The Marauders Discover Fanfiction

Chapter Seven: The Master Pranks

First Uploaded: June 3rd, 2014

Re-done: April 29th, 2015

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Harry Potter. It's sad, really.

"Right, this next one is called, "The Master Pranks, and it's by Patronus12. It doesn't include any description." Remus said hurriedly, shielding the laptop away from the others.

Sirius looked over Remus' shoulder, and smirked. "HA! The description is 'Go Padfoot!'" he said smugly.

"The reason I didn't want to show you guys the description," Remus muttered to James, "is because all this Fanfiction describing him as 'hot' non-stop really isn't doing anything good for his ego."

"D'ya think the title is about me? It could have to meanings: the first one is that our pranks are master-class, the second one is that I am the master and I prank." Sirius said.

"You have three seconds to shut up."

"But I am a master in pranking-"

"Three-"

"And the summary is 'go Padfoot'-"

"Two-"

"So I'm guessing it's about me-"

"ONE!"

"Fine…" Sirius sulked. "But I get to read it!"

"I'm bored," Sirius said.

"Wow, that really is my infamous sentence."

"That's nice," Peter said.

"I like my reaction." Peter said. "I think I'll use it more often! I can picture it: 'I'm hungry!' Sirius will say, and I'll reply, 'That's nice,'. Or he'll tell me 'I want to prank Snape,' and I'll say, 'That's nice,'."

"Wanna prank?" James suggested.

Sirius grinned evily.

"Never a good sign." Said James.

First, they got Dumbledore.

"Dumbledore?" James asked. "Hm, we'd never get Dumbledore. McGonagall? Sure. Filch? Gladly. But Dumbledore? Not a chance!"

No one knows what they did, or how they did it,

"Usually the case with our pranks," Sirius said smugly.

but during lunch, Dumbledore was standing on top of the staff table dancing the Macarena, covered from head to foot in an odd combination of raspberry pie, treacle tart, and pumpkin insides.

This set off loads of reactions, all at once.

"Oh Merlin…" said Remus. "We'd be expelled for sure."

"What's the Macarena?" Peter asked.

"It's this really weird dance."

James replied, whilst Sirius said, "Treacle tart is too good to be wasted on pranks!"

"I wish we could do that in real life!" Peter said, a dreamy look on his face.

"I really wonder where these authors get these ideas." Said Remus, shaking his head.

Next, they decided to do a prank call.

"What's that?" Sirius asked.

"It's when you pretend to be someone else when you call." James clarified. The other three stared at him. "What?"

"How do you know that?" Remus asked.

"My cousin, Sarah, and I called my aunt once pretending to be the Minister of Magic. Needless to say, she didn't believe it."

"And what's the point in that?"

"There's no point. It's for fun." James said.

"How do you even know how to work a telly-fone?" Sirius asked.

"My cousin showed me."

They stole Lily's muggle phone and dialed Voldemort's

Peter winced at the name.

number.

"Wait, Voldemort has a phone?" James asked.

Yes, Voldemort has a phone.

"How would you know, Sirius?" James asked, believing that his friend had just answered him.

Sirius laughed. "No, it says it in the story! I'm just reading it."

"The Dark Lord speaking."

"It would be highly interesting to hear Voldemort speak on the phone, but I doubt that he'd use such a muggle invention, seeing as he is so anti-muggles." Remus said thoughtfully.

"Remus, when will you learn not to try to see sense in Fanfiction?" Sirius said.

"You suck!" Sirius barked into the phone.

"And your originality always amazes me, Padfoot." James said.

"Shut it, I'm talking to Voldemort on Evan's phone. Are you that cool in this Fanfiction?"

"Yeah Voldy, stop looking like such a constipated poo face

James laughed, whilst Peter and Remus glanced around somewhat nervously.

trying to murder people cuz some day you're gonna fail and die!" James laughed.

Sirius and James chuckled, but Remus was looking a little worried and Peter had gone pale.

Then Peter and Remus both blew a raspberry and hung up. Lily had just walked in.

"Oh-oh,"

"YOU GUYS! YOU STOLE MY PHONE AND SPIT ALL OVER IT!"

"Why did we spit all over it?"

"When Remus and Peter blew a raspberry."

"That must have been one sticky raspberry." Sirius laughed.

"What does that mean?" Sirius asked, pointing at the three hyphens on the screen.

"It's a transition. So we're basically in a new scene now." Remus clarified.

The Marauders smirked. Time for the third prank, and who is better to do it on than Snivellus?

"Exactly." Sirius laughed.

They snuck up behind him in the halls and screamed in his ear, "WANT SOME SHAMPOOOOO?"

"We've done that before!" James said, high-fiving Sirius.

Snape screamed like a girl

"I must say, his reaction in this one is funnier than the one in real life." Sirius said.

and proceeded to run in circles still screaming.

"I'd pay to see that." James said. "It would make my day. No, my year. No, it would make my life."

The Marauders used him as target practice for their silly string. Once Snape was covered in it, they ran up to him and started throwing bananas, tomatoes, and shampoo at him, screaming "BOTHER! BOTHER!"

The marauders all laughed. "What d'ya think he'd do if we did that in real life?" Sirius asked James.

"Erm, hex us and report us to McGonagall?" James said.

"I like Fanfiction!Snape better…" Sirius grumbled.

During the next hour, they did multiple things. They turned him green, decided they didn't like it, turned him purple, decided they didn't like that either, turned him a mixture of purple AND green,

Sirius was struggling to read by now, because he was laughing so hard.

James was clutching his stomach, laughing so hard he could barely breathe, and even Remus and Peter were laughing loudly.

shoved Veritaserum down his throat, forced him to answer a bunch of embarrasing and hilarious questions,

Sirius couldn't read anymore, and he handed the laptop to Remus between chuckles.

turned him into a sparkly pink unicorn,

Sirius and James had tears of laughter running down their cheeks. "Oh, the mental images!" Sirius howled.

"Yeah- Snivelly as a pink unicorn!" James said, clutching his side.

"And- oh- those embarrassing questions."

"I wish they'd told us what they were."

"And him being pink and colourful!"

and somehow made him skip away singing "It's a Small World After All"

Even though none of the marauders had any idea what song that was, the thought of Snape singing made them laugh even harder.

at the top of his lungs in a high pitched voice. To this day, no one knows how.

They were laughing so hard on the way up to the common room that night that they could only say one thing before going to bed.

Best. Prank. Day. EVER!

Sirius wiped his eyes, and gave a few final chuckles. "I liked that one!" He said. "I like the way they portrayed Snivelly."

Remus rolled his eyes at him. "I think all this Fanfiction is bad for you- it's giving you bad ideas!"

"Me? Never!" Sirius said, folding his eyes. "But I really feel like hexing Snivellus right now, don't you, Prongs?"

"Yeah! Shall we go?"

Remus quickly said, "Oh, let's read another one!"

Sirius and James reluctantly sat down. Or, well, not so reluctantly, because they were both excited to read another story.

"Okay, so this one looks interesting…"


A/N: So! That's the end of the chapter! A big thanks to Breeze from Patronus12 for this hilarious oneshot. Sirius and James really liked it!

Xo

~Coco