The Lost Girl

By: Lena Sauran

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep I do not, nor will I ever, own Bleach or the wonderful characters created by the almighty Tite Kubo. I appreciate him very much for allowing me to play with some of his people. Kaida does however belong to me, so pththth. Also, my first Bleach fanfic, so please review and be nice? Please be nice, this chapter has taken over a year and several re-writes before I thought it was postable. signs off

Chapter 7: Like A Wave Crashing Against Stone

She was a master. Of that, Kaida had no doubt. There was so little strain or concentration on the face of Hinamori Momo as she weaved a complicated kidou combination. There were so many words, especially casting two at a time, but Kaida had asked her teacher to show off a little. There was still a lot of healing that Momo would need to do mentally and emotionally before she was ready to face a battle against anyone, let alone the captain who had ripped her heart out and betrayed her. She had loved and admired him and, in the end, none of that had mattered at all toe Aizen. It wasn't the same for Kaida, but she knew how Momo felt. She'd waited for Renji, believed in him and it had all been useless. Kaida had come to realize that just because they were shinigami did not mean that they did not have the same urges as those in the world of the living. They did not become mindless, heartless souls. They still felt the pain of loss, the aches of betrayal, and the need to belong. They could thrive on love and support just as easily as they could flounder in hatred and anger.

"I don't know how you keep all that poetry straight. I wish it was simpler," Kaida commented as three dummy targets evaporated under the kidou, "let alone two things at once."

"It requires a great deal of focus and concentration." Momo replied as she turned to look at her pupil, "You have the same amount of ability as anyone, but you have to have the will to do the work."

"I couldn't do that, no matter how long I've studied." Kaida replied, motioning to the demolished dummies, "It would just end up with my guts splattered all over the place. It takes talent that I just don't have."

"I'm trying to tell you that you have the talent, Kaida-chan. You just need some patience and practice." Momo sighed, moving to clean up the mess she had made, "It's all about memorization and technique. You could do better. Even Renji improved a little over time. He just puts too much energy into it, like everything. Even wielding your zanpakuto requires concentration and balance between yourself and the energies around you."

"Whoever came up with it couldn't just say what they wanted simply? Like 'blow up the target'?" Kaida asked, making a face, not understanding why it had to be so hard.

Momo just started to laugh. Kaida resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at her teacher, "Balance and respect, Kaida. Nothing worth doing comes easily." Momo chuckled, "Now you try one."

There was so much to remember, it was no wonder that Renji had a tendency to blow himself up. It was hard to achieve balance when you were easily unfocused. There was a huge margin for error, words wrong, too much energy, not enough energy, no aim. It was so much easier to fight with her fists or sword. She lined up and looked at the target, taking a deep breath and letting it out. The practice would come and so would the hard lessons learned about respect and balance. By the end of her lesson with Momo, her head was aching and her body longed for a long, hot soak.

"You are progressing quite well, Kaida-chan, but you need to study. I want you to study the incantations. Write them down, repeat them over and over. Repetition is good for you." Momo said as they walked back towards the Sixth Division.

"If you think it will help." Kaida said with a small nod. She supposed it was like swordsmanship, going through the motions over and over until it because second nature. She looked out over the Seireitei as they walked. She stopped walking as she got an idea, "Will you come with me to visit Gran?" she asked, not wanting Momo to leave yet. A soak would be nice, but so would spending time with her friend.

"I suppose I could do that." Momo replied after thinking about it for a long moment, a small look of guilt in her eyes, "I haven't been good about visiting."

"No one can blame you. You are a fukutaico after all." Kaida replied as they changed directions to head for the Rukon district.

"One should never forget the people who have cared for them."

"Yet far too often, people do forget. That does not mean that we forget them or cast them aside for living their lives." Kaida replied with a small smile to the shorter shinigami.

They exited the Seireitei, both walking silently for a long ways. Kaida glanced at Momo as they walked, noting the other girl's expression. It was like it hurt Momo to be in silence. Kaida could only guess why.

"When are you going to forgive yourself and move on, Momo-chan?" Kaida asked, quietly.

"I'm not sure that I can."

"Then everything you've fought for and accomplished has been wasted." Kaida replied, sadly.

"You can say that because you're not the one that it is happening to. I sit every day and try to make it make sense. How did I become this way? When did everything I know become a lie?" Momo asked, not looking at her friend.

Kaida stopped her the shorter girl, looking at her, "It is not your fault. You have the right to have questions, but if you don't wake up and realize that you aren't the one that did anything wrong, you're never going to get past this."

They just stood there in silence under the trees. Kaida awnted Momo to wake up, wanted to shake her so badly. She wanted Momo to get past the self-pity into the angry phase. The silence was broken before Momo would reply with the frightened squeal of a child followed by a soun all too familiar to Kaida, the roar of a Hollow. Kaida and Momo's heads instantly snapped in the direction of the noise on pure instinct.

"Get back to the Seireitei." Momo said, quietly as she drew her zanpakuto.

"You can't go alone." Kaida protested.

Momo's mouth formed a frown, a thin line of displeasure. Kaida was right. They didn't even know how big the thing was and Momo's last battle had been against Toushiro. "Fine, but if I tell you to get away, you do it and get help." Momo replied, her voice brisk.

"Yes, fukutaicho." Kaida replied as she followed Momo through the trees.

The crying child was what they encountered first, a toe-headed little girl that was terrified. Kaida caught her as the hollow came through the treetops down at them. It looked like a cross between a bat and a slug, diving for the girl in Kaida's arms. Kaida raised her sword to shield the girl as the hollow plowed right into them. She felt the impact all the way down to her bones as it shoved her back. Momo had been fast enough to get out of the way. Kaida still needed to work on speed. What she lacked in speed, she made up for in strength. She pushed against the hollow and got out of the way. The young girl just cried and clung to her.

"Snap! Tobiume!" Kaida heard as the creature shot back into the sky, disappeared into the canopy.

"We need to get out in the open." Kaida said with a frown. The trees were blocking their visual, it could come at them from anywhere. At least Tobiume was projectile as well as physical. Kaida detached the girl from her robes, "We'll take care of it, you get out of here and don't stop until you're home." Kaida instructed.

She followed Momo's lead. She was better at this. Kaida was no where near as fast, so she really got to watch Momo in action. She was so quick. Kaida had to really concentrate to keep up with her. This was an entirely different Momo, focused and strong. The hollow was alternating between attacking and fleeing. It was testing their strengths and weaknesses. It seemed like it was intelligent. That was fairly contrary to everything that they were taught in the academy. Singularly focused on feeding, rather dim-witted, but strong and brutally fast. Kaida tried to get a hit on it, but the creature easily dodged, arching back towards the ground.

"I missed!" she called to Momo. It was so different to be fighting one of the hollows when she wasn't about to be eaten. They were stronger and faster than she remembered.

Concentrate, Kaida!

I am trying!

It is no different than fighting Renji or Soifon! Concentrate!

Momo drove the creature back around to her with kidou blasts. Thank about it like training. Be smarter than your opponent. Don't give up. Strength and speed didn't mean better. She had to do this. Yes, this was a real hollow, but this was what they trained for. It wasn't something to fail just because it was hard. As the creature dove at her, Kaida let it get close before dodging to the left, swinging her sword up in an arch, severing a wing from the body. The creature plowed into the ground, making a wide groove in the dirt. "Hinamori!" she called as she leapt out of range of one of the fukutaicho's fireballs.

The hollow disintergrated under the heat of the fireball and Kaida landed some 20 feet away. Her heart was trying to pound out of her chest. She guessed it was different now that she was a shinigami, or at least working to become one. She didn't know why, yes she'd always been scared before, but she'd also been angry and sad. Momo landed beside her, reaching out to touch her arm, "Are you okay?" Momo asked, knowing first-hand that when it was for year, it was harder.

"I'm not hurt." Kaida sighed, nodding, "It is more intense, I guess."

"I was a freshman when I first faced real hollows." Momo said, moving to sit down, "I was with your brother and Kira in the world of the living. It was this training set-up against dummy hollows, but the real ones showed up. I couldn't imagine running away, but at the same time, it was so scary. All the training in the world doesn't prepare you for it."

"I guess I just got an advanced course?" Kaida asked with a grimace.

"Every situation is different. You were scared, but you kept your head and you didn't freeze. I can't have really expected more. You did well for your first time."

"How did you do? Your first time?" Kaida asked, wishing Momo could see her own strength.

"We were entirely overwhelmed, even with Hisagi. There were too many and they were too huge for a bunch of students. Ten sixth year students died that night. I realize now that it was all a set up. Aizen-taicho set us up to find people who were weak and needed rescuing." Momo said, bitterly.

"You didn't run, against the odds. That doesn't make you weak, that makes you brave." Kaida replied, admiring that even despite possible death, Momo hadn't run away. She wasn't sure if she'd been alone without a fukutaicho there, that she wouldn't have run.

"Yes, brave and foolish."

"Isn't that the mark or a warrior? One part brave, three parts fool?" Kaida asked with a small smile, "Despite what he said or thought of you, Momo-chan, you are not weak. You are smart, and brave, and powerful. You are the one that can stand up and redeem the damage that Aizen has done to your squad. Why can't you see that? See what Toushiro and I see?"

"How do you know? You've barely been around me since I joined the Academy." Momo replied, "People change."

"People change, but not that much." Kaida frowned, "They don't go from being smart and funny to stupid and maligned. He thought you were useless, right?"

"In so many words..."

"Then he has underestimated you. Use that and prove him wrong! Make your squad stronger and prove them all wrong." Kaida snapped, her patience was wearing thin.

"I don't know how. I don't know how to be a leader."

"Well then you help me with kidou and I'll help you with getting back to your old self. No, scratch that, a new self." Kaida insisted.

Momo just looked at her for a long moment, unsure of what to say. Kaida met her gaze with a nod. She wasn't going to give up on her friend, no her family. Momo was family, Toushiro was family, even if they didn't always remember that. Renji was family, but he hadn't earned her loyalty yet. Those two had been with her for so long and that meant that it was not a time to give up on them.

"We have to trust people, Momo-chan. I have to trust you to teach me how to be a great shinigami and you have to trust me to always be honest with you, even when it hurts." Kaida said, quietly, "I am your friend, no matter what. Just like Toushiro, Kira, Renji, and Hisagi."

"I..." Momo trailed, watching her friend, seeing sincerity, "I can not promise anything, but I will try."

"That's all I ask..." Kaida replied with a small smile.

Well I finished another chapter and I'm working on writing chapter 8. Hope you like it. Review please.