I was around ten years old when I first killed. I remembered walking out at night to get a breather. I felt suffocated inside my lonely apartment. The darkness and overwhelming quietness made my nerves jump. I walked down the sidewalk, the street light occasionally going off before turning back on. My hands were behind my head and I looked up at the dark sky. I didn't mind the cold air biting on my skin but I enjoyed the cool breeze, massaging my hot scalp and relaxing my tense body. Believe it or not, I was actually shy starting off in the first days of school. I never interacted with the other kids in the orphanage I was housed in and I didn't give much thought about it. Why talk to other kids when they didn't want to talk to me? I was afraid of rejection, now that I pondered more about it. I was afraid to approach and get shot down. The first days in school were just horrible. When lunch came, no one would approach me and I wouldn't approach the kids. I would sit down in the courtyard, slurping my warm ramen, thinking why no one would approach me to talk or even play. I would always glance at my uniform and note how it was always wrinkled compare to others. I remembered seeing Kiba challenging a chubby looking kid to a race. I paused my slurping and looked on with mild curiosity. And every day I would always see those kids, running around and laughing. I would secretly wish for one them to call me over and join them. I wanted to be a part of them. So when Kiba happened to glance at me and ask me to join them, I took the opportunity with a flash. The joy of being in a group, calling someone a friend, made my heart thump and a smile stretch on my face. Just yesterday another kid was added to our group.

She was a weird one to boot. I remembered seeing her every now and then in the courtyard. I guessed she was a new student since she wasn't there in the opening ceremony. She was different from the rest. Not different like Sakura, whose hair was pink, but this new girl had pupil less eyes that were a light lavender color and her hair was like the midnight sky. I glanced up at the sky and stuck out my tongue in concentration. Yeah, the night sky kind of looked like that new girl's hair. Her hair was pretty, a weird pretty, and her eyes added to the whole "weird but really pretty" package. What was her name? Hinoto? Hichi? Hina…Hinata! I smiled suddenly, remembering how she blushed heavily when I approached her.

"Oi, why are you here all by yourself?"

The girl jumped before hiding behind a tree, her cheeks flushed.

I glanced back at a waving Kiba and an impatient Sakura and looked back at the girl. "Hey, do you want to play with us?"

She came out of her hiding spot and glanced at me then at the screaming group behind me. I gave her a smile that made my eyes close. I wanted her to say yes.

I saw her nod with a big smile, her cheeks still painted a red color, and for a moment I was taken back. Her smile was so beautiful.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards my friends.

"What's your name?"

"H-Hyuuga Hinata."

"My names Uzumaki Naruto! Let's be friends forever."

My chest tickled and I laughed, slapping it. Unfamiliar warmth started to spread throughout my little ten year old body and I vowed to always make Hinata laugh. I don't really understand why I felt that way but I shrugged it off. I passed an alley and I shrieked when a tall man came into my view. I scrunched my noise at the smell of alcohol and I was about to sidestep him when he followed my step. So I stood there, confused why this stranger just popped out of nowhere. I was about to run the other way when he grabbed my collar and pushed me into the darkness of the alley.

Instantly, this fear crept up inside me. Nobody has ever assaulted me before and my heart thundered against my chest, my fingertips growing numb and my forehead sweating. I decided to run while he was still walking my way but I found out that was a horrible mistake since he easily pushed me away with a swift motion of his arm. I crashed loudly against the brick wall, sliding down. I touched my shoulder and I winced, knowing a bruise was forming there. I looked up and glared at the man.

"What do you want from me?!"

The man glared at me and said in a slurry way, "I want to take my revenge on you since the person responsible…" He didn't say the rest instead he charged at me, his bottle high up in the air. I screamed when the bottle hit the side of my head. I felt the blood rush out my open wound and I cried. What am I to do? This bastard started to hit me with his foot again and again, making me moan and curl within myself. I knew no one is coming to my aid. I knew I was alone in that moment and that I didn't deserve this.

His foot hit my jaw.

I knew that if I didn't defend myself, I'll die here with broken bones and torn muscles.

His fist hit my side.

Then, something in me just snapped, like this anger that was locked away deep down in my soul just opened and leaked out. My eyes widened when I felt this power surge within me, making me grab his foot that was inches away from my stomach. I heard him gasp but I didn't care. I twisted his ankle, making it crack. He yelped and retreated. I didn't give him the time when I blindly tackled him to the floor.

Once I was on top, I hit him on his nose, making him cry and grab his now broken nose. I was blinded with anger and I felt my world spin quickly. I began to assault him with hits and kicks. I got up quickly and hit him in the shin, making him cry more. I saw the bottle he used and grabbed it and without a second thought I slit his throat. His blood sprayed everywhere and some landed on me. I laughed, happy that I defended myself. Then, I felt his blood slide down my skin and satisfaction ran through my veins, a smirk planted on my face. I glanced at his broken and bloodied body and something clicked in my mind. I just killed someone. I just took someone's life. I looked down to my shaky ten year old hands that were stained with someone else's blood. I screamed, falling back. I looked at the dead body and cried. I didn't want to kill him but just defend myself. God damn it! I just wanted to protect myself.

"I just wanted you to leave me alone!" I screamed. I gripped my hair, trying to calm down. I looked at the body then at the entrance of the alley. If I leave now no one would know it was me.

With that, I ran out, not looking back. The cold breeze no longer brought me comfort but made me realize how cold it really was outside. The midnight sky reminded me how late I was outside of my apartment and the danger that lurked in every corner. I closed my eyes and thus, missed the figure that was walking towards me. I crashed against someone, the impact making me land on the floor. I yelped from the pain and glanced up to see none other than Hinata looking at me with worry and fear. I cried more. I didn't want her to know I killed someone. She was a new friend I made just yesterday. What if she called me a monster and told the rest? I'll lose my friend's and I'll return to the loneliness I experienced when I was younger. The police would catch me at no time and probably sentence my death. I cried harder and simply sat there, my butt throbbing from the impact, not willing to look up.

Suddenly the cold breeze was replaced with warm skin. Hinata pushed me to her chest and her cheek was pressed on my head. I felt her shaking and I glanced up to see her crying too. I stopped momentarily, my blue eyes widening. I smelled her shampoo and her natural scent that calmed my erratic heart instantly. I hugged her against me, not wanting her to leave me yet. We both cried, our ten year old bodies shaking with too much emotions. I felt numb all over.

I didn't hear when she stopped crying and asked if I was all right. I didn't answer her but I knew that she understood that I wasn't okay. It was a blur of movements and the next thing I knew I was in my apartment. I didn't even question how she knew where I lived. I felt warm water hit my skin and I blinked. I looked down to see my nude body. I blushed, unwanted thoughts forming within my mindscape. I got her message and immediately washed off the blood off my skin and hair. I opened the curtain to see a towel and clothes, including my boxers. I dressed faster than I could blink and ran outside.

There, on my cheap table, rested a cup of green tea. I was disappointed that Hinata wasn't here and I turned to see her curled up in my sofa, looking red in the face. I chuckled, knowing that she probably fainted at some point. I went to her, my body still shaking, and crouched down till our noses met. I silently cried, letting big tears stroll down my cheeks. Why did she help me when I was covered in blood? I wanted to her ask but I was afraid to wake her up.

Flashes of what happened minutes ago caused me to fall back, my side stabbed by the corner of my coffee table. The blood that was sprayed on my body left a satisfying feeling, making my body tingle. The adrenaline that coursed through my blood and clouded my mind made a smirk spread on my face. I remembered the happiness of watching life disappear in those black eyes of my attacker. I felt powerful; the idea that I can take anyone's life away made me feel taller, bigger, and much more like a Kami than a person. I glanced at the sleeping Hinata and my fingers itched to scratch at her throat, making her bleed and scream.

I stopped suddenly and horror grew within me. What the hell was wrong with me? I can't think like that! She's my friend! I can't kill her! I…I…

I ran out of the living room and slid the door shut to my room. I rocked back and forth, afraid of these new found feelings of anger and blood lust but also intrigued by them. I shook my head. What was important right now was that I imagined killing a friend. I stared at my hands, guilt and sadness filled my small body. "Stupid, stupid," I mumbled while hitting the side of my head multiple times.

I was confused. I had enough moral logic to know that murdering was illegal and looked down upon so why did I desire it. Why did I want to kill again? I didn't want to hurt my friends, however.

I vowed silently that I'll never lay a hand on my friends and control whatever this was if it ever grew in the future.

With that small reassurance, I slept.


I woke up with a deep gasp. I ran a hand over my face and scratched my neck while staring at the blanket that was covering my body. I didn't remember that specific moment in my younger years. I didn't even know I went through that. I completely forgot how and when I started killing. It just happened. I shook off the covers and slumped my way to the bathroom. I vaguely noted that it was still dark out. I turned the light on and splashed cold water on my face. I gripped the sink and mumbled something with Hinata's name. I didn't know that she once saw me covered in blood. It made me pause for a bit. If she saw me, a boy she barely knew running at night, covered in blood, why didn't she tell her dad? Wasn't it logical to call the police or even scream upon seeing a blood covered boy? But she didn't. Why?

I shook my head and glanced at the mirror. I wondered if Hinata remembers.