Author's Notes: Since most of you asked for the full conversation, here it is. It's super tiny, but I'm working hard on the second part, so don't give up on me! As many were confused during Kurt's little... love yourself moment, I'll explain:

"Kurtofsky" - Actual, in the moment conversation, be it face to face or through the phone.

"Pirates" - Something Kurt (until now, since the narration has been all from Kurt's perspective) is remembering from other conversations with Dave - unless it's something like "What?" or "Why?", which comes in the middle of a conversation and is obviously not a memory.

Karommel - Thoughts.

Hope it's clear now!

I also wanted to answer some questions:

mothamaeghan : Thank you! I had already written this conversation before and I0m planning to keep Dave's thoughts to myself for a while, but I think we might see something of his brain (hopefully not literally) in the next part =) And no, they were definitely not having phone sex again (I wish), it was all Kurt's memories of other conversations.

HPalto87 : See, I was afraid I'd be tying people's imagination down! I love writing dialog pieces, but I felt they needed this. So sorry for almost getting you in trouble! Dave's a goof, that's what he is. "Scathingly wonderful." - Best two word description of Kurt EVER. I'm writing as fast as I can!

LizzyPoodle: Well, that teaches me to keep any kind of liquids out of reach when I'm reading reviews -"nice and long"? I nearly died, but maybe that's just my pervy mind.

dorydafish: God, I'm high in love with your reviews. The bit where "Kurt was tending to himself" was completely unplanned! I was finishing their conversation and then Kurt started thinking about Dave and getting all hot and bothered and, well. But thank you! Sex scenes of any kind are the trickiest to write. About the Drunken Phone Sex moment, I think Kurt's still on the fence about it. He doesn't want to want Dave to remember, but... he might feel just a little bit put out if Dave doesn't. Messy.

And it is SO a DATE.

I love Rachel. I needed someone to be supportive and someone else to voice all the reasons Kurt should watch his back. At first, Mercedes's was supposed to be the supportive one, but I wanted Kurt/Rachel friendship more. And Puck's the adorable one!

Awwwwww, you read those lines exactly how I wanted them to be read!

Nope, "Alright, Bossy." comes from the phone sex part. The problem was Dave called Kurt Bossy now, which he had never apart from that one time when he was drunk. Cue Kurt's freak out. The shower stuff was from chapter 3 (if I remember correctly, even I get confused), when Dave was very sober and telling Kurt exactly what he would have done with him when he saw him in the locker room that time Kurt was playing as kicker. I do have stuff to do that I should be doing instead of writing free smut, but, yeah. I'm addicted to this stuff. And the next chapter will be at least as long as the first part =D

jekyllhj7 : Too many people talking to one receiver - trouble. That's exactly how Dave felt, though ;)


"Dave?"

"Did you know that if you leave open milk in the fridge for long enough it starts smelling like old cheese?"

"I'm not spending our friends-date in the emergency room, David."

"Really smelly old cheese. French stuff."

"I'm sure. Why don't you save it for later? We'll buy you a nice bottle of aged red wine and some crackers to go with it."

"But I'm hungry now!"

"I'll buy you popcorn."

"You wanna be my sugar-daddy? Not sure I'm there yet."

"Too bad. Are you ready?"

"I still got an hour, don't I?"

"David…"

"'Fraid I'm gonna stand you up?"

"No."

"Pretty sure of yourself, aren't you, Fancy?"

"I've got an overprotective dad, an overbearing, self-entitled big brother, and plenty of jock friends who still feel incredibly guilty for not sticking up for me when I actually needed them to. Oh, and Lauren."

"Shit, Hummel!"

"You'd better not stand me up, then."

"Aww, stop. You're makin' me feel all tingly."

"Believe me, Karofsky, if you don't show up promptly at seven o'clock, my family and friends will be the least of your problems."

"That so?"

"Let's just say I know my way around a car engine and leave it at that. You'll be up to your eyes in maintenance payments before you even get it running."

"Better go get ready, then."

"Mm-hmm."

"Wanna know a secret?"

"Oh?"

"I've been ready for three hours now, Fancy. Called you before to know if you wanted to meet a little earlier."

"… why didn't you?"

"You seemed busy."

"Oh."

"Fancy?"

"I'm – I'm ready now, if you –"

"Yes."

"Oh. Oh, alright. Shut up, Rachel."

"Fuck. She's still there?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Go away, you excessively talented pixie."

"Kurt?"

"I was talking to Rachel, of course."

"Figured."

"I don't think anyone could ever mistake you for a pixie, Dave."

"You done with the fat jokes?"

"What? David, I –"

"Yeah, whatever."

"David!"

"… what."

"You don't want me to get mad at you today."

"Why's that?"

"Because – oh, I'll see you later. I mean, in a while."

"Fancy?"

"Yes?"

"You look hot."

"…"

"Come on, I'm just playin'."

"You'd better not be."

"It's not like I can see you."

"Bye, David."

"See ya, Kurt."

"Now?"

"'M already in my truck."

"You'd better not be talking and driving."

"You're givin' me a lot of orders today, Bossy."

"What!"

"See ya, Kurtie."

"David!"

"…"

"…"