Chapter 7
I wandered into my kitchen and pulled out a massive salad bowl from the cupboard, grabbed a box of froot loops, poured them into the bowl and drowned them in milk, then plopped onto my couch and put my feet up. This was the way I seemed to spend every night lately. I flipped through the channels trying to find something decent to watch when I heard urgent pounding on my door.
"It's open!" I shouted, too lazy to get up. The door flew open and Danny stalked into the room.
"Mate!" he screamed. I looked up at him. "What?" I asked with a mouth full of cereal.
"What the fuck are you doing?" he asked.
"Eating," I told him as if it were obvious. He looked me up and down, I was only in gray sweatpants and a white undershirt. I had one sock on (don't as where the other one went. I honestly don't remember) and my hair was a mess. "What do you care, though?"
Danny stared at me for a minute, "You have a date tonight, fucker! Get up!"
"Danny, I never agreed to that," I sighed, "I don't think it's gonna work out."
"Doug! You always do this!" Danny threw his hands in the air, "Why? Why won't you go on just one date with one chick? Is that so much to ask? Do it for me, buddy. Do it for your best friend."
"Danny, it's not like I've never been on a date before," I sighed, "I just don't want to tonight is all."
"You haven't wanted to in months!" Danny shouted, "You aren't gay are you? Please don't tell me you're gay. Dude..."
"I'm not gay." I told him, "Danny you have seen my porn collection. I'm not gay."
Danny laughed, "Oh right, I forgot. So come on then, come out with me and my date. We're just going to dinner."
"No clubbing?" I asked, stunned, "You usually get your chicks drunk first."
"Funny," Danny hit me, as I picked up my cereal bowl and emptied it in my sink, "No dude, I think you're right. I'm being insensitive and I'm gonna start taking things more seriously."
I stared at him, wide eyed. "Seriously?"
"Yes, seriously." Danny sighed, "I've been a royal jerk to so many girls. It's not fair. So...I'm turning over a new leaf!"
"You won't last a week," I laughed, walking into my room to find something to wear.
"What makes you so sure?!" he asked defensively.
"Danny, just tell me in the past month, how many girls have you been with?" I asked him.
"Uh...how many days were in this month?" he asked, a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes, laughing, "See? You are a manwhore and you need counseling!"
"Okay okay, so you can help me!" Danny said, "Please."
I sighed, "Fine Danny."
"But this does not mean I wanna become like you and never go out." Danny told me. I smacked him on the back of his head and searched my closet. I decided, maybe if I'd go out I'd want to at least impress the girl.
"Wait...you're looking for clothes. Does this mean you're coming?" Danny asked hopefully.
"Yes, I'll come with you." I sighed. He smiled, proud of himself. "Good. Well, I'll be back over here in twenty minutes. Make yourself look pretty."
"Ha. Ha." I laughed dryly. I got myself dressed and tried to rid my mind of Jasey. Why did I feel guilty about this? It wasn't like I was cheating on
Jasey, because God knows if I was dating her I'd never ever chose someone over her. But I still felt as if I was being unfair to her. I knew it was stupid. I haven't seen her in nine years. But still...
"Ready, Doug?" Danny knocked on my door. I nodded and opened the door to see Danny actually wearing a tie. That never happened.
"Lookin' good," Danny smiled at me.
"You too, you actually look somewhat like a gentleman rather than a pimp." I fired at him with a smirk.
"Oh you're funny," he pulled me into a headlock while a few of our neighbors walked down the hall, eying us. Danny flicked them off while their backs were turned and we headed down to Danny's car to pick up our dates. My stomach turned at the thought.
"I'll get Claire first. Damn, this oughta be awkward," Danny laughed, pulling into the driveway of a fairly nice house. Claire came out so I didn't have to go knock on the door and she climbed into the back of Danny's car.
"Claire, Dougie. Dougie, Claire," Danny smiled into the rear view mirror.
"Hi Dougie, nice to meet you," she smiled.
"You too," I nodded shyly, and gave her a hug. Danny looked back at the two of us again, "Nice to see you again Claire."
"You too, You clean up nice, Jones." she said. But the most bizarre part was that she didn't seem awkward or mad. If that was me, I'd have been pissed.
"I try," he smiled and drove away. Next we drove to another apartment complex and Danny got out of the car to go get his date, "You guys wanna come in with me?" he asked us.
So even Danny Jones gets nervous going to his date's door. Claire and I nodded and got out with Danny. When he found the right door he knocked on it three times and waited patiently. Finally, a girl opened the door, "Hello?"
"Hi. Kyra," Danny smiled, and she shut the door behind her, "Bye Jase!" she shouted inside before the door was closed.
Jase...I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Well, at least Danny wasn't going out with a Jasey tonight. I wouldn't have been able to handle that.
The four of us made it to the restaurant and ordered, all four of us acting like immature teenagers, making fun of nearly every waiter that walked by.
"Okay okay, Dougie your turn. Go," Claire laughed. We had been playing this game all night where we'd point to a table and have to come up with something the people sitting there were talking or thinking about.
"Alright..." I thought for a minute as I stared at the two girls a few tables away from us. They were laughing while waiting for thier food to get there.
"The blonde one is from France. She's here on vacation with her boyfriend but she's secretly cheating on him with that redhead. The redhead isn't actually a lesbian, but she's letting the blonde one think she is so she can make her ex jealous." I said while Danny, Kyra and Claire were all doubled over in hysterics.
"I can't top that," Claire shook her head.
"No one can," I smiled. The funny thing was, I was actually having a good time tonight. Claire and I found out we really do have quite a bit in common, we both love animals and Blink 182. She wants to be a graphic designer and is studying for that now.
"Is anybody else gonna order dessert?" Danny asked looking around the table, "I don't wanna feel like a fatty."
"Dessert or not, face it bro, you're huge." I laughed. Kyra nodded and giggled, "He's right Danny. You should really think about cutting down on food in general"
"Right, right, I'll just stop eating." he laughed, "Very healthy."
The night went by too fast and before I knew it we were getting ready to leave.
"Dude, dude, check it out." Danny pointed to the two girls I was making up a story about and we all watched as the blonde kissed the redhead on the cheek. The four of us were crying by the time we were in the car.
We dropped Claire off first, and I actually did walk her to her door. "This was fun," she smiled.
"It was," I agreed, telling the truth. "We should hang out again soon. I'll call you."
"Sounds like a plan," she smiled. She really was maybe the second most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. And the most beautiful girl I could actually have considering I knew my luck was too shitty to actually get Jasey. I leaned down to Claire's height, closed my eyes, and kissed her. She smiled and kissed back, wrapping her arms around my neck.
Why did I feel so guilty?
Finally a pulled away and smiled, simply saying, "Call you later." And made my way back to Danny's car.
"Congratulations!" he smiled, "You actually got some lip action tonight."'
"Funny," I smiled, sitting alone it the back seat. Kyra hit him for me, "Danny Jones, you are awful."
He just shrugged, "What can I say?"
Finally we were back at Kyra's apartment and I went with Danny upstairs to make sure she got into her place safely. Bad idea on my part, I had to stand there pretending I didn't see them making out outside her door. Finally she opened the door and smiled, "Bye Danny. Bye Dougie it was nice meeting you!"
I would have said bye back, but I was too busy looking past Kyra and into her house to the two people on her couch making out. Looked like everyone was getting somewhere tonight.
Except, I wasn't exactly going where I wanted.
