Cat lay in bed, unable to sleep. On the other side of the room, Sam snored loudly. Where could Jade possibly be? Jade's dad had said he would call the police if she didn't come back the next day... They would find her, wouldn't they?

Suddenly a crash came from outside the window, and Cat fell off the bed with a loud thud. She crawled to her feet, wondering if she should wake Sam, but finally she decided to move toward the window to investigate herself. She opened the window, peering into the darkness outside, and found herself face-to-face with... Jade.

"Sup, babygirl?" she slurred.

"Jade!" Cat breathed a sigh of relief. "Ohmygod, come inside, we gotta call your dad and... Wait, are you drunk?"

"What do you think?" Jade snapped as she attempted to crawl through the window and fell instead.

"Um, I'll open the front door and you can come in that way! Want me to wake Sam up?"

"Why would you want to wake Sam up? Ok, wait, I'm coming around to the front."

Cat hurried to unlock the door and Jade staggered in before settling on Cat's couch. "Okay well Sam always knows what to do so I thought she could..."

Jade growled. "I always know what to do, kitty cat. Not Sam, me! Now call my dad and tell him I'm at your place, and that I'm not coming back tomorrow. I just need a glass of water, then I'll head back out."

"But Jade..."

"Now, Cat."

"No!"

"Excuse me?"

"Look Jade, you're not in the place to be making decisions right now. You're so drunk you can barely walk. Oh my god..." Cat started, realizing. "Did you drive here?"

Jade rolled her eyes. "Please, don't give me a lecture on drinking and driving."

Cat was nearly sobbing now. "Jade, you could have died! Or killed someone!"

"But I'm here, right? Everything's fine. Calm the fuck down."

Cat pursed her lips. "Go to sleep, Jade. I'm calling your dad, and we can talk in the morning."

Jade could only stare blankly at Cat's trembling but stern face before she passed out on the couch.


When Jade opened her eyes, cruel sunlight streamed through the windows and her head was throbbing so hard she felt like it might split open.

"And Sleeping Beauty awakes," Sam commented drily. She had pushed Jade's legs over to make room for herself on the couch, and was now watching television as she chomped through a plate full of bacon, eggs, ham, and sausage. The smell made Jade want to vomit. Which she did. Straight into the bucket that Cat had placed next to her for just that purpose. She almost shook her head-Cat could be so efficient when it came to taking care of her friends that it was hard to believe she was the same ditzy, excitable girl.

And now, the redhead walked over with a cup of coffee. "Sam," she began, hesitating. "Could I talk to Jade in private, please?"

Sam glared at Jade before turning the television off and stalking away, plate in hand. Cat took her place on the couch. "Can you tell me why you decided to get stupidly drunk last night?"

"Can you not talk? My head feels like it's being run through with knives."

"Ew, you're so gross."

Jade paused. "Do you like Robbie?"

"What?" Cat laughed incredulously.

"Do you have a crush on Robbie?"

"No! Jade, stop trying to change the topic!"

"Never mind. Look, you want to know why I got so drunk last night? I wanted to have some fun. And shit, with people like you and Tori around, that's not exactly the order of the day."

"Jade," Cat protested, hurt.

"Anyway, it's not like I have friends who really want to be around me. I know I'm not that likable but I don't care. I just want to-"

"Jade, I love being around you," Cat said seriously.

"Really? You seemed perfectly happy ditching me for Sam yesterday."

"I... Didn't realize... Jade, you said you didn't want me to help you with your homework!"

"Of course I said that! The same way I tell you that I don't like your hair, or that you can't sing, or that you're stupid, or that I don't l-Cat, I never mean those things."

"Really?" Cat smiled shyly.

"Really." Jade smiled back.

Sam coughed. "Um, Cat, don't you have to go to school?"

"Oh yeah!" Cat replied perkily. "Bye Jade! Get some sleep and talk to your dad, okay? He told me about the whole festival thing, and I couldn't convince him to let you go... I'll see you later, alright?"

"And what?" Sam asked, affronted. "Am I babysitting her now?"

"Of course not, silly! Jade's not paying you!" Cat skipped out the door.

Sam turned to glare at Jade, who was now occupying the entire couch again. "You're paying me."


Beck Oliver sat at his usual lunch table, sipping the milk from a coconut. It was his third that day.

"Please tell me Cat dressed you today," Andre groaned.

Beck followed his gaze down: he was wearing his mother's zebra print scarf, an oversized leather jacket that had once been his father's, an old Mickey Mouse tee, and his most tattered pair of jeans. His feet were bare. "Why," he challenged. "Do you think only Cat can be an interesting dresser?"

"Beck, let it go. You're not boring," Tori insisted.

"Exactly," Beck responded proudly.

Tori buried her face in her hands. "I can't watch this. I can't watch this happen."

Cat bounced over to their table, papers in hand. "I'm so obsessed with Maya Big," she announced as she sat down.

"Is she hot?" Rex asked.

"It's a personality test, dummy. Get it?" Cat giggled. "Cause you're a dummy?"

"I think she means Myers Briggs," Tori piped up.

Cat narrowed her eyes. "I meant what I said! Anyway, my psychologist gave me the test and I know all of our personality types now! I'm an ENFP, the Inspirer. Tori, you're an ENFJ, the Giver. Beck, you're an ISFJ, the Nurturer. Andre, you're an ESFJ, the Caregiver. Trina, you're an ESFP, the Performer. And Robbie, you're an ISFP, the Artist!"

The group stared at her for a long moment.

"Huh?" asked Andre finally.

"Told you I was born to be a performer," smirked Trina.

Beck leaned forward. "And ISFJ's, Nurturers... are interesting, right?"

"Of course!" Cat fumbled through the papers. "George Washington was an ISFJ!" she added to reassure him.

Beck looked morosely at his coconut. "I'm doomed."


Tori nursed her cup of green tea, avoiding her mother's eyes. She took a deep breath... She needed to do this. "Mom?" She asked, inwardly cursing her shaky voice.

"Yeah, honey?"

"Um." Tori hesitated. How was she supposed to do this? "How was your... date with Gary... the other night?"

"Date?" Holly Vega forced a laugh. "We just went bowling... Sorry I'm just your boring old mom here!"

"Are you?" Tori asked quietly.

Holly looked at her curiously. "Oh, honey. I was kidding!"

"No, mom... I meant..." Are you having an affair with Gary? Why do you always delete his texts? Why do you go out so late at night, when dad's away? She couldn't form the words. "I'm going to finish my homework now."

Her mother had been so convincing. She didn't want to believe she was that good a liar... not to her own daughter.


"DICE!"

"Wow, you seem excited to see m-"

"CATCH!" With that warning, Sam launched a pie straight at his face, and Dice dove at the very last second.

"What," he asked slowly, "are you doing?"

"Momma just got an Italian pie launcher. Carly had it sent to me from Italy!"

"Why would you need a pie launcher?"

Sam gave him a look. "To launch pies? Duh."

Dice shook his head, deciding to sit on the couch, when he realized there was someone sitting next to him.

He turned to face an attractive yet scary goth girl, who was currently smiling at him with the creepiest expression he'd ever seen. "You know, someone could make a lot of money selling that hair."

Dice clutched his hair possessively as the girl laughed.

"Don't you think you should be getting home, Jade?" Sam called.

"Why? It's not like my parents will be there anyway. Besides," and here something sly crept into her voice as she approached Sam, "I'd so much rather be here with you."

If Sam was affected, she didn't show it. "You mean you'd so much rather be here with Cat."

The smirk dropped from Jade's face. "And what's that supposed to mean?" She flushed slightly, realizing she'd just used Cat's catchphrase.

"You tell me," Sam replied evenly.

"You're not going to threaten me into going home, you know."

Dice looked between the two of them, confused. What were they even talking about?

And just at that moment, Cat entered. "Honey, I'm home!" she called.

Sam grinned as Jade scowled. "Hey Cat, wanna see my pie launcher?"

"Only if it's Italian!"

Cat's face immediately met with a pie. "Mm, is that lemon in the cream?"


Much love and many apologies to my reviewers: LostSoulSaveMe, CAMxx, Jakarie, u r awesome, Hiway202, binxfanfic4, PrincessOfLeFandoms, Hannah1796, Gabriela River, SaphireFlameZ, danialoveariana, AprilBaby95, redvelvetjade, and evabean16.

I know this story hasn't been updated in nearly a year, but it's been a really crazy, busy year for me, and I'm posting two chapters today to make it up. I don't know how many readers I'll still have as Sam and Cat has been cancelled now, but I hope everyone who reads this story enjoys it. Please let me know if there's anything in particular you'd like to see in upcoming chapters. And stay Victorious, everyone.