AN: Thank you very much for your support and reviews. This chapter is in celebration of Doctor Who Series 9 starting!
I've tried to maintain a realistic characterization of the Soldier and tried not to excuse any of her actions but like the 12th doctor said, sometimes there are only bad choices. While the Doctor can create miraculous solutions largely because he has a TARDIS and writer bias, the Soldier isn't so lucky. To the Soldier, killing a few "innocent" men to spare a civil War, while wrong, is still better than the alternative. Doctor Who is full of questionable morality and I will not hesitate in trying to depict this.
The Match That Ignited the Flames
The Soldier stood staring at the dead bodies of the rulers. Their faces were frozen in indignant shock, clearly caught off guard in the middle of their argument. The Soldier felt the cold numbness that engulfed her when she killed those she knew didn't deserve to die. The image of Artis flashed across her eyes and the regret shattered her numbness for a second before she hurriedly shelved the emotion. Though she generally cared for the well-being of a planet's inhabitants, she was personally invested this time. She couldn't imagine Artis forgiving her for what she had just done.
Which meant he would never know.
The Soldier pulled out her disintegration beam and kneeled next to their bodies. "I am truly sorry. But it is better if you two die than your species and planet."
The Soldier disintegrated their bodies and collected their ashes. She walked to the forest river and scattered their ashes in it, saying a prayer in Gallifreyan that honored the dead. There was nothing more she could do.
The Soldier trudged slowly through the forest back to Settlement 16 and her mind whirred through all possible plans. There was only one that would work, but she hated even the thought of it.
It was simple, almost obvious when you thought about it. The Outsiders and Time Lords had disliked each other until a common threat –the Daleks- had united them together. No matter how much Latites and Smicks hated each other, if they were presented with a greater foreign threat, they would have to cooperate and create a truce even if they were reluctant.
And who was the best foreign threat at the moment? Her.
The Soldier felt nausea rise at the role she had to play. In a twisted way, she'd already dug her grave, now she just had to lie in it. Murdering both leaders was more than sufficient cause for her to be deemed a threat. But the biggest objection she had to this plan was simultaneously the biggest cause of her going through with it.
Artis.
He would never look at her the same way again if she went through with this and yet she wanted to protect him from the war. At least then he could live peacefully with his people and more importantly, his compassion would be seen as strength rather than weakness.
The Soldier covered her face, shaking in turmoil. Why had she even interfered in the first place? She had no right to decide who lived and died. She had no right to be arrogant to think she knew best. War and conflict were equally as important as peace and harmony in defining races and progress. Sure, thousands, millions died uselessly in wars, but how could she have been conceited enough to assume that she was the one with the solution? That what she did would be right?
The Soldier shook, unable to stop the tears of regret that escaped her eyes. She was over a thousand years old and so tired. Maybe what she had done for now was enough. She could head back and pretend she had no idea what was going on.
It was cowardly but she did not want to become the villain for the greater good. After so many years, she'd found someone she actually liked being around and she loathed the idea of pushing him away. The Soldier, unlike other Time Lords, didn't have the illusion that she was better than everyone else. She loved being a Time Lord, she loved Gallifrey but she had, from a very young age, been taught to see the flaws of Time Lords. She considered herself better than other Time Lords for that very reason, but not better than every being in the Universe. Being average had only enforced this. The Soldier didn't mind that she wasn't special or one of a kind; on the contrary, she hated the uniqueness of being the last of her kind. Loathed its loneliness.
All she wanted was peace. Of mind? Or of the world around her, she did not know.
So far, no one knew what she had just done. If she played this right then no one ever would. Since the heads of the opposing sides was missing, there would be no immediate danger of war. Maybe. Hopefully.
The Soldier had a gut feeling that she wouldn't be so lucky, that she was doing something very wrong but she would not be the villain. Mind made against every instinct in her, the Soldier reached Artis's home and entered to find him cooking in the kitchen for the children's midday meal.
"You're back!" Artis grinned at her in welcome. The Soldier paused from going to her room.
"Where are your supplies? The ones from your ship?" Artis asked quizzically.
The Soldier patted her coat pockets. Artis looked at her confused. "Not much survived. I need to freshen up. I will be back in a moment." The Soldier dashed to her room, unable to face Artis.
The Soldier stood under the spiraling showerhead as it cleansed her and swore to herself that she wouldn't act on her hateful plan unless she had no other option. She exited and dressed, feeling a little better after her resolution. She joined Artis and sat next to him as he cut the vegetables.
"Do you hate the Smicks?" The Soldier asked him tentatively.
"Yep. No doubt about it." Artis looked at her bemused. "Why, is something wrong?"
"It does not disturb you that war is on the horizon?" The Soldier asked intensely.
Artis sighed. "Just because I hate some people doesn't mean I'm okay with war. I don't want a war breaking out, but if it's the only way that Smicks stop mistreating my people then there isn't anything I can do about it."
"What if there was a truce? Would you hate that?" The Soldier was tapping the table restlessly with her fingers.
"Are you okay? Why are you so keyed up? It's not like you." Artis asked worriedly. The Soldier jolted at the unexpected question and scolded herself for her transparency. No matter how reserved she was, in front of Artis she felt comfortable, vulnerable even. She calmed herself, waiting patiently for his reply.
"That's never going to happen. It's impossible." Artis took in the Soldier's conflicted expression and sighed before replying again. "Who doesn't want peace? I don't want my kinsmen dying."
"Perhaps the Smicks share a similar sentiment. Maybe a truce would be better?" She ventured again.
"As a soldier, I suppose you understand the evils of war. But don't forget that no one actually wants to be in one. Sometimes accepting the fate of being suppressed is a greater evil than defending yourself in a war. If any truce does happen, it must be fair to the Latites. In fact, it must be fair to everyone, not just us; to all the other races too, the Gondos, Shalwins so that the Smicks do not move to suppress another."
The Soldier faintly traced the cloth on the table with her fingers as she mulled in thought before responding, "What do you think would unite them all?"
"Love?" Artis grinned and winked at her, and the Soldier let out a small choking laugh, trying to hide the flush in her face.
"Be serious." The Soldier scolded reprovingly but her flushed face took away any bite.
"So we're going to keep talking about the impossible then?" Artis teased, taking delight in how easy it was to provoke the Soldier.
"Artis." The Soldier warned jokingly. She took the knife from him and chopped the vegetables much quicker, her expertise with blades coming through.
"Red." Artis mimicked before sending her a toothy smile. The Soldier felt her hearts skip a beat.
"How were the spawn of the devil while I was gone?" The Soldier queried with a smile. Artis let out a deep laugh before answering,
"The usual. Upended the house, went wild in the forest and since I'm the boss of the devil, I made them clean up after themselves." Artis wiggled his eyebrows comically.
"If you managed that, you are definitely the boss of the universe." The Soldier teased. She felt warmth suffuse her when he laughed again.
"Do you want to go for a walk after cooking?" The Soldier asked casually. "The wind outside will be a reprieve from the heat inside."
"Yeah sure, though we should be back before the first child gets dropped off."Artis cautioned.
The Soldier and Artis worked in unison around the kitchen and finished the meal quickly. They walked out the door and towards the forest edge.
They had been strolling for fifteen minutes, chatting about nothing in particular when the warning bells from the settlement starting ringing rigorously. Alarmed, the two of them rushed back and found a large number of people gathered around the outhouse. Leader Sixteen stood in front, asking people to get seated.
The Soldier and Artis approached and stood in the back, hiding among the numerous others in the back.
"Leader Zero is missing and suspected dead. The Smicks have finally done it. They had the audacity to murder Leader Zero! This will not be forgiven! We will go to war. We will no longer tolerate the atrocities the Smicks have commited-"
His speech was drowned out by the sound of an approaching aircraft and the Soldier stared in muted horror as the aircraft started firing upon the village. What had she done? Things had escalated too fast. War had broken out anyway. She would have to do it. Stop the war by any means possible. It was her fault again.
Screams rang throughout the village as men, women, and children ran trying to find shelter. Artis ran forward, trying to pull the Soldier to safety. The Soldier pushed Artis to the ground when she spotted the aircraft shooting at him and anger prompted her to run towards the aircraft. Dodging the lasers, she pulled out her gun and fired at the wing, causing the craft to crash into the forest. The Latite warriors rushed towards the crash site and Artis stood up staring at her in shock before pulling her back to his home.
"It's started. It's finally started!" Artis exclaimed in horror.
o0o
The Soldier silently returned to the cabin where she had killed the two rulers.
The war had begun with the Latites having advantage over land and Smicks with technology. Barely half a day had passed, and already fire was rising steadily from all directions with screams echoing in the forest.
The Soldier was conflicted. Artis's words echoed in her mind.
Sometimes accepting the fate of being suppressed is a greater evil than defending yourself in a war.
This wasn't her world. She shouldn't have interfered. She should have just dealt with the rogue Latites and left. Not even that. She should have just quit the Shadow Proclamation. She didn't have any right to make this decision. The Latites and Smicks had problems with each other that wouldn't resolve easily. Maybe not until thousands died. There was no hope.
The sound of wheezing groaning filled the air. Familiar scented wind drifted through the windows.
Startled, the Soldier rushed to the door and opened it to find nothing outside. Turning around, she heard a door slamming, and she quietly closed her own before sneaking around to the back of the cabin. She made out the outline of a blue box before a man dressed in a magician's coat stormed past her to pick up a rock and throw it at a tree. He was aged similar to her with deep wrinkles lining his face. His eyebrows were sharp, seeming to be a weapon of their own, in contrast to the raging devastation in his eyes. Her Senses tingled.
The Soldier stood on guard and drew her weapon, waiting for him to face her. A man in his state was desperate and dangerous.
The Doctor turned, looking for something else on which to vent his rage and spotted a vaguely familiar figure. Where had he seen that face before? No, not important. Gun, she had a gun.
"Why are you pointing your gun at me? Is it a crime to throw rocks now?" The Doctor lashed out, his face contorting in disgusted condescension. "Soldiers! Hate the lot of you!"
The Soldier jolted in surprise before lowering her gun an inch. "You have landed in warring territory. Looking at your physiology, you are clearly an alien."
"How do you know I am an alien? We both have identical humanoid features." The Doctor asked with a glare.
"This is Panache of Alevora system. At this moment in time, all intergalactic contact has been cut off due to civil war." The Soldier returned calmly, unaffected by the glare. "I am the only other alien to have arrived in the past two months."
"Oh right, blue and violet humans, the joy. I just got kicked off one human world and am about to be kicked off another. Wonderful." The Doctor kicked a nearby tree. "Why are you still here? I don't want to see the face of a soldier. Get lost!"
"You have intruded on my space, not the other way around. Do not be loud or else we will be heard."
"Hiding, are you? Some soldier you are." The Doctor mocked but nonetheless settled on a stump near the cabin.
"These are not my people; I have no right to interfere in their business." The Soldier retorted sharply.
"Exactly! How can you make decisions for races that aren't yours? Help them even? They find it so easy to pawn off blame onto you!" The Soldier didn't think he was really referring to her.
"Who are you anyway?" The Doctor snapped.
"I am the Soldier but people here know me as Red Alpha." She responded, trying not to get mad at his rudeness. "Who are you?"
The Doctor froze, looking extremely conflicted. "Of all people…" He muttered. He regarded her carefully trying to figure out which version of the Soldier this was. Clearly the Soldier hadn't met this him yet.
"Well I'm not sure you would even know! Tell me, have you ever been on Earth?" The Doctor dodged.
"Yes I have; once on the planet and then on its satellite, the moon. Now who are you?" The Soldier said, irritated at the condescension.
The Doctor thought quickly. The Soldier he'd known had stayed on Earth multiple times, so clearly this was before the incident. It was best if she didn't know who he was.
"I'm John Smith." The Doctor drawled. "Common name isn't it?" The Doctor's eyes glittered with hidden amusement at his joke.
"How did you land on this planet?" The Soldier interrogated, ignoring the Doctor's cryptic emphasis. "Why are you here?"
"What, people can make pit stops now, can't they?" The Doctor complained.
The Soldier sighed, her patience already wearing thin from the horrors of the day. "If you harm the inhabitants of this planet in any way, I will kill you. Understood?"
"Yea, yea. I don't really care anyway." The Doctor's defensive attitude suddenly disappeared and his visage visibly drooped, his eyes showing desolation she hadn't seen in another in a long time.
Something of the man's suffering seemed kindred to her own and the Soldier found herself sitting down across from him, unable to be alone in her misery and recognizing the same in him. She sat quietly, appreciating his silent company.
"What happened?" The Doctor asked eventually, having had enough of the silence. After everything the two of them had been through, he couldn't bring himself to ignore her despair, especially since he'd been the root cause of it many times.
"What do you mean?" The Soldier answered slowly.
"Why do you look so miserable?" The Doctor turned to her, watching her carefully.
"What business is it of yours?" The Soldier asked apprehensively.
"None really. But I'm a stranger to you and I only came here because I was running from my own problems. I'll be gone before the end of the day. You can tell me."
The Soldier stared skeptically at him. "You first."
The Doctor stared at her for a moment before responding. "A friend of mine, Clara, left me. Told me to go away and never come back. Just like that. It was so easy for her."
"What did you do?" The Soldier asked intuitively. As loath as she was to hearing 'romantic' problems, she appreciated the trivial distraction from her own troubles.
"Nothing." Seeing the Soldier's disbelief, the Doctor was quick to continue, "Honestly, it was because I did nothing. She wanted me to act on behalf of her race and she got furious because I told her I couldn't. That I had no right to interfere like that." The Doctor's countenance seemed to slump even further.
"Oh. The situation I face is similar." She stared into the distance, mulling her own circumstances. "I love this planet, its people. But war has broken out and I do not know how it will end. I have thought of a way to end it, but the plan's execution – I have neither the will nor the right to do it. I have wrought enough damage without adding more."
"You like this planet?" The Doctor made a face. "Well to each their own." His face drooped again. "I thought I was right in not interfering. But I was wrong. Clara left me and I don't like saying this often but she was right to do it. You can't say you love someone or something, and then desert them when they need you most. It's just like Clara said, when you breathe the same air, walk the same ground as them, you can sure as hell help when they need it."
The Soldier turned to see the Doctor rubbing his face continuously, fighting to control his grief. He turned to her with a grave expression.
"Don't make the same mistake that I did. If you care, then help them or else you'll just be alone, like me." The Doctor couldn't hide the slight tremor in his voice.
The Soldier dropped her head onto her hands. If she executed her plan then she'd be alone, but according to John Smith, she'd be alone if she didn't help anyway. What could she do? The lesser evil seemed to be the sacrifice of her happiness.
A familiar, despised, pit returned to her stomach. She was tormented because she knew her decision had already been made. All she was doing was procrastinating, indulging in the last few moments of the calm before the storm.
The Soldier looked up to the man claiming to be John Smith and considered him. Despite everything a small part of her hoped she could be forgiven for what she was about to do. Maybe if he could be forgiven for his inaction then she could be forgiven too. It was very unlikely she knew, but she hoped desperately anyways.
"Does this Clara love you?" The Soldier asked tentatively.
"I thought so. Or at least she did once, before I changed. Long story." The Doctor considered her carefully.
"Is she angry at you? Furious? Claiming to hate you?" The Soldier continued.
"Yes."
"No one is done with something when they are still angry about it. Indifference is what you should fear." The Soldier said with a smile.
"My experience tells me otherwise. Anger is a great motivator to ruining a relationship, hatred just seals the deal." The Doctor contradicted, giving a wry smile.
"Fine, then end it on good terms. Contact her and make peace with her. Even if there is no forgiveness, make the attempt to end it cordially. For yourself. So regret does not plague you later. Give yourself closure." The Soldier gave him a sad smile. "Guilt and regret are poison to the soul. The occasions where you can assuage them are few and far in between. Take this from someone who knows it well."
The Doctor hid his face behind his left hand, his fingers hiding his eyes. "If I ever wronged you, would you be able to forgive me?" Something in his tone told the Soldier he was implying something more.
"I am not Clara. Though if I was someone who claimed to love you and your apology was heartfelt, then yes." The Soldier replied comfortingly.
"That's not what-" The Doctor shook his head and broke off. "You already did, so what does it matter?" He muttered.
"What?" The Soldier looked at him confused. Before she could question him further, he stood up abruptly and moved away from her.
"Thank you. I'll think about what you said." The Doctor patted himself clean and looked ready to leave.
"Thank you." The Soldier replied. She felt hollow at the thought of him leaving. She had a strong feeling that she had missed something. That it had just slipped through her fingers. Something crucial.
The Doctor turned towards her for the final time.
"Do me a favor. If someone wrongs you, no, if you ever meet a man that has taken everything from you, don't forgive him easily."
The Soldier watched the complicated turn of emotions in the man's eyes, unable to discern anything in the turmoil. "What?"
"You seem like a decent person. Don't forgive those who wrong you easily. They don't deserve it." The Doctor's eyes teemed with guilt.
"Thought you hated soldiers Mr. Smith." The Soldier teased lightly, trying to lighten the situation. Her words seemed to make it worse.
"I do." His face was grave, his voice tinged with warning. "Goodbye Soldier."
With that the Doctor was off, reluctant to stay back any longer. It was for the best. Eventually he would find her, his Soldier.
The Soldier watched him leave and took off into the forest, unwilling to say her goodbye to him. She had an inkling that they would meet again.
o0o
The Soldier left Artis a note.
For you.
She couldn't explain anything more than that. And after everything, if he wanted to know why, then she would tell him everything.
o0o
Artis twitched with impatience as he waited for the last parent to pick up their child. An evacuation had been ordered to the underground bunkers that had been built to counter the air threats of the Smicks.
Artis was not going underground. A sinking dread had been plaguing him since Red's unusual behaviour that afternoon. She had never been so forthright and adding in the nature of the conversation earlier, he was starting to grow very uneasy.
He had to stop Red from doing something stupid.
Some of the Latites saw Red as a suspicious figure, some even as a spy. Most of them saw her as a misfit alien that was stranded but were nonetheless still very cautious. Artis felt this caution was well deserved because nobody, not even he, could deny that the Soldier cut an intimidating figure.
But he knew something that none of the other Latites did. The Soldier was alone. She had never said so, but it was something he had pieced together by observing her behavior. Her speech, actions, even her personality indicated a loneliness that he had seen in many orphans.
She had warmed up to him quite a bit, and Artis soon noticed new things about her that he hadn't before. The weight of the grief on the Soldier seemed deeper than he had initially surmised. He even began to see her moments of vulnerability that suddenly made her easier to read. Beneath her impersonal exterior was a very evident desire to help.
It was precisely that he feared. Her involvement was only going to make things worse. An alien soldier intervening had all sorts of disaster written over it. Even without any war knowledge, this was glaringly clear. The Soldier was up to something and he had a feeling it wouldn't bode well for anyone.
He used his rudimentary tracking skills to see traces of the direction she went. The wind directed him towards the cities and he took off at a run. There was no time to waste.
The sight that greeted him in the battlefield made him freeze in horror. The Soldier was in action, hardly visible in her speed as she mercilessly slaughtered tens of bodies.
She was making a mistake. Why was she killing both Latites and Smicks?
Nothing made sense. What was going on? Why was some contraption of the Soldier electrocuting without discrimination? Another contraption that seemed like an advanced gun was firing bullets in quick precision at another advancing platoon of Smicks. The electrocuting device of hers was simultaneously aimed at another squadron of Latites taking down several of his tribesmen at once.
There was a collective roar of anger from both the Smicks and Latites as they converged to take down the Soldier first before dealing with each other. It was an intuitive understanding; someone killing with no discrimination was unforgivable and much more dangerous. She had to be dealt with first.
The Leaders of both the Smicks and Latities shared a look of understanding before redirecting the orders of their men. Artis was torn between moving forward to help the Soldier and his kin.
No, the Soldier had completely betrayed him. She was killing the people that had taken care of her and given her a home.
What was she doing? Had she gone insane? Should he talk to her?
Before he could make his mind up one way or another, he heard a cold voice. As he glanced at the Soldier's countenance in the distance, her soulless expression made his insides shrivel up.
"Pathetic. The weapons you carry are absolutely useless against me."
"You alien! Where are you from?! How dare you attack us with no cause?!" Artis noticed that Krene who had been the Smick general, had taken temporary command of the Smicks.
"Human! How dare you betray us?! You will suffer for this." Leader Sixteen looked ready to fulfil his promise.
"There is nothing pathetic creatures like you can do to me." She drawled before a casual flick of the trigger in both hands saw more people fall.
"Stop!" Both leaders shouted in unison. But the Soldier just looked bored. "It took me a while to infiltrate both your races. But your dreadful state made it so easy." A cold smile broke out on her face, "It took only one person to make you fall to your knees. An entire planet brought down by just me." The bemusement of the Soldier broke out into cold laughter and as the platoons and squadron moved to take advantage of the distraction, she took down another set of people with another casual press.
"Like that is going to work against me." She taunted condescendingly. "This is humiliating to watch. You lack any semblance of unity. Your armies are so outmatched. Any hope of winning is only possible with you working together, which," Another mocking grin broke through, "we all know is not going to happen. Even your leaders, Zero was it, aptly named I must say, and the other weak one, the Emperor that spoke of progress for all, they tried to unite together to get rid of me." She gave a blatantly fake yawn, "We all know how that turned out."
There was a collective uproar around the Soldier. Artis could not believe the words he was hearing. Everything he was hearing contradicted everything he knew about her. She was evil. She had killed so many without batting an eyelash.
"How dare you?!" "The Emperor was a good man!" "The Leader was a hero!" "Kill this alien!"
Krene and Leader Sixteen looked at each other and understanding spread silently between them. Their disagreements could be dealt with later. But this before them was evil. True evil that needed them to unite. Even their penultimate leaders had realized this which had led them to their untimely demise. They could see the wisdom of their choice. The alien had unwittingly told them the route to destroying it. It was the mistake of every villain.
Artis could feel similar thoughts flitting through all their minds. One alien could not withstand the onslaught of an united planet. As a river, they would grind her to dust. There was no way she would win against their constant onslaught.
"Do not be so surprised. It was amusing to see you turn on each other. Despite knowing both your leaders had died simultaneously, the conclusions you reached were laughable." A cold chuckle escaped her, as if the thought was hilarious. "Do not fret. You are not completely useless. For your mental faculties, slavery is a suitable occupation."
"Now!" Weapons from all directions shot in at her, and the Soldier leapt in the air, dodging at lightning speed. A stray bullet knocked the gun from her hands. A second wave of gunfire, poisoned arrows and throw knives came her way and the Soldier moved in impossible angles, avoiding most of the fire.
There! A poisoned arrow had ripped into the arm holding the other electric contraption. The contraption disappeared into her coat.
"It seems like you have united. How inconvenient. Distrust needs to be sown more deeply between you people before the next attempt can be made. Oh and before I leave, I must clarify. I am not human. That was so insulting. Humans are pathetic and emotional and do not have the greatness to achieve something as glorious as this. I am a Ti-" She was cut off as another squadron of both Smicks and Latites closed in and started another round of fire.
The Soldier took off and suddenly she was difficult to see. All that could be seen was a blur, momentary distortions on parts of the ground. She was fleeing. The armies of both sides stared in confusion, before Leader Sixteen pointed in her direction. The armies took off in every direction, seeking to surround her and kill her.
The dangerous creature sought to enslave their planet. She could not be allowed to make contact with her species.
Artis could barely believe what had just happened. Red Alpha, the creature that he had shared his home with, was an abomination, a being of pure evil that killed with no remorse.
The creature that had asked him about unity had sought to sow seeds of distrust between races to make sure they could never unite. But they had united...
The alien that had saved Bilvi and Rolt.
The alien that was alone and had unfathomable sorrow.
Unbidden, the note she left him came to his mind.
For you.
Suddenly everything made a terrible, horrible kind of sense. The conversation between them of truces and what could unite them. She was being cruel. To be kind. But these were measures beyond cruelty, this was evil.
He ran. He ran as fast as he could. He had to find her. She was going to be killed. No, death would be a relief compared to they had in store for her.
He had to save her.
But his mind rebelled against him. Saving someone who had done something so horrific made him nauseated. His head spun and he saw black spots fill his vision. But still he ran, because of his heart. His heart told him everything.
He knew.
And no one else did.
He knew.
And she was dying.
AN: I haven't watched the new episode yet because I was busy with this. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.
I know the Doctor part is confusing, but since it's the 12th Doctor, he has had much more interactions with her, than she with him. Why doesn't he know her at first? Spoilers! Also this is the Doctor after "Kill the Moon", if that wasn't apparent.
Please leave reviews! They are food to the soul of fanfiction writers!
