Randomness #5, part II

WARNING—Swearing.

Kendra was lying on her bed in the attic—she was technically an adult, the legal age of eighteen—reading a book entitled "The Life and Times of Famous Unicorns," flipping through the pages, trying to find the more 2015 ones rather than the 1820s ones—a whole bucket load of them, and even more in the 1750s. Possibly a garbage dump-truck load of them.

Kendra paused. Crap. Did I just call a bunch of semi-important unicorns dirty?

Bracken opened the door, looked around, and went back out. He opened the door, banging it against the wall in surprise, but it bounced off the wall and smacked in him the face, almost sending him down the stairway. "Kendra, what are you doing up here? Where's your brother?"

Kendra's face turned bright red. Trying to hide it, she turned her attention back to the book, trying to appear casual. "He went outside, probably to find Newell and Doren or something. Maybe even the satyr that made that semi-creepy painting of me. Or was it a sculpture?" She shrugged. "It was so long ago I can't remember."

Bracken frowned. Okay. This was awkward. "Where do you think he went?"

Was she ignoring him because he told her to go date other people? What was wrong? Had that rubbed her the wrong way and she was mad at him? (What right did she have to be mad at him? He thought to himself, getting angry at nothing.) He stopped, frowning and counting to ten. Kendra broke the silence before he reached eight.

"Is there something else you needed?"

Bracken cleared his throat. "Um, yeah, actually. How old are you now?"

Kendra raised an eyebrow. "I'm eighteen."

Bracken's face turned red, and he tried covering his face with his hands. "Okay. Going out with anyone?"

"Yeah, a guy named Ryan."

"How's that going?"

"Pretty good."

"Seth told me you've never been kissed."

Kendra sat up and glared at Bracken, whose face turned an even brighter red. She was wearing a tank top and sweats—the house was arid and brain-melting, which was semi-weird for the summer. Putting the book in her lap and holding her fingers at page 193, she snapped, "And what does Ghost Boy know about my love life?"

"Ghost boy?" Bracken's eyebrows turned into a squiggle. "Ghost boy?"

"Is there something wrong with the nicknames I have for my brother? It's not like he cares about them," Kendra answered, turning back to her book. "Besides, he needs to get a love life of his own before he can start talking about mine."

"Yeah, but you still didn't answer my question."

"What 'question'?"

"You've never been kissed."

"That's not a question, Mr. Grammar-Crapper. That's a statement."

"Does it matter?"

"It does in fact matter, sir, Mr. Thousand-Year-Old-Unicorn-I-Can't-Date-Until-I'm-Older."

"Does that really matter to you so much?"

Kendra laughed. "At this point, I'm not going to date you. I've had enough of you already. I can see why your mother sends you outside her queendom instead of letting you inside so you can terrorize the astrals and the fairies…" She paused for a second. "If she's the fairy queen, how the heck are you a unicorn?"

"My father," the unicorn seethed.

"Oh, so male fairies are unicorns?"

"Not quite," Bracken answered, teeth clenched.

"What are you clenching your teeth for—got something stuck?"

"No."

"It must be the cat. He's rather hard to swallow."

"I don't get what you mean."

"Goodness your oblivious to everything."

"What does it mean?"

"Have you never heard the phrase cat got your tongue?"

"One of those stupid human clichés?"

"Go marry a mountain troll, kiss-ass."

"Go eat tar—you've got enough of it in your soul."

"Oh, yeah. I'll bet you've had so many relationships you literally can't count them all."

"Thanks for the warning. Maybe I'll get the ambulance."

"What, so you can get rid of the scars?"

"What scars?"

"The burn scars, dough-boy!"

"Like you're any better!"

"Get out of here before I call the police! Children only!"

"Oh, yeah, because you're such a child!"

"You're acting like one, asshole!"

Seth walked up the stairs, a little sunburned from hanging out and playing football with the satyrs and Hugo, his legs and arms a little scratched up, all he wanted to do was go to sleep and avoid fights. He'd had enough of that with Newell and Doren alone. (Hugo didn't say much, other than HIKE!). "What's going on?" he asked innocently, confused about why they were arguing.

"Go downstairs, Seth!" they screamed at him.

"How about no?" Seth retorted.

"Just do it," Kendra sneered, poison in her tongue.

Slamming his football on the ground, he shouted," I'M NOT FEELING SO GREAT RIGHT NOW." The room plunged into darkness and the air became something like -20° below zero. Shadows of monsters people had never seen for thousands of years and invoked nightmares when merely thought of flashed across Kendra and Bracken's minds, and the shadows broke the window. The breaking glass brought them back to the real world, and Seth slowly faded the darkness into the light.

"Never do that again," Bracken said, his voice—along with the rest of his body—shaking like a stick hut in an earthquake.

Seth turned to Bracken, his face covered in shadow. "Never tell me what I can and cannot do, fairy princess. Now both of you leave."

They were shaking so much they practically had seizures down the stairs.

Seth's brain shut down and he landed part way on a bed, but gravity made him slip off and he flopped like a newborn calf onto the ground.

Once the two hate-birds got out the door and tried to forget what they saw for half an hour, they looked one at the other, frowned, and said together, "this isn't working."

Kendra turned away from Bracken and didn't look back until she got to the house.

"And no, curd-face, I have never been kissed."

I feel like I needed to let out some anger, and that's what happened. As usual, feel free to hate, but just remember that it gets better.