A/N: I totally loved writing this chapter, so I hope you guys like it too. Thanks again for all your patience while I was busy writing my new story 'Love Will Come Through' and 'Cabin Fever'. You guys are truly awesome with your reviews and I would go out and hug each and every one of you, if I wasn't worried about your cooties. Just kidding.
Anyways, I'm hosting a BQQ in a hour, so I should get on that shit. Have a great afternoon! Enjoy the read.
I don't own twilight, but I do have a shitty BBQ just aching for some hamburgers, sausage and hot dogs.
Song for Chapter 7: Taking the Long Way - The Dixie Chicks
EPOV
Niagara Falls led way to Pittsburgh and then Cleveland, Detroit and Columbus. A week later and we were heading through Cincinnati, Louisville and Indianapolis; with a one day stop in Bloomington because Jasper wanted to try to find John Mellencamp. After Bella and I both accused him of being on crack because he made us drive through the entire town for five hours, he finally gave up and we continued on to Indianapolis.
While in Pittsburgh we saw Andy Warhol's stuffed Great Dane, while inside the Andy Warhol museum, which Bella loved. She kept saying it was her favorite part of the trip, but I figured that was because we hadn't made it to any art galleries yet and Chicago was still a few days away. I knew she would love Chicago the most. In Cleveland, where we ended up spending two days, we spent half of our time inside the Rock and Roll Museum, where we ended up losing Jasper for almost three hours. Apparently he went out back and smoked up with three janitors he met near the Bob Marley exhibit. Only Jasper could manage that shit.
We spent a night in a grain silo down near Akron that had been converted to a hotel that Bella and I found fascinating, while Alice seemed a little put out. I didn't care though, since she had been calling the shots on the trip since day one. Alice and Jasper lost a bet and they allowed us to pick what we wanted to do for two whole days, including where we slept and we clearly won. That was also the last time they will challenge Bella to eat anything. The girl might be tiny, but she packs a huge appetite.
Today though, we were off to the tiny town of Gays, Illinois. Even the name made Jasper and I giggle like school children. Jasper has been beside himself for two days since Alice mentioned we would be going to a two story outhouse. "Did you know they have an outhouse tour, where you can specifically tour various outhouses around the country?" he asked excitedly from the back seat.
"Um… no. Who the hell would want to tour outhouses… other than you of course," asked Bella as she sat in the passenger seat beside me, navigating us down highway 70 and playing with my iPod. We were currently listening to 'The Perishers' and I watched intently as Bella sang along quietly beside me.
"Well Bella, if there is an outhouse tour, Jasper clearly isn't the only one off his hinges," I added as I heard Jasper groan at me from the back seat.
"Outhouse... the tourism industry… who would have thought?" finished Bella as I watched her lay her head back against the seat. "When we pull into Terre Haute, can we find a Wal-Mart or something?" she asked nervously as I watched her tap her fingers against the window.
"Sure. I'm assuming you two are cool with a Wal-Mart break?" I asked Alice and Jasper, who were apparently trying to smother each other with their faces. I heard a grunt from the backseat and simply assumed they were fine with everything.
We had at least an hour to go until we reached Terre Haute, so Bella and I started talking about anything we could come up with as we tried to drown out the slurping noises coming from the backseat. "Can you believe it's been over three weeks since we left New York?" she asked with a slight smile as she rested her feet on the dashboard of the Yukon, her shoes now resting on the floor.
"It certainly doesn't feel like three weeks. I can hardly believe we'll be in Chicago tomorrow to see Rosalie and Emmett. You must be excited to finally touch base with her about the wedding plans?" I asked supportively. Bella and Rosalie had talked several times a week regarding the wedding and Rosalie was apparently getting more excited now that she had picked out colors. None of this stuff made a lick of difference to me, but I was trying to be supportive of Bella in her role as Maid of Honor.
"If I am being honest, all her wedding plans made me a bit nauseous. I mean, who needs 300 people to come to their damned wedding. When we eventually get married, I'll be happy if it's you and me and some minister," she said genuinely as I reached over and grasped her hand in mine.
"I'll remember that, eventually," I said with a smile as I thought about the ring still hidden safely in my luggage. Every time I looked at it, I felt nervous because I knew I wanted to propose to her in Forks, but that was still a few weeks away. I was definitely over thinking the proposal, but I wanted everything to be perfect. I used to dream of taking her back to Europe to propose, but since I wouldn't wait that long, I was hell bent that I was going to ask her this summer, before we got back to New York.
Bella seemed nervous as we pulled into the parking lot of the Wal-Mart and she pulled Alice from the backseat with her. "I need to go get some girly things," she said with a wink towards me as I noticed her hand tighten around Alice's.
"Oh," I said anxiously, knowing full well when she called it 'girly things' she meant tampons. "Jasper and I are gonna go get some snacks and another foot pump to replace the one he broke in Ohio."
I watched as Bella nodded her head before she gave me a chaste kiss on the lips. She and Alice wandered to the left in the store and Jasper and I turned right. At least she wasn't making me buy girly things with her.
BPOV
"Calm down Bella. The tampons aren't going anywhere," said Alice as I noticed her little feet moving as fast as they could. I just wanted to get out of earshot of Edward.
"I don't fucking need tampons," I mumbled as we finally slipped down one of the pharmacy aisles and she stopped in her tracks.
"Then why the mad dash to get here," she sighed as she slipped her hands on her hips.
"I'm late."
"For what?" she asked curiously before her move fell open and she pulled her head out of her ass, realizing my problem. "How late?"
"Almost a week."
"No shit. Well let's get you some tests," she added sweetly as we slowly found our way over to the aisle with the pregnancy tests and she tossed a couple in my direction. "Here, try this one, it's digital."
I groaned as Alice filled my hands with five different tests, all of them different and all of them very overwhelming. When I noticed two days ago that I was late, I chalked it up to being sick a few weeks ago, but then I remembered that my period was usually like clockwork thanks to the medication my doctor had put me on three years ago. I only realized it two days ago, but based on everything I knew about my body, I was actually five days late. This could not be happening, could it?
"Where are we going to do this?" she asked supportively as I looked down at all the boxes in my hands.
"I don't know," I admitted sadly as I felt her arm slip behind my shoulder.
"Bella, Edward loves you more than anything in this world. If you are pregnant, he'll love it. Hell, I'm sure he's already got names picked out for future kids, so calm down. Let's find out if it's true first. You'll always have the support of me and Rosalie, even though she'll probably be mad that you'll need to wear a maternity gown for her wedding, but oh well," laughed Alice as I imagined telling Rosalie about the pregnancy and watching her head pop off in aggravation.
"I'm not worried about whether he loves me, I'm worried about what happens if this is positive," I said as I waved one of the boxes in front of her. "Are we actually ready to be parents? We don't even have plants because we keep killing them," I sighed as she squeezed my shoulder supportively.
"Well then, we'll get a plant next. Maybe even a cat, to prove that you can handle a baby. You two have handled everything else life has thrown at you, why not a baby?" said Alice with a grin. Apparently she was warming up to the idea of Edward and I having a baby, but I wasn't. I had a great job awaiting me back in New York, which would only get screwed up by me walking in there on the first day and telling them I'll be gone in seven months to give birth to the first Cullen grandchild.
"Our parents will kill us," I said nervously as Alice smiled at me with a wide grin.
"My parents won't. Esme has been trying to find a way to marry you and Edward off as soon as humanly possible. You should have heard them discussing wedding plans at your commencement."I guess she was right. Our parents were ready for us to get married, but I don't think they were prepared to become grandparents.
"Can you go distract Edward and Jasper for five minutes while I pay for all of these?" I asked genuinely. Alice nodded her head as she danced towards the sporting goods section to find the boys. I stepped to the first open cashier reluctantly and tried to ignore her gaze as she looked down at all the pregnancy tests on the counter. She was acting as if I was the first person to ever buy one. I handed her the fifty dollar bill, snatched my change back and ran to the SUV in a flash to hide the tests.
As I was walking back into the store, I saw Edward, Jasper and Alice all walking out, their purchases in their hands. "What are you doing out here?" asked Edward curiously as he opened the trunk of the SUV and put their bags inside.
"I was putting my bag in the car. I know how nervous you get around 'girly things'" I said with a nervous chuckle as I watched him tense up again. I hopped into the passenger seat and waited for everyone in the back to get settled. As we turned back onto the highway, my mind was racing as I tried to think of where the hell to take the damned tests. I was desperate to know the results, but I honestly couldn't tell my boyfriend that I had taken the test in a Wal-Mart bathroom. What a great story to tell the grandkids one day, I snorted to myself as Edward turned his head to look at me.
"Everything alright?"
"Just peachy," I lied as I thought about the bag of tests hidden beneath my seat. Every so often I would glance back at Alice in the rear view mirror and for once she looked as concerned as I always thought she should be. Perhaps she was wondering where the hell I would take the test too.
EPOV
It took us just over an hour and half before we pulled into the small grassy area outside of the two-story outhouse in Gays, Illinois. "It's spectacular," exclaimed Jasper as he hopped from the car simply bursting with excitement.
"It's a two story white clapboard shitter, how exciting can it be?" I asked with a laugh as I watched Alice and Bella whisper to each other, most likely making fun of Jasper.
"This is a masterpiece of toilet art," said Jasper as the rest of us all groaned. Seeing as this was now our third multi-level toilet since the trip started, none of us were impressed anymore. If anything, it was now just getting annoying. Alice thrust her camera at me and insisted I take a few pictures of Jasper.
"Why aren't you doing it?" I asked curiously as I watched her walk away from me looking both nervous and angry.
"Cause I need to go take a piss and these bathrooms don't actually work. Now take a fucking picture of my stupid boyfriend. Bella… care to join me?" added Alice as I watched both girls grab their purses and head into the woods directly across the street from the outhouse.
I snapped a few photos of Jasper, who insisted on climbing up to the second story, even though there weren't actually any steps. "Did you see this thing dates back to 1872? I don't believe that. It looks too new," said Jasper, clearly not concerned that our girlfriends had just wandered into the woods to take a piss together.
"I don't believe that either," I said casually as I took a few more photos. Once we were done, we moved over to the small sign board which had details about the outhouse and Jasper took a few photos as he read every single word on the board, aloud. "Do you think it's weird they went to the bathroom together in the woods?"
"No. Don't girls usually do that shit together?" said Jasper non-chalantly.
"I suppose so, but they seem to be taking a long time."
"Maybe Alice is having performance anxiety. She gets that way sometimes. Once she had to go really bad, but she couldn't because I was in the bathroom taking a shower. I kept telling her to just come in, but she waited impatiently just because she couldn't piss with other people around. She's weird," added Jasper as I felt even more concerned than before.
"Well if she can't piss with people around, why the fuck would she take Bella with her?"
"Safety man. Perhaps she was worried about raccoons or something," sighed Jasper. I was about to say something else when we noticed the girls walk out from the forest, both of them looking pale. "See… they're fine, so stop worrying about it. All they did was pee."
When we got back into the car, Alice and Bella insisted on sitting in the backseat together, which was the first time in three weeks that had happened. They seemed to be texting together in the back and even though I tried to ignore them, it was hard to focus on the road. I glanced down at the clock and it was almost two in the afternoon. Alice handed us the bag of snacks from Wal-Mart and while Jasper and I started to chow down on a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, Alice and Bella however, began eating the bag of rice cakes that Alice had insisted on buying when she found us in the chip aisle at Wal-Mart. Bella hated rice cakes.
BPOV
"Bella, we can go into the woods to pee and take the tests," Alice whispered to me as we watched Jasper gush over the newest two story outhouse we had found.
"This is a masterpiece of toilet art," said Jasper as we all groaned in response to his enthusiasm. The two story outhouses were getting old, but Alice's idea was perfect. As perfect as it was going to get anyway. I had shoved the tests into my purse after Edward had gotten out of the SUV, so now all I needed was a place to do them.
"Why aren't you doing it?" Edward questioned Alice after she shoved her camera against his chest and insisted that he take pictures of Jasper and his awe-inspiring toilet.
"Cause I need to go take a piss and these bathrooms don't actually work. Now take a fucking picture of my stupid boyfriend. Bella… care to join me?" she added as I simply nodded my head and followed her across the street to the small wooded area that Alice thought was suitable for this. The closer we got, the more I thought I should have done it in the Wal-Mart bathroom.
"Okay, so how many tests did you buy?" asked Alice once we were a few hundred feet in. I couldn't see the outhouse anymore, which was a good sign.
"Four," I said solemnly. My heart was beating out of my chest and I desperately wanted to throw up, but I mustered up all the strength I could to continue. "You open them all up and stand on the other side of the tree. When I tell you to, you hand them to me and I will take them."
"Okay boss," said Alice as she started to rip open the packages one at a time. Each test looked the exact same, yet different. Some were digital, some were blue, some were white, but they all held my future in their hands. I wasn't sure I wanted to trust my future to some thick looking popsicle sticks. "Let me know when you are ready."
I stepped behind the huge tree and nervously pulled down my pants as I crouched behind the tree. "Okay, let's do this."
Five minutes later, we stared at the four tests lying on the ground in front of me.
"What are you going to do?" asked Alice as she nervously paced behind me.
"The last test hasn't revealed its fate yet," I replied apprehensively. "Perhaps it will be different."
"Yeah, maybe it will get up and do a little dance as it screams out that you are pregnant, instead of the others that just read 'pregnant'" stated Alice firmly as I heard a slight chuckle slip from her lips. "Face it Bella, you're gonna be a mommy."
I slumped down against another tree and put my face in my hands as I clutched my knees against my body. "Don't you think it's a wee bit ironic that you are curling up in the fetal position?" laughed Alice as I looked up at her with a death stare. "Okay, not funny."
"Of course it's not funny. This wasn't part of the plan. The plan was to start our jobs, get married, buy a house and then have a baby closer to when I was thirty, not when I was twenty two." I sighed before I started to cry. Alice curled up beside me and wrapped her arms around my body.
"People do this all the time Bella. You and Edward at least have love on your side. If it helps, you're going to be twenty three in a few months and Edward will be twenty three in two days," said Alice as she tried to console me. All I could think about though was how our plans had flown out the fucking window. "Can I ask one question though… I thought you were on the pill?"
"I was… I am… When I was sick Edward was filling me with god knows how many different kinds of drugs to make me feel better and if everything I figure it right, it happened then. On the first night in the cabin… on your bed." The moment the words came out of my mouth, Alice looked at me incredulously.
"You guys fucked in our bed?"
"Well, you and Jaz fucked in the SUV right? When you claimed to go to the store?" I asked in response as she rolled her eyes and then smiled. "Yeah, that's what I thought."
"I bet the boys are getting concerned. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that it doesn't take ten minutes to take a piss in the woods," laughed Alice as she helped me up from my seat against the tree and I wiped the branches and dirt from my ass. I threw all the tests in to the Wal-Mart bag and threw them in the garbage can beside the outhouse, once we had gotten back.
Edward pulled me into a big hug the moment we joined them back at the outhouse as Jasper began to tell us all out the outhouse, which he insisted was over a hundred years old though we didn't believe him. "Do you guys mind if Alice and I sit together in the back seat?" I asked sweetly as they both shook their heads and Jasper jumped into the passenger seat eagerly. I was certain that he just wanted to mess with the music and I was right, because the moment we were on the road, he started singing along to the 'Doobie Brothers'.
I watched as Alice pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and then whispered for me to do the same. Since we couldn't talk about everything, apparently we were resorting to texting each other.
Alice: When are you going to tell Edward?
Bella: Can I wait till the baby pops out? I heard her giggle quietly before finally typing on her keypad.
Alice: I think he might notice before that. I hear your boobs will get huge, he'll love that.
Bella: Great, my reason for keeping the baby… huge hooters.
Alice: Are you thinking about not keeping it????
Bella: Of course I'm keeping it. Even if Edward doesn't want it, I'm keeping it. I love it already even though it's barely the size of a peanut.
Alice: Phew, you had me worried there for a moment.
Bella: I need to see a doctor. I think I will wait until Forks. What's a few weeks right?
Alice: Okay, but you need to tell Edward soon. He's smart, he'll figure out something when you stop drinking and eating sushi.
Bella: I have to stop drinking? Fuck me.
Alice: That's what got you into this problem in the first place.
Bella: Does this mean you're going to start keeping your legs shut? I thought that was a physical impossibility.
Alice: Oh it is. It just means Jasper and I will have to be extra careful about keeping his trouser snake under wraps.
Bella: Thanks for that image. I think I might be sick.
Alice and I texted for the remainder of the trip, which luckily was only two hours, until we pulled into the parking lot of our hotel in Springfield, Illinois. We both had a huge laugh half way through the drive when Jasper found a country music station on the radio after he was bored of his iPod. The song was 'The Long Way Around' by the Dixie Chicks.
"How fucking ironic," laughed Alice loudly as Jasper and Edward looked back at us and we simply kept singing along with the music.
My friends from high school
Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes
Where their parents liveI was about to become a mom… and I was definitely taking the long way around.
But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow
I hit the highway in a pink RV with stars on the ceiling
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel
I've been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow
By taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around
