Chapter Seven: Why Road Trips aren't for Mercenaries
"Why can't we stay at a hotel, un?" Deidara whined pitifully from the back of the group.
"I'm not sharing a room with you bastards." Hidan grumbled. "We all know Kuzu-teme is too much of a stingey shit head to let everyone get there own rooms!"
"Why would I? We would only be staying one night and that would be a waste of money." Kakuzu scowled at him.
"Who would share a room with you anyway? You're so whiny." Zabuza said.
"You got a problem with that?"
"Fuck off prick!"
"You go fuck yourself on a long dick, you bare faced ass hat!"
"Shove a spike up your ass you short chinned bastard."
"Don't talk about my fucking chin!"
"Would both of you stop arguing? We are in the middle of the forest, are you trying to alert us to a pack of bandits?" Nagato hissed.
"It's not like they'll be a problem, un." Deidara shrugged.
"Does it matter if they aren't? Can't you keep quiet until we get to Konoha? You're supposed to be ninja." Nagato hissed.
"Tell this eyebrow less fish bait to stop talking about my fucking chin!" Hidan pointed at Zabuza.
"Keep pointing that finger at me and I'll take it from you and shove it in your eye."
"I can't wait to get to Konoha." Sakura sighed.
"I'm surprised Kakuzu and Hidan haven't been fighting the moment the trip started." Karin adjusted her travel pack.
"We're traveling in a larger group, being with just one other person doesn't give you many options for conversation." Kakuzu, who was leaning against a tree, rumbled. "He's terrible company and I'd prefer it if he argued with someone else."
"Like you are..." Obito muttered under his breath.
"I'd prefer it if we didn't have to stop every five minutes to break up a fist fight." Konan said.
"In my defense teme started it." Naruto raised up both hands in defense.
"In my defense Naruto is a dumbass, someone has to kick his ass every now and again." Sasuke smoothly retorted.
Naruto glared at his best friend.
"Sasuke-kun is so cool~." Karin swooned.
"Mou, mou," Sakura sweatdropped. "Is this really necessary?"
"Sakura-chan~" Obito whined. "I have a headache, you got any pills?"
"Sure."
"I'm running out of water people!" Suigetsu shook his half empty cup in the air.
"There is a creek about three miles ahead." Juugo said, holding a blue jay.
"Wait a minute!" Nagato did a brief head count. "Where is Kisame?"
"Did we lose one on our way here?" Sasori asked.
"Wasn't he just here?" Karin looked around the clearing.
"Oh great!" Obito said sarcastically. "First, we stop three times in the middle of the forest and now three people in our group are missing!"
"Wait three?!" Deidara blinked.
"Aniki!"
"Haku?!"
. . .
"Ne, Itachi are you sure we should just leave them like that?" Kisame looked down at his best friend.
"They'll be fine."
"What lovely flowers!" Haku hummed. "I wonder what properties they have in them, I 'll have to look it up."
"Do you think they noticed we're gone by now?" The blue man glanced behind them.
"Possibly."
"Would you two help me pick a few of these?" Haku asked.
"I don't see why not." Itachi stopped and turned to help her.
Kisame stood off to the side and sweat dropped. Really, Itachi was just an odd ball sometimes and Kisame worried for him.
Those three are so chill.
