Happy...late...Valentine's Day, everyone! Or Forever Alone Day as I like to call it. First of all, I'd like to apologize for not updating in forever. I haven't been busy, it's really just because I'm lazy. I have been meaning to get back into fic writing again but you all mostly owe this chapter to shilo wallace because they left me a very lovely and inspiring review on one of my fics. So thankyou again! And also thankyou to everyone else who reviews and supports me! Even when I'm lazy and unmotivated ._.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own The Saga of Darren Shan.


Darren: -Pokes Steve's lifeless body-

SL: What are you doing?

Darren: He's been unconscious since I got here.

SL: -Kicks Steve-

Steve: -Rolls over-

SL: Dude, what's wrong with you?

Steve: It was Valentine's Day yesterday and I was forever alone. -Cries-

SL: Darren, say you love him.

Darren: I love you, Steve.

SL: There, problem solved. Now our first question is actually for me. harkat fan asks "Where is Harkat?" I...actually have no idea.

Harkat: -Casually strolls in- Did somebody...mention my name?

SL: Say hi to your fan, Harkat.

Harkat: Hello. Can I leave now?

SL: Sure. Now...Larten, where the heck are you? Larty? Larty!

Larten: -Suddenly in the room- What do you want? I am right here.

SL: Hi, Larty! Anyway, harkat fan dares you to eat bat broth.

Larten: -Sighs- Fine. -Strolls over to a table at the other side of the room and noms on the bat broth-

Steve: Where did that table come from? And who made the bat broth?

Larten: -Finishes it and pushes the bowl away-

SL: So...

Larten: So what?

SL: You're so unenthusiastic. Anyway, Leonard!

Steve: What?

SL: You've got to make out with Evanna now, 'kay?

Steve: Hell no!

SL: I'm sorry but MOeMoE KaGAmI requested it. It's either her or Debbie and Debbie's dead.

Evanna: -Floats in- Must I do this?

Steve: Oh, great. Now there are two evil witches here and I have to kiss one of them.

Evanna: What did you call me?

Steve: Nothing. Let's just get this over with.

SL: Just pretend she's Darren, Steve.

Steve: Don't even say that. -Quickly pecks Evanna on the lips then goes to wash his mouth out with soap-

Evanna: … -Disappears-

-CirqueDuFreakForever randomly glomps Kurda in the background-

SL: Now, just to make Ozuma thy Awesome Vampanatic 8 happy, Vancha shall make a pointless appearance.

Vancha: -Drops like a ninja then throws one of his shurikens at Steve-

Steve: -Ducks- What the hell?

RV: -Gets hit with the shuriken- AH! Dammit, I hate my life.

Vancha: -Shrugs-

SL: Anyway, that's all for today, my lovelies. Sorry for being MIA. You'll hopefully be seeing more of me from now on.