Chapter 6: Naughty List

.o.o.o.

"Darn it!" Jack swore.

"What? What's wrong?" Bunny asked. Jack had gone to wash some of his clothes in the now dye-free river. Bunny had been experimenting with some texturing techniques and a few of the eggs had jumped on Jack before they were dry.

Jack held up his little cape with a sigh.

"Oh," Bunny said.

The cape was—there was no other word for it—dead. The little patch jobs and stitch ups Jack had done over the years, re-hemming it a decade ago with one of Bunny's leather-stitching needles, scrubbing it whenever the paint got everywhere, all of it was just not working anymore.

"Well, you've still got a shirt, don't you?" Bunny said.

"Yeah, a white shirt. That will start coming apart without something over it," Jack sighed. "I'm shocked the pants are still intact, really…"

"Thank the moon for that," Bunny said dryly. "Well, you can get yourself a new one, right?"

"It's not the eighteenth century anymore, Kangaroo. I'll probably be stuck with a jacket or…maybe one of those hooded things, whatever's in a donation bin," Jack sighed. "…I liked that cloak."

"Well, you won't need one until winter, at any rate," Bunny said. "Maybe Santa might give you something this year."

.o.o.o.

"What do you mean he's still on the naughty list?" Bunny groaned.

"He is reckless, relentlessly pranks other spirits-" North began.

"Yeah, most of those are on me, and I give as good as I get. As for the Groundhog this year…well, I might have authorized that a bit," Bunny said.

"It may just be that he was on naughty list when he was human and it cannot change now that he is not," North said. "Also, one of his snowstorms last year broke several roofs in Russia and the Baltic Nations."

"How do you know it was one of his? He's not the sole force of snow in the world," Bunny grumbled. "Look, I'm not even asking for something seriously…new or anything, just a fix if you can. " He held up the broken cloak.

"Bunny, there is not enough sewing skill in the world," North said.

"Yeah, well, Guardian of Hope can hope, can't he?" Bunny sighed. "So…you're sure he's on the naughty list?"

.o.o.o.

"I'm on the naughty list?" Jack asked.

"You apparently hold the record," Bunny said. "Any confessions you'd like to make to old Bunny?"

"Hmm," Jack said. "It's my dream to freeze all the great lakes at once—you know, in one night, one go—I'm the reason it was so cold for pretty much all of the Siege of Stalingrad—went overboard there, really, I know, but it was interesting to watch—I ice the back stairs of the White House, Kremlin, and Parliament ever three years or so, I draw in the ice on windows to see if anyone thinks it's a ghost, I'm trying to teach penguins how to sled-"

"I meant anything serious," Bunny said. "Okay, maybe almost breaking human government officials' necks is it but I think that lot watch where the step."

"Huh…" Jack said. "Serious….serious…Blizzard of 68?"

"Yeah, but since?" Bunny asked.

"…I don't know, people injuring themselves on ice reflects badly on me, like you said?" Jack asked. "What I did to the Groundhog? That thing with the glitter?"

"We will never again mention the thing with the glitter," Bunny said. "Great. North's other theory must be right, and it's bloody stupid."

"What's Santa's theory?" Jack asked.

"You were on the naughty list when you were human, and are stuck there now that you're not," Bunny said, thinking of some alternate way to get a piece of clothing made.

Clothing.

Of course.

"Now, I should mention that the naughty list doesn't preclude gifts from pals," Bunny said quickly.

"Bunny, you don't have to give me chocolate because you feel sorry for me…even if I'll totally eat it," Jack admitted.

"Nah, nothing that easy." Nothing that easy at all.

.o.o.o.

"Not for me, you little devils!" Bunny said. "Look, we have a deal. Make a cape, like this only sturdy and wintery, and you get chocolate. Got it?"

The elves nodded. Clothing they could do. They'd tried making jackets for Bunny and Sandy and dresses for Tooth for years.

"Right. I'll be back three days to Christmas," Bunny said. "You do the work, you get the chocolate."

The elves grinned enthusiastically.

.o.o.o.

"All right, Phil, I need a word," Bunny said. "Not one for bows and tape, myself. So…wrap this for me, and I'll paint your next hundred whatever you're painting."

Phil took the box immediately while Bunny grabbed a brush.

.o.o.o.

"Bit of a warm winter, Frostbite."

"Don't worry, I'm just holding out for new year's," Jack said. "Don't want to make Santa put me on the mega-naughty list."

"That's all hogwash anyway. Something's wrong with his system if you've never made nice," Bunny said. "So, Merry Christmas."

"Ooh, the Easter Bunny said it. Now I have to go find Satan and freeze his domain…"

"Shut up and take the bloody box."

"Huh?" Jack asked. "Bunny…I didn't get you anything."

"I know. Freeze the groundhog's hide for me and I'll take that," Bunny said. "Or stop freezing bits of the Warren. Whichever."

"I…I don't know what to…"

"Open. The. Box," Bunny said.

Jack quickly opened it. "Whoa."

Bunny smirked. The elves did good work when motivated by sufficient amounts of sweets. Jack's new cape was dark blue with silver snowflakes stitched on and a hood. "Now you don't have to go rooting through donation bins anymore."

"This…it's too nice, I can't wear it!" Jack said.

"Put the cape on before I strangle you with it," Bunny offered.

"Putting it on," Jack said. "Seriously, Bunny…this…thanks. I'll get you something next year."

"Now let's not get all Christmassy here, Frost."

"Easter's next year too, dummy."

"Oh look, here's something I can do with this hood!" Bunny said, yanking it over Jack's face.

"Arg! Hey, no fair!"

"You know what Frost, you might just get me on the naughty list at this rate…."

"You aren't already?"

Bunny's eyes narrowed.

"Kidding!" Jack said quickly. "So kidding!"

Bunny shook his head. "So…you're sure you don't know how you're on the naughty list?"

"Not a clue. Then again, I don't remember anything before being Jack Frost so, ah, maybe I did something?"

"Something that keep you on the blooming list after over two hundred years?"

"Hey, do you know if spirits can change what list they're on?"

"Hey, I don't celebrate Christmas, Frostbite," Bunny said.

"Yeah, but do you know?"

"Shut up and go spread your wintery stuff."

.o.o.o.

A/N: hi, not dead, I was just...hibernating.