"Shattered" Chapter 8
this work of fiction (c) 2002 *JLL* (aka MagickMistressImpmon!) Sydney Anrui (c) Me, Impmon (c) digimon peoples! hoorah! I plot on world domination- but only AFTER i have lunch! On a serious note, folks, this chapter is probably the most serious part in the whole story. No flames please, this part of the story has a lot of emotional meaning to me. thank you.
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Sydney was eerily silent for the next week. Her usual spirit had been snuffed out, it seemed. She moved about her room like a ghost, almost as if she were looking for something she had lost.
It was when he tried speaking to her- she just looked at him with a horrible look of emptyness. It was almost like she was someone else... he felt like he was on the outside of her gaurded bubble- looking in- seeing terrible things happening- but unable to do anything.
The breaking point came that weekend. Unseasonably cool for august, and the clods heald loads of rain in their dark underbellies. The wind whipped coats around the bodies of their wearers, and caused the leaves in the trees to rattle violently.
Sydney was no where to be found. Impmon came into her room after patroling the city, to find his partner missing. The bright yellow flower he had brought back for her clenched between his harp needlelike teeth. The hope swelling deep within his chest that the simple little plant he held could somehow bring the sweet, shy little smile he so missed out to play again upon her lips.
But when he entered that room- the horrible feeling of dread that washed over him nearly overpowered him- Sydney- something was happening to her.
The window had been wide open- unusual for the cold weather- he knew how much Sydney hated to be cold- something about the white fluttering of the curtains reeked of a sour, dreadfilled scent.
She had gone out the window.
He forced his legs to thrust him to the widowsill, and peered out over the balcony- and onto the concrete below- and saw nothing.
Landing softly on the fire escape, the first thing he noticed was that the emergency ladder was down. That leads to the roof... he thought. She must be up there...! Feeling his body tremble in some horrible anticipation, he scaled the rickety rusted-to-the-core ladder. Upon reaching the top, he could hear a voice- Sydneys voice- heasitent, and a bit raspy- but deinately hers- come to him on the wind.
He stepped off the last rung swiftly, and sighted her immediately. Her bare arms and legs almost ghostlike- the moon-withe nightgown she wore was badly stained with a rusty red color. The wind wipped around her, snapping the nightgown around her thighs- it was only now that he realized how painfully thin she was. Her arms and legs bore horrible scars, and deep purple bruises that mottled her pale, milky skin.
-Despite all of this, she was still somehow wildly beautiful.
"What are you doing...?" He finnaly asked, finding his voice. Suddenly, he was a little unsure he wanted to know.
She turned slowly, so that he could see her fully. Her whole body was so small- so beaten- that it hurt him just to see it...
..but it was her eyes...
...once filled with a spark all thier own- now dull, and lifeless; Like a horrible mirror of her former self.
"...I'm giving up." SHe said, after a moment; one that seemed to last a lot longer.
He took a step foreward, confused. "What do you mean..? Giving up what?"
She was silent for another perpetual moment, then replied.
"...Everything..." She began to move away.
It was as if an alarm went off in his head.
She took a few steps further from him, closer to the edge.
She was going to jump.
"Syd...!" He tried to hide the desparate sound of fear tinging his voice. "...Come back over here, please..."
She shook her head. "I can't..." She said quietly. "...Theres no point."
"Of corse theres a point!" he squeaked, fear creeping into his voice without relent.
She took a few steps closer to the edge, looking over. It was silent again, for a while. The only sound was the wind, and Impmon's sharp, urgent breaths.
He was afraid to speak- or move foreward- the moment was so fragile- the wrong thing could cause the horrible conclusion the young girl was drawing for herself.
"I tried to fix things..." She murmured finnaly. He looked up, trying to catch her gaze- but she wouldnt look at him. "I tried to make daddy well again- i really did." She paused, tears forming little rivers on her cheeks. "I wanted things to go back th way they were before- So i hid his drinks from him..." She broke off for a second, then looked at Impmon with a look that he'd never seen before- from anyone.
"-But he knew! Somehow he knew it was me! And he diddnt understand that all i wanted to do was help...!" The tears flowed freely now, Impmon flet like somthing had reached inside of him and pulled on his heart. It was like it would rip out of his chest at any second- pulsating, even without his blood to feed it.
"-And yet... he diddnt see that. He only sees me as an object in the way- something to kick around when he gets angry... I'm nothing to him... im nothing to ANYONE!" She started to lose her voice, her body treamoring violently.
"...So this is it." Impmon said after a moment.
She looked at him now, one eye hidden by her unruly mass of dark locks.
"I finnaly meet you, Sydney- my tamer- and youre abandoning me."
She blinked, unable to speak.
"I finnaly find someone who was kind to me- genuinely... took me in... trusted me. wanted me. And this is how it ends?!?" Starting to get angry, he clutched his fists at his sides.
"All you stupid humans are the same! All you think about is yourself, and how you feel!" He shook his head violently. "It never occured to you- for a moment- how badly you could be hurting another- all that matters is that everyone pites you and listens to you!" He glared at her angrily, unable to controal himself. "And so now, you plan on leaving your own mother alone with this guy. Now she'll be alone against him- is that what you want?! Huh?!?!" His yell echoed over the city, then all became eerily quiet.
"All that junk you said before- about me being you friend- you were lying." He muttered, glaring at her with a horrible resent. "If you had meant that, you wouldnt be doing what youre doing... youre taking it all back."
"-But i havent taken back anything!" She cried "Why are you talking like this?!? I thought you-" She broke off so abruptly, blinking as if realizing what she was saying for the first time. "..No" She said after a moment.
"No? No what?" He shouted. "You cant belive that- maaybe i cared about you?!?" He paused, his face reddeing even now- and waved his arm in the air- "No- of corse not- youre too damn worried about yourself! You dont care what i think- So why should this stop you?!" Impmon clamped his fists and closed his eyes so tight colors swam in the pitch darkness. "Why should i care...? Why should i even bother...?" He felt something dribble out of the corner of his eye, but he whiped it away angrily.
She took a step foreward, but heasitated.
Impmon heard her approach, but he did not open his eyes until she kissed him.
Her dry and cracked lips graced the skin of his cheek, and slowly and unsurely found his mouth. Her lips on his was like some sort of gift- something he did not feel he deserved- but he took it- and took it gladly.
Almost subconciously he clenched the hem of her gown in his palm. A million and more thoughts swam in his head- and a almost frightening warm feeling began to seep through him- it was so warm, it ached. It was a feeling unlike any other he had experinced before- Even though in reality it only lasted for a breif moment- even thought she was a detested human being- he felt all the anger from only a moments before drain out of him.
Something inside of him cried out for it to never stop- to never let go of the sheer fabric he clenched so strongly in his palm.
Her lips on his was like rain on a desert. Something he only now realized he so desparately wanted- needed to survive- was her rain- her kiss- her.
She pulled away herself, smiling through her tears themselves.
"Good bye, Impmon. I will never foget you... ever. Please don't forget me, eather..."
"I dont need to- i wont! Youre not going anywhere!" He clutched the nightgowns hem tighter in his fist. "Ill help you fix things! Ill protect you from him- from anyone! You cant do this to me!!! you CANT!!!!" He screamed the last part out so loud and heartfelt he wondered if it was him that even said it.
"Sydney... your'e all i have in this world... youre the only person that ever made me feel strong- like i was needed- i always wanted to be needed, by someone! And that someone is you!" He stopped, trying to catch his breath. "...And i think, maybe... i think.... i need you too..." He trailed off squeezing his eyelids tighter. "I didn't mean what i said earlier... youre NOT like the rest of them! youre not! You're... you. You're the same girl who risked her life for me during that battle a few weeks back... No one has ever done that for me! No one has ever put their lives in danger to save mine... But you did."
Something flickered across the girls face. She looked over the edge again, and for a moment, he thought he had her-
-but in that split second, she tore away from him- the thin fabric ripping off in his palm. He reached out again, but missed, and fell to his knees.
"Goodbye, Impy..."
With that, she let herself fall back over the edge of the building.
this work of fiction (c) 2002 *JLL* (aka MagickMistressImpmon!) Sydney Anrui (c) Me, Impmon (c) digimon peoples! hoorah! I plot on world domination- but only AFTER i have lunch! On a serious note, folks, this chapter is probably the most serious part in the whole story. No flames please, this part of the story has a lot of emotional meaning to me. thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------
Sydney was eerily silent for the next week. Her usual spirit had been snuffed out, it seemed. She moved about her room like a ghost, almost as if she were looking for something she had lost.
It was when he tried speaking to her- she just looked at him with a horrible look of emptyness. It was almost like she was someone else... he felt like he was on the outside of her gaurded bubble- looking in- seeing terrible things happening- but unable to do anything.
The breaking point came that weekend. Unseasonably cool for august, and the clods heald loads of rain in their dark underbellies. The wind whipped coats around the bodies of their wearers, and caused the leaves in the trees to rattle violently.
Sydney was no where to be found. Impmon came into her room after patroling the city, to find his partner missing. The bright yellow flower he had brought back for her clenched between his harp needlelike teeth. The hope swelling deep within his chest that the simple little plant he held could somehow bring the sweet, shy little smile he so missed out to play again upon her lips.
But when he entered that room- the horrible feeling of dread that washed over him nearly overpowered him- Sydney- something was happening to her.
The window had been wide open- unusual for the cold weather- he knew how much Sydney hated to be cold- something about the white fluttering of the curtains reeked of a sour, dreadfilled scent.
She had gone out the window.
He forced his legs to thrust him to the widowsill, and peered out over the balcony- and onto the concrete below- and saw nothing.
Landing softly on the fire escape, the first thing he noticed was that the emergency ladder was down. That leads to the roof... he thought. She must be up there...! Feeling his body tremble in some horrible anticipation, he scaled the rickety rusted-to-the-core ladder. Upon reaching the top, he could hear a voice- Sydneys voice- heasitent, and a bit raspy- but deinately hers- come to him on the wind.
He stepped off the last rung swiftly, and sighted her immediately. Her bare arms and legs almost ghostlike- the moon-withe nightgown she wore was badly stained with a rusty red color. The wind wipped around her, snapping the nightgown around her thighs- it was only now that he realized how painfully thin she was. Her arms and legs bore horrible scars, and deep purple bruises that mottled her pale, milky skin.
-Despite all of this, she was still somehow wildly beautiful.
"What are you doing...?" He finnaly asked, finding his voice. Suddenly, he was a little unsure he wanted to know.
She turned slowly, so that he could see her fully. Her whole body was so small- so beaten- that it hurt him just to see it...
..but it was her eyes...
...once filled with a spark all thier own- now dull, and lifeless; Like a horrible mirror of her former self.
"...I'm giving up." SHe said, after a moment; one that seemed to last a lot longer.
He took a step foreward, confused. "What do you mean..? Giving up what?"
She was silent for another perpetual moment, then replied.
"...Everything..." She began to move away.
It was as if an alarm went off in his head.
She took a few steps further from him, closer to the edge.
She was going to jump.
"Syd...!" He tried to hide the desparate sound of fear tinging his voice. "...Come back over here, please..."
She shook her head. "I can't..." She said quietly. "...Theres no point."
"Of corse theres a point!" he squeaked, fear creeping into his voice without relent.
She took a few steps closer to the edge, looking over. It was silent again, for a while. The only sound was the wind, and Impmon's sharp, urgent breaths.
He was afraid to speak- or move foreward- the moment was so fragile- the wrong thing could cause the horrible conclusion the young girl was drawing for herself.
"I tried to fix things..." She murmured finnaly. He looked up, trying to catch her gaze- but she wouldnt look at him. "I tried to make daddy well again- i really did." She paused, tears forming little rivers on her cheeks. "I wanted things to go back th way they were before- So i hid his drinks from him..." She broke off for a second, then looked at Impmon with a look that he'd never seen before- from anyone.
"-But he knew! Somehow he knew it was me! And he diddnt understand that all i wanted to do was help...!" The tears flowed freely now, Impmon flet like somthing had reached inside of him and pulled on his heart. It was like it would rip out of his chest at any second- pulsating, even without his blood to feed it.
"-And yet... he diddnt see that. He only sees me as an object in the way- something to kick around when he gets angry... I'm nothing to him... im nothing to ANYONE!" She started to lose her voice, her body treamoring violently.
"...So this is it." Impmon said after a moment.
She looked at him now, one eye hidden by her unruly mass of dark locks.
"I finnaly meet you, Sydney- my tamer- and youre abandoning me."
She blinked, unable to speak.
"I finnaly find someone who was kind to me- genuinely... took me in... trusted me. wanted me. And this is how it ends?!?" Starting to get angry, he clutched his fists at his sides.
"All you stupid humans are the same! All you think about is yourself, and how you feel!" He shook his head violently. "It never occured to you- for a moment- how badly you could be hurting another- all that matters is that everyone pites you and listens to you!" He glared at her angrily, unable to controal himself. "And so now, you plan on leaving your own mother alone with this guy. Now she'll be alone against him- is that what you want?! Huh?!?!" His yell echoed over the city, then all became eerily quiet.
"All that junk you said before- about me being you friend- you were lying." He muttered, glaring at her with a horrible resent. "If you had meant that, you wouldnt be doing what youre doing... youre taking it all back."
"-But i havent taken back anything!" She cried "Why are you talking like this?!? I thought you-" She broke off so abruptly, blinking as if realizing what she was saying for the first time. "..No" She said after a moment.
"No? No what?" He shouted. "You cant belive that- maaybe i cared about you?!?" He paused, his face reddeing even now- and waved his arm in the air- "No- of corse not- youre too damn worried about yourself! You dont care what i think- So why should this stop you?!" Impmon clamped his fists and closed his eyes so tight colors swam in the pitch darkness. "Why should i care...? Why should i even bother...?" He felt something dribble out of the corner of his eye, but he whiped it away angrily.
She took a step foreward, but heasitated.
Impmon heard her approach, but he did not open his eyes until she kissed him.
Her dry and cracked lips graced the skin of his cheek, and slowly and unsurely found his mouth. Her lips on his was like some sort of gift- something he did not feel he deserved- but he took it- and took it gladly.
Almost subconciously he clenched the hem of her gown in his palm. A million and more thoughts swam in his head- and a almost frightening warm feeling began to seep through him- it was so warm, it ached. It was a feeling unlike any other he had experinced before- Even though in reality it only lasted for a breif moment- even thought she was a detested human being- he felt all the anger from only a moments before drain out of him.
Something inside of him cried out for it to never stop- to never let go of the sheer fabric he clenched so strongly in his palm.
Her lips on his was like rain on a desert. Something he only now realized he so desparately wanted- needed to survive- was her rain- her kiss- her.
She pulled away herself, smiling through her tears themselves.
"Good bye, Impmon. I will never foget you... ever. Please don't forget me, eather..."
"I dont need to- i wont! Youre not going anywhere!" He clutched the nightgowns hem tighter in his fist. "Ill help you fix things! Ill protect you from him- from anyone! You cant do this to me!!! you CANT!!!!" He screamed the last part out so loud and heartfelt he wondered if it was him that even said it.
"Sydney... your'e all i have in this world... youre the only person that ever made me feel strong- like i was needed- i always wanted to be needed, by someone! And that someone is you!" He stopped, trying to catch his breath. "...And i think, maybe... i think.... i need you too..." He trailed off squeezing his eyelids tighter. "I didn't mean what i said earlier... youre NOT like the rest of them! youre not! You're... you. You're the same girl who risked her life for me during that battle a few weeks back... No one has ever done that for me! No one has ever put their lives in danger to save mine... But you did."
Something flickered across the girls face. She looked over the edge again, and for a moment, he thought he had her-
-but in that split second, she tore away from him- the thin fabric ripping off in his palm. He reached out again, but missed, and fell to his knees.
"Goodbye, Impy..."
With that, she let herself fall back over the edge of the building.
