{I do not own any of these characters; they all belong to Stephenie Meyer}

Important Note: This chapter is inspired on one of the episodes from the english show called 'Skins'

Thank you AgoVita! Thank you MixxyLion! Thank you Knittingvamp7! Thank you Kyla713!

*scroll to end for author's notes*

________


I came with a forced that weakened my knees and made me hold on to the counter to keep up. It had been too long since my last release and the orgasm vibrated through my body. When I felt the soft kisses on my pelvis, I was slung back into reality. Oh, god. What have I done?

I pushed Tanya away from me and began to buckle myself up. I needed to get out of there as soon as possible; I needed the alcohol to be drained out of me so I could actually think.

"What are you doing?" Tanya's voice sounded furious and, to be honest, I could have cared less. "You fucking tosser!" She screamed behind me, as I stumbled over others, trying to reach Mike so we could be out of this shithole.

________

Edward - Saturday, August 8, 2009

My head was throbbing and the light coming from the window didn't help anymore. I haven't been this hung over since high school. My throat ached and my stomach grumbled. I groaned when I heard the phone ring.

"I need the recipe for your hangover pancakes!" I groaned again, covering my eyes with my hand trying to shut away the light emanating from the window. I smiled a bit when I heard her little laugh at the other end of the line.

"Does that mean you miss me?"

"Of course I miss you, pixie!"

"Don't call me that, Edward!" She whined and I laughed, regretting it a second later when my head felt like it could explode. She proceeded to tell me the recipe for her mind-blowing hangover pancakes that had been my salvation in many occasions.

"Did you get all that?"

"Yeah, I'm trying to remember if we have vanilla or not. I'll have to ask Mike."

"Oh, Mikey! Tell him I'll email him later today!" Alice and Mike had actually become quite friends and often emailed and called each other to gossip about celebrities, it was both disturbing and ridiculous. "So you partied hard last night, brother dearest?"

"A little too hard, I think. I feel awful. I'm too old for this shit!" I groaned one more time when I tried to get up from my bed; my head was spinning.

"Oh please! When you come to visit we need to do another drinking competition. I bet you could drink Rosalie under the table." Oh, fuck. I hadn't told Alice that I decided against visiting home and got an internship at one of the labs in the university. I was going to break her heart yet again. One of these days she's going to stop answering my calls and avoid me all together - just like Bella.

"Alice..." I spoke in a whisper.

"No, Edward! Are you serious?!" She yelled, knowing exactly where I was going with the conversation. That's how Alice was, one single word or one wrong move and Alice knew the outcome to pretty much everything. "You promised!" Her voice broke at the end and my heart shattered. I need to repay her for this someday. I'll pay for her entire wedding if I have to!

"Alice, I got this amazing opportunity in one of the labs here. You have to understand, munchkin!" I sat at the edge of my bed; my head was throbbing so bad I almost felt dizzy. "I know I've been horrible to you, but I will make it up to you. I swear!"

"When you come back, you're not leaving for anymore!?"

"I promise!"

"Whatever." She dismissed me and it hurt, but I deserved it and couldn't argue against it. "Emmett wants to speak to you" were her last words before she gave away the phone.

"Hey dude! What happened?" I pushed the phone away some as he spoke. His booming voice and the spinning room weren't helping anything.

"Hey man, I just told her I won't be coming to visit and she's pretty pissed."

"Ahh, you fucktard, we had plans!" I rolled my eyes, contemplating living under a rock until all of this is over. "Emmett, I got an internship at one of the labs here. It's a huge opportunity!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright. So, tell me what's been going on?" Another dismissal, I sighed in frustration, at least he wasn't mad at me anymore. I had left New Hampshire hours after telling everyone and I didn't hear from Emmet that entire first week. He was infuriated at me and as if not hearing from Bella wasn't enough, I had my best friend also ignoring my calls.

Thursday, March 26, 2009 (6 months earlier, a week or so after departure):

My phone rang at around three in the afternoon. I recognize the number immediately; it was Emmett. I sighed with relief. It had been a week since I left and everyone had called except him and, of course, Bella. I was beginning to think he'd never come around.

"It's about time!" I answered, excitement in my voice, feeling like a fourteen-year-old girl who just had her crush call unexpectedly.

"You're still an asshole!" I laughed, because it was a typical Emmett way of breaking the ice.

"I know…"

"'Specially for what you did to Bella." I listened, rubbing my eyes; the speech that Jasper had given me a couple of days ago still lingered in my head.

"I know, Emmett."

"And for the record, I'm a douche." I laughed again. Those were all the words that were needed. He was sorry and so was I. It was guy love at its finest.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

After finishing my conversation with Emmett, I proceeded to the bathroom to piss and shower. I thought the water might help some, but nothing was working. I needed the pancakes and I needed them pronto. The scene that met me outside of my room made me laugh despite my discomfort. Mike sat at the dinner table with his forehead resting on his arms, his cup of tea untouched, but still obviously hot. He heard me coming and groaned. Apparently, groaning with a hangover was the universal language for: 'Fuck my life right now; I want to lie back down in my bed and hope it swallows me whole.'

"Good morning, mate." His words were slurred and barely audible considering he was still resting on his arms. I laughed some more.

"A little hung over?" I asked, patting him on the back.

"Sodding headache! I'm fucking dying, mate. Vodka always does a number on me!" He stopped to rub his face some and continued, "I need some spliff."

By the time he had finished his little rant, I had located all the ingredients for my sister's famous hangover pancakes. I even found cinnamon and vanilla extract. What those things were doing in this house was beyond me.

"What you need is some of my sister's hangover pancakes." I knew I wouldn't do her pancakes any justice, but I was intent on trying my hardest.

"What in the bloody hell are you talking about?" He asked and I sighed in frustration and stopped to turn and explain.

"I used to party a lot when I was younger, especially in my senior year. Every once in a while, I'd get awful hangovers and my sister would get up and make me what she called the 'hangover pancakes.' I don't know how she came up with the recipe, but a few bites of them makes anyone who eats the damn things feel better. They are pretty famous in our group back at home." I finished proudly, a silly grin on my face as I remembered the many times we sat around Emmett's table and stuffed our faces with them. I even got Bella hooked. My stomach turned at the thought of Bella.

A while later I was laying down a stack of pancakes for both me and Mike. He had picked up the syrup and the glasses of milk.

"Okay, so they might not be as good as Alice's, but at least I tried." I spoke, sitting and looking down at my plate. A wave of nostalgia passed through me, counting back the time I last saw everyone, but I pushed the thought aside and dug at my plate.

"These are good, mate!" Mike spoke with his mouth full of pancakes. "I didn't think you could get any cuter Cullen, but you have surprised me again." I rolled my eyes at his comment. Despite Mike's sexual orientation, I wasn't at all uncomfortable with those types of comments. I knew Mike well enough to know he meant no harm. "So, what happened last night? You ran out of there looking like hell. Got sick there, did ya?"

I stopped eating and though I had begun to feel better, my stomach started to turn again remembering last night. Though me and Bella were never in a real relationship and even if we were where we aren't anymore, I still felt awful, like I had betrayed her and cheated somehow. It was a destructive feeling that I hadn't been able to shake ever since I left that bathroom and now seemed to be escalating to a point it was choking me.

"Tanya went into the bathroom with me," I confessed, looking down at my pancakes and playing with the tiny piece that was left.

"Oh, bollocks!" He yelled and threw his fork. It made a loud noise against the plate and I flinched as it echoed in my head "Tell me you didn't shag her, you bloody twat!" I couldn't understand his anger, but I welcomed it either way because I didn't have it in me to be mad anymore. I was giving up the fight at an alarming rate.

"I didn't fuck her." I still didn't meet his eyes, because I didn't feel like facing the accusation in them. "She gave me head…" I blurted out, almost like one quick word and I promised myself I'd never say those words out loud again. There was nothing I took from the moment except the realization that no other woman would ever touch me like Bella Swan. Although, Tanya's mouth was skilled and warm; the intensity, passion and wanting couldn't be present, making the moment dull and unfulfilling.

"What about, Bella?" He asked calmly and though I wasn't looking at him, I knew he was laid back in his chair. For some reason, hearing the question outloud made something snap in my head.

"Bella doesn't want me anymore! I've fucked that all up! She's obviously moved on and I should fucking do the same!" I yelled, standing so abruptly the chair I was sitting on had fallen back, landing on the floor with a loud noise that made Mike flinch. I felt bad almost immediately. It wasn't Mike's fault and I shouldn't be focusing my frustration on him. I turned to the counter to start putting things away.

"I'm sorry, mate. I shouldn't have brought her up." He spoke, placing both our plates in the sink and turning to me. I couldn't meet his eyes again, knowing exactly the look I would find there, so I just nodded. "I just don't think you should give up on her that easy, Edward." I sighed in defeat.

"I don't wanna talk about it anymore. Even if Bella wasn't in the picture, what happened with Tanya was a mistake. I shouldn't have let that happen." I felt a soft pat on the back before he proceeded to leave the room.

This was my last mistake with Bella. I wouldn't do any more damage. The Thursday calls will stop and I will ask no more questions about her wellbeing and, when I get back to New Hampshire, I will stay as far away as I possibly can.

Thursday, August 20, 2009 (12 days later):

I didn't call her last Thursday and I wouldn't this one either. The spark I had felt once in me was beginning to fade. It had been so long since I've seen her, I had finally been able to start to forget her smell and the way her lips tasted and, better yet, how warm her skin was under my fingertips. Still, with those things blurry in my subconscious, I couldn't get her off my mind. Drowning myself in work was helping some, but Thursdays were going to be the hardest.

The noise of the book that was placed beside me brought me back from my self-induced coma. When I looked up, I was met with a warm pair of blue eyes that I recognized immediately. I smiled and watched her move the chair in front of me to sit.

"I just happened to have it with me and I remembered you wanted to borrow it." Professor Nomakeo spoke with her soft accent. She had taken me under her wing ever since I failed the first exam she ever gave, and found a way to give me extra credit to be able to win back my grade. Thanks to Professor Nomakeo, I was able to keep both my GPA and my scholarship. The book she was handing over would help me in another class she was not teaching, but she was selfless enough to still want to help.

"Thank you. I actually really needed it right now." I smiled at her, though it was a hallow smile and went back to my laptop to finish the sentence I was in the middle of.

"Edward, what's wrong?" The question startled me and I rubbed my face in frustration, wanting nothing more than to fist my fingers into my hair and pull it all out.

"Is it that obvious?" I spoke, closing my laptop and meeting her gaze again. She seemed concerned, eyebrows furrowed and fingers tangled together over the bag she had placed in front of her.

"Not to someone who doesn't know you well enough. I just notice the difference. You have always been very articulate, very opinionated, always participating in class and most of the time you would stay after to talk some more. You've been in the shadows for a couple of days now. Is it because you miss your family?" She asked and, at the last words, that pain in my stomach began to throb again. I was so tired of that pain. At this point, I'd do anything to make it go away.

"You can say that," I answered, looking back down at the book and sighing. I had no words in me. There was no discussing anything; my brain only comprehended the necessary and, though my grades were still perfect, it was becoming harder to concentrate. This was one of the main reasons why I was spending endless hours in the library lately. Sure, I missed everyone back at home, but it wasn't the very reason why my days were now longer than usual. The realization that I had lost more than my sister's patience with me and that my sanity would most likely be the next to go was the real reason for my sudden self-neglect.

"What's her name then?" My eyes shot up and her smile startled me. "Come on! There is something wrong and it's not your family, so it's a lady, correct?" She asked, turning her head slightly, her dark blond hair falling over her shoulders delicately. She was perhaps twelve years my senior, but Professor Nomakeo still looked youthful, though her eyes always hinted on her wisdom. They were sad eyes, distant at times as if in thought, much like mine these days.

"Bella," I whispered and the name only intensified the throbbing ache. I sighed and hid my face in my palms, enjoying the darkness.

"I'm sure things will work out, Edward." I didn't deserve the sympathy in her voice or the kind eyes she gave me when I finally looked at her. I knew better than that. I knew that there will be no way for things to work out. I had screwed up so bad this time that there would be no flowers, love letters, chocolates or mixed CDs that could help me. At this point, not even a sincere apology would do.

When her eyes met mine, there was a soft smile on her lips; a distant little smile that was careful and forced. It didn't look very good on her; she was a bad liar, just like Bella. "Can I ask what happened?"

"Well…" I began, adjusting myself in the chair as comfortably as I could, thinking of possible ways I could summarize this whole mess. "I guess I made a selfish decision and now I am dealing with the consequences. I left home with little explanation of why I was leaving. I thought it would be best, but I was wrong."

"That doesn't sound very characteristic of you." I laughed at her comment, knowing that this was apparently the common opinion of everyone who knew of the incident.

"The kind of relationship that her and I developed was uncharacteristic of both of us. I guess because of it every other decision became just as faulty. It's all set and done now, but I still don't know where the lines blurred." At this point, I was speaking purely to myself, because there was no way that the professor could understand what I was speaking about. "I made the mistake…" The words were slipping out of my mouth so abruptly I was having a hard time to really think them through. "I thought I…" Exactly what was I trying to say? "This wasn't part of the plan you know? Having someone in my life, someone I really cared about. My career is more important. I'm going to be a great doctor one day. I have a name to live up to, Professor. I can't have distractions off that goal. I refuse to -" I stopped when I looked up and noticed how sad and glazed over her eyes seemed. I had made her upset and I couldn't understand why.

"Edward, depriving yourself of a relationship is not what makes you more successful. Trust me on this. I made that mistake once and I'll regret it for the rest of my life. It's too late for me. I'm sure it's not too late for you." She finished and placed her bag back in her shoulder and began to stand up, I stood up with her, still meeting her eyes.

"What do you mean?" The lack of sleep, the constant depression, the stress and the extra time I have spent in books made my head cloudy and this intense conversation had caught me off guard. I didn't understand.

"I chose my career over my fiancé. I thought that I couldn't be with a person who would put limits to my accomplishments. It was either stay, get married, have a family and spend my days as a teacher, or fulfill my dream of going into research." She paused to look down and sighed heavily, her chest seemed constricted and pained. "I got what I wanted and lost what I didn't know I had." The last words she spoke with a faded smile.

The understanding hit me head on and I felt like I could have hurled. This was the other side of the coin. Jasper chose love over his career; he seemed content in the decision though he knew he would have been earning more money and have a much more prestigious name. Professor Nomakeo, though, chose her career over love and was the most successful of all her peers, but was lonely. She was young though; how could she think that it was too late for her? I didn't have to ask, because if the recognition hit me head on, then the next words she spoke gutted my insides.

"What's truly worse is that if I had to do it again, I'd choose my career anyway. No matter what happens, I'll always chose my career over a relationship. That makes me a selfish person, Edward. I never learned to balance things and if I would have just given myself the chance to learn, I would be successful in more ways than just my career." She looked up at me, her eyes filled with fury and determination "Don't be that person, Edward. I know you are smart enough to be able to balance both things."

Her words were final.

________

After the conversation with Professor Nomakeo, I felt more lightheaded than usual and concentrating had become impossible. So, after thirty minutes of struggling with myself, I decided it was time to head home for the day. The clock indicated that in an hour and forty five minutes it would be twelve a clock, which only meant that it will be seven p.m. in New Hampshire on a Thursday night. What use to be the highlight of my day was now a moment of dread and self- destruction.

The water was burning hot when I got into the shower and I let it run over my muscles I needed to relax, the only problem was I couldn't get Bella off my mind. So in the fog of the shower, despite my crippling depression, my thoughts wondered to the last time I had been in the shower with her.

Friday, November 21, 2008 (Now 9 Months Ago):

"Edward?" She whispered and I smiled, because I could already tell she was peaking her head in through the door of the bathroom. I pulled the curtains back and ran my fingers through my wet hair before greeting her, enjoying way too much the way she bit her lip and how her eyes roamed over my naked body. "Where's Emmett?" She asked still whispering.

"He is staying with Rosalie tonight. Why don't you come into the shower with me?" Though it was a question, I couldn't have helped thinking that I'd beg her if I had to. Thankfully, I didn't have to, as soon enough I was being tortured by the innocent way she removed her garments. She knew I was watching her and her cheeks were a beautiful shade of pink because of it. I promised to myself then that I would fuck her so hard that night she would blush for an entire week, purely for my own benefit. There was nothing more beautiful than those crimson cheeks.

"Damn it, Edward!" She was startled when I walked out of the tub to swing my hand around her waist to hurry her up. "You're so damn impatient!" She screamed, though she was giggling. Her giggles were abruptly cut short when I pressed her against me and she noticed how hard I was already. It has been almost two years since we had started this sick game and she never once failed to cause this reaction in me. My biggest fear is that she always would.

"How long has it been?" I asked, kissing over her exposed shoulder, carefully walking backwards toward the shower. I didn't need her to answer me, because I clearly knew it had been a week and two days since we had last been with each other. Once in the shower, I looked over the shoulder I has been kissing just so I could enjoy the view of the water running over her naked breasts, stomach and down over the small line of curls at her center. I sighed in contentment as she moaned and arched her back when I pressed my palms against her breasts and pinched her nipples roughly.

"Too long," she answered in between short breaths.

"Do you have any idea how hard I'm going to fuck you right now?" I pinched her nipples harder and was rewarded with the most precious sound in the world. That sweet little whimper that I labeled as my "kitten cry." What was it about that sound that made my cock throb so painfully?

"God!" She exhaled and pressed her palm against the tiled wall because her knees were already giving out. I wrapped one of my arms around her waist to give her more balance and reached my other hands to her folds. I was surprised with how wet she already was for me. She leaned her head back against my shoulder when I began to draw circles over her. I even felt pleasure with the way her hair cascaded over my back and the way it clung to me.

It didn't take long for her to lose her knees and soon the palm that was resting on the tiles began to claw, trying desperately to create any sort of hold to gain balance. I tilted my head and trailed kisses over her neck. I wanted her to cum; I wanted to watch and hear her cum over and over, until she was spent and incoherent, because there wasn't anything more exhilarating than knowing it was me who brought her that sort of bliss.

"Edward," she whimpered and I groaned an answer against the spot on her neck I had between my teeth. "I need you inside me," I cursed under my breath because I knew how things would work out. We had been fooling around so long that by then, Bella had gained some confidence and every once in a while, she'd get so confident she'd get vocal and, when she did, it turned my entire world upside down.

I stopped abruptly when I felt her reach between us to bring my hardness to her entrance. I almost lost my mind when she bent forward, making it easier to slide on to me. It was warm and slick and tight and I couldn't comprehend how I hadn't gotten used to this feeling yet. I held her bent little form with an arm still wrapped around her waist, the other still resting on her center. I has started trailing kisses over her wet back when she extended her hands to press her palms to the tile in front of her, spreading her legs a bit to begin to rock herself onto me softly.

"Fuck!" I cursed when she began to move faster. At that point, she was running the show and I had my eyes tightly closed, concentrating on keeping us both up and not letting myself orgasm too soon. I pressed my forehead against her small back and parted my mouth, trying to catch my breath. The feeling was so overwhelming.

I knew we were in trouble when my own knees started giving out and I couldn't for the life of me hold us up anymore, but I didn't want to ruin the moment. In a moment of insanity, I turned the water off and disconnected from Bella. It took everything in me to not control myself then, because she whimpered a strangled little 'no' when we separated. She missed our connection just as much as I did; she needed this as much as I did and the thought put my mind at ease some.

Without a towel, without waiting to finish dripping, without thinking twice about it, I lifted her on to my arms and began to walk toward my room. "Edward, what are you doing?!" She yelled, looking around over my shoulder for what I assumed to be Emmett, but he wasn't here and the apartment was all mine for me to walk around naked as much as I pleased. Down the hall and into my room, I finally was able to lay Bella down onto my bed and take a moment to enjoy the view. Her soaking hair was outstretched, staining with dark spots were it fell onto the pillow. She was glistening, glowing with the soft orange light that came from the window. The sun was setting and I was positively sure it would be completely gone and she'd still look just as radiant. I smiled the entire time I ran my palm over the curves. As my hair dripped and the drops fell on her belly and slid to the sides, I leaned down to catch one with my tongue. God, she tasted good everywhere. "You're insane. You know that, right?" Her words brought me back from the trance she'd put me under and I chuckled, moving lower and lower until I was tracing my tongue over her folds.

"I think you've mentioned it once or twice." I stopped to pretend to go into deep thought, and she groaned in annoyance.

"You damn tease! Come here!" She spoke, tapping the side of the bed next to her. I smiled the entire time, because I knew what was next and of course it was on my top five list of "The Most Amazing Things in Edward's Universe" list. I lay back onto the bed and, before I knew it, she was straddling me and again had directed me to her entrance, and was sliding down my length. She was making me pay, of course, sliding ever so slowly, eyes fixed onto mine. I lost, because I broke eye contact when my eyes rolled back in my head once I was completely seated inside her.

"Godammit, Bella." She was absolutely mind-blowing and she knew it; her hands rested on either side of me for support and her hair fell in cascades around me while her waist moved back and forth on me. I moved my hands from her waist up to her hair, holding it back in fists to bring her toward me. Our tongues fought for dominance and again she won when she began to move her hips in circles. I groaned sharply against her mouth and she giggled like a true vixen.

I was close and I knew she knew because her hips got faster and she was nibbling her way up my neck and onto my ear lobe. My knees started to bend slowly and I was drowning in the feeling all too quickly. I was at the very edge of oblivion, almost at the point of no return, when I felt her sweet little hand move from beside me to where we connected, and realization hit me. Bella wouldn't cum with me and that was unacceptable.

She made a little whimpering noise when I turned us over. I now had her under me, hands pinned above her head, foreheads resting against one another, bodies still connected. I began a slow rocking motion that helped me pull myself together and regain some of my control. "I just remembered something." I spoke against her neck and her only response was a soft sigh. "I did say something about fucking you hard earlier and I almost didn't keep my promise." I chuckled when she arched her back at my words. There was no need for any more. I knew what she wanted.

I was pounding against her now, our bodies slamming against each other so hard the noise vibrated over the walls. I knew I was being rough, but I couldn't stop. Every other noise from her mouth was my kitten cry and I was addicted to the sound. "I'm gonna … Oh God, Edward … don't … stop … so … close." There was a thrust between each word and I found myself smiling despite myself.

Suddenly, she clenched around me and, without my consent, my world came tumbling down, as well. My entire body shook with the intensity of it all and I grunted against her collarbone. I collapsed against her in complete defeat.

"Wow," she mumbled, waking me from my post-coital bliss. She sounded sleepy and drained, and absolutely content. When I looked up, I was rewarded with a sweet little smile resting on her lips, though her eyes were closed. I rested back and cradled her to my chest, though the bed was still wet. I picked up the dry sheets and placed them over her. She gave a little yawn and snuggled up against my side. How couldn't I have known I had the very world then?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

I was hard. I was painfully hard and there was nothing I could do about it. There was nothing I would do about it. I didn't want to, and I didn't deserve it. To be honest, I was most likely too depressed to ever be able to cum. Then, I remembered that I had cum with Tanya, and suddenly I didn't have a problem anymore.

_______

I stared at the clock. It was mocking me. It seemed to have stopped at twelve o' clock, shining the number brighter than ever before. This was the time I usually called her; right now I'd be picking up the phone and hitting that annoying little green button. I tried to focus on my book again, sighing in frustration when the words became a jumble in front of my eyes. I looked back up; it was 12:02.

"Fuck!" I pounded my fist against my desk, the loud noise vibrating through the walls. This is probably what fighting an addiction probably felt like; trying desperately to keep from taking that next hit. I looked back at my phone and then back at the clock. 12:07. I wondered briefly if she'd even noticed that I didn't call her last week and that I always called her on the same day, same time. I also wondered if this was a bit over the top and if I should consider medication. I was done. This was my breaking point. I couldn't keep doing this to myself. It seemed obvious that Bella had moved on and I needed to as well.

I picked up the phone, staring at it for what seemed like an eternity. I hated it. I hated what it represented. I blamed it for everything that was wrong in my life and thinking it would make everything go away. I swung it as hard as I could against the wall and the scream that came from my throat scratched and burned. The handset shattered and fell into pieces to the floor.

No Phone. No Calls. No Problem.

"What in the bloody hell has gotten into you, Edward Cullen?!" Mike stood at the door, hands gripping at the frame; he looked down at the remainder of my phone and grimaced. "What has the world of electronics done to you now?"

"I'm not going to call her," I declared, but the words sounded like I was trying to convince myself of the matter more than it sounded like a statement.

"Is that what this is about?" Mike was now speaking to me from a kneeling position on the floor. He was picking at the pieces that were now my phone. He had picked up my Sim card from the pile and managed to find my battery that had slipped under the bed.

"She just declines the call anyway! What's the fucking use? I should have taken that as a fucking hint in the first place!" I yelled, my throat still burning with the strain. "Why am I even calling her? There is nothing I can do from all the way over here! Fuck, she fucking hates me, man! I made her hate me! I fucking did this! This is my entire fucking fault and I still can't let her have a life! I'm done! It's fucking done, Mikey! I chose my career over love, because I'm a selfish fucking imbecile!" Through my ranting, I watched Mike take out his own phone and place my Sim card in it. I stared at him, puzzled, suddenly quiet as a mouse.

"She declines your call?" He asked, handing me his phone that now had my Sim card in it.

"Yeah." I was confused beyond action and I stared down at what he was offering me. It was another little piece of machinery that was the reason for all the troubles in the world. I hated it, too.

"She always declines your call, Edward?" His hand still stretched toward me.

"Yes, Michael! She fucking denies my fucking call! Do you want to know the number of rings, too? She gives it three fucking rings! You know how pathetic that is? That I know how many rings she lets me have! God, I really should consider therapy!" I threw my hands in the air in frustration. I was officially a total basket case.

"Edward Cullen, would you listeedn to yourself for just a bloody minute?!" He yelled, fisting his hand into the front of my shirt. Mike was not only gay, but he was small and summer blond and sometimes innocent looking, but just like Jasper, he looked deadly when angry. I stood still to listen to him. "She always declines your calls? She gives you exactly three rings, always?"

I nodded because I didn't have any more in me.

"You bloody fucking twat!" He yelled, letting go of my shirt, hitting my stomach with his phone. I sighed, finally taking it from him, just to stare at it while he continued speaking. "Edward, she waits for that call! She waits for the three rings. I bet you she stares that your fucking name in her caller ID and it takes all the courage in her to not answer that call! She always declines the call because that way she thinks she is winning, but what she doesn't know is that she is really telling you, she is there, that she is listening! I'm gonna give you a right pasting, Cullen. As long as you keep calling, she'll know that you'll always be there!" The words were so powerful I sat back down on my bed, staring at the wall in front of me. The pieces fell ever so slowly together in my head. "She hasn't forgiven you. There is no easy way to forgive what you did. As long as you keep calling, she'll have evidence that there wasn't a time you've stopped thinking about her. That you are willing to spend an entire year apologizing to her." I looked up at him and swallowed hard, realizing I'd stopped breathing during his tirade. There wasn't a coherent thought in my head from the lack of oxygen. "Call her, Edward. Always fucking call her, no matter what." The last words he spoke were a whisper in my head; my eyes went into a tunnel vision. My head was throbbing.

An eternity passed. I sat there and let an eternity pass me by while I thought of calling. I debated the pros and cons. I debated if it was worth fighting or letting things sink. I saw Jasper and Alice. I saw Professor Nomakeo. I saw my father.

I pressed 'send.'

One ring.

Two rings.

The third ring never came, because someone answered the phone. My heart was beating so hard it was almost deafening.

"Hello?" I spoke after a long silence. It was her; it had to be her. Anyone else would have answered by now. Bella, my sweet beautiful, Bella. "Bella..." The confirmation I needed came in a little soft sigh that was more of relief than contentment. "I'm sorry, Bella..." I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry for being a coward. I'm sorry for making you worry. I'm so fucking sorry.

The called ended at fifty-six seconds.

A/N:

Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me! PLEASE don't hurt me! (Please keep in mind six months is a very long time and that a lot can happen.) I got a lot of reviews saying the timing is confusing, so I went back and added dates to ALL the chapters. Please let me know in your reviews if this helps anything. I hope so!

Next chapter is Bella's POV and the chapter after that one will have another six month skip. The next chapter will be a hard chapter for me to write and I might be taking a bit longer with it. If you'd like to know how the writing is coming along you can PM me, stop by the thread, or add me in Google chat: Lethologica86 (at) gmail (dot) com.

Thank you for everyone who read this chapter before it was posted just to give it thumbs up. Thank you to Kyla713 (Dawn Nomakeo) for letting me use her for a VERY important character in this chapter (Mind you that even though you can't tell she was picturing him naked the entire time she was speaking to him.); Stacey (Knittingvamp7) helped me a lot when I was freaking out about making the ending perfect; and last, but certainly not least, thank you to my fic wife Lindsey (AgoVita) for letting me fondle her hardcore when I'm stressing the hell out.

Reviews encourage me to work harder *heart*