A/N: I apologize for the wait on this one. Real life has been insane. Also, I promise more of Castle's painful history will be revealed in the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or the characters used in this story.


Chapter 7

Castle sighs when the call cuts straight to voicemail yet again. Another day of nothing from the woman he can't get out of his mind. It's been two weeks since he let her walk out his door; fourteen days since he promised to give her time and let her come to him. She hasn't called, hasn't text, he's heard nothing from her.

He'd spent the entire anniversary of her Father's death with her, comforted her, and distracted her. He even went with her to the cemetery, held her hand while she stared at a gravestone carved with both her Mother and Father's names. And then he'd brought her back to the loft, fixed her dinner and distracted her some more.

She let him in that day; let him be something to her that he's not sure she's ever let anyone else. But when they day turned to night, the hours of a horrible anniversary slipping away, she'd put her walls back up and shut him back out again.

She's too young to have experienced so much pain, too young to have lost both parents.

But as the anniversary of Castle's own nightmare quickly approaches, he finds himself wanting her around. He's not sure he could tell her the entire story, not sure he could give her the details without losing himself in them, but her presence would make a world of difference.

His daughter will need him during the day, need his reassurance just as she always does, but at night when his head hits the pillow, he yearns for someone to help fight off his demons.

So, he calls Kate one more time, silent whispers of 'please' dying on his lips, but it beeps in his ear, clicks to her voicemail once again and he tosses the phone roughly to his desk.

It's just as well, he hasn't talked about that day with anyone since it happened six years ago, he's not sure he's ready to start now.


He turns his phone off, leaves it on his desk as he goes to find his daughter, determined to take her mind off of things, even for just a little while.

Alexis was so young when it happened, but not too young to remember, not too young to be effected by it. No child should witness the things she did, should hear the things her mother had said to her.

She's in her room when he finds her, nose buried in a book he knows she's read multiple times. But from the time she started reading books which wasn't too long after the incident, she's been reading "Wuthering Heights".

"Hey, Pumpkin," he calls out, peeking around her door to get her attention.

"Hey, Dad," the young girl smiles, closing her book and focusing her attention on him.

"You want to go get some dinner and ice cream?" he asks, pushing the cheeriness into his voice that he knows his daughter needs.

"Sure, I'll meet you downstairs in just a few."

"Okay," he nods, heading back downstairs to grab his coat.

He leaves his phone on the desk, not even bothering to turn it back on before he leaves. Instead, he focuses on his daughter, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and skipping to the elevator with her. Okay, maybe he's the only one skipping while Alexis laughs at him, but she's smiling and that's all that matters.

Remy's is packed when he follow Alexis inside, thankful when he spots their favorite waitress who has a table waiting for them in the back corner of the small burger joint. They've been coming to Remy's since Alexis was about five, a place that has remained their favorite.

Half way into their dinner, burgers half eaten and a second order of chocolate milkshakes on the way, Castle looks up to see no other then the woman who's been avoiding him for two weeks.

Her back is turned to him, but he knows it's her from the way she holds herself while she talks. He knows that body, has explored every inch of it and even clothed, he knows the ways Kate moves.

But despite the pang of yearning, he silently prays that she doesn't turn around, because an awkward encounter in front of his daughter is not what he needs right now. Alexis may only be fourteen, but she's extremely observant and picks up on things that others wouldn't.

He ducks his head, focuses on his burger and sighs in relief when their waitress brings back their chocolate shake refills, effectively blocking them from Kate's view should she turn around.

But just when he thinks he's in the clear, Alexis excuses herself for the bathroom and Kate picks that moment to turn around her gaze landing directly on him.

Well, Shit.


He doesn't smile, doesn't lift a hand and wave at her like the gentleman in him would normally do. He just stares awkwardly at her, unwilling to break the ice that's lingering between them.

Kate seems to realize that it's her who must make the first step, because she's the one who put the space between them to start with. She whispers something to the man standing beside her, a man that Castle assumes is one of her partners and then she's coming closer, stopping only a few inches from where he sits.

"Uh, hi," she stutters, her calm and collected detective demeanor wavering under the intensity of Castle's stare.

"Hello," he greets, although it can't really be described as a greeting when he looks so thoroughly disgusted with her.

"I didn't expect to see you here," she tries, fingers twisting almost nervously in front of her.

"I'm sure you didn't," he bites, though his voice remains low and civil.

"What does that mean?" She frowns, shoulders tensing at the unwelcome vibe she's receiving from him.

"It doesn't matter." He glances around her, ignoring her for a moment before settling back against the booth he's seated in. "Look, I'm here with my daughter and I really don't want to have an awkward conversation or whatever this is with you in front of her. I'm trying to keep her mind off of…" He trails off, unable and unwilling to continue in the middle of a burger joint with a woman who's done her best to avoid him for two weeks.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, a barely there apology that Castle would have missed had he not been looking at her lips.

"For ignoring me for two weeks or for this pointless conversation?"

Kate actually flinches at the words of his question, but he can't bring himself to be sorry for his tone. He doesn't have the energy or mental capacity to deal with her right now.

She can't find the words she knows he needs so she lets the thing between them remain as it is.

"My partner is waiting for me, so I'll just…" She motions behind her, starting to step away from the table as Castle nods, dismissing her without words.

She turns just before she's out of earshot, catching his attention once again. "And in answer to your question, both. I'm sorry for both."

He doesn't offer her any response, so she turns and walks away from him, ignoring the pounding disappointment of her heart.


Alexis returns to the table, ignoring his shift in mood even if she picks up on it and he's grateful for that, for her ability to know when to change the subject.

She pushes his milkshake towards him, smiling when he winks and puts his straw to his mouth. They drink until brain freeze takes over and they're both laughing with their hands pressed against their throbbing heads.

His mood is lighter after that, conversation flowing between him and his daughter as they finish their dinner.

"Hey, Dad?" Alexis asks when he's paid the bill and they step out onto the busy New York sidewalk.

"Yeah?"

"What do you think things would be like if Mom was still here?"

He freezes, her question catching him off guard and he sees the panic flare in her eyes, hears the apology on her tongue before she's even speaking the words.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she breaths, pulling him into a tight hug that effectively chases the demons away for the time being.

"It's okay, pumpkin. You have every right to ask questions like that."

He pulls her along the street with him, holds her close as he thinks over her question. His daughter deserves so much more than the mediocre answers he has for questions like this.

"I wish I knew, but you know what?"

Alexis stops, stares up at him as he fights to keep his composure.

"What?"

"What happened with your Mother was never your fault. She didn't know how to love you like I do. But you are so loved, don't you ever doubt that, okay?"

"I don't," his daughter reassures him, pulling him further along the sidewalk and back towards the loft.

He tucks her in just like he's always done and it doesn't matter that she's fourteen, she still lets him do it.


When he walks through his office he grabs his phone from the desk, turning it on and tossing it onto the bed before he sheds his clothes, dropping them into the hamper.

He takes longer in the shower than usual, letting the hot water beat against his skin and it's both soothing and a punishment, yet he welcomes them both.

He catches the final ring of his phone when he emerges from the bathroom, glancing down to see Kate's number on the screen. He doesn't race to answer it, doesn't smile like he would have a few days ago.

He ignores the voicemail that his phone reminds him she left, but swipes through his text messages, not surprised to find a few from her, but the last one catches his eye and he sits heavily onto the bed to read it.

I'm sorry for running for the last two weeks. I'm just not ready for anything else right now and I know that you want more then what I can offer you. I know you're hurting right now, Castle, and it's not from this thing we've been doing. You're carrying around an extreme weight of grief that you try your best to hide from others. I spend most of my day watching people, I see it even when you try to mask it.

He's not sure how he feels when he finishes reading her message, isn't sure if he wants to see her or let her go. But his musings are interrupted when another message from her pops up on his screen.

I don't want to interrupt anything with you and your daughter, but it's late and I know that you need someone to help ease your pain, just like you've done for me—more than once now. You didn't answer my call so I'm taking a chance. Let me in?

He stumbles off the bed and through his office, taking care to be quiet as he comes to a stop in front of the door. He almost thinks that she won't be there when he pulls the door open, almost expects this to be some type of cruel joke. But when he swings the metal free from its frame, there she is, beautiful and wearing the same thing she was when he saw her earlier.

"Kate…" He stutters, unable to say anything else because he's wrestling with how much he wants her and how certain he is that he needs to walk away from her. She's everything he wants and everything that will break him at the same time.

"You don't have to say anything right now, just let me be for you what you've been for me, an escape."


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