Jacob's light snoring helps me concentrate, but Irina's face kept creeping back into my head.
The moving truck dragged behind us. I was riding with Jacob, Mom, and Dad. We're riding in Dad's fancy Volvo, the nice leather felt smooth under my drumming fingers. The heated seats kept my Mom and Dad's natural coldness retreated from my cold body. It was weird being so close to the people I loved the most. Not sitting on a dry rock with Jacob in wolf form and Mom and Dad a few feet away leaning on a tree together.
Mom constantly looked back at me through the mirror or turning around. If my eyelids fluttered over my eyes and my head drooped a little she would fidget around with the bag she kept up by her and offer me a pillow.
Finally, I gave in and took it. I'm sure she watched me sleep for a while. Dad would tell her about my dreams that I had. They weren't good ones. They were nightmares. Stinging as I stood in the snow. Irina staring at me, "I'm sorry." She mouthed, with just a slight amount of real talking.
I jumped up in the seat, beads of sweat down my face. Tears mixing with the sweat making my face covered with water.
My parents didn't even turn back, they had a sour look on their face mixed with sadness. They didn't know what to do with this probably, nervous I was going to get upset if they made a big deal about.
I declined the seat and put the pillow on the head of the seat. I close my eyes.
I'm dreaming. I tell myself. I'm standing on snow. Blank and white. Annoying for how long is goes. No ones with me, except eerie shadows swaying towards me. Heavy fog weighs over us all, blocking my view of them. . .
Then they appear, all of them and Irina's head. Her head rolls around in Aro's hands, and he grins the evil grin he uses when he does something bad, and it's at the expense of others.
I wish I could just stop thinking, never having to think. Just go along with everyone else. Everyone else take care of me, but that would be selfish, and I'm not selfish; at least that's what Mom says. But she lies. All though she promised she would never lie, but that was a lie.
I jump up, no sweat or tears.
"It's okay, Renesmee. . ." Comforts Dad, he looks at me through the mirror. Our eyes meeting; my eyes filled with fright and hurt. His filled with concern and comfort.
My mother turns around in her seat to look at me, "We're home." I stare at her ready to get out stretch my legs and get into our little cottage.
Thump, my luggage hits against my bed then gently bounces. Jacob was at Grandma and Grandpa's house, that was strange; I wasn't there with him. . .
"Edward," Growled my mother hungrily. They continued to talk, but in a low, quiet voice that I couldn't hear.
I pulled out all of my clothes and set them on my bed. strangely human like. It helped me relax, and I needed to relax.
I walked over to my closet and took out all the hangers. I took them back over to my bed, and set them down.
"Ugh." I growl, suddenly my energy was gone.
I throw myself on the bed, and lay my head on the pillow. This would be the only time I would sleep comfortably today.
I close my eyes, begging for unconscious to suck me into the black hole of peace.
The peace is short-lived, I stand on the same snow with the same eerie shadows swaying towards me. The same heavy fog. I should have gotten used to the unusual setting, but no. It terrifies me, my fingers grope around in the air, searching for the secure arm that I used to cling to when they arrived. Nothing.
I cry out for help; nothing.
"Stop!" I scream at them. . .
Something magical happens next. They stop. They freeze. They stare.
Go! I want to scream to them, Go away!
I want to wake up, to have it all be nothing, but a dream. It wasn't a dream the first time. The root to the dreams. . .
Maybe, just maybe, I should attack them. Would I have the strength of them as I had dreamed of once, or maybe I was just imginating.
I scream awake.
"Ah!" I scream, panting. This was getting out of control with my uncontrollable, terrifying dreams. Mom once had these kind of nightmares when Dad left her to protect her from the mate-advenging Victoria; which of whom Dad killed. My family destroyed their entire coven. James, Laurent, and Victoria; in that order.
Victoria never haunted my dreams the way the Voultri did, although I wish she would. My family could easily take her down. And with my parents protective behavior I wouldn't even miss a blink of sleep, but with the nightmares, the protection would be useless. Maybe if I commit suicide. The thought as creeped back into my head several times. Whenever it did Dad would just shake his head in disgust I would think of leaving him and Mom. I would if Jacob didn't exist.
Everyone always thought of me as a perfect girl, no flaws. I was sweet, kind, loving. When really I was scarred from their visit.
I shake my head.
Why were my thoughts going in such a negative direction?
"Knock it off. . ." I mutter to myself.
