No, a year hasn't passed by quickly…I really have updated twice in one week. I think this is the quickest I've been able to write a West Wing chapter in years so I hope it's okay! I'm so glad that there are still people reading! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! Please keep them coming!
Enjoy!
I'm Not Fine
"Congressman, can I speak with you in private?"
Matt turned at the sound of his campaign manager's voice to see him stood in the doorway of the conference room where he had been going over what had happened at the meet and greet they had just done.
"Of course." He stood up then looked towards Lou, Otto and Bram. "Excuse for a moment."
"Do you need me?" Lou looked between Josh and Matt.
"No, we won't be a minute." Josh answered, holding the door open for the Congressman.
Once they were in the corridor, Matt leaned against the wall, putting his hands in his pocket and waited for Josh to speak.
"I'm sorry about running out on you this morning." Josh started. "It was a last minute change of plan…"
"That's okay, the event went fine." Matt replied. "So, what happened at the appointment? Is Leo okay?"
Josh sighed. "Leo didn't have a doctor's appointment."
"What?" Matt frowned and pushed himself away from the wall. "What is going on?"
"Sir, I cannot apologize enough for not being truthful with you." Josh replied. "But I'd rather not tell you where we were."
"Excuse me?" Santos stared at him in disbelief.
"I know you're probably going to think this is hypercritically coming from me but I'd rather keep that private."
"Private?" Matt repeated.
"It's a personal matter, Sir and I don't believe it has anything to do with the campaign." Josh stated. "I understand that I'm asking a lot for you to trust me on this but I'm also hoping that my coming to now instead of letting you continue believe Leo had a doctor's appointment will go in my favor."
"You want me to be grateful that you came and told me that you lied to my face and for me to show my gratitude by letting the issue go?"
"Sir…"
"The way I see it is that if it wasn't a big deal then you wouldn't have lied in the first place so that means if it is big deal and that also means it will affect the campaign."
"I promise you, Sir…"
"Can you not give me a small clue what's going on?" Matt asked in frustration. "I mean, I may have been able to let it slide but you took Leo with you, where ever it was you went…You took my Vice President candidate with you."
Josh rubbed his eyes with both his hands and fell back against the wall. "Yeah…I'm sorry… I know it sounds crazy and if it was someone coming to me with this I would tell them to forget it."
"Was it a political meeting?"
"No, Sir."
"I don't like this, Josh…." Matt turned and began to pace in the small space. "I don't like that there is a problem you're keeping from me."
"I don't see it as a problem, Sir…just something I have to accept and to do that I needed to do what I did." Josh answered cryptically.
"And Leo just had to go with you?"
"No but he wouldn't let me go alone." Josh stated.
Matt stopped pacing and narrowed his a little at the other man, still trying to figure out what was going on. "Josh, are you protecting him?"
"Who? Leo? No." He shook his head. "This is me…My personal life…Just something I need to work through myself."
"Personal life?" Matt repeated with a slight smile on his face. "I didn't think you knew what those words meant."
"It's something I've try to avoid in the past but it keeps coming back." Josh couldn't help but return the smile.
Matt let out a big sigh. "What if I told you, you either have to tell me the truth or I don't want you to be my campaign manager anymore?"
"Then I'd shake hand your hand and tell you it's been an honor working for you." Josh stood up a little straight and looked him right in the eye. "I would respect your decision, Congressman and I would advise you hire Leo to take over the running of things."
"You'd rather walk away then tell me?"
"Like I said, Congressman…It's personal…"
Matt leaned back against the wall again and shook his head. "Josh, just promise me that this isn't going to come back and bite me in the ass."
"I'm going to make you President, Congressman….I will not let you down." He pledged. "I wouldn't do anything to harm you campaign."
Matt continued to watch him; his head told him that there was something serious happening but his gut was telling him to trust Josh.
"Okay." He pushed himself away from the wall again. "Well, I guess we should get back…We have an election to win."
"Yes, Sir." Josh let out a sigh of relief and moved back to the door of the conference room.
"Josh?" Matt called out before he could open the door.
"Yes, Sir?" He turned to look at him, his hand on the door handle
"After everything we've been through, I hope you consider me as a friend as well as a candidate…" Matt said. "And I'm a good listener…If you ever need to talk to someone."
Josh swallowed a lump that had begun to rise in his throat. "Thanks….Matt."
Matt's lips curled into a slight smile at his first name being used, appreciating the underlying message. "Right, let's go…"
"Yes, Sir…" Josh opened the door, allowing Matt to reenter the conference first before following him.
XxXxX
Josh wasn't surprised when he slid his keycard into the lock it failed to open; he could never do it right on the first time but what did surprise him was his hotel door flew open.
"Well?"
He looked up and saw Donna stood in the doorway and his eyebrows rose. "You were waiting for me?"
"When I called you earlier you said you couldn't talk right then and we would talk later…" She pulled him into the room and closed the door. "It's later."
He placed his keycard, cell phone and wallet on the dresser before removing his jacket. "Didn't you talk to Leo?"
She folded her arm. "How did you know that?"
"Because I know you and I know you wouldn't wait until now…"
"Josh…"
"What did Leo tell you?" He was curious to how his mentor was reacting to what the doctor had said since it's had a few hours to sink in.
"He said that there were treatment and medications that you could try…"
"To help with the pain." Josh added, hoping Leo hadn't misled her and she got her hopes up.
"Yeah, he said that but Josh, you never know it might work…"
"It won't, Donna." He shook his head.
"It might not get rid of all the cancer but it could get rid of some and then who knows?" She tried to reason. "They might find something new to try…"
"They're not going to find a cure for cancer in the next couple of weeks."
Donna's eyes widened and started to burn with tears. "Weeks?"
Josh sighed and rubbed his tired eyes; he hadn't meant to be so callous about it. "Donna…"
"He said you had weeks?" She whispered.
He reached out and took hold of her arm gently, guiding her to sit down on the end of the bed before sitting next to her. "He couldn't give me a time...It could be longer…"
"Or shorter?"
"Donna, I wish I knew…" He said softly, brushing away a tear that had begun to slide down her cheek. "I wish I knew how to make this easier for you…"
"Then don't die." She begged, more tears appearing. "Please?"
Josh had to blink away his own tears and felt that familiar knot in his throat. He wrapped both his hands around her left one gently then brought it to his lips. "I can't make you a promise I know I can't keep…"
"Josh…" Was all she managed to get out before collapsing into his arms.
He held her tightly as she sobbed, rocking backwards and forwards slowly and occasionally placing small kisses in her hair but he couldn't get his voice to work.
XxXxX
"I'm not interrupting, am I?"
Matt looked up from his dinner to see Leo stood by the side of the table in the hotel's restaurant. "No, of course not…Please, join me."
Leo smiled and took the seat the congressman had gestured to. "Thanks…"
"Have you eaten?" Matt was already signaling over a waitress. "They do a wonderful steak here…"
"Oh, I had something earlier." Leo declined, looking up at the waitress when she reached them. "I'll just take a coffee, thanks…Better make it decaf."
"Trouble sleeping?" Matt inquired once they were alone again.
"No more than usual but the doctor's made me switch after the heart attack." Leo informed him. "I don't know why I keep drinking it… I don't even like it."
"It habit." Matt claimed.
"I suppose that could be why…" Leo nodded a little.
"Have you tried herbal tea? Helen swears by that stuff…"
"Yes, I have tried it and I actually prefer the fake coffee." Leo replied causing Matt to smile. "Listen, I came to apologize to you."
"Oh?"
"Josh told me, he came clean about this morning."
"Well, not completely clean…He didn't tell me where the two of you went."
"Josh feels strongly about keeping it private." Leo answered. "He can be pretty stubborn when he wants to be."
"I've noticed."
"I remember when he was a little boy….when there was something he didn't want to do or something he wasn't allowed to do, he would sulk and there were times when his parents used to sit him in the corner until he understood that he couldn't always have it his own way and was ready to apologize….Trouble was, it backfired on them because he would sit in the corner with his arms folded and continue to sulk." Leo reminisced and then laughed a little. "One evening Marie had gone out with some friends and I had gone over to talk to Noah about work stuff…I can't remember exactly what Josh had said or done but Noah put him the corner then we sat down to talk… Marie came home at midnight to find Josh fast sleep where Norah had put him with his still folded….We had completely forgot about him because he refused to back down and come apologize."
"I struggle to imagine that being my campaign manager." Matt smiled. "And not that I wouldn't appreciate some kind of embarrassing story to blackmail him with but I have a feeling you're telling me this for a reason."
"I don't think it'll be a shock if I told you that Josh Lyman is stubborn."
"I don't think it would come as a shock to anyone."
"He's not going to back down, Congressman." Leo claimed. "And the harder you push him on this the longer he will sit in the corner sulking with his arms folded."
"I just don't understand." Matt shook his head slightly. "Is it that bad?"
Leo opened his mouth to reply but stopped himself; yes, it was bad and it was only going to get worse but he couldn't tell the congressman that. Thankfully, the waitress had returned with his coffee and he was allowed a few extra seconds to think about his answer.
"It's personal, Sir." He said instead. "I'm not going to lie to you and tell it wouldn't affect the campaign if the press got a hold of it but don't believe it would hurt us but it would hurt Josh."
"Leo…"
"Just let this go, Sir." Leo pleaded. "Just let Josh do the job that will get you elected President and you have my word that we're not doing anything wrong or that's breaking the law."
"Are you two going to sneaking off for any more pretend doctors' appointments?" Matt did air quotes as he said the word 'pretend.'
"No, Sir…" It was hard for Leo to accept that Josh was refusing to go to any more appointments.
"I'll let it go for now…" He sighed in defeat. "But if anything else happens that makes me uncomfortable then all bets are off."
"Yes, Sir." Leo agreed, taking a sip of his coffee before pulling a face at the taste. "You know, I think I'm just going to skip the coffee..."
"Hey Leo?" Matt said once the older man had stood up from the table.
"Yeah?"
"I hope you don't mind me saying so but it might be a good idea for you to actually get a real checkup." The congressman suggested, concern filling his face when he got a good look at his running mate. "You're looking a little tired."
"The joys of campaigning, hey…"
"Leo, seriously…"
"I'll have Annabeth set something up." Leo assured him, with everything that had happened it probably was a good idea to get checked out.
"Okay, good…"
"Good night, Congressman."
"Good night, Leo."
After Leo left the restaurant, he debated with himself whether he should make sure Josh okay or not but in the ended decided to just give him some space.
Once he reached his own hotel room, he sat down on the end of the bed but after a few minutes the silence was just too much for him…It allowed him to think too hard.
He pulled out his cell phone and dialed a familiar number. After a few minutes of waiting to be connected, the line was picked up by his best friend.
"Leo?" President Bartlet greeted, cheerily.
"Good evening, Sir…I hope I'm not interrupting…"
"Oh no, nothing important happening here, just the running of the country…" Jed replied. "How's goes the campaign? Convinced anyone down in Florida to vote for you guys yet?"
"We're working on it…" Leo answered. "Josh has a plan and it seems like it could work…"
"Ah, well I've always said that he's a lot smarter then you so you should listen to him." Jed teased. "How's he doing anyway? It looks like he's doing a good job from what I've seen."
"It's the job he was born to do…" Leo dodged the first question.
"Have you reminded him that his mother lives down there in West Palm Beach and that he should visit her?"
Leo sucked in a deep, shaky breath and his eyes closed as he thought about Marie Lyman. She had already buried her husband and daughter, now she was going to lose her son…the only person she had left. He had no idea how she was going to cope with the news…
"Leo?" Jed's voice turned serious. "What is it? Is everything okay?"
"Yes, Sir…" He managed to focus on the conversation again. "Just been a long couple of days…It's catching up on me."
"You are taking care of yourself, aren't you?" Jed asked concerned.
"Yeah, just tired that's all…"
"Okay, if you say so." The president replied doubtfully. "Now was there a reason you called?"
"No, no reason…Just wanted a break from the campaign." Leo told him. "Just needed to hear a friend's voice."
There was another pause on the other end of the line and Leo knew that he had his oldest friend concerned but he also knew that Jed would not push the issues and allow him the break from reality that he needed.
"Well, how about I tell you all the wonderful things you can do in Florida…"
"That would be great, Sir…" Leo answered. "Just what I need to put me to sleep…I could use a good night's rest."
"Okay now we're going to discuss all the major attraction across the country…" Jed shot back.
"Just wake me up when you're done…"
He moved so his back was against the headboard as he listened to his friend's lecture, adding a sarcastic comment every now and then and despite it being a day from hell, he was finally able to relax a little.
TBC
Please review!
