Chapter 7: Aftermath
She hated him, with every fiber in her body. He had humiliated her, disgraced not only her but her family and ancestors with his disgusting remark two weeks ago. She had loved him with all her heart, and even trusted him with her deepest secrets she had felt like prior to meeting him would be impossible to speak of. When she looked at him, it was as if she was the only one that could solve the complex, cold and unforgiving puzzle fuedal Japan knew as Sesshomaru, and that moment at the dinner table razed any hope that maybe in the past century he had changed. He didn't do anything at all to change himself, even when he had a woman desperate for his love and a daughter who was to be married, and he didn't change himself for her. She told herself she hated him, but couldn't hate him, which made her disgusted with herself.
Soledad had simply drifted around the castle when she had bothered to get up from her bed the past week, only to get a cup of tea or just to stare up at the clouds drifting into the sky for hours, without thinking about anything. She felt numb and worthless. If it was anyone else that would call her a whore she would have been able to curse them out or simply shake it off, because to her they were nothing. But when Sesshomaru said, it hit her hard and the numerous attempts by Sol and Shinto were to no avail. She was frustrated and angry for letting it get to her, but she couldn't get herself out of the funk.
Soledad looked up at the top of the ceiling, which was an elaborate picture of delicate Japanese cherry blossoms circling around the small chandelier above her bed decorated with precious jewels in elaborate colors. She sighed and slowly got up from the bed to go and eat something. She hadn't really eaten anything the past two weeks, other than a few pieces a bread she had with her cups of tea when she came out of her room every two or three days. After she took a long shower she put on a long emerald green kimono and a silver obi, and put her hair up in a bun that looked more carelessly done than her usual messy bun that still looked in a way polished. She pushed back a few loose curls behind her ear and went outside. Her eyes drifted around, and she knew she probably looked like a person lost in a place that they just walked into without noticing where they were going. As soon as she reached the dining room she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Sesshomaru there. It looked as if he was looking for someone, and she knew it was her whom he sought. She wanted to turn and run away from him, but she couldn't, she was dead in her tracks. He finally looked in her direction, and his sun kissed eyes met her hazel ones. He saw in her eyes that she was trying to glare at him, but there was a hint of anxiousness in her eyes as well.
"Soledad, I need to talk to you." he said softly. She glared at him, her jaw clenched for a few long seconds before responding to him. This scene replayed in her mind over and over again in her head, as she practically rehearsed what she was going to say to him, but she knew it was not going to work.
"There's nothing to talk about." she said coldly. "I believe you said everything you wanted to say to me and infront of everyone else in fact a few weeks ago."
"Do not start with me. I have been waiting for you for hours everyday in this dining room and you haven't been here." he said impatiently, getting up from his chair. "I need to talk to you."
"I don't care if you have been slowly trying to kill yourself everyday to talk to me. You obviously said what you felt about me and you got your wish to humiliate not only me but my family." she said hotly. "I am not speaking with you." she went to turn but he grabbed her arm roughly to stop her.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!!" she yelled, trying to pry herself from his grip. "You're a disgusting man, and I hate you! I can't stand you, and I could never love someone so disgusting."
"You don't mean that, and you know it." she looked at him square in the eyes.
"I know I can't love someone who thinks so little of me, and thinks I was just another girl on the list he played for a fool." she ripped her arm from his grip and hastily walked away, trying to make sure he couldn't grab her again, but in a flash she was pinned agaisnt the wall by the Taiyoukai. And for those few seconds, she only stared at him, their eyes clashing, and even though she felt that she should be struggling or trying to free a hand in order to slap his face as hard as she could, she could only stare at him, with so many thoughts sprinting through her mind it was making her dizzy. And then he suddenly kissed her. It was a rough kiss, but it was a kiss with feeling. She could feel his frustration caused by her and himself, and yet there was a soft passion to it, as if he had waited for so long for their lips to meet.
When the long kiss ended, he slowly lowered her, until her feet were firmly on the ground, and even though Soledad was always known as the talkative and strong minded person who wouldn't hesitate to speak her mind, nothing came out of her mouth. She was speechless.
"Father?!" Sesshomaru and Soledad heard a voice shriek in astonishment and disgust, and Sol stood there, her face stuck in shock.
"Sol, I can explain...." Soledad began, but Sol only snarled at her.
"What is this?! You stay in your room everyday even after multiple attempts by Shinto and I to cheer you up because of what he did," she said softly, pointing to her father, "and then I see this? And Shinto's now away on a military trip and you had to do this to him?! You know how much he cares about you and how protective he is of you. I haven't seen him care about someone like that in my life!" she said. Soledad put her head down shamefully. She didn't plan for what had happened, but she knew how devastated and hurt he was going to be about this, even if she knew in her heart that she simply couldn't love him the same way that he obviously loved her.
"I still can't believe what I just saw. How am I supposed to feel about the affair between you two?" she placed her hand on her forehead in frustration, and then glared at Soledad harshly. "Maybe you are what my father had claimed." she said coldly.
"We aren't together, I swear!" Soledad said in desperation. "Please, it was an accident, and it will never happen again."
"Don't you try to fix this, you whore." she said coldly to Soledad.
"Don't you dare say that about her." Sesshomaru snarled. Sol gave her father the cold, unemotional face that Soledad thought the great Taiyoukai was the only one to master.
"Well, you were the one who brought it up, and I guess you were right. But don't play innocent, father. How could you do this to mother? Are you trying to destroy her?! Have you not noticed how unhappy she is because whatever she does to gain your attention ends in vain?" she said angrily, her voice rising with every word. "I hope you enjoy eachother." she said in a disgusted tone before leaving the room. Soledad looked up at Sesshomaru and before he could say a word in response or before he could even bother, she ran out of the room.
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As Kagura looked at the scene that had unraveled in front of her, a tear silently went down her cheek. She had been using the Kanna's mirror after she had given it to her after Naraku's death shortly after he killed Soledad, and in the past few week she found her self using it all the time, and most of the time she found it hard to watch, especially now. She had so many emotions running through her: pain, frustration, anger, jealously, and hopelessness all wrapped up inside of her. Kagura took the pearl encrusted comb right next to her and flung it agaisnt the wall, causing a dent to manifest in the wall. She sighed in anger and felt more tears threatening to spill over her cheeks. She knew it was going to happen, and that it was as inevitable as death, but she wanted for Sesshomaru to somehow fall out of love with her, that he would think of her as just a figure in the past that somehow came back around but he would have no reconnection with.
"What is wrong with me?" she whispered softly, half hoping that somehow Sesshomaru would be able to hear it from across the palace. "What is it that she has that I cannot give you?" She had done anything and everything he wanted of her, she gave him a child, and even though she knew it wasn't a boy she couldn't be blamed of it if he was the one that didn't want to touch her again for numerous decades at a time. She knew she couldn't be blamed if he wouldn't bother holding her unless it was pinned against the wall by her throat everytime she brought Soledad up in an arguement, and she knew that even all of her love and devotion to him wasn't going to make him feel the same way about her, but she couldnt' help taking the blame and suffering the pain for it.
But then as an idea that she had tried to push out of her mind suddenly reappeared, and she was happy that she wasn't able to forget what he had said to her. She quickly wiped away the tears on her face and reapplyed her makeup as quickly as she could, and then checked in Kanna's mirror to see if Soledad was in her room.
Perfect. she thought as the mirror revealed that not a soul was there in the bedroom. She swiftly made her way to the other side of the castle and reached the wooden doors. Slowly opening them, she peered into the room to double check. When she didn't hear anything she made her way over to the makeup table at the side of the room. She scowled as she entered, because the room was drenched in the scent of vanilla and jasmine. She glanced quickly on what was on the table: a small, simple comb, a few barettes, and her brush.
That's what I think I need. she thought to herself, smirking. She pulled off some of the hair from the brush and started to way out.
"Lady Kagura?" came a soft voice from behind her. She turned anxiously to see Soledad's servant Umi standing there in her simple black kimono, holding towels and laundry in her arms. "What are you doing here?"
"Um... I was going to check to see if Soledad was in here, but I see now that she isn't." Kagura said hastily, trying her best to keep a poker face about it, but she knew it was failing once a suspicious look emerged on Umi's face.
"Okay....I am sorry to ask you this, Lady Kagura, since this shouldn't be any of my business, but why do you have a clump of hair in you hand?" Kagura tried to keep the nervousness on her face and make up a good excuse.
"Well, when I heard you say something to me, I jumped and grabbed this hair from my head." she said quickly. She tried putting on a smile. "Guess you know about my secret hair extensions. Hehehe." she said quietly. "Well, I must leave. It was a pleasure to have a conversation with you, Umi." she said before quickly leaving the room.
This might be a little harder than I would've thought. she thought as she was leaving the room.
"Mother!" Kagura heard Sol from behind her in the hallway. She turned to see her daughter in a midnight blue kimono running towards her.
"You are going to fall on your face on of these days if you keep on running around the house like that." she scolded.
"Mom, you have been saying that for years now, and I think you and I both know that I will be fine, I am used to running around everywhere." she said as she got to her mother. "Can we go to the garden together? I need to talk to you about something." she said with a more serious tone.
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Okay guys, that's it!! I hope you enjoyed the Chapter. I tried to make it as interesting as possible, so keep reading and stay tuned!
