It was mid November 1997. Six weeks had passed since the CMA's and Rayna and Deacon's 5 year anniversary. Rayna had been home from the European tour almost 2 months.

Things had been great between Rayna and Deacon since the night of the CMA's.

He was back to every Thursday night at the Bluebird. He was working on a lot of new material for Belcort Records both recording and writing, but mostly writing for their publishing division and lyric sales.

He had a lot more studio time to work on things with Rayna home to occupy Maddie.

Rayna had promised Deacon minimal time away from home, but she still had obligations to Edgehill that Deacon wasn't aware of. He knew about her own album release coming up in early 1998, and that she was still putting finishing touches on it.

He wasn't aware of Edgehill's latest requests. Rayna and Luke were Edgehill's biggest stars. Right after the CMA's when Luke had some time in Nashville, before he had to leave on tour again, he and Rayna had spent some studio time laying down tracks for a Christmas album.

Edgehill had requested a couple duets with Luke and Rayna. She had kept it professional, and made sure they weren't ever alone together in the studio.

Luke wanted to talk about what happened in California, but Rayna didn't. She really wanted to just forget it. She hadn't ever told Deacon about the kiss, and really didn't plan to at this point.

Originally she had planned to tell Deacon everything about California, but then Edgehill dropped the Christmas duets on her. They were a hit. The execs at Edgehill loved them, and now had an even bigger request.

They wanted a full album of duets with Luke and Rayna for release in mid to late 1998.

Bucky had begged Edgehill to let Rayna out of it, but it didn't work. They were dead set on a dual release album between Luke and Rayna.

She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. She had requested next year's touring be minimal and restricted to the United States so that she could be home with Deacon and Maddie more. The compromise was the dual album with Luke.

She grudgingly accepted and signed the contracts with open ended dates and times for work on the album when Luke was in Nashville, and when she happened to be in the same city early next year.

She was dreading every minute of it, and had no idea how to tell Deacon. He was going to flip out. There was no way she could possibly tell him about the kiss now, and still expect him to be OK with her and Luke working together.

Deacon was enjoying his Thursday's at the Bluebird, but he was still struggling with writer's block. Belcort was really putting pressure on him for new material. They had been lenient when Rayna was on tour because they knew he was doing the single parent thing, but now the pressure was on for fresh material. He was starting to feel like he just didn't have the magic anymore.

The past couple years alone with Maddie had consisted of quiet concerts by her bedside with Aladdin, The Lion King, 101 Dalmations and every Disney theme song he could think of to get her to sleep at night.

"Hey, babe…what you working on?" Rayna asked as she snuggled up next to Deacon on the piano bench in their home studio one Friday afternoon.

Maddie was in preschool from 11-3pm on Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Rayna and Deacon loved the quiet time ALONE a few times per week.

"What Do you think of this one?" Deacon began to play the piano and sing

"Bless The Broken Road"
(originally by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band) (Rascal Flaats)

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
(Yes He did)

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true.

[Chorus]

Yeah.

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

"It's OK, but kinda ho hum…have you worked on anything more upbeat?" Rayna asked as she layed her head on his shoulder.

Deacon grabbed his guitar and moved to a stool as Rayna watched and listened

"This one's not really upbeat, but more catchy, and I guess more depressing." He said as he began to play and sing

I Miss My Friend

Song by Darryl Worley

I miss the look of surrender in your eyes
The way your soft brown hair would fall
I miss the power of your kiss when we made love
But baby most of all

I miss my friend
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again
And let the light back in
I miss my friend

I miss the colors that you brought into my life
Your golden smile, those blue-green eyes
I miss your gentle voice in lonely times like now
Saying it'll be alright

I miss my friend
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again
And let the light back in
I miss my friend

I miss those times
I miss those nights
I even miss the silly fights
The making up

"Well…how about that?" Deacon asked hopeful she liked it

"Is that about me?" she asked

"You're always my inspiration, baby." He smiled

"When did you write that?"

"Oh I dunno. One night after Maddie went to sleep and I was missing you."

"I like it, Deke, but I think Belcort is looking for more upbeat, modern, happy, ya know." She said as lovingly as she could

"Yeah, I guess. I just don't have it anymore, Ray. Not sure what my problem is. I'm a happy guy. I have the love of my life and an amazing little girl. I just can't seem to snap outta this funk with my writing." He said as he sat his guitar down and joined Rayna on the piano bench again.

"You'll get it back, Deacon. Everyone goes through that. You're an amazing songwriter."

"Hopefully I'll get it back soon, or Belcort's gonna fire my ass."

"Maybe you could use an afternoon quickie to get the creative juices flowing?" Rayna playfully said as she unbuckled Deacon's belt

"You're certainly getting the juices flowing. Not sure they're the creative kind." Deacon laughed as he kissed Rayna's neck and undid her top few shirt buttons.

"You wanna go upstairs?" Rayna asked

"Nah..I'll just take you right here in the middle of my pile of scores and sheet music. Our bed is too far away. I can't wait that long." Deacon laughed as he pulled Rayna to the rug in the middle of the home studio.

Several hours passed as the day slipped away. Deacon loved time alone with Rayna at home, no interruptions, no calls, or meetings, or managers, or fans….

"Oh CRAP!" Rayna suddenly jumped up from a peaceful slumber in Deacon's arms

"WHAT, JESUS, RAY! You scared the hell out of me.

"It's 2:56…We have to pick up Maddie at 3. I can't believe we both fell asleep like that."

"Relax, Ray. It's 5 minutes away. So we'll be a few minutes late. Let's go."

"Why don't we pick up some sandwiches, and take Maddie to the park. It's a nice day." Deacon suggested as they drove the few miles to the preschool

"She'd like that. An early dinner, and maybe she'll go to sleep at a decent time tonight." Rayna said, still annoyed that Deacon spoils Maddie a bit too much and bedtime has been a nightmare as a result.

"I'll see if I can wear her out a little, Ray." Deacon laughed. He loved bedtime with Maddie. The quiet time singing to her or playing guitar, or just holding her till she falls asleep

"I know you think I spoil her, baby. She's not gonna be little forever. I just wanna spend every second I can being her daddy. In a few years she'll be embarrassed to be seen with me." Deacon laughed

"I hardly doubt that, Deacon. She is mesmerized by you and music. I think you'll always be close to Maddie. She's a daddy's girl. It kinda hurts sometimes. She asks for you when she's sick or hurt." Rayna said a tear in her eye

"Ray, she loves you. It's just I've been with her so much the past couple years. It'll get better in the next year when you're with her more." He said reassuringly as he squeezed Rayna's hand

Maddie bounded down the school steps with the teacher right behind her as soon as she saw Deacon's suburban.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Claybourne. We've had kind of a rough day."

"Maddie! We've talked about this." Deacon looked at her sternly as Rayna fastened her into the car seat.

"What's going on?" Rayna inquired

"We've had some issues with sharing, and apologizing, pouting, not wanting to nap, generally just doing what she wants, and not listening." The teacher continued as Rayna glared at Deacon

"We'll talk to her again." Deacon said as the irritated teacher walked away

"WHAT?" Deacon said as he closed Maddie's door and felt Rayna's glare

"You never said anything about problems at school, Deacon."

"I didn't think it was that big of an issue, Rayna, OK?"

"Anything with Maddie is THAT big of an issue, Deacon!"

"You let her do whatever she wants. You have got to stop this, Deacon!"

"I don't let her do whatever she wants, Rayna."

"REALLY? When was the last time you told her no without me making you tell her no?"

"FINE, RAYNA! You want me to be an asshole, and play the bad parent for a while?"

Rayna knew he was irritated as he got back in the truck. Maddie was quiet in the backseat. She knew with Rayna around things weren't all fun and games.

"Well…Miss Maddie…we were going to get some dinner and take you to the park, but I'm not sure that's such a good idea since you got in trouble at school today." Rayna said as she looked back at a now pouting Maddie

"Daddy always takes me to the park." She shot back at Rayna

"Not today, Maddie! Mom's right. You need to learn to be good in school. No park until we get a good report from your teacher." Deacon said as he glanced at Maddie in the rear view mirror.

Maddie started to cry in the back seat. Rayna could tell it was hurting Deacon more than Maddie, but he didn't say anything.

"So what do you want to do for dinner now, Ray?"

"We can still pick up sandwiches."

"OK" Deacon said as he turned into a Subway

"What's everyone want?" Deacon asked as they approached the to go speaker

"I'm NOT hungry. I'm NOT eating." Maddie protested from the back seat.

"Ray…what do you want?"

"Just order me and Maddie turkey clubs, and whatever you want, Deacon."

"I SAID I'M NOT EATING. I'M NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT! I HATE YOU. I WANNA GO TO THE PARK. PPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLEEEEESSSEE DADDDDDYYYYYYYYY. YOU ALWAYS TAKE MEEEEEE." Maddie was in full temper tantrum mode now.

Deacon couldn't hear the speaker over Maddie's screaming and started to lose his temper.

"ALRIGHT! THAT'S ENOUGH MADDIE!" he yelled at the screaming kicking child behind him

"Let's just go home, Deacon. Forget the sandwiches." An irritated Rayna said as Maddie continued to scream and kick in the back seat

"GODDAMIT MADDIE KNOCK IT OFF!" Deacon yelled as his face turned bright red in anger. Maddie stopped kicking, but continued to sob in the back seat as Deacon pulled away from Subway

"GREAT FUCKIN FAMILY TIME, RAY."

"What are you pissed off at me for DEACON? She wouldn't act like this if you didn't give in to every damn thing she wants."

Neither of them said another word as Maddie sobbed the rest of the way home. Deacon had barely applied the brakes in the garage and Rayna was out of the truck, and slammed the door on her way into the kitchen leaving him to deal with a still sobbing Maddie.

All he wanted to do was take Maddie in his arms and comfort her, but Rayna was right. That would just be giving into her bad behavior.

He unbuckled her car seat and carried her to the kitchen. He put her down and she ran to the TV in the living room to turn on cartoons.

"Maddie. No TV." Rayna scolded her from the kitchen as Maddie ignored her and turned the volume up

Deacon took a deep breath as Rayna looked at him for support. He went to the living room and took the remote away from Maddie which only started another fit.

"I WANNA WATCH CARTOONS!" she screamed

"Go to your room, Maddie!" Deacon said

"NO! I'M WATCHING CARTOONS. YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING. I HATE YOU. I WANNA WATCH CARTOONS. PPLLLLEEEEEAASE DADDDYYYYYY!"

"GO TO YOUR ROOM!" Deacon tried more forcefully, but Maddie was stubborn.

"NO" Maddie said as she folded her arms on her chest

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Deacon grabbed Maddie and carried her up the stairs kicking and screaming the entire way. Rayan probably would have spanked her at that point, but Deacon refused to do that.

"YOU STAY IN HERE UNTIL YOU'RE READY TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY!"

"I'M NOT SORRY. I HATE YOU BOTH. I WANNA RUN AWAY TO A NEW HOME. YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE. DON'T MAKE ME STAY IN HERE DADDYYYYYYYYYY!"

Deacon came back downstairs as Maddie's temper tantrum escalated in her bedroom. She was throwing things, and knocking things over, and throwing herself on the floor as her fit raged on.

"HAPPY NOW, RAY, HUH? WAS ALL THAT REALLY NECESSARY? YOU WANT ME TO JUST BE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE TO HER AND MAKE HER CRY?"

"NO, DEACON, BUT SHE NEEDS TO LEARN TO BEHAVE HERSELF AT SCHOOL. HAVING A "TALK" WITH HER OBVIOUSLY DID NOTHING."

'WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, RAY. IF I'M DOIN SUCH A GOADDAMN ROTTEN JOB RAISING HER MAYBE YOU NEED TO STAY HOME AND DO IT YOURSELF."

Deacon slammed the garage door as he went out to his truck with Rayna right behind him.

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING, DEACON?"

"I need to take a drive to cool off, alright? I'll be back. What do you want for dinner? I'll pick it up."

"The turkey club sandwiches are fine if you wanna go back to Subway."

"OK" Deacon said as he backed out of the garage.

20 minutes later he was sitting in a liquor store parking lot staring at a bottle of Jack he'd just bought. He was struggling with writing and Belcort breathing down his neck. He hated that he and Rayna couldn't agree on how to raise Maddie. He'd been drinking socially for the past couple of years, but always stopped after one or two. Right now for the first time in years he wanted to down the bottle.