Letters: Part VII
'Pick up Shizuru… please just pick up!'
Phone in hand, Natsuki was fidgeting nervously. The hollow echoing of each right dug at the inside of her already naked heart. 'Why is it only she can make me feel this way? Is… is it love? Gah stupid head! Focus Kuga. Phone. Now.' Attention was turned back to the dull ringing. 'Pick up!'
Just before voice mail was about to kick in, a soft click was heard on the other line. Faint breathing echoed through the phone. Though it was barely auditable the sound was unmistakable, "Shizuru!"
Shizuru had no intention of answering the call. After all it was Natsuki's fault for how things were right now. Natsuki who constantly confused her. Natsuki who pained her. Natsuki… who she loved oh so dear. Inside it tore at her, and frankly, Shizuru didn't feel up to a lecture this night.
However as the phone continued to ring in her hand, the honey haired woman grew nervous. What if it was something important? What if Natsuki was in danger and Shizuru was just being childish. The last ring. Now or never Shizuru… And just like that – without conscious control – the Kyoto beauty flipped the phone open.
Words didn't formulate - even when the other yelled out her name into the seemingly dead line. Breath hitched, seemingly impaired, her mind cried 'Natsuki.'
It was impossible to mistake; the soft inhaling and exhaling of her perfect counterpart. For some reason she was oddly silent. No teasing. No outlandish remarks. She's still mad… or perhaps still hurting? Need to say something… quick! Yet words didn't come. Just like Shizuru, the bluenette was at a loss for words. Natsuki knew why she had called – knew the things she needed to tell the other – but when faced with the ordeal, Shizuru so close, yet so far, Natsuki was dumbfounded.
"I… Shizuru… I…" Was the way she began only to be cut off by a soft smile she could only imagine through the phone. The voice was soft – fake. Fist clenched Natsuki belittled herself for lacking the courage. The courage to ease the other's sorrows. The courage to say, perhaps not those three simple words, but something to the effect. Coward! Inside Shizuru was breaking, and Natsuki could hear it on the edges of her speech. The way she carried her words – a sorrow rang clear through the receiver. 'Again. Again she's wearing her mask… Please Shizuru… you don't have to hide from me any more. I'm here for you. I… I… I love you…' The words toyed with her mind and tongue alike. Though her mind screamed them, demanding to be heard, her tongue silenced the action before it was even capable of beginning.
I can't let her think anything is wrong. I must compose myself, no matter how much it hurts. "Ara, Natsuki what a surprise." Not really. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your call? Miss me already?" Ha like that would ever happen. Who are you trying to kid Shizuru… As usual she maintained that calm, composure, yet inside she was a sea of turmoil raging with hurt and doubt.
In need of a physical release of the mounding emotions, the older of the two reached for one of the many stuffed animals that lined the wall. Now within her shaking grasp a miniature silver wolf provided a comforting softness. A wolf… How fitting.
Not fast enough. Unable to formulate anything. So very Natsuki like. Cheeks flushed red at the teasing remark, even if it was only to conceal the pain – the inevitable. "S-s-shizuru… please… h-h-hear me… out." To lose her again… Natsuki couldn't bear the thought. Though even when presented with such a dilemma, the young girl found herself unable to say it. "I… I… can we talk? In person? There's something I need to tell you that's really important." Natsuki paused for a minute. What if she's busy? Of course she's busy! She's got a life outside of me. That girl has fans galore. "If you're busy I understand." The words came rushed, forced almost. She didn't want to have Shizuru feel obligated to see her. "I… I can wait. So… so tell me when you're available to talk okay? Thanks Shizuru." Everything came out in one big blurb, and beet red, Natsuki stood motionless within the confined bathroom, staring intently at the tiles below. "S-s-sleep well!" And with that Natsuki slammed the phone shut. Not out of anger. No, never. Simply out of… embarrassment?
Shizuru blinked down at surprise at the now dead line. Had Natsuki just asked to speak with her? Phone tossed half hazardly upon the mound of material and clothes, also known as a suitcase, the woman let out a sigh. She needed to get this all out before it consumed her as usual. So laptop in hand, Shizuru began plodding away at the keys. It was strange how she found solace within writing to an address she knew Reito-kun no longer used. Yes, that was correct. Even the great Fujino Shizuru wrote letters. Letters that would never be opened. Never be read. Or so she thought.
Author Note: Apologies!! The week I posted two chapters... well... the next week was basically exams ahoy and I haven't had the time to write.
Officially I have two exams left to write before I'm done and summer comes so bear with me.
I want to thank everyone who put in a vote. As you can tell Shizuru picks up. It's awkward and yadda yadda yadda.
I'm thinking of doing an alternate version of this chapter... where she doesn't pick up. It all depends on how things go.
So this chapter was short (brain dead aka writers block).
Next chapter should be much much longer.
