I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long. Depression is a bitch.
I do not own Naruto.
Number 4 was my idea.
Important AN at the bottom!
Tobi
1. Hold a basketball next to his face. When he asks what you're doing say, "I've found your long lost brother!"
It was a peaceful day in the Akatsuki base. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and the loud mouthed members of the organization were gone and wouldn't be back until later in the week. Nenia was bored though. And bad things happened when she was bored. With a groan, she rolled out of her bed and padded on bare feet to the mirror in the bathroom. Her hair was wild from bed head as she stared at herself. Instead of doing her hair and putting it up, she merely combed it and left it down. She had nothing to do today that required it to be up anyway, so why bother? She slipped a simple shirt on (don't tell him but it was Itachi's) and some shorts as well as her sandals. She left her room and walked down the hall slowly, rubbing her eyes. She felt coffee was a necessity today, so with a goal in mind, she walked faster towards the kitchen. On the way there she passed the gym area, and only by chance caught the sight of something orange in the corner of her eye. Turning her head, she stared at the orange ball before her eyes lit up and a grin slowly stretched across her mouth. She knew what she was going to do today! She quickly snatched the ball and skipped towards the kitchen, where she could hear Tobi whining about not being able to find his senpai.
She peeked around the corner of the kitchen door, spotting Itachi sitting at the table and drinking tea and eating dango. That boy and his dango. Her lips twitched before her eyes locked onto her target. She hid the ball behind her back and calmly walked over to Tobi, who had his mask smashed into the table, and poked his shoulder. When he looked at her, she revealed the basketball and grinned. "Look Tobi! I've found your long lost brother!" Tobi stared at her, and she could see an amused gleam through his eye hole. Tobi's voice came out, sounding confused, "Ehh? Tobi's brother is a ball?!" Nenia snickered and pressed the ball into his mask. "Yep! It's orange with black lines just like you!" She said cheerfully. Itachi watched her with a raised eyebrow while Tobi squealed and flailed his arms before pushing the ball away. "Tobi doesn't have a brother Neni-chan! Tobi's an only child!" He squeaked. Nenia pouted. "Why aren't you fun anymore?!" She whined, and tossed the ball out the kitchen door. She heard a crash and winced. "WHO THREW THAT?!" She heard the voice of Kisame roar. When his angry face appeared in the doorway, she pointed at Tobi. "I told him it was his brother but he didn't want a brother!" Tobi squeaked in fake-fear before hiding under the table. "Tobi didn't do anything Kisame-san! Tobi's a good boy!" Kisame growled before leaving, muttering about idiots and crazy chicks as he went. Nenia looked at Itachi, who was still staring at her with a brow raised, and gave him a thumbs up. "Now that that's over. Coffee time!" She sang, then skipped to the coffee machine to make herself some. "I highly doubt that is going to help you." Itachi monotoned. Nenia gasped and placed a hand to her heart. "Itachi my love! How could you?!" Tobi giggled under the table. "Don't say mean things to your love Itachi-san! How could you?!" Tobi squealed out as he popped out from under the table. Itachi sighed, feeling a headache coming on.
2. During the week drop hints when all the members are together by saying "Maaaaa….Daaaaa…...Raaa." and "Ooooo…...biiii...tooooo." When someone asks you what you're doing, say you're preparing to try out for a singing competition.
It was later that week that the artist duo and the zombie duo returned to the base. She figured she'd have just enough time to do her next prank before another duo left, so she quickly put it into action. She peeked into the living room and spotted Tobi talking to Deidara. Smirking, she backed up before she walked at a moderate pace past the doorway, using a sing-song voice, "Maa... Daa... Raa..." She could feel Tobi's gaze snap to her as she disappeared behind the wall and continued to walk. She could hear Hidan's exclamation of "What the hell was the bitch doing?!", as she walked away. She smirked to herself as she went to go find Pein. Itachi was busy at the moment, so she had decided to annoy the orange-haired nin. She could feel Konan's chakra in Pein's office, and wherever she was, he was.
Kicking the door down, she waltzed into the office and smirked at the two leaders. Sitting on top of Pein's desk, she snatched one of the papers he was writing on and pretended to read it. She could feel two sets of eyes on her and looked at Pein. "What?" She asked, raising a delicate eyebrow. Pein snatched the paper back, an annoyed expression on his face. He knew exactly what she was up to. "Go bug someone else." He grunted. She gasped, putting a hand to her heart. "But Pein! I thought you loved me!" She sniffed. "You wish I did." He mused. She gasped again and poked his cheek. "Did you just make a joke?" She giggled, then slid off his desk and ran out while screaming, "GUYS PEIN MADE A JOKE!" His eye twitched and he felt the sudden urge to smash his face into the wooden desk. He glanced at Konan to find her silently laughing at him. "Not funny." He growled.
It was an hour later when Nenia did her prank again. Tobi was coloring on the floor in his coloring book while a few of the members did their own things on the couches set around the living area. She walked in and sat on Tobi's butt, making him squeak. "Maaaaadaaa." She whined. "I'm boooored." She felt Tobi tense and switched to laying on top of him, nuzzling the back of his head as she whispered. "Maaa...daaa...raaa." She jumped off before he could twitch and sat in Itachi's lap, trapping his arms between her body and his lap. He gave her a look, which she only smiled at, and tapped his nose. "You're adorable. Have I told you this?" Being so close to him, she could see a muscle in his jaw twitch. "No." He replied. She gasped. "Oh no! This cannot do! You're adorable Itachi-kun!" She squealed. She grinned at the annoyance shining his his eyes. Tobi jumped up and sat on Nenia, making her screech loudly in Itachi's ear. Itachi winced at the horrible sound, grunting from the weight of two people on top of him. "But Nenia-chan, Tobi thought Tobi was adorable!" The masked man whined at her. Nenia immediately snuggled on him, cooing at how cute and adorable he was. Both men's eyes locked and narrowed, Nenia too busy rubbing her cheek against Tobi's temple to notice. They silently communicated the challenge to each other, as well as a warning from Itachi.
Itachi pushed them both off and fixed his book, going back to reading. Nenia landed, sprawling on top of Tobi with an 'oof' when she hit the floor. "So mean!" She cried, kicking Itachi's foot without any real intent to harm. He didn't even bat an eyelash at her. She pouted and sighed loudly. "Ma-da-ra!" She jumped up, Tobi glaring at her from the floor. If she so much as said one more- "Let's go annoy Pein!" She grabbed his sleeve and yanked him up, surprising him at her strength, before dragging him with her. "PEIN!" She bellowed. The other members in the living area stared at the doorway where she disappeared behind before glancing at Itachi. Itachi ignored them as he continued to read. Let her go bother Pein. He knew the man wouldn't hurt her. Despite his disposition, the orange-haired man had a small soft spot for the woman, just as he did. It seemed Nenia wormed her way into everyone's hearts.
Tobi seriously needed to have a talk with her. He really really did. But, later. He wanted to see what she'd do to annoy Pein..
3. Ask him if he's jealous of SasoDei. If he says no scream, "LIAR!" If he says yes, take him to a therapist.
It was Itachi's turn to cook dinner, and Nenia sat at the table and watched him do so. Itachi was a good cook. Better than her, actually. Nenia didn't like to cook, but all members had their turn in the kitchen. She hummed softly as Itachi busied himself, moving about the kitchen silently. As the delicious smells of dinner began to waft through the base, members filed into the kitchen and sat down. Everyone was hungry. It'd been a long time since anyone had a decent meal, since missions had started to come in more frequently.
Tobi sad next to her and kicked his feet back and forth, glancing at her every few minutes. Nenia was oblivious to his glances, but the rest of the Akatsuki weren't. Even Itachi noticed. No one said anything though. It took twenty more minutes before dinner was ready. Everyone filed into an orderly line - after Nenia threatened them that if they didn't they would sleep in the dog house - and got their food. Nenia was last in line, but she didn't mind. She'd also threatened that if anyone took more than they were supposed to, she'd cut out their tongues. She was scary like that. The fact they listened to her and believed her words was a different story.
It was quiet at the table, for once - except for the clink of silverware on plates and sipping of drinks. Nenia turned to Tobi and poked him in the mask. Turning to her, he stared at her, raising an eyebrow at her behind his mask, which was unseen. He tilted his head to the side to show he was listening. "Tobi, do you like SasoDei?" She whispered to him. He blinked and his brow furrowed. "Tobi doesn't understand the question, Neni-chan." He said. She frowned and tried again, tapping her chin with a finger. All eyes were on them and a certain pair of eyes was narrowed at Tobi. "SasoDei. The pairing. You know?" It took him a moment for it to click. "Oh! No, Tobi doesn't want to know that Senpai and Sasori-kun are having sex!" He cried dramatically. Nenia snorted as Deidara choked on his water and Sasori growled. "LIAR!" She screamed at him. "I know you're jelly!" She said. Tobi whimpered. "Tobi isn't a jam, Nenia-chan." He whispered. Nenia snorted and began to laugh, pounding a fist on the table as she cried from laughing so hard.
"Shut up you bitch." Deidara snapped. Itachi and Tobi glared at him, and Nenia smirked. "Aww, no need to deny it Deidara-chaaan." She said, grinning widely at him. He glared at her and growled, twitching and wanting to throw a clay bomb at her. Pein sighed and it quieted down again. Dinner finished without any more trouble - except for Nenia's snickering - and Nenia dragged Itachi to his room afterwards, leaving the dishes to the others.
4. Whenever he's not expecting it, lick his face and claim he tastes like evil bastard and that it's not as popular a flavor as you thought.
A few nights later, Nenia decided to cuddle with Tobi. She'd had a nightmare and didn't want to sleep alone. Tobi, being the friend he was, let her sleep in his bed with him. He didn't know what the nightmare was about, as she refused to speak about it, but when she'd come to him he could see the fear in her eyes. He didn't push her, even if he was really curious about it.
Stretching out, Nenia yawned and flopped onto Tobi's bed in her night shorts and shirt. The shirt was a baggy thing, coming to mid-thigh, and her shorts were short and black, hidden underneath the shirt. The shirt, in fact, belonged to Itachi. Itachi didn't know though - she'd stolen it from him. (Itachi actually did know, he just let her keep it).
Nenia passed out before Tobi did. She was exhausted. She'd gotten back from a mission at six in the morning and hadn't been able to get to sleep until now, at night. It was a long day too. It seemed the majority of the Akatsuki were in the base, and Deidara was annoying the shit out of her all day. She'd finally scared him off when she punched him in the face and threatened to make sure he couldn't be with a woman for the rest of his life.
Tobi watched her sleep, feeling his eyelids get heavy. Scooting closer to her, he drifted off to sleep, dreaming of Rin and Nenia being the same person and not at the same time.
In the morning, Tobi jolted away when he heard a door close. Looking up, he saw that the bathroom connected to his room was closed and he could hear the shower on. Yawning, he rubbed his eyes and ran a hand through his messy hair. Half an hour later, Nenia came out of the bathroom with a towel around her. His eyes widened a fraction as he looked at her and cleared his throat. Turning, she smiled at him. "Morning 'Obi. Sleep well?" She then proceeded to drop her towel with her back to him, and slipped on her pajamas. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth. A croak came out, and he cleared his throat again before forcing out a "Yes" to answer her. If she noticed his behavior, she didn't say anything, which he was glad for. He stood up and began to walk to the bathroom, but she stepped in front of him. Looking down at her, he wasn't expecting the hug she gave him and the whispered "thank you" to his ear. Just as quickly as she hugged him, she let him go and disappeared into the hallway.
He stared at the door before going to take his own shower, a small blush on his face. He needed to take care of a little - ahem- problem as well.
After his morning routine was done, he slipped into his usual outfit and put his mask on. He walked to the kitchen to see Nenia cooking breakfast. His eyes narrowed when he saw that Itachi was helping her, standing too close to her than he liked. He snuck up behind her and hugged her, making her squeak in surprise and slice the Uchiha's hand with the knife she was using on accident. He smirked at that, proud that he got the kid hurt. Nenia gasped and elbowed him in the stomach, to which he grunted and let her go, and snatched Itachi's hand and put it under water. She instructed him to keep it under there, using her stern 'no buts' tone. Itachi didn't argue with her and she went and grabbed the first aid kit above the fridge.
Tobi sat at the table, smugness exuding from him as he watched. Itachi ignored him, focusing on the woman who was putting supplies on the counter. She took a square of fabric and wet it with rubbing alcohol before taking his hand and cleaning it. Itachi didn't make any expression when it stung. She did it again before pressing a clean square against his wound. She then began to bandage it, making the bandage snug but not constricting. Taping it down, she put the supplies away before rubbing the Uchiha's hand to her cheek. "There. Don't take this off for a while. Come to me in the morning and I'll take a look at it to see if I need to get antibiotics from town or not. Keep it clean." She instructed, kissing his hand. Itachi raised an eyebrow at her actions. If he wasn't an emotionless wall of stone, he would've been blushing like a schoolboy by now.
Nenia put the first aid kid away before she whirled on Tobi. Tobi yelped and ran out of the kitchen as she came towards him with her hands raised in a 'I'm going to fucking choke you' pose. Nenia screamed after him, but he didn't hear her words. She sighed and went back to fixing breakfast, pointing Itachi to the table. She rinsed the knife with soap and water before going back to cutting vegetables and tossing them into the frying pan.
When breakfast was done, she served him food before sitting down with her own plate. Itachi smiled at her, thanking her quietly, before silence ensued as they ate quietly. She was still tired, but she didn't have nightmares - which she was grateful for. Yawning to herself, she finished quickly before cleaning up and washing her dishes. When Itachi finished, she did the same for him. Parting ways, she went to hunt down Tobi. On her way, she thought of ways to get him back. She knew he'd done it on purpose too. The bastard.
Locking onto his chakra, she followed it until she found him in the woods surrounding the base. She sighed as she sat beside him silently. Neither of them moved or spoke, but Tobi was aware of her. "Tobi." When she said his name, he tensed. It took him a moment before he turned to look at her. She wrapped her arms around him and then licked him. Stunned, he stared at her when she pulled back, watching her disgusted expression. "Ew." She muttered. "You taste like evil bastard." She stated flatly. Tobi made a sound in the back of his throat. He wasn't sure what sound it was though. "It's not as popular a flavor as I thought." She told him, smirking. Blinking away his shock, he sighed. "Haha you're hilarious." He muttered, using his own voice.
Giggling, Nenia stood up and patted his head. "I'm going to nap. See ya later 'Obi." She walked away, deciding to steal Itachi's bed for her nap. Barging into his room, she saw that he wasn't in at the moment, but she knew he'd be back soon. He had no missions today - she'd checked with Pein earlier -.
Slipping into Itachi's bed, she curled up and closed her eyes, letting out a sigh. She fell asleep easily, the familiar scent of Itachi filling her nose and calming her enough. She began to dream of a life in Konoha, down a different path than this.
Itachi walked into his room, having just showered, and stopped when he saw the girl in his bed. Blinking, he closed his door and dropped his dirty clothes into his laundry basket. He made a mental note to do laundry later. He walked to the bed and sat on the edge, careful not to wake her up, and looked at her peaceful face. He used his finger to move some of her silky black hair out of her face, a small upturn of his lips making his features soften. He stood up and grabbed a few scrolls to read then slid into the bed to lean against the bed frame beside the sleeping Kunoichi. Glancing at her, he began to read, enjoying the sounds of breathing beside him.
For the first time in a very long time, he felt at peace.
AN: Hello there. I've come to a road block. I only have two scenarios for Zetsu, but I don't want to short you guys out. So, this is where you come in! I want Zetsu to be the next chapter, so until I get two or three more scenarios nothing will be posted.
Anyway, send in scenario ideas in your reviews! Thanks! Please leave a review!
