"Boy, you'd think a girl could catch a break after a long day of education," Frankie scowled as she sat in the bathtub. "I mean, look at me. I'm not dirty! I'm hardly ever dirty! I could probably go the rest of my life without taking a bath!"
'Well, humans smell pretty interesting when they don't take baths," said her tiger friend Hobbes, sitting at the side of the tub. "Trust me."
Frankie didn't appear to hear this remark. "And why do I need to take a bath after school? After school is play outside time, not chore time!"
"Didn't you listen to your parents this morning?" Hobbes said. Frankie was so much like Calvin, she might well be one of his childhood duplicates in disguise. She hated baths, she didn't always like to listen, and she complained about tyrannical parents and adults all the time. And now Hobbes felt like there was another one to add to the list: a hatred of babysitters.
"I know, I know, the babysitter is coming over tonight," Frankie whined. "But my parents are going out on a date, not me! Why do I have to look nice for the babysitter?"
"Well, it's always good to look nice for girls. Then you get smooches!" Hobbes smiled.
"Ew, gross! You WANT kisses from the babysitter?"
Hobbes' smile slowly faded as he realized what he was implying. "Well…." Frankie's brow furrowed. "No, of course not."
"Let's put this bath to good use and start brainstorming," said Frankie.
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"This emergency meeting of P.A.L.S., or People Against Losers and Scumbags, will now come to order," Frankie announced from her bedroom. Beside her, First Tiger and Chief Officer of Weapons and Supplies, took notes in an official club notebook. The club was started when Steve, the most annoying boy in class, spent the afternoon taunting Frankie and she needed an escape. However, since babysitters were clearly Losers and probably Scumbags, they both felt like an emergency meeting was in order.
"Right," said Hobbes. "Now the Chief Officer feels like it is of utmost importance to go over our supply of materials. President Frankie will now read off the list of possibilities devised at bathtime."
Frankie cleared her throat. "Darts?"
Hobbes checked his notebook. "All darts removed from the premises by order of Frankie's father, a.k.a. Calvin, since September 10."
She frowned, then continued. "Water balloons?"
"No urgent demand to resupply due to upcoming weather conditions."
Frankie shrugged. "I got nothing. Well, at least we have our brains."
"That's true. Brains were responsible for the world's weapons in the first place."
"Frankie! Come meet the babysitter!" called Susie.
Frankie sighed. "Come on, Hobbes. Let's go meet our doom."
But Hobbes had a sneaky smile spread across his face. "I have a better idea."
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"...and the list of emergency numbers is on the fridge," finished up Susie. "Any questions or concerns, just call us. I know that little kids can be a lot to handle!"
Amy laughed. "Don't worry, I think I can handle it."
Susie couldn't hold back a snicker. "You obviously haven't seen my husband when he was a child. Anyway, we're on our way, we should be back by 9 or so-'"
"HA HA HA! DIE, BABYSITTER, DIE!"
Amy looked up in horror to see a bucket of blue water come down straight on top of her head, soaking her from head to toe. Susie was furious.
"Oh, Amy….just give me a second, I must speak to Frankie about this behavior...Dear, will you get Amy some towels please?….oh, I'm terribly sorry about this…"
But little did they know that Amy thought differently.
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"Nice going, Hobbes," said Frankie, confined to the time-out chair in the living room.
"Well, melting witches works in the movies. Sue me."
Frankie raised an eyebrow. "And the food coloring?
"Well, maybe that will teach you not to keep weird hoards of stuff in your room so nobody else will get ideas."
Frankie froze up as Amy entered the room. "Okay, listen up," she told Frankie. "I only punished you because I didn't want to give your mom the wrong idea. You know, that's a pretty cool prank you pulled there. I used to do the same thing to my babysitters."
Frankie just stared. "You...did?"
Amy laughed. "Of course. You know, I was thinking. Maybe we could come up with a prank to pull on your parents while they're gone. Something simple. Why not leave a surprise for your parents to find when they come home? That will teach them to leave you alone when they're out having fun."
Frankie grinned. "You're the best babysitter ever. Let's do it."
Could it be that good babysitters actually existed? What a waste of time their meeting was! Together they set to work digging up dirt and scattering it amongst drawers and nooks and crannies. Susie would have some cleaning to do tomorrow. Frankie dug it up while Hobbes put it away in secret places.
"Now you tell your parents you have no idea where this came from," Amy instructed. "I told them that we were going to work on homework tonight, and that you were with me the entire time." Frankie nodded. She didn't see Amy put a sticky note into one of the drawers as she worked diligently on everything. After all, she had to prove to her parents that she had been busy. Not one addition problem would be incorrect, even if she had to spend hours on them.
Before Frankie knew it, her parents were home. "Hi, Amy, how was...Frankie, did you do this?" Calvin asked, his hand full of worms from the garden that seemed to come from the kitchen sink. Meanwhile, Susie was already noticing a rather dirty sticky note coming from the desk drawer that wasn't there when they left. She picked it up.
Ha ha ha! This is what you get for leaving me with a babysitter! -Love, Frankie
Frankie slapped her hand to her forehead. How could she not have known that a prank would get her in trouble? She'd been tricked.
"Come on, you. Up to bed," Susie instructed as Frankie trudged upstairs. The words, dumb babysitter! could vaguely be heard if Susie had chosen to pay attention.
"Well, I guess it's a sad day for P.A.L.S.," she told Hobbes as she got into bed. "And I was secretly forced to do homework!"
Hobbes just laughed. "Haven't I told you about all the trouble that Calvin got into with G.R.O.S.S.? You're not even close to that. I think that P.A.L.S. will have to make a lot more trouble before we can reach his level!"
Frankie smiled. Someday, they'd find a way to terrorize their babysitter and get away with it. The club was counting on her. And because this particular babysitter was actually a kid-hating menace, they would be fully justified.
Meanwhile, Amy couldn't help laughing to herself as Calvin drove her home. She hated kids. As long as she could have a bit of fun along the way, why not put up with some trouble for college money? And with luck, she'd never have to babysit Frankie again.
Surprise, another chapter! I'm sorry if the pranks were really stupid; I lacked inspiration and really wanted to put this chapter up.
