A/N: Chapter seven. This one is something I am guilty of, and it's the reason why I'm forbidden from ever using grenades in Halo.
Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue
Summary: A series of one-shots regarding some of the untold stories from our favorite gang in a canyon.
*Shitty Throw*
Apart from constantly either getting blown up by his own fucking tank or getting beat up by his bitch of an ex-girlfriend, Church had another issue.
Oh, and apart from having the worst fucking aim in all of existence. Seriously, he's only managed to hit what, two fucking targets in the entire series?
And one of those doesn't count because he didn't call it, and the other never happened thanks to Wyoming's voodoo time-manipulation bullshit.
Oh, wait…this isn't meant to be a shitpost. Sorry.
Ahem.
Anyway, Church was strolling along the canyon, like he normally does. As per the usual, there was absolutely nothing for gin to do apart from yell at the two idiots he was forced to call his teammates.
Until he happened to stumble across a strange object that someone had left on the ground.
"The fuck is that?" He bent down to pick it up. It was small. It was also heavy.
And it took him a second to realize it was a fucking grenade.
"Oh, son of a bitch," he groaned.
He cocked his arm back and threw it, hoping it would detonate in midair before it hit someone. Though if he was honest, he wouldn't mind if it just happened to accidentally and totally coincidentally hit either Tucker or Caboose. Shit, maybe he'd get lucky and get rid of two birds with one stone.
Well, technically a grenade…
Except it didn't.
And it exploded on someone.
Someone that when Church saw them, he immediately knew he fucked up. Again.
"Church," Tex growled angrily, her ghost stalking towards him. "You have five seconds to run for your life."
Church took one look at his angry ex-girlfriend, and looked at the Red Base on the other side of the canyon.
One side of the canyon meant he was going to die a brutal death, and the other also meant death, just not as quickly or painlessly.
Church took the smart option and ran towards the Red Base, with Tex in hot pursuit.
No one could forget his screams of terror, and all because of a shitty throw.
A/N: Sorry Church. But, you are just too much fun to torment XD. See you soon!
Discord: DPL #5371
