I struggled to get this perfect and it wasn't but I cant mess with it anymore or its going to make me insane. Let me know what you think.
Daryl couldn't believe himself and he was having an anxiety attack over it. More and more he had found himself thinking about her and it was wrong. She was wrong, so wrong for him, but that fucking Harley Quinn costume was just about the best thing he had seen in ages.
It did him in when he saw her in it tonight.
He couldn't deny that she was an attractive woman, but he didn't even like Carol, how was it that she was dancing across his mind where Kelly should be?
He missed Kelly with every part of his being and thinking about another woman felt like the ultimate betrayal.
He hated himself more than he ever though possible right now because he was engaging in a fantasy about Carol in that costume.
Daryl didn't ever use fantasy to get off, since Kelly died it felt dirty and wrong, and he couldn't think of her or he would sink back into that black hole Merle had pulled him out of.
Usually he just did it without emotion or thoughts of anyone. Certainly not Kelly or a movie star or the local MILF.
But here he was, wasn't he?
He was laying in his room with the door locked, his boxers slid half way down his legs and his dick in his hand.
Totally hating himself. It wasn't that he didn't jerk off because he did. But he never thought of anyone when he did it, not even Kelly.
She wasn't coming back and he couldn't bear to think of her that way. He usually didn't think of anyone, he just did it and got off and that was the end of it, but that fucking costume. That costume was going to haunt him for the rest of his days, he was sure of it.
Now it had him thinking all kinds of things and he hated himself. He closed his eyes and thought about her anyway because from the minute he saw her tonight he hadn't been able to get his head back on straight.
Maybe this would help, and maybe it would just go away if he got it out of his system, got her out of his system. It didn't take long and he forgot all about the guilt as he was stroking his dick. He spit on his hand and continued thinking about her. In his mind she was wearing the costume and straddling his lap.
He was sitting in a straight back chair in his mind and she was on top of him.
He could almost feel her against him, her hands on his chest and over his shoulders. Her breath on his neck, it felt so real. Her hips were grinding against him and she was whispering the dirtiest things into his ear.
He could feel the breeze from the open window against his skin and the hairs all stood up all over his body. His hips were moving independent of his hand and bucking against the bed like he was a teenager. He could hear her words in his ear, she was telling him to come and it was the hottest thing he had ever imagined in his life. He had no choice but to obey the girl in his mind, when she spoke to him like that.
The sweat was dripping down his neck and back mixed with the cool breeze and all of his senses were alive when he finally let go and came all over his stomach, suppressing the groan that he wanted to let out so badly.
But he didn't want anyone to hear him, he felt bad enough already.
He wiped off with his t-shirt and threw it on the floor. Then he rolled over and fell into one of the deepest sleeps of his life.
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"She didn't cheat on Ed." Rick said standing up and wiping the sweat off of his face. "It was the other way around and he smacked her around too."
Daryl and Rick were tuning Rick's car up in Rick's driveway and Daryl had stopped to light a smoke. They could see her house across the street. It was a week after the dance and still, every time he thought of her in that costume, well, it was always the same affect.
Daryl looked at him incredulous." That's not what Merle says."
There was music playing from Carol's house some nineties bullshit. It sounded like Sublime, Daryl wasn't a ska reggae music fan at all. She was playing the whole album too. Santeria, Badfish, April 29th, Wrong Way, Smoke Two Joints. It was torture.
"She always play that bullshit so loud?"
Rick nodded. "I think she's cleaning; Lori does the same thing when she cleans only its eighties punk rock, be happy we aren't listening to The Clash right now."
"I like The Clash." Daryl replied.
He reached down to where the cooler full of water was and grabbed a water bottle and leaned against the car.
"So." Daryl said and then he was distracted as they watched Carol come outside and shake a carpet over her porch. She was so fucking distracting.
They could hear her singing. "Let it burn, wanna let it burn, wanna let it burn, wanna, wanna let it burn, I feel insane." She had no idea they were watching her, Daryl felt almost like a voyeur. Lately he spent way too much looking at her when she didn't know it.
Too much time thinking about her too.
"So, what? Merle's wrong about her?" Daryl asked taking a deep drag off his cigarette.
"She's a good woman, a good mother. I've known her a long time. He was the asshole in that marriage, not her."
He almost felt bad now for imagining her blowing him the night before while he jerked off again. Almost, because it didn't matter now. If she was a good woman or a bad one, she was part of his fantasy life now and it didn't even matter whether he wanted her there or not.
Ever since Halloween, she was his bed partner in his dreams. He wasn't surprised to find out Merle might be wrong about her. She really seemed okay except for that smart mouth of hers.
Daryl had never met her ex, but Merle did say he was a dick. Still, knowing that Merle stuck to his stupid bro code with her ex-husband, and the guy lied? That made him feel badly for judging her, and worse for fantasizing about her. It was easier somehow if she was who he had thought she was and now? Well, it didn't make him feel differently, she had on a pair of cut off jean shorts right now that were riding up her ass. He still felt the same, he positioned his sunglasses so Rick wouldn't see him looking at her ass.
Some men didn't deserve the bro code and some women didn't deserve to be treated badly.
Had he been wrong about her? He needed to find out.
He knew she was running the fundraising bake sale this week for the kids ski trip in January and he felt like he might want some cookies.
She was right, he was an asshole.
/
Carol saw the truck turn into the parking lot and sighed in frustration. It had been a great day and they were almost sold out. Why was this guy everywhere? He was at the movies and at the dance and the garage infiltrating her life practically. She saw him at Lori and Rick's the other day hanging in the driveway. She was going to have to deal with him again now and she wasn't in the mood, she had worked all day and then came right away to the bake sale from work.
She was working on a migraine as it was and the straw that would push her over the edge had just arrived.
She turned to Tara who happened to be standing by the door. Lori was nowhere to be found and Carol wanted to get away as soon as she saw the old blue ford come in the parking lot.
"Tara can you watch the money box." Carol asked as she was standing up. "I have to pee."
"Can't, it has to be a PTA member at all times, what's the matter, you want to avoid the DILF?" Tara said with a grin on her face walking over to sit down next to her.
"What?" Carol answered incredulously." Is a DILF?"
"Ok, look you know it's not my wheelhouse but, well a lot of the moms think he's a hottie." She shrugged.
Carol watched as he made his way across the parking lot with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth as usual. He had a confident walk and it was sexy. Clearly the other Mom's had never talked to him though. Once he opened his mouth, it spoiled everything.
"I mean look at him, the sleeveless shirt, the cigarette, the swagger. DILF." Tara said as they watched him stomp out his cigarette in the parking lot. "Dad I'd like to…"
"I get it Tara." Carol said sharply.
"It's true." Tara said. "If I was inclined I'd take him out for a spin."
Carol rolled her eyes at her friend, she knew that was bullshit, Tara and Alisha had been together a long time and were getting married in the summer. Tara was full of shit right up to her brown eyes.
"If not me…. you should." Tara said. "He's a DILF."
"Stop saying that!" She said even though it was true and she knew it. The sale was almost over so there wasn't much left, Carol and Tara had been getting ready to clean up and call it a night when Daryl blew in there. Now she had to stay later.
"Your kind of late?" Carol said.
"I was working, but I'm here to support the cause." He said reaching in his pocket for some cash.
"Fine." Carol said.
"I want all your cookies." He said and then turned bright red from his neck to his ears. "I mean; I want to buy…"
What a fucking Freudian slip.
"Uhh." Tara said grabbing a carrot cake and trying to walk sideways out from behind the table. "I'm just gonna take this on back to Principle Horvath."
"Don't even think about it." Carol hissed and reached for Tara's wrist.
"Gotta go." Tara said. "Principle wanted some carrot cake, I'm off like a prom dress."
Tara scooted herself right out from behind the table and she and the cake disappeared down the hallway. Carol started plotting her revenge on her right at that very moment.
"So box them up, I'm buying whatever's left." He said.
She said there still snickering about what he had said. "All my cookies?" She said laughing.
"You gotta be that way? That's not what I meant." He growled.
"Hey, chillax as the kids say, I was just kidding." She said. "Anyone tell you that you have no sense of humor."
"Nope, just you, guess you bring out the best in me."
"What's your problem?" Carol said standing up. "Seriously?"
"My problem? My problem is your lady; I know what you did."
"Really? And what is it that I did." She put her hands on her hips.
"You cheated on Ed and broke up your family and my wife is dead." He pointed at her angrily, and she knew. This wasn't about her, he was grieving still and it had manifested itself totally backwards. "How is it that you get to live and my wife who only ever wanted to help people is gone?"
She felt like such a fool. It wasn't her he was mad at; it had never been her. The look on his face broke her heart.
Carol just stood there and looked at him, she could tell he was in pain, she didn't want to make it worse despite what he thought about her, she wasn't that girl.
"I'm so sorry about your wife." She simply said, because what else could she say. Defending herself felt wrong. But her daughter went to this school and knew his son, she had to clear the air before someone said something to Sophia.
"Yeah thanks."
"Daryl, my daughter goes to this school and this is a small town, is this what everyone thinks, because it isn't true." Carol said. "I would never set that kind of example for Sophia."
He looked at her and it made sense to him, he was going to stick his foot up Merle's ass when he got home tonight.
"Listen, Ed was the one who cheated, not me." She said, "Not that it's any of your business. Is that why your brother hates me?"
He didn't say anything, he just looked at her like it hadn't occurred to him that she wasn't what her ex had said. Rick tried to set him straight and he wouldn't hear it. He did have her all wrong. He could tell by her voice; she was totally shocked by what he said.
Rick had said as much and now he felt like such an ass, especially since the image of her dressed as Harley Quinn danced across his mind more than he wanted to admit.
You can't have it both ways, that voice in his head told him. Either be a gentleman and believe her or continue to obsess over her. He told that voice to shut the fuck up.
"Why would I lie to you; I don't give a shit what you think of me. Or what your brother thinks." Carol said as she went for the door.
"Hey." He stopped her from going out by holding the door. "I'm sorry. It wasn't even my business, your right what ever happened, happened."
She looked at him waiting to see what he was going to say, if it wasn't good she was out of there.
"Can we start over?" He asked hopefully. "You and me?"
"What you want to be friends now." She put her hands on her hips. "Fuck you Daryl."
Suddenly he knew what it was. She was just like Kelly, she was feisty and would give him a run for his money. Just like Kelly, she would never take his shit and he had to have her. It was all crystal clear now why he had not liked her, yet she floated around in his head and in his dreams since the day he met her.
Then it hit him like a brick in the face, it had been weeks since he dreamed of Kelly, there was music playing on Carol's iPhone on the table he realized.
He didn't listen to music enough, and he needed to change that. There were a few things he needed to change.
"I'm sorry Daryl, I shouldn't have said that."
"I deserved it, yeah?"
"Truce?"
