

"What-" I hit him, over the head. hard enough to knock him out cold, but not do any serious damage.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "Now to find Tiffany."

Oh, whoa! Didn't see that coming! Well, yeah, I did because I planned this, sooo…yeah. I already have the ending in my head and on paper…I hope you liked my chapter. Please review and tell me if you

Hated it

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Kind of enjoyed it but there were some things that you would've wanted to change?

Ate pudding while you read this

LOVE PRINCE ZUKO OF THE FIRE NATION!

That will be all…

Yours psychotically,

Vee