Title: It's a Game of Give and Take
By: Mykindofparty
Summary: A professional motocross driver named Brittany Pierce arrives in Lima for a competition. She meets a beautiful doctor named Santana Lopez. What happens when Brittany, the girl who has everything, wants a seemingly uninterested Santana? AU.
Pairings: Brittany/Santana, Artie/Brittany FRIENDSHIP, Rachel/crushes, Pucktana failure, others TBD.
Rating: T for now
Disclaimer: If I owned Glee, I wouldn't be writing about it on here. Title taken from You Can't Hurry Love by Diana Ross and the Supremes.
A/N: Special thanks to Cavali for prompting me. Out of all of them, this was my favorite. Oh and Artie can walk. Sorry for the delay, I was out of town. I think that Puck steals the show in this chapter, although Rachel's a close second.


"Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything's okay and everything's going right."
Alanis Morissette, Ironic

Brittany paused before getting into Rachel's car. She'd barely spent any time with Artie since she arrived in Lima. She contemplated inviting him to dinner with her and Rachel, but figured he probably already made plans with Tina. She shrugged it off and listened as Rachel began belting show tunes.

"Please tell me they haven't left for dinner yet," Santana thought as she made her way down the road. Jealousy was a foreign emotion to her, but a persuasive one nonetheless. She tore past the fields and weaved through the city of Lima at breakneck speed.

Rachel stopped singing momentarily to point out that they passed Santana's car. Brittany grinned; there were only two places out this way. One was the arena where the motocross rally was being held and the other was the Allen County Juvenile Detention Center. And Brittany was fairly certain Santana wasn't planning on visiting the latter.

Santana cursed as she passed Rachel's obnoxious pink car. She slammed on the brakes and hastily made a U-turn. She didn't have a plan so she decided to follow them.

"She's following us," Brittany commented. This was a good sign of things to come. Curiosity was getting the better of Santana and it was only a matter of time before Brittany wore her down. Brittany had no idea where Rachel was taking her, but she hoped it was secluded, dimly lit, and romantic. The next phase in her plan to make Santana jealous was to pretend to seduce an oblivious Rachel.

Santana gasped when Rachel pulled into the Breadstix parking lot. This was Lima's hottest date destination and the only place with unlimited breadsticks in town. Not wanting to seem too desperate, Santana circled the block several times until she made sure that they had gone inside. She thought hard. Clearly she was only jealous of Rachel because she was spending time with Brittany, not that there was any attraction between Rachel and Brittany. Then it hit her: two could play at this game and Santana Lopez was an excellent learner. Now all she needed was a dinner companion…

That's when she saw him, casually leaning against a building with a cigarette in one hand and a cell phone in the other. He was perfect for the job. She slinked her way towards him, her determined eyes focused on that great big ugly mohawk. Brittany wouldn't know what hit her. The tables were turning and Santana was certain by the end of the night, Brittany would be the jealous one.

"Noah, what are you doing out here all by yourself? Did you get stood up?" Santana coyly asked as she fluttered her eyelashes. It wouldn't take much for Noah Puckerman to seize the bait. She could feel a smile forming on her lips the second he took in her appearance. Granted she was still in her work clothes, but she knew he wasn't picky.

"Why of course not," he smirked, "And baby, you can call me Puck. I was just waiting for the right girl to come along and here you were. It was only a matter of time before you fell for my charms, doctor."

Inwardly, Santana resisted the urge to throw up, but instead she twirled a lock of her hair around her finger, "And to think I turned you down all those other instances. Who knew that treating you for gonorrhea would've sparked such emotion that was previously buried deep, deep inside of me?"

Puck leered at her with a sleazy grin and replied, "I got something else I can bury deep inside of you."

"Easy, tiger. If you do me the favor of escorting me to dinner, the next time you come into my hospital with some sort of disease on your penis, I won't recommend amputation."

Puck nodded. "Lead the way."

Rachel tapped away furiously on her phone. "Jesse texted me on the way over here. He said that he missed me already and that even though I lacked the emotional depth that most motocross fans possess, he's going to let me kiss his Care Bear for good luck before the race. He needs it! He's currently in third place; a total travesty. When I asked him if he ever got nervous, he said being nervous is for virgins. That's how I know I have to sleep with him... because I'm nervous about it."

Long, pale fingers tapped away on the wooden bench. Brittany sighed as they waited for someone to serve them. "Rachel, do you ever hear yourself when you talk? Over the course of this afternoon you listed at least a dozen reasons why no person in their right mind should ever have sex with him, but you talk about these things like they're compliments. He's insulting you in a sneaky way so that you don't even realize he's doing it."

"Jesse said you'd say that," Rachel snapped, "But he's busy right now challenging Artie to either a race or a duel or a sing off. I can't remember which. The point is that he can't defend himself right now so I have to do it for him."

"This is crazy. Why don't we talk about something other than Jesse?" Brittany suggested.

Rachel stared at her. "What else is there to talk about?"

"I'm tired of hearing about him. He's so stuck up." This dinner was giving Brittany a headache and they had only ordered their drinks.

"That's my favorite quality of his. He's driven. He's motivated. So what if he likes Lionel Richie and only wears designer boots? He said I could kiss his lucky bear, I tell you!"

Brittany's face flushed with embarrassment. She was just glad Santana had apparently decided not to follow them inside. Rachel was making a huge scene. "Why don't you tell me about your family instead?"

Santana waited about fifteen minutes before stepping foot into the restaurant. She had to be sure that Brittany and Rachel were already seated. Puck trailed her like a lost puppy dog. His infatuation with her was almost as pathetic as Rachel's obsession with Jesse. Her train of thought was soon interrupted when she saw the hostess. Suzy Pepper. That conniving bitch.

Santana continued toward Suzy with her head held high. "Table for two, please."

Suzy looked up. "Santana? Santana Lopez? McKinley High class of 2012?"

"Oh goodness, is that you, Suzy Pepper? I haven't seen you since you kicked me out of the Celibacy Club. Or was it when you were elected Prom Queen? Or perhaps when you called me a wetback cum-guzzling loser bitch when you thought I was trying to seduce Finn?"

Suzy smirked. "I think you're referring to graduation where you mentioned in your valedictorian speech that you were never coming back to Lima and I started a slow clap and the rest of the student body followed my lead."

Santana glared at the hostess. "Here's a rumor you can spread. I'm a doctor. You're a waitress. I save lives. You fold napkins. I perform surgeries. You bus tables. So you tell me, who's the loser now?"

Defeated, Suzy grabbed a couple menus. "Let me show you to your booth."

Brittany glanced around. Rachel had brought up Jesse's name six times in fifteen minutes. Maybe this wasn't her best plan after all. Oh well. At least she could always ask Artie for his advice. That's when she saw Santana and a strange looking fellow walk in. At first she wasn't sure why she felt a little pang of white-hot jealousy in the pit of her stomach, but then she realized Santana wanted her to feel this way.

"Brittany? Hello? I asked you a question." Rachel waved her hand in front of Brittany's face. When Brittany didn't stop staring, Rachel turned around to see Santana and Puck take their seats at a nearby booth.

"She doesn't like him, you know," Rachel commented.

Puck slammed his fork down halfway through their meal. "Babe, I've been digging you for a while now. Almost two months, ever since you told me in that bossy tone of yours that I couldn't cure everything with penicillin. So imagine my surprise when you show up in the parking lot where I loiter and ask me to dinner out of the blue. Now here we are, in this cozy little booth, drinking wine, the place is almost empty, and you keep trying not to look over at those two ladies who are also trying not to look over here. I'm going to trust my instincts and say something weird's going on."

Santana averted her eyes. This was a horrible date. She hadn't talked to Puck. She hadn't even tried. When he reached for her hand, she yanked it away. He kept coming onto her. But it wasn't his fault. It was hers. "Listen, there's a reason why I keep turning you down, Puck. Well, besides your nasty junk. The truth is I like someone else, that blonde woman over there with Rachel."

"Bummer," Puck replied, "So are they dating? Is that why you can't be with her?"

"Wait… So you don't care that I like girls?" Santana asked, hoping for clarification.

Puck gave her a sincere smile. "It's a shame I won't ever get into your pants, but I was always taught that love doesn't have limitations. There's nothing it can't do. If you're meant to be with this girl, not even a hot Jewish American Princess with a donk like that can stop you."

"Thanks Puck. But it's not Rachel I'm worried about. It's Brittany. I don't have any experience with girls. And she's leaving in a few days for God knows where as a part of that motocross tour."

"I hooked up with a motocross chick once," Puck reminisced, "I revved her engine if you know what I mean."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Fascinating."

Puck laid his hand on her arm. "Hey, it's like I was saying before. It all comes full circle. Just because she's leaving doesn't mean she won't come back. You're pretty impossible to forget. Your tits are enormous."

"He touched her arm! What does that mean?" Brittany panicked.

Rachel took a break from eating and texting Jesse to glance across the room. "It means he wants an excuse to touch her so he's wiping what he pretends is a crumb off her elbow, when it's really a freckle. And he knows it. Haven't you ever studied body language? Or had a gay boyfriend?"

"Did your gay boyfriend ever wipe crumbs off of you?" Brittany asked.

"Not me, no," Rachel replied, "But Blaine enjoyed brushing them off all my male friends' pants. Oh, that explains a lot now."

Brittany giggled. When Rachel wasn't talking about Jesse, she was actually pretty funny. "Well, I think it's time we get going. I haven't seen… hold on Rachel, someone's calling me."

"And let me tell you, this girl was into some freaky stuff, but that was the best Hot Pocket I ever ate," Puck whispered as he devoured the last of his lasagna.

Santana pushed her plate away in disgust. "That is the most repulsive thing I've ever heard, Puck. Wait! They're leaving. Quick, pay for dinner!"

"Did I just hear you right?" Puck asked, "You're the one who invited me. And I'm glad you came out to me and all that shit, but I am numero uno. I'm speaking your language so nothing gets lost in translation. Puck-o no pay-o por dinero."

"I don't have time to correct all the offensive and erroneous things you just said. They're walking out the door. Brittany's on the phone and I have to talk to her before they leave."

Puck huffed. "Fine. Let's dine and dash on this Pepper bitch."

"Quinn?" Brittany answered when she finally picked up the phone outside. "Why are you calling me? After all this time?"

Brittany heard some shuffling and a faint siren in the background. "I'll explain everything later," Quinn promised, "First you have to come to the hospital. Artie and Jesse had a collision."