A.N Ok, so I owe you guys a HUGE apology for not updating for so long! I'm really really sorry but after I got back from Paris I was so busy. I had a chapter to finish And Start by the Wednesday and I was ridiculously tired because a lot of things went on and we didn't get a chance to sleep much in Paris. Then it was nearly Easter and my mum kept making me do things in the house and I had to clean out my wardrobes. I finally got to work on this chapter Easter Monday and I had writers block . To top it all off, my internet's broken! So, if your reading this, a friend took pity on me and I borrowed a computer… unless I write at the bottom my internet's fixed… I'm not re-writing this big long authors note! So… on with it anyway… Haha, I was just looking over my chapters, they all seem to be about 1 paragraph longer each time… haha…
P.S not all the sneak peeks will appear in this chapter… well, they might but I doubt it
I woke up that Tuesday feeling ridiculously tired. I'd spent at least half the night just lying in bed and thinking. After Lance had come in, I'd been seriously confused. What with all those thoughts running through my head I'd had no idea what to do, what to think. Granted, I was ridiculously tired and, like I'd thought the night before, mentally drained but I still didn't sleep. The only reason I'd been so annoyed at Lance for spilling out his feelings was because, well, I didn't even know how to admit it to myself. Maybe if I didn't it would just go away, he would go away.
Anyway, my mum took one look at me sat at the breakfast table that morning and told my there was no way I was going into school. I hadn't protested even though I knew I wasn't ill. I'd just pushed my untouched toast towards her and silently exited the room.
The day passed in a haze of thoughts and confusion. I think I slept most of the time but I'm not sure. There was just so much going through my head that day. I hated Lance for what he was doing to me. He must've known last night that he was messing with my head. But then how could he know? It wasn't as if I was making it obvious I was starting to get feelings for someone other than Will. Someone very close to Will in fact.
There, I had finally admitted it. True, it was only to myself but I did it. It seemed to help somehow, telling myself that. At least I think it did, I got a full nights sleep for the first time since this whole thing had started off, anyway.
I stayed off again on the Tuesday. It was the first time in my life that I'd ever stayed off without I reason but I couldn't go in to school. Just because I'd sorted things out in my head didn't mean I was ready to face Lance, or Will, for that matter.
Anyway, I spent the day sleeping again and my mom finally forced me to go back to school on the Wednesday. I blundered through the rest of the week only seeing people during school hours. I wouldn't even go to Will's place. I told him I was still ill, I couldn't manage to see him after school because I needed sleep. It was only half a lie but I still hated telling him it. Whatever Lance was doing to me it had to stop. The only way to make it stop was to avoid everybody until it went away, right? Well, whatever it was, I was sure as hell going to fight it!
That Friday, I thought I'd successfully got through it. I would spend a week of Easter break hanging with Nancy and the next week with Will. It was so simple. If I didn't see Lance I couldn't feel anything for him. My plan was foolproof and Lance-proof. Or so I thought…
Someone had beaten me home that night after school. Probably because I spent so long saying goodbye to Will. Well not saying but our mouths were involved.
Anyway, I got home feeling happier than I'd felt all week, what with my plan for the holiday's not including a certain football guard at all. I was so happy, I even sang along to my Ipod. Yes, you heard me right, Elaine Harrison was in such a good mood she was singing. SINGING.
At least, I was until I got into the kitchen. My mood fell instantly. There was Lance sitting at my kitchen table, two plates of ribs and potato salad in front of him.
I sat. Lance seemed to take it as some sort of invitation and started eating instantly. I had no idea how he could be hungry. We'd had lunch at school just 2 short hours ago. My plate was left untouched.
"Lance," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. It was no easy thing, staying calm. The tension between us was killing me. And no, I'm not talking about the sort of tension that had been sparking between Lance and Will all week.
"What are you doing here? I hate to break it to you but I've been trying to avoid you. I don't want you here."
"I know," his voice broke, as if he too was fighting against something. "But I had to come. I had to know why."
"I think, Lance, that it's pretty obvious why I'm avoiding you. I didn't think you were this stupid."
"No." He was talking monosyllabically where possible and his sentences were short. There had to be something he was hiding beneath his calm exterior. I needed to break it. Things would be better if I could get him to shout at me. I needed it.
"Lance, really you are dumb. I LOVE Will. I don't want you ruining what we have and right now you are." Not even the mention of Will made him flinch. I moved my chair closer to his and could hear is breaths were short and heavy. He might not have shown it but it was definitely working. I continued in the most patronising way I could muster.
"Now, Lance, I'm not sure you understood that. So I'm going to make it simpler. Me and Will. Not me and Lance. Now, do you get it?"
"Yea I get it." I could finally detect some sort of emotion in his voice. This was it.
"I get that you have feelings for me. I'm not a little kid anymore so I'd prefer you didn't treat my like one. If anything you're the one acting childish!" He stood up, pulling me with him by the hand. I was in shock. This had not been what I was expecting him to act like. He was pulling me closer now. Lowering his face to mine. I knew what was coming and I drew back slightly, feeling reluctant to pull away. My reluctance won. He leaned in closer and kissed me. I couldn't believe it. I pulled away. "Will," I said. He didn't hear me though, or wouldn't hear me. I'm not sure which. He pulled me closer and once again our lips collided. This time I didn't pull back. Entwining my hands around his neck, I put more pressure into the gentle kiss. All thoughts of Will had gone from my head.
Lance was the one to pull away this time. He was gasping for breath slightly but there was a determined, happy look on his face.
"Wow," he gasped. "I, well, Elle, Ellie, think about it. Ok?" His words made no sense but somehow, I understood. I was still a little in shock. I shook my head as if to shake off what had happened. When I looked up again, Lance was headed towards the door, his jacket swinging from his hand. Oddly, I didn't want him to go. I waved exuberantly as he turned back to cover up my disappointment he was leaving.
The phone rang, breaking me out of my trance. I picked it up, still a little dazed and heard Will's voice in my ear.
It was as if a bomb had gone off inside of me somewhere. All of a sudden I realised what I'd done, wished I hadn't and yet was still glad that I had. All of the confusion I had worked so hard to fight off came flooding back. I couldn't talk to Will. Not now. My plan to avoid Lance over the holidays was shattered. There was no way it could be foolproof when I was the biggest fool of all. Why couldn't I have just been happy with what I had? Why, Why, WHY?
Will's voice was talking again in my ear. I tried to focus all my attention on what he was saying but it all felt so strange and untrue. Until…
"Elle! What's wrong? You've been avoiding me all week and now you aren't even listening to me? Tell me! ELLE!"
It was the first time ever that Will had been annoyed with me. Upset even. I felt awful but anger was twisting somewhere in my stomach. How could he be angry at me? He surely didn't know what had happened just 5 short minutes ago and I'd done nothing else wrong. I'd fought hard not to do anything that would hurt our relationship. Why was he being so blind to what I was going through?
"Maybe if you opened your eyes for once then you'd understand Will! You always expect everybody to be perfect but it's not, ok! Just because your King Arthur's reincarnation or whatever does not mean that we should all do as you say, follow your orders. No I won't tell you because you should know anyway! Your supposed to be my boyfriend and a relationship is two people not just me!" I couldn't help myself. I knew he'd done nothing wrong and things still felt so strange. I needed to yell, to shout, to scream and Will was the only person I could yell at right now. I could hear the hurt in his voice as he spoke in my ear but I wasn't listening to the words. I vaguely heard him talking about everything that had happened lately. I heard him apologise for the way I felt and then… And then…
"It's Lance, isn't it?"
"Y-yes," I replied. My voice was full of shame and guilt but it was nothing to the pain I detected in Will's voice.
"Right." He said, mustering all his strength. "I want to see you but not now. I don't want to throw us away, Elle. I need time. I'll be there when I'm ready but I don't know when that'll be. Don't contact me, please. Please." He hung up. Leaving me to sit there on the ground, head in my hands wondering what on Earth I had done to deserve this horrible turn of events.
A.N Ok guys… I think the chapter is longer this time my dad's fixed my Internet yey! You know the drill, of course… 3 reviews if you want to know what happens! I'll update soon... I hope. It's all up to you guys!
