Dear Jessie,
Today Neville introduced me to Hermione after we were done in the kitchen. He told her that I was putting so much effort into helping the house elves. She smiled at me, and I thought she was going to die. I wanted so badly to say something, anything, that would make her smile again. But before I could get my voice box to work again, she asked, 'Who are you?'.
I don't understand. When Neville introduced us, he said, 'Hermione, this is Sophie. Sophie, Hermione.' so she knew my name. Why did she ask who I am? It's really gotten me thinking. You'd be disappointed to know that I'm hiding under my bed right now. I just ran away as soon as Hermione asked that.
Even if any of them cared to come after me (which I highly doubt) they would have to know where to find the Slytherin dorms (they're hidden) and know the password to get in (which is a secret). But now, I'm wondering. Who am I?
It hasn't been long, only a couple of weeks, but I don't think that I'm the same person that I used to be, back home with you. I'm still coming to terms with what exactly happened, but I'm sure you would understand that. How could I have done something like that? To hurt my best (and only) friend so badly…
And I wonder how it was all covered up. I haven't seen anything on the news about an explosion of any sort, and I'm sure that all the witnesses would be able to testify that it was sorcery. How did the wizards clean up that mess? And why did they let me come here? I'm the only one here who isn't from Great Britain, but I can't be the only American witch, can I? And is there an American school for witchcraft and wizardry? If not where do American witches go? And if there is, how come I didn't get sent there?
Thinking about America in general has me thinking about my parents. I really miss them. I wonder how much they know. Have they known that I'm a witch my whole life? Or are they still unaware, even now?
How did Hogwarts explain my sudden disappearance to them? But I guess the question about them that has me the most nervous is: Do they even miss me at all? I wish that you were here right now, because I know that you would reassure me, of course they must miss me. But there's this nagging feeling I have.
I mean, we weren't the closest even before… you know… but they at least still loved me, I think. It would have been nice for them to actually say that out loud, though, even just once. Surely they've at least noticed that I'm gone though, right? But now I'm worried all over again. What if the professors erased all memories of me from you and them? I'm pretty sure they can do that, I remember reading it somewhere.
I want to believe that that would be so terrible, but that's just me being selfish. I'm pretty sure that forgetting all about me would be the best thing for all of you. I really hope that I haven't completely screwed up my chances to maybe be friends with Luna and Neville. And I'm not even going to let myself think anything about Hermione at all.
Yours always,
Sophie
